mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

At the rubbish you get for your buck.

Five Bitcoins I've got in my purse

Software

They're better than cash - quite perverse

For they're not really real

Bismarck

Though easy to steal

Juxtapose

They're easy to spend, and that's worse.

There's a hole in my new christmas sock

Giertrud

That fits snugly around my cock

However, it itches

When inside my britches

So I line it with large leaves of dock.

Moving swiftly on...

Let us think of the coming New Year

And deck ourselves out in flash gear

And I promise you this

penelope

I won't take the piss sorrysorrysorry - it was asking to be done

Which means that I won't be a Peer (Claims Worst Pun of 2018 So Far Award)

Now I've shuffled the deck - will you deal?

With twenty-five cards? You for real?

Superman

With no aces or kings

penelope

We've no arrows nor slings

But fortune outrageous, I feel.

So, now the New Year's under way and no naval types try to tell me it's "weigh" please...

Stevie

And I've escaped the vile Opus Dei If we are talking the Warring States period of China, it could be "under Wei"

So our future is bright

To pursue the good fight

To bury Theresa May.

Dujon

There are Tories and Whigs at my door Seeing as we are going political

In big herds never seen heretofore

For Tandridge foments chance'd be a fine thing

Superman

'Midst back bench laments

While we blankly ask "What's it all for?"

In Bangalore there's someone called George

Who went to the Marble Rocks Gorge