mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

And cried: "Save me, Lord"

muttleee

Though he never responds when I pray

YMMV

I'm offering up this kind thought-

If you do what you know that you ought

Then if someone sees

You stuffing golf tees Unfinished thought alert

Surely, you will be caught.

muttleee

I'd like to say 'well done' to Pfizer Nothing if not topical

If it's true let's all have a spritzer

At -80 degrees Cee

Hidden text

er ... the name is pronounced Pf-EYE-zer, innit?

It's obvious to me
It will be applied by Thagomizer

Mercy killing

A vaccine? Oh my! Is it true?

Should we cheer? Shout Hurrah and Woohoo?

But suppose it's a dud?

And does us no gud invoking poetic licence

There'll be quite a hullabaloo.

CdM

Keep that needle away from my arm!

In my bum, though, it works like a charm

Superman

I've been waiting for weeks

To whip off me breeks

Though it causes the wife some alarm

Beware - do not try this at home

Especially not on your own

Suppose it explodes

penelope

And fuses your nodes Shades of Rambling Syd Rumpo there.

Bismarck

You'll be blown from here half way to Nome.

CdM

Nome, and its green green green grass

Is built on cooled volcanic glass

They say that at night

Its emerald light

Looks like oxidized brass

Let the horizontal rule

Tuj

Ring the bells! Sound a gong! Hoist the flag!

Says the front page of my Sunday rag

Well, get The Observer

Which proclaims with great fervor

Superman

"How to split up from your lifetime bag."

While shepherds were watching their flocks

Dujon

Of chickens and geese and some cocks

They whiled away the time

By eating a lime

And chasing off all chicken hawks.

CdM

Me ‘n my mates, we’re all kings from back east

We're the Basildon Bad Boys, now mainly deceased

From beyond the grave

We'll still have a rave

with 'Unleashed From The East' - Judas Priest
(real album - honest guv')

Bismarck

While slamming tequila on ice

muttleee

I blacked out at least once or twice

Hit me 'ead on the floor

Lost a fight with a door

And got dragged off to jail by the Vice.

In praise of the old Pearly Queen

I painted my private parts green

The public bits red

Bismarck

Then I shaved my head

And stripped off so to be seen

I went out with a real little raver

Who moonlighted, days, as a paver

His favourite dance

Had a one in four chance

Of not making him one to savour

The chord that was lost has been found

And has a most beautiful sound

It's a mixture of twang,

And blip-bloop and ktang

Like George Formby falling t'' ground. 'Owja do glo''al stops?

While cleaning windows what did I see?

Superman

A gentleman who looked like George Formby!

He was missing his uke,

And he gave me a look That's considerably less revolting than my first idea for the line