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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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My interest in Scunthorpe United
A team which just lacks
Defence and attacks
Thank goodness my love's unrequited.
audience applauds Tuj's finale*
*points out sins of omission*
And now, on the thirteenth of June
I wonder if it is too soon
To start Christmas shopping
Or New Year bed hopping
Or flying my hot air balloon
The Eurozone's future is dodgy (Chalky) Deliciously disgraceful.
As My Big Fat Greek Wedding, so podgy
The drachma and lira
May soon reappear, a
Sure sign the economy's stodgy
I have some pesetas indoors
Which Angela Merkel deplores Last one v. good esp. CdM & Softers.
"Ein Volk, Reich, und Geld!"
She recently yelled
And on cue - Georgios Samaras scores - ... they still lost 2 - 4 though :(
Last night as I shaved my left armpit
The razor was causing me harm - shit! ... rising to the challenge
As it scraped of the hairs
And with them my cares
I took a large nick from my tit! coat!
Softers - would've been even better as 'darn tit'
[Chalks] You can't get a man to curse a boob - they love them too much.
It's green eggs and ham every day
Or it would be - if Seuss had his way!
His prandial obsession
Drives one to depression
And it ain't even kosher, oy, vey!
Sliced thin, on rye, with brown mustard
Or served with fish fingers and custard
Whenever it's served
It's still quite absurd
Not to savour a plump baby bustard.
Thai chicken and lemongrass soup
A melon - a nice cantaloupe
No, give me baked beans
(And you know what that means!)
We're back in the flatulence loop
I'll settle for boeuf a la croute
Served up in a black leather boot
Cooked rare, by a wench
That I'd like to clench
Resplendent in her birthday suit.
Kofta curry and pork vindaloo
Are the height of cuisine – in my view
But then, I am fond
Of a good Sussex Pond
And the minds of Essex girls too
[Raak] Ooooh, I haven't cooked one in ages. Time for a revival I think :)
We eat and we drink - pee and shit
Then we do it again -- is that it?
Well, also, there's work
And the ultimate perk
Reproduction - that helps a bit.
While sipping my coffee-to-go
I got stuck in ten feet of pure snow
But, when cometh the spring
Caffeine gave me a zing
And already I've started to glow
I’ll switch to the gill- and the fin-mode
'cause we've water all over our main road
The Met Office says
It's raining for days
So my hair-drier's hit "overload"
My strimmer has broken - alas!
Please borrow my strummer, it's world class!
It does make a racket
'Tho' it cost me a packet
And the one thing it baulks at is grass.
I'm struggling to find any meaning
With offering Free Window Cleaning
To some it's quite clear
It's because you can peer
up the nethers of anyone leaning.
There once was an elderly goat
Who'd spawned several offspring of note
The Grand Druid of Wales
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