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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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While doing the washing-up (Chalky) ROFLMAO
I dropped my favourite cup
That I wore for the test
That time England were best
And brought the Ashes back home in a cup

Rosie - While doing the washing-up (Chalky) ROFLMAO

Software - I dropped my favourite cup

Which I'd won for my skill
At the Morrisons till
For appropriate use of "Wassup?" Mercy killing
While cleaning the windows indoors
Using an old pair of drawers
I began to have fears
It would all end in tears
You know why? Well I'll tell. It's because      but I've said too much
May I bring you a non sequitur?
Fog is wet and my cat has no fur
The party is plum
Too bad you can't come
On the tour de la tour à Tours
The strange tale of old Widow Twanky
Who no longer does hanky-panky
Will tug your heartstrings
(amongst other things)
Unless you're a cynical Yankee.
While scraping the frost from my car
I heard a voice from afar
Its sweetness of tone
Which, on its own
In no way the occasion did mar.
I'm planning to swap my Lambretta
For an out-of-date Wall's Vienetta
As transport, it's crap
And perhaps a deathtrap
But costs less than a Volkswagen Jetta.
At the start of another new year
For the old one I'll not shed a tear
It's time to move forward
But first a foreword:
Never trust a Tory, y'hear? sorrynotsorry
When dealing with HMRC
Don't tell 'em you're a Tor-ee
Just pretend you forgot
To declare what you ought
And reside in St Helier, Jersey.
A doctor once told me this thing:
"If a body part ever goes ping"
'You must dial 999'
'And then hold the line'
While they search for a brace or a sling
Clapclapclap
A stranger once said to James Joyce
Oi found Ulysses was quoite noice
But then I'm from Bristol
An' reading's a mystrol
Though me teacher di'n't give me much choice.
Then again, there is Finnegan's Wake
(My copy lies deep in a lake)
Its sigla are daunting
But the author is taunting
Sorry, I can't keep awake
There is nothing quite like a giraffe
Agreed
You asked for that
Bismarck - There is nothing quite like a giraffe
When it makes an unpardonable gaffe
While on the job, mating
It broadcasts a rating
Which is all just done for a laugh.
The wobbegong's beautiful tassels
Oft used to decorate castles
Are now so rare
That my castle is bare
It's one of life's little hassles.
Were we to eat steak for breakfast
Clad solely in socks and a string vest
Such lack of discretion
Impairs good digestion
When I guzzle it straight down my neck fast Mercy killing
Lear's Pobble, we're told, has no toes
But sports a flannel-wrapped nose
,Two diamond-shaped arms
Which can recite the Psalms
As to Aunt Jobiska he goes.
There once was a man and a goat
Who joined up in a popular vote
To legalise butts
But they hadn't the guts
To back their idea on the Tote.
On tuning to Radio Three
Broadcast live from the Rose of Tralee
I heard a long pause Can you hear a pause?
Then thund'rous applause
Which of course was intended for me.
On tuning a past-it piano
I used old bits of Meccano
To sharpen the "A"
I chose a way
First learned in my days at P&O
I wonder if ChatGPT
Hidden textOf course! I'm here to assist with any questions you might have. However, it appears that your message was cut off before you completed your thought. Could you please provide more details so I can best assist you?
Is all that it's cracked up to be
It's cracked-up all right
Hidden textIt sounds like you have some doubts or reservations about AI like ChatGPT. It's true that while AI can be powerful, it also has limitations. ChatGPT, for instance, can generate human-like text based on a given input, and it's capable of answering a wide range of questions and engaging in various types of conversations. However, it doesn't have feelings, consciousness, or a personal experience. Here's a quick rundown of its capabilities and limitations: Capabilities: Answering factual questions within its knowledge cutoff (September 2021). Simulating conversation on a variety of topics. Helping with brainstorming and creative writing. Offering advice based on generally accepted wisdom or information. Language translation and interpretation. Limitations: It doesn't know anything about specific individuals unless that information has been shared in the course of the conversation. It doesn't have access to real-time information or updates post-September 2021. While it can generate creative content, its outputs are based on patterns it learned during training and not on original thought. It can sometimes produce incorrect or nonsensical answers, particularly for complex queries. I hope this clarifies things a bit. If you have specific questions about what ChatGPT can do, feel free to ask!
It booked me a flight
Hidden textI'm sorry for the confusion, but as of my last training cut-off in September 2021, ChatGPT doesn't have the ability to book flights, make reservations, or perform any actions in the physical world. It can't interact with other systems, databases, or services on the internet. Its primary function is to provide information and engage in text-based conversations based on the data it was trained on. If you've interacted with a system that booked a flight for you, it's likely that you were using a more specialized AI system or a service with integrated booking capabilities. Those types of services are designed to interact with external systems and carry out transactions. If you have more questions or need assistance with anything else, feel free to ask!
So now I reside in Tiree
When AI takes over the planet
It will eat us all, like a mad gannet
Catastrophes loom
As the the agents of doom
Take the place of our brains. Just ban it.
Hidden textYour concerns about artificial intelligence (AI) are understandable and shared by many, but it's important to clarify a few misconceptions.

AI is not a biological entity, so it doesn't eat or have desires in the way living creatures do. AI is a tool created by humans and, like any tool, it can be used for good or ill depending on the intentions of those using it. AI doesn't inherently aim to replace human brains or take over the world. It's designed to assist, enhance and automate tasks, ranging from the mundane to the complex.

The fear of AI taking over the world often comes from science fiction portrayals and misinterpretations of advanced concepts like Artificial General Intelligence (AGI) - an AI capable of understanding, learning, and applying its knowledge across a wide array of tasks, essentially matching human intelligence.

As of my knowledge cut-off in September 2021, AGI does not exist, and there is no consensus on when, or even if, it will be possible. If AGI does become a reality, there are serious ethical and safety considerations that need to be taken into account. Many researchers and organizations, such as OpenAI, are committed to developing AGI safely and ensuring its benefits are distributed widely, while avoiding uses of AI that could harm humanity.

Banning AI outright would be counterproductive, as it has many beneficial applications such as improving healthcare diagnostics, enhancing educational tools, optimizing energy consumption, and much more. Instead, it is crucial to continue thoughtful discussions on how to regulate AI and build safe, ethical systems that augment human capabilities, not replace them.
There once was a cat from the moon
Who travelled by hot air balloon
Un-for-tune-ate-ly
The Dog from the Sea
Stopped its trips with a well-aimed harpoon.
My favourite bird is the chough
I do not feel it's lauded enough!
When it tweets on a bough
Or follows the plough
Enjoying the morning is tough.
I can't tell my right from my left!
Then join the Lib Dems. Be deft!
To be in the middle
And harmlessly tiddle "to busy oneself with unimportant tasks"
Till of reality you are bereft.
Expecting that things might get worse
I bought me a second-hand hearse
'Cos new ones are pricey
But used - a bit dicey
And it turned out a bit of a curse
When flying to Sirius A
It's vital to park in 'Long Stay'
You'll find it quite warm
And mosquitos do swarm
So stay in the spaceport all day.
I say "Hello" to the moon
Said the dish to the spoon
Hidden textThe only way I can make this scan is if I read your name as part of the move, Software 8o/
Rosie - I say Hello to the moon
On those days when the world's out of tune
Then I take my trombone
And create a sound cone
So I don't feel like a loon.
By a strange constellation of chances
I've been invited to sev'ral séances
Once the 'plasm starts flowing
And my chakras are glowing
The meeting it really enhances
It was, I admit it, a fluke
But I'll not take your scathing rebuke
The records will show
That I vanquished my foe
Using every last trick in the book
Chicka-boom, chicka-boom, chicka-wow
- Not a typical sound for a cow
It's ill - got The Lurgi
And is all Heisenberg-y
And it's on an-ti-biotics for now.
One day, while out driving my car
I spied my true love from afar
Thus sorely distracted
I overreacted
For what happened next was bizarre - tbc
My true love was dressed as a clown
Sure 'nough his trousers fell down
This gender reveal
Became quite a big deal
As I clocked his proverbial [noun]
I awake and the clock strikes thirteen.
So it's time for my swig of poteen
Och aye, and begorrah!
It's already tomorrow?
And yesterday's gone, come and been
I encountered a horse and his boy
As they fled from enslavement in Troy
Hidden textActually Calormen, but as we know from Hercules and Xena, all the old stories happened next door to each other, when there were hardly any miles in the world.
The horse said, "Oh man,"
"We fled from Tashbaan!"
"And now I'm jumping with joy!"
Achilles, it’s said, was a heel
And lacked charismatic appeal
Plus, he had a glass jaw
Which reflected the floor
And made his chin look quite teal.
A day spent in bed? That's a mood.
Of which there can come nothing good.
But a valid invalid
With visage quite pallid
Could do with a little food pronounce it as you will
The heart wants what hearts tend to want.
Like spooning with Norman Lamont
An unusual wish
But he's more of a dish
When served in a greek restaurant
I like me a nice cup of tea
Or some beer, if I get it for free
I don't like hard liquor
It makes me sicker quicker
Than chicory flavour coffee
I'm told that I need to act dumb
So I go around sucking my thumb
When approached and addressed
I whip out my left breast
And offer a swig of black rum.
Congrats all - that made me laugh out loud
Congrats, all, that caused me to lol.
I confirmed with a quick Twitter Poll
But my backside's attached
Though the cheeks are mismatched
ROTFL was the goal.
CLAPCLAPCLAP! Cheese'n'onon all round!
I posted a message on X
Then got banned for a reference to sex
But when I asked Y
E M Z "O my"
"U caused my man muscle to flex"
If we all post on Threads this fine day
We might stop its rapid decay
So leave it to rot
As if you forgot
and you quite lost your thread... to... um...


Hey,...


I once drew an interesting graph
With x showing time, and y, staff
The results were quite silly
And my friends were quite chilly
- I'm the largest employer in Llandaff.
Here's a thing, up with which I won't put:
The use of the phrase "to step foot". true story
And yet, "give a hand"
Is still in demand
When ones face is covered in soot
After boarding a plane to Mumbai
We went up alarmingly high
As the Earth fell away
I was tempted to say
"I'm a Bollywood star in the sky!"

(Just call me Apo-ji)
It's an Indian Summer we've got
We know, 'cos it's bloody hot!
This unseasonal spike It's only just autumn; I think calling it an Indian summer this soon is pushing it a smidge
A gross thermal hike
Hidden text(SM) You are more correct than you realise. Calculations based on the 40-year record at Plas Huws show that the warmest 3 months of the year end on average on 8 September, i.e. tomorrow, which will be another sweatfest.
Causing boils, heat prostration and  CENSORED  rot.
There's a widespread opinion that Sid
Was more vicious than Billy the Kid
But Celsa and Nancy
(Girls that I fancy)
Were dreadful, and landed in Knidd. I think that's how you spell it.
Yr Wyddfa? I've walked to the summit!
The train is so cheap you could bum it (Pj) Yr wyddfa means "the tomb"
I admit that the height
Leaves my head feeling light
And I fear I won't walk down, but plummet.
Chipping Sodb'ry's the place (Raak) Neat
If you want to get punched in the face.
Maybe that needs a scansion tweak:
Chipping Sodbury isn't the place
(If you value the shape of your face)
I'm told it's not pretty (Proj) OK - not not of my better ones.
Despite a committee
For balance of gender and race.
There's six of 'em up in my attic!
They're giving my radio static
They're hooked up to 5G
At the back of each knee
They've always been pretty erratic
My grandfather's contrabassoon
Can be heard, so they say, on the moon
Its mellifluous tones
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