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Pea and Honey Recipes
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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.
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He'd stab me in the tits
I wish I were a telephone
With numbers on my face
And when somebody rang me
I'd clang the bells within my base

Sexual Intercourse tailed off
In nineteen ninety-three
(which was much too soon for me)
Between the birth of my second son
And my vasectomy.
- ...and now, back to our usual program...
If I were Ozymandias
I wouldn't make such boasts
I'd beware of global warming
And disappearing coasts
I wish I were a laser beam
Coherent, thin and straight
Would I be red or I be green?
Such answers I await. ... that's got shot of that one. Now for another ...
I wish so much I'm sure to die
Without acheiving many
Yet, even if just one came true
You might all call me 'Jenny'
A simple way to make new friends
And get out of the house
Is, sign up with the RAF
And fly with Mighty Mouse
I love to wear tiaras
They're dear; I make my own
I also knit my own ball gowns
Plus my wigs are home-sewn
My feet are gently melting
So I'm two inches shorter
Perhaps I should have cooled them
In buckets full of water
I wish I had some sweetcorn
But I just can't think why
Perhaps I like the texture
I'll tell you by-and-by
I wish I was a mermaid
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