mc5 - Pea and Honey Recipes

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Pea and Honey Recipes

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I Eat My Peas With Honey
And tales of derring-do.
Four lines, they can be rhyming
(That's Glow Worms to me and you).
Ending line is as usual.

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In 2021?

Will we be extinct by then?

Or have lots of fun?

I have a brand-new T-shirt

Radox The Green

With holes slashed here and there

It's the brand new style

And they call it "evening wear".

Whilst visiting old stamping grounds

They all said "Who is this?"

"He's never paid for any rounds"

"He always takes the piss"

What I want for Christmas

Cannot be bought online

The cost of postage on its own

My PayPal would decline

The reindeer is a puzzling beast

With such a red, red, nose

And its nocturnal flights may be

With Santa, I suppose

A monkey with a blue, blue arse

Has one thing on its mind

Lifting lions to the sky

Is not it, you will find

I think this form may have potential.

A tapir with a long, long nose

Sniffs the mountain air

While Delphic oracles propose

He smells a grizzly bear.

The narwhal with its long long tooth

Does the dentist fear

For if it should be taken out

Its narwhal friends may jeer not great, but play seemed to have stalled

The rhino with its mighty horn Shuddup at the back

Stands out among the crowd

And those that would the rhino scorn

– Viagra does them proud

We haven't seen a bird all year

Nor wildcat, pig or mole

The ’pocalypse is surely here

Each horseman played his role

I'm glad I'm not a binbag (Chalky) V good - bit of class.

Stuffed in a smelly bin

I'd rather be a pin tag (Rosie) thank you!

Despite the state I'm in.

I wish I were in Georgia

It's always on my mind

Buddy, can you find a vote?

I'll pay you back in kind.

My people do not like me

My servants even less

My family have disowned me

Hi, I'm Andrew. Did you guess?

I've only thirteen minifridges

To keep my lipstick in True, apparently

And as for cold cream just don't ask

Just warn your next-of-kin

The shortage of new jamjars

Stops me from making jam

And that is not the only thing

I do as little as I can

My colleagues do not like me An intermittent theme, although fictitious

Radox The Green

I wonder why that is?

Maybe they are envious

That what is mine is his

My colleagues all adore me! I'm sure this must be true

I'm the apple of their eye

But when I go bananas

I know that it's a lie

My teachers say I'm awesome

But little do they know

I’m really just as boresome

As Barry Manilow

They said her name was Lola Going darn the Copa Cobana innit

The hottest in Havana

Wears corsets and a bowler

In a scintillating manner

My Quiz Group do not like me

Radox The Green

I am the Question Master

My questions are impossible

Why don't they give up faster?

I know all the answers

The Examiner, that's me

With every paper I find fault

Which indeed fills me with glee

I wish I was a robot

Made of brass and cogs and wheels

You're made of atoms I could use

Depending how I feels

I roll across the battlefield

For I am a big cheese

The bruised and bloodied cattle yield

As I go where I please.

Hidden text

Not sure if there was a subtle reference in your line, Chalky, but it was excellent.

I wish I were a Roquefort

That stank of foul corruption

I'd spread my self upon your bread

And cause gaseous eruption.

If all the world was brave and new

And you were by my side

I think I'd might run away

Or think of suicide Invoking dark mode

Why shouldn't we reincarnate?

Recycling's all the rage!

But do not re-invent the wheel

We're not on the same page

I wish I was a satellite

And round the world I'd go

I might be known to go astray

Isaac Newton'd know.

Just one banana toastie

Then I'll have my lunch

A sausage with a roastie

Deep fried to make it crunch.

I should have done some gardening

My roses are all brown

My runner beans are hardening

And the weevils are in town

For just a million dollars

My car is up for sale

It wears a clerical collar

And runs on home-brewed ale

I closed my eyes and saw the light

And knew that death was near

He carried thirty-seven scythes

But I'm old, and have no fear.

I've eaten chicken nuggets

Hidden text

That car sounds fun, but would home brewed ale be cheaper than gasoline . . er petrol . . .

I hope they don't react

But I'll just take some precautions

I'll purge after the fact. euuuwww. Sorry.

I sing a song of sixpence

I don't have much to spend

But my birdie pie's a whopper

Some money, could you lend?

Simple Simon met a pie man Continuing the theme

Coming through the rye

Simon said "Give me your pies now"

And all he said was "Why?"

If I were Jack and you were Jill

And we were all alone

We'd not waste time with hills and pails

We'd be each on our smartphone .

A tuffet-seated missy

Was tickled by a spider

She pilled her why upon the ground

But it should have gone inside her.

Hidden text

(KS) Did you mean whey?

A little laddie dressed in blue

Slept under a pile of hay

Hidden text

[Rosie] Yes, whey and also spilled. My laptop likes to make my cursor jump all over - can hardly wait to get my new one.

While livestock ran alas amok

That night 'twas hell to pay.

The Duke of York was very grand

Ten grand in his charge

He marched them to the summit, and

Down then, by and large

A dragon went into his cave

To lay on piles of gold

All that glister, what a rave (Softers) Brilliantly prosaic

But soon its bum turned cold

An egg is such a curious thing

Bash it and it cracks

But keep it warm for many days

And you might see it hatch.

The owl said to the pussy cat

Why is your tail so long?

This pick-up line was met with a

Sling your hook - begone!

A man who came from Timbuktu

Arrived in Samarkand

And asked to use the nearest loo

When things got out of hand

I wish I were a painter (Chalky) Disgraceful

Then your house I'd decorate

I'd paint it all in tangerine

And display it at the Tate.

I've got a huge desire

For a gender change

In order to inspire

A greater thespian range.

Now look what you've done Last one v good esp pen. Ardderchog. Pum seren etc etc

There's no jelly in the jar

You've eaten all my homemade jam

And left the fridge ajar.

You ate the peanut butter

With sardines spread on toast

You're just a greedy nutter

And you've failed as a host.

It's June, and light abounds Sorry, Dujon

Tbe fireflies have come.

Hark! What are those sounds!

The firefly's burning bum

The sedge has withered from the lake

And no bird comes to make his song

And no bird comes to sing Hidden text
better fits the glow-worm metre

That beauteous woman was a fake!

Radox The Green

(Knight's daze is misleading.)

With bluer skies and lengthening days

It's time to set the heath ablaze

A roaring fire is just the thing

To make the roasting pigeons sing - AABB silliness

I long to be a glow worm

A glow worm's never bored

A butt that shines is all they need

To get themselves adored.

I yearn to be a clerihew

But cannot break the mould

Boris Johnson is my name.

Same old, same old, same old.

Soon it'll be midsummer

The pollen count sky-high

'Cos allergy's a bummer (KagS) So it's you, is it

I often question why

I wish I were an epic

Radox The Green

But I never learned to ep

So I'll stay among the shadows

And do so step-by-step

I wish I had a genie

In a lamp of molten brass

With a gently glowing yellow light pls pls pls...

That shines out of his arse. What you had in mind, pen?

[Raak] Yes, and thank you - but it wasn't just me. You could see the other contributors were all building up to it...
I wish that it were pay day It is actually, but that just means I can afford the poetic license to imagine that it's not

Then for a while I will feel flush

I'll have a splendid gay day

And top up my fund labelled "slush".

The ration is one verse per week

Or that's what it would seem

Such stinginess deserves a tweak

If we aspire to meme

Rationing poems ought to be a crime

As woeful scansion is

Equally, a clunky rhyme

Isn't quite the biz

Such clunkiness in public prose

Is common as a loaf of bread

So let us roundly condemn those

Whose rhymes have no street cred

Dogs are funny creatures

Although they're none too bright

Their sweet appealing features

Yes, but they smell and bark all night

I hope to take a holiday

In far-off Timbuktoo

I hope they've got an airport

And a ladies' loo

I've booked a short vacation

To somewhere where it's dry

Because my medication

Tends to make me high

Radox The Green

Obligatory rhyming

Is really not so hard

But sometimes it just takes a lot

... All right, Software—you're barred!

Hidden text

Not really. :)

I try to make it ~~simple~~ easy

'Cos we're all pretty dim

Our IQ rating is the pits

At least it's more than HIM.

I wish I were a laser beam

At least I'd have some focus

My photons in a single team

Marking out my locus.

Hidden text

And don’t complain about the pronunciation.

A laser beam of sheerly, starkly, unstoppable energy carving an unbridgeable chasm between the previous glow-worm and the following one

I'm glad I'm not anonymous

For then no one would know

That no one really knows me

So won't mourn me when I go

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