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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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Phil
To a vertical vector
[nights] I'm sure they are, given the quantity of beer brewed there. I was simply struggling for a rhyme :-)
Marc
Then launched into orbit quite swift…
Marc
Tomorrow the Moon will return
Software
From its weekend out with Saturn
nights
While the moon was away
Excuses, excuses... :)
KagomeShuko
The earth did decay
Projoy
So perhaps it is best to adjourn?
Rosie
There's nothing as fast as a cheetah
Chalky
So says my feline speed-o-meter
Quendalon
But if you want
slow
Pablo
(So slow it don't show)
internal rhyme alert...
Raak
Watch lichen — a sloth record-beater.
penelope
Today, I am dyeing. It's black...
(re-dying faded black clothes black)
Raak
As a glass of black mild Nutty Slack
Rosie
Its minute albedo
gil
Is just right for sado-
...that was a tricky one, Rosie.
Marc
-lin, Matching my nice Chapeau Claque.
Rosie
(gil) Yeah, a bit clever-clever, but there's
speedo, libido, paedo, lido, credo, Toledo.
KagomeShuko
All my clothes have been eating by moths
penelope
And my shoes have been slothing by sloths
Making a feature out of the quirk of KS's line
Kim
And as for my hats
Raak
They're all nested by bats
Software
So they think I've been haunting by Goths
Marc
We are what we eat we have heard
penelope
So I'm mostly tomatoes and curd
Phil
And I'm a nice curry
Software
I eat in a hurry
cfm
And for me, olives are the last word
Quendalon
The practice of oenomancy
Giertrud
Is one that the Romans did fancy
Chalky
By sharing a cask
Raak
An enquirer could ask
cfm
Which actions were safe and which chancy
Giertrud
A strapping young fellow named Clancy
Chalky
When working the clubs was called Nancy
Marc
He strapped while she stripped
KagomeShuko
And flopped while he flipped
Pablo
For the clients who all took his fancy
Chalky
That all-soft'ning o'erpowering knell
Rosie
Means you're on a journey to Hell
Not
you,
m'dear.
Software
Slip into the mire
Raak
To a fate that is dire
Marc
And our trip down the hill ´s going swell.
Marc
There's a gap in my force-field of love
Raak
Through which demons and succubi shove
Phil
It's a worm-hole of lust
Rosie
And romance turns to dust
KagomeShuko
Which flies to the clouds up above.
Chalky
This journey could go on forever
CdM
And is surely not worth the endeavor
Rosie
For when we arrive
Raak
From a very long drive
Software
There's been a change in the weather
Pablo
There's a feeling - or is it just me? -
Phil
That this verse will stop dead at line three
Chalky
I'm not one to doubt.
Tuj
If I reincarnate as a puffin
Rosie
I'll mulishly call myself Muffin
Raak
On the island of Lundy
Software
My partner and me
Botherer
Will nest-build from navels with fluff in.
Marc
We have heard that the winner takes all
[T, R, R, S, B]Excellent, free drinks tonight!
penelope
But don't fret should the wealth start to gall
Pablo
Cash can't bring you joy
Chalky
Unless you're called Roy
Software
But it's better than bugg*r all
Chalky
[Softers] If I may be so bold - you are significantly short-syllabled and arrhythmic in both your last entries .. thought you'd sussed this game by now ;-)
Inner lining
Marc - The Scansion-class this Fall semester
Software
Will be taken by the head jester
[Chalks] I disagree, it does work.
Raak
The Rhymer's a clown
Phil
The jester will frown
Rosie
At the way that these matters obsessed her.
Hidden text
It's a jestess.
Jestess
All our efforts to set the bar higher
[Softers] Hope we can agree to disagree. ;-)
penelope
have us jumping from skillet to fire
Rosie
Where we are consumed
(Funny Girl) You're right. I'll have a word with him next time he's over.
Software
All pedants presumed
[Chalks] Naturally :o)
Marc
Class dismissed and now also ceasefire.
Pablo
Debate is a most healthy thing
Kim
At the Darby and Joan Club in Tring
Phil
It helps them stay young
Marc
And grease up their tongue
Software
So with their friends they can swing
Rosie
In Somerset, Dorset and Devon
penelope
They're always in bed by eleven
Software
But the people of Hants
cfm
Are just putting on pants
Phil
And they won't be back home until seven
penelope
In the flat agricultural east
Rosie
All cult'ral activity has ceased
Raak
The turnips are ready
Marc
So tasty but thready
Pablo
Fit neither for man nor for beast
Phil
So The Ashes will grind to an end
Software
With rain being England's best friend
Chalky
And Broady and Swann
Tuj
Turn their sprinklers on
Chalky
As they've more than a penny to spend
No takers all week? Ah well.
Rosie
While spending an evening in Kettering
(Chalky) We can lose with grace, but not win.
Chalky
Perfecting my copperplate lettering
Software
I blotted my book
Pablo
(As the locals say,"fook!")
penelope
Putting paid to my hopes for its bettering.
Phil
My computer has not crashed today
Software
Unusual for Windows®, they say
Rosie
And although I'm pleased
penelope
I know if I sneezed
Marc
My screen would collapse and turn grey...
Marc
Good morning all poets it's time
Phil
To celebrate autumn in rhyme
penelope
Write of 'mellow' and 'fruit'
Rosie
And rabbits to shoot
Software
With apples to pick in their prime
Pablo
But what do you say of the rain?
Rosie
Well, it's wet and it goes down the drain
penelope
It hangs out in pools
I thought 'puddles' would be too hard to rhyme. You're welcome
Phil
And obeys fluid rules
Raak
Before long it will come back again.
Software
The rain in Spain, so they say
Raak
Mainly falls on the plain every day
Rosie
But the Sierra Nevada
Some
very
dubious climatology here.
Chalky
(the one in Granada)
Pablo
Is fine all year round, so "Olé!"
Kim
While enjoying a Café au Lait
Phil
I was asked, "Are you well?". I said "Très!"
penelope
Mais le cuillère est
bent
Chalky
Et la tasse 'as une
dent
- just googled le cuillère to check my schoolgirl french. Ooh la kama sutra la!
Rosie
Mais le goût, je vous dis, est OK.
Chalky
*applauds*
Phil
*Applauds the limerick; winces at the Franglais*
penelope
[Phil]
Then I reckon we need more practice...
Aujourd 'hui, le naming de parts
Pablo
comme les fruits pour le making of tarts
Phil
Will commence avec plum
Software
Bien sur, mon ol' chum
Chalky
Mais ils font tous nos dents plutôt
schwartz
Aha! See what I did there.
Heddlu'r llinell
Simons Mith
Demain machen wir ein gateau
Rosie
Mor drwm â'r
Tibetan Plateau
(Welsh) "as heavy as the".
Software
Ik heb een gros pain
Marc
Horror vacui
my brain
Phil
Und el pastel est dans my zapato
Marc
Enough now let's get back to work
Chalky
Said the dull-witted jobsworth from Chirk
Rosie
Then off went th'alarm
My Dad's from near Chirk.
Software
At 5 on the farm
Pablo
So he got himself up with a jerk
Kim
The jerk I got up with today
Pablo
Is not worth the money I pay
Giertrud
He costs seventeen pence
Rosie
I must have no sense
Software
I hope he'll just go away
Rosie
The mocking the trainspotter suffers
Software
In anorak stood by the buffers
Marc
The trains passing by
Phil
See the young 'spotter cry
Pablo
"What's 'Get a life!' mean, you duffers?"
Chalky
Young Pablo just timed to perfection
Rosie
His disdain for social rejection
Phil
He avoided a snub
Software
But this is the rub
Marc
And we offer him full time protection.
Software
Today I think I will shuffle
Pablo
My coats - both trench and duffle
[Chalky] young???
Phil
- graze the floor as I walk
penelope
And muffle my talk
Marc
And fill my big mouth with fine truffle.
Raak
Glanting rain and sprale winds are forecàst
Chalky
In Zeroia the land of my past
Phil
Where spallion fields grow
Pablo
Fine cronx in the snow
Marc
And my abras are blooming at last.
Marc
Her knickers were bloomy and pink
Phil
I smiled, she laughed with a wink.
Software
And as she bent down
penelope
A fart rent her gown
irach
And
that's
what's done drove me to drink
Marc
Campari, Pernod, Gin and Whisky
Software
All in a pint glass rather risky
Raak
Add a few whites of eggs
penelope
To stiffen the dregs
Pablo
Scoff it down, and feel rather frisky
Chalky
Your challenge this Tuesday is thus:
penelope
Take a flock of wild geese on the bus.
Kim
When you reach Euston Square
Phil
Disembark with a pair
Rosie
As the others quack "What about us?"
bugger me, talking geese.
KagomeShuko
The students in British Lit
penelope
Should study the format a bit!
K-S - you're a syllable short, m'dear!!
Pablo
The syntax and grammar
Phil
Cause newbies to stammer
Chalky
Plus most think that Shakespeare is shit.
Simons Mith
There once was a Viking called Jeff
Marc
Who chiselled the first letter F
Chalky
When faced with the second
Phil
Distraction soon beckoned
KagomeShuko
And instead of Jeff, he was Jef.
Hidden text
Hey, Edward Lear always used the same ending word for the first and last lines of his limericks.
Simons Mith
An orthodox rabbi called Skuld
Juxtapose
Discovered his cocoa had cooled
Raak
He said to Verðandi
Marc
Your blowtorch comes handy
KagomeShuko
But it's strange that it is bejeweled.
Chalky
Your challenge this Tuesday is this:
Raak
To be pleasant to your little sis
Software
But as for your brother
Phil
Your father and mother,
Kim
Just carry on taking the piss.
Juxtapose
There once was a man from the States
Chalky
Named Billy - but he had No Mates
Marc
Except for Tim Nice
irach
And Leontyne Price
Pablo
Which kind of restricted his dates
Simons Mith
A tale of forbidden papayas
It was the idea of a restricted date that got me thinking on these lines
Raak
And lovers in heat on the playas
KagomeShuko
Gave way to the sun
Juxtapose
Which ruined the fun
Rosie
This UV is just sent to try us.
Chalky
Your challenge this Tuesday is risky
Phil
To make it to lunch without whisky
Pablo
And restrain your desires
penelope
To start small office fires
Raak
And entice the young temps to be frisky.
Juxtapose
On Wednesday the sun will go nova
Rosie
We'll be done to a crisp; it's Game Over
Phil
So let's party all week
Chalky
Give our fun cells a tweak
Software
And spend the final few moments in clover
Raak
My teeth are all falling apart
They are.
Rosie
They're going to hell in a cart
Pablo
So chewing's a chore
Kim
And biting's a bore
cfm
It sucks being such an old fart
Elizabeth
Being a New-comer, I am always seeking online for articles that could assist me. Many thanks! %KW% Elizabeth http://adw7.ru/user/izlxybtidbt/
Inner lining
Marc - There once was a most thankful Russian
Raak
Whose life was once saved by a Prussian
cfm
But along came a Spaniard
Rosie
In a style most maññered
Chalky
And Olé! El Ruso was blushin'.
Raak
Sir Cornelis Maartenszoon Tromp
Marc
Was the first to cross Zuiderzee Swamp
Pablo
But his dugout canoe
Kim
Sprang a leak, maybe two
Rosie
But he got there and arrived in some pomp.
well, with a name like that....
Pablo
I've discovered a whizzo new game
Phil
I just need to think up a name
Juxtapose
There's only one rule:
Marc
You must play like a fool,
Raak
And never make two moves the same.
Marc
I suggest that we start with this line,
Raak
"There was an old man of Loch Fyne"
Simons Mith
And then for the second,
Juxtapose
A rhyme which is reckoned
Giertrud
Would be absolutely divine!
Allow me
Phil
The Doctor's re-written the past
cfm
And Who else but he could recast
Marc
But the Great Originator
Mom
Or the grim terminator
Pablo
(We're desperate to make this series last)
Marc
There once was a cool desperado
Rosie
Who claimed t'have written
The Mikado
Kim
On the opening night
[Rosie] I'd have put the "'t" next to
Mikado
Ann
He just started to fight
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