mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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I wish I were a hailstone

I'd bounce off someone's head

And if I had grown large enough

I might kill them stone dead

I wish I were a stormcloud

All dark and full of thunder

My voice would roar for miles around

From Up Here to Down Under.

May I interject and say how much I've enjoyed the last 6 (yes, six) verses? Yes? Thank you! Now, onwards and upwards...

I wish I'd won the Lotto

I'd take it all in cash

I'd go out and get blotto

then dine on pie and mash

I wish I were a drawbridge

Portcullis, Mott or Bailey

I'd do my bit to ward the foe

Right off. I'd do it daily.

I wish I were an Orchid

So delicate and rare

I'd hide in some obscure locale

And quietly flaunt my ware

I wish I had more fingers

And just one extra thumb

Another arm or two would help

But not another bum.

If all the world were chocolate

And all the seas were jam

The sun would surely melt it all

And bake into a flan.

If I was mighty Caesar

I'd conquer all the Brits

But then I'd tick off Brutus

He'd stab me in the tits

I wish I were a telephone

With numbers on my face

And when somebody rang me

I'd clang the bells within my base

Sexual Intercourse tailed off
In nineteen ninety-three
(which was much too soon for me)
Between the birth of my second son
And my vasectomy.
- ...and now, back to our usual program...

If I were Ozymandias

I wouldn't make such boasts

I'd beware of global warming

And disappearing coasts

I wish I were a laser beam

Coherent, thin and straight

Would I be red or I be green?

Such answers I await. ... that's got shot of that one. Now for another ...

I wish so much I'm sure to die

Without acheiving many

Yet, even if just one came true

You might all call me 'Jenny'

A simple way to make new friends

And get out of the house

Is, sign up with the RAF

And fly with Mighty Mouse

I love to wear tiaras

They're dear; I make my own

I also knit my own ball gowns

Plus my wigs are home-sewn

My feet are gently melting

So I'm two inches shorter

Perhaps I should have cooled them

In buckets full of water

I wish I had some sweetcorn

But I just can't think why

Perhaps I like the texture

I'll tell you by-and-by

I wish I was a mermaid

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