mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

So let us all grow rice

Now, now, please don't have a paddy

Paddy leeches aren't nice

I wish I were a boxer

Rather than a scotty

Or even a dalmatian in a desperate bid to get this moving again

Costing fifty zloty. Crap, but it'll do. (CdM) Well done. No-one's fault really.

[Rosie] I was expecting "dotty" :-)

I wish I had the foresight

To know what banks to short

Then I'd make a killing [Rosie] I thought that I'd primed it for the last line to be something like "Cos my nose is snotty" but there you go ...

If I'd sold what I bought sorry for the doublepost, but it just seemed right

I wish I was a chimpanzee

Tossing off with vigour

I'd stare at you from in my cage

Robin

(For chimps that's so de rigueur)

I do so wish I could speak French

Simons Mith

The language of romance

Much better than the Double Dutch

Tuj

"Take off der pants, der pants!"

O! Would I were a poet!

nights

My verse, it would astound

And what it lacked in scan and rhyme

I'd make up with sheer sound.

I wish I were a sculptor

Wrestling with wet clay

Trying to create beauty

In a Venus de Milo way

I wish I was a frisbee

Spinning through the air

I'd land in someone's picnic

With buoyant savoir faire

I like my steak done meejum rare

Blood-stained, not dripping red

Served up with crispy onion rings

And crusty, warm French bread *rumbles*

I wish I were a salmon [Pen] Nicely topped and tailed

Swimming to my spawning ground

And though I'm going 'gainst the flow

My methodology is sound I wonder why some "stick"?

I wish I were a stick insect [Software] I think it has to do with the movement of the stick market

Just like Peter Crouch

Phil

I'd stick one in the Kazakh's goal

I really am no slouch

I wish I were a Two-toe'd Sloth

I just hate having five

I'd spend each day just hanging on

To prove that I'm alive.

When I switched on my telly

The news was far from good

I've lost a lot of money

So let's play Robin Hood.

When I switched on the wireless

To hear Evan Davis drawl

Irouléguy

I sat and quietly panicked

It made my skin just crawl

I wish I were an ingot

Phil

Locked up in Fort Knox

Safely away from mayhem

In Uncle Sam's steel box

It's not the way I planned it

It's not like it should be

Alas, it's all gone pear-shaped

But it suits me to a tee

I wish I was a chimney sweep

Just like Dick Van Dyke

I'd stick my brush right up your flue

And shake it, if you like. My coat? How kind......

I wish I were Italian

Ruthlessness plus charm

I'd cruise Roma on Lambrettas

A compare on my arm Compare n. crony, close pal, buddy. Literally, "godfather" in Italian.

I wish I were a compère Compère n. master of ceremonies. From old French, meaning "godfather".

Oozing wit and charm

I'd denigrate the other acts

And call Queen Lizzie "Marm"

I wish I were a Comice Pear

A female shape for sure

Narrow here and wider there

Luscious, juicy, phwooar! Er, sorry. Saw a copy of The Sun in the Co-op.