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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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Work can wait till next week
Meanwhile let us seek
Many reasons to laugh and be gay ...in honour of Softers' coming out.
I sing 'cos I'm glad to be gay playing along
And a friend of the late Ronnie Kray
Through the songs that I sing
Haven't brought me much bling
I did meet Sinatra one day!
Next week I'll be joining a band
Of barbarians, roaming the land
'Cos I've signed for Port Vale
(I'm told they serve ale)
But their football is a bit bland
Next year is the Year of the Snake
I'll hit the dammed thing with my rake
Before I'll let it crawl
Up my lavat'ry wall (Softers) Were you thinking of
Hidden text My friend Billy's got a ten-foot willy/And he showed it to the girl next door/She thought it was a snake/So she hit it with a rake/And now it's only six foot four.
?
And admit that it was my mistake....
In Eden the apples are ripe
And of aphrodisiac type
So I baked a nice pie
For my hubby to try
But the proof of the pudding is hype
'Hail fellow! Well met!' said the pastor
(Of true bonhomie he's the master)
With a wink and a grin
He absolved me of sin
Confession just got somewhat faster!
On the first day of Februar-ee
Thirty eight things my love gave to me: [C,R,S,p,P] Nice.
One was a jewel
And one was a tool
Which he inserted delicat-lee.
American football's confusing
Or possibly downright bemusing
Most don't touch the ball
Though players are tall
Superb owls are much more amusing
She is wise as an owl I've been told
Her knowledge is quite manifold
On the subject of voles
She impresses the proles
Though that's hardly one of her goals.
When Richard the third called for 'horse' something topical for a change
'Twas past time to bargain, of course
You can't use a nation
For experimentation
Though many do so, and by force.
I'd like to replace "experimentation" with "negotiation" in that last limerick. :-)
They're preparing for this year's Grand Prix
We'll be fighting on land and at sea
From Le Mans to Dubai
Yeongam and Shanghai
And what's left of the old Aral Sea.
Oscar, my dear, your red rug
Is home to many a bug
Tho' to you it is cosy
It's hellish for Rosie
Who itches and cannot get snug.
The slanderous comments above
And the full implications thereof
Are herewith rescinded
In manner long-winded
Devoted to brother and sisterly love...!
The Conclave's elected Pope Mary,
Who plans to be Jesus's fairy
A pontiff with wings
Who can do magic things
But the giveaway is - she's so hairy
Bugger - insert quotation marks around "she's" if you would
The puff of white smoke tells us all
That the popemobile's just hit the wall
But look out, now it's black! (...the smoke of course...)
Is Benedict back?
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