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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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As you sit on the shitter No point warning you in advance of that, was there? You all knew it was coming. Far too hot for a coat.
Rise up and be strong! Or fall in.
By unceasingly talking in riddles
You can get away with most fiddles
But the clear light of reason
In this rainy dry season
Should help exclude most muddy middles
Last time I regressed to the mean
I created a terrible scene
'Cos I was once bimodal
And hacking the code'll
Make everyone turn red (or green?)
Encrypted persistence persist
Just try saying that when you're pissed! UK English meaning of Pissed (n.) in a state of intoxication through alcohol.
Saliva will flow
Whilst your cheeks flush and glow
Inspissated inspectors insist!
A great deal of effort is spent
To decide what to give up for Lent
And if you give up
Giving up have a cup
of Darjeeling with Rhum, max percent.
I can feel there's a storm coming up
'Bout Qatar and the World Cup
Some dodgy dealing
And wheeling (with feeling)
So FIFA's corrupt, is it? Yup. I have taken the liberty as this one had become a bit of a wallflower.
A guinea pig once came to stay
So I made it at home with some hay
I plied it with wine
Which it thought was divine
My best bottle Grand Cru Cabernet.
A guinea pigs life must be hard
As they tussle for scraps in the yard
Competing with cats
Hiding from vampire bats
While reciting the words of the Bard
I once bought a pig for a guinea
'twas pink and so thin - almost skinny
But feeding it well
Soon caused it to swell
And now it won't fit in my mini
I once had a skirt-wearing pig
For convention it cared not a fig
For instance, its snout
would run like a spout
And its butt was enormously big.
While preparing my sugar cured ham
I thought I would use damson jam
'Tis both piquant and sweet
And I do love to eat
Jam-ham a-la damson, by damn!
While watching a Colin Firth flick
He started to get on my wick
His monotonous voice
Reading novels by J a m e s J o y c e
Make a portrait of me being sick [Marc] Just "Joyce" would have scanned better, perhaps?
I don't want to get out of bed
I'd rather stay tucked in instead
Being all safe and warm
And farting a storm
Leaving blankets and sheets widely spread.
As the autumnal mists descend
O'er the lea the kine their slow way wend
The ploughman homeward plods
While worshiping his Gods
And leaves the world to darkness m'friend...
http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/Classic%20Poems/Gray/elegy_written_in_a_country_churc.htm
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