mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

I wish I weren't an England fan

Tuj

It's getting somewhat bland

Whether soccer, cricket, rugby

So best stick head in sand.

Tuj

I wish I were an Irish man

irach

I'd have the name O'Reilly

Irouléguy

And cheer the boys at Croker Park

Because I'm really smiley :-)

I want to have a raison d'étre

But sadly can't speak French;

Instead, I'll eat this raisin bread

Je mange, donc je suis wench.

Irach

I wish that I could sprachen Deutsch

And read Immanuel Kant

Es wäre gut, and would bear fruit

And like Hitler I would rant

Я не говорю по-русски - that's 'ya nye gavaryou pa russkie' (I don't speak russian)

And have never wanted to

Except when calling up a Huskie

For a bit of how-de-do

I wish I were an isobar

Behind Susan Powell's back

gil

I'd pluck a string on my guitar

Then give her bum a whack

irach

I wish I were a bandicoot

Irouléguy

(a bonzer Aussie mammal)

I'd live inside a handy boot

Juxtapose

And coat it with enamel moving along...

I wish I were a roundabout

In scenic Swindon Town

I'd be adorned with traffic lights

And make the drivers frown

irach

I wish I'd find a dodo bird

And teach it how to fly

Alas, such thoughts are quite absurd

Can't find one -- wonder why?

I wish I were a traffic cop

I'd stand right in the road

Gesticulating wildly at

Your girlfriend's outsize load

I wish I were a toothbrush

And you were my false teeth

I'd brush up against you gently

Irouléguy

In Morningside or Leith

I have no need for silicone

penelope

I'm all up-front, you see