mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

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And so it begins....

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Often ran off the rails

Then got stoned and sowed out his wild oat...

There once were five spicy girls singing

But now they sound flat and look minging

If Take That re-formed

Then let us be warned

Alarm bells should be set ringing

There once was a Samurai hero

Whose score in swordfighting was zero

Though lacking in skill

He managed to kill

Both Lulu and Helen Shapiro. Bastard!

There once was a girl that could sing

(or so she once thought) anything

But once on the "X"

She lowered her kecks

And sang "Desert Song" a la Sting

The thing about artisan bread

Is its guaranteed freedom from lead

Instead you will find

That it makes you go blind

So I'll eat Hovis® instead

A vacation that is what we need

To drink beer, and cider, and mead

Relax by the pool

Eating gooseberry fool

Did anyone bring any weed?

I woke today with a sore throat

So I chewed on a piece of fried stoat

And to my surprise

I've a three octave rise

In a ditty I sing with my goat

This soup, with its noodles and chicken

Is good for the ill and flu-stricken

And even, some say

Keeps the lurgi at bay

In need though of Rum to un-thicken

When treating a bronchial infection

You'd better obey this direction

To draw out the phlegm

Just shout out "A-hem!"

And prepare for social rejection.

When drawing your last living breath

Here's what you can do to cheat death

Grab the Grim Reaper's scythe

With a gesture most blithe

Shouting, "Is this a knife?", like Macbeth

If you can't tell a knife from a spoon

You'll get classified as a loon

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