[GIII] Now that one is easy to decode...

I've never worked out an anagram of my name. But from the evidence given, I suspect the real name of "penelope" to be Justine, with Richard being her father's (surname eight letters: E,H,I,N,R,T,T,W in alphabetical order). Not sure about Chalky but she could well be a Kathryn (remaining surname letters A,D,E,O,P,T,V). Graham (surname from A,B,E,L,O,P,R,R,S,T,U, unless you've used a middle name as well) and Darren (surname, if this is to be believed, from A,D,I,R,Z,Z) may be using their real first names here. Not sure about Rosie, but s/he could be a Hugh (remaining surname letters D,E,O,R,S,T,U)...

Anybody got a good anagram for "Jonathan Ellis"?

Handedness: I'm right-handed in most things, but ambidextrous when piano-playing or trying to catch things one-handed. Can't throw or write left-handed. Feet are not so much ambidextrous as ambi-sinister (equally incompetent with both, when playing football), and I think I favour my left eye more than my right.

Pen: I believe you are right.
Chalky: Dunno.
G3: Dunno.
Darren: Not a clue.
Rosie: He. Sorta close.
You: the best I come up with is "Johann Ale List"....

[JLE] Using ag(), the best I can get is "jail tonal hens", "Jean halts lion", "jeans halt lion", "join Hell, Satan", "hasten, join all", "jeans into hall", and "shallot in Jean".

My name has four H's and 9 vowels vs. 17 consonants so it's practically impossible to get anything.

Darren's surname seems likely to be Izzard. I can see why it's a bugger to anagram. Penelope's is trickier- all those consonants. I'm going to go for 'Whittern', as the most likely of an unlikely bunch of alternatives ('Penelope Threwtin', anyone?) Graham is indeed, I think, using a middle name. After a long blind alley in which I was convinced his surname was either Butler, I'm now going with 'Graham Paul Roberts' If Rosie is indeed named Hugh, his surname might be 'Stroude'. But from Dr Q's comment, I suspect s/he isn't. Maybe by 'sorta', Dr Q was hinting that the surname is Hugh, or more likely Hughes. But that leaves a pretty odd bunch of letters to make a first name out of- is there such a first name as 'Tudor'? Finally, I don't think Chalky's name is Kathryn, since we have the additional clue that spelt backwards it looks Russian. I therefore suggest she is that well-known Muscovite 'Yhtak Tropnevad', otherwise known as Kathy Davenport.

Ahem. Either Butler or Porter. Not just 'either of these two butlers'.

Jonathan Ellis? Hmmm... how about 'Jeans Hit Noll', 'Ah Jell in Snot', 'Halt Sloe Jinn', 'All Hens Joint'or even 'Anal Hens I Jolt'? I could go on, but I won't - I'll just point you here.

by 'here, I meant - http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/index.html

[Prof Plum] Smartarse. And have you Googled me too?

Well, Prof, it's not that hard to deduce my name as I already gave it away in Orange some time ago!!! My anagram software of choice is Anagram Genius which is absolutely superb. They also make Crossword Maestro which solves cryptic crossword clues. (And no, I didn't use it to solve Wol's, in case you're wondering!)

I think I'll adopt "Join Hell, Satan" as my Official Anagram ;-)

[Darren] I'm flattered you thought it might be necessary! Oh, and if anyone's interested, I'm ADDIIIKLLNVW. But there's a clue somewhere in the archives.

[Prof Plum] Try the old PantsMC Profiles.

[Rosie] Thanks for the clarification - I've only ever heard the word and never read it. I was going to check but became sidetracked and then forgot. Interesting that your right hand is the stronger even though you are basically left handed. My wife and son are both a bit of each. The son writes left handedly but does many right handed movements - including eating. My wife on the other hand (sorry!) eats back to front but writes with her right hand - perhaps as a result of the inconsiderate influence of school teachers in days of yore.

Incidentally, Rosie, your name could be altered to 'Hough duster' which, I suppose, would indicate that you may be a butcher's assistant?

My name actually is Breadmaster. You can imagine the ribbing I got at school.

(Prof Plum) 5 out of 5 for your final guess. Unfortunately, a further anagram is "oh, huge turds". (The best type, in my experience). (Dr Q) Can't figure out your surname, even if I've got your first name right. Is it British-ish?

[Rosie] No, Dad's side is German.

[BM] Were you baked? :)

I BET you can't guess my name. Anagram is 'I am a ferret penn'. I'll check in and see how you're getting on ;)

[Bm] Is that why your publisher insisted on "Hill" as a pseudonym?

Ian Prefenmater?

[Angus] How about "Anne-Marie Petfer" or "Ferna P. Tremaine" or "Farmer Pete Nani" or "Martin A. Penfree" or "Nate F. Repairmen"?

[Angus] Ian Peter Freman?

CMd; dCM; dMC; MdC; McD. Oh. You mean real names...

Hm. McD kind of suits you, CdM.

[Raak] That's right, the unimaginative fools.

So they called you Breadmaster Hill then?

There ought to be a prize if anyone managed to get my name out of "OUI A MANGLED WIG".

Well, Blaine's out now, so hopefully I'll make some dosh on celebdaq. I found it odd, though, that he sounded rather like Jack Nicholson after he got out! Also, I'm sure that some cockney shouted something like "You're a wanker!" in the background as he was being released.

[Lotus] Yes, but then you *do* descend from several improbably mixed nationalities ;-)

Who am I? Arty st d.?
S. Mith (a wry toad)?
Martha (DIY swot)?
__tim__ (a sad worthy)
Thos (am a dry wit)?
Matt (why so arid?)?
Or Watty? ("Hm" said
A Tay wordsmith,
"What a dim story.")

LotUS] Nice to meet you Luigi Gawedoman.

I'd just like to report a conversation that just happened right infront of my very eyes in my office:

Scene: Manager is talking to new resource who has arrived in Paris and who had his cellphone stolen on his first day here.

Manager: So what did you think of your "welcome" to Paris?
Employee: Yes, I went walking at the weekend.
Manager: No. I mean your "welcome" to Paris.
Employee: Oh! Thank you.
Manager: Nevermind.

[JLE] Well, yes, that's true. But my name is more or less entirely 'Asian' with an Arabic/Muslim first name and a Sinhalese surname.
[BtD] Not even close but it's a great idea for a pseudonym!

[Chalky] You know you were asking whether we had a make-up artist. Well, we still don't and only just over a week to go, so if you have any leads now's the time to mention them. :-)

I saw some Sinhalese writing a while back, it had a really lovely look, all circles and spirals. That observation isn't really relevant to anything, it's just LotUS's comment reminded me of it.

Yes it is very beautiful - learn about it here.

[Tuj, BtD & anyone else who's interested] We had a truly splendid time at the Theatre Royal Winchester last night. I won't spoil anything by talking about either the guest or the content - [the shows go out on the 17 & 24 Nov as the first two of the series] - but I'll be interested to hear how they edit at least 2 and a half hours of quality stuff into neat half hour slots. It's a small theatre - perfect for comedy. On several occasions the tears really were rolling down my cheeks. Humph was magnificent [doesn't he work hard?] and we even managed to 'mingle with the stars' after the recording.
[Tuj] re. your comments in AVMA - I managed to get tickets because penelope, back in the summer, on receipt of the BBC4 online newsletter [or suchlike], posted in MCiOS the 3 venues and dates for this series. I'm only half an hour's drive from Winchester so I rang the theatre - all tickets were sold within 2 hrs. We were lucky.

So unfair... My partner saw it live ten years ago, so my chances of going to see it are slim I feel. Back to the anagrams, would it help you to guess if I told you I'm not male?

You can get some quite rude anagrams from my real name.

Michael!?

[Angus Prune] Do you have a long surname?

Angus] Marie Fen-Patern?

Sorry Boolbar X-posted.

Got it. Boolbar is Native American - Michael Elk Bear Dawn.

[Chalky] Having seen it in Bournemouth (Pavilion Theatre, Mon 30th Oct, 2000, 7:30pm, as my treasured ticket tells me - and Sandi Toksvig laughter rings in my ears yet) not too long ago, my memory should have recalled you need to be pretty sharp to get'em. Never mind.

and so is no-one going to identify my earlier anagrammatical impersonation?

Projoy?

All anagrams of Timothy Saward - damned clever :-)

[Cdm] that is so clever

Projoy - could you email me? (crossposted from Orange, for which I apologise)

[CdM] And what's more, I puzzled over them for ages yesterday. I'm also completely rubbish at Countdown too. [Dunx] Email received and replied to.

[Ibid] So close!

...meet David Willink.

[MF] Correcto! - just the wrong order

CdM] That was brilliant.
Boolbar] Nice to meet you Blake Micheal Andrew.

...is my favourite anagram of my (full) real name.

Could I just repeat my request for the monthly music supplement that came in last Sundays Observer? *waves money*

[FG] Mick God-Adorer H. Warren? Sounds like a tele-evangelist. :o)

...would be longish. I wonder if I can come up with one.
[FG] Ow! Order keg, mr Arachnid!

[Boolbar] I think I can get a copy from a friend this evening. Where do I send it again?

[Chalky] Ooooh! That would be splendid! email above. expenses paid etc.

[Boolbar] Am wondering if I translated your email address correctly. If so, there should be one waiting for you.

[Chalky] Yes, you are nestling between the nice African chappy who wants to share his fortune with me and the breast enlargement emails.

I'm feeling kinda jealous of all the people with glib anagrams, like Fat German.

[Néa] The short form of your name yields "Lager liken manna"...whatever that means. I'm currently feeding your full name (assuming it really *is* what you put on your webpage :) into my anagram generator...which is unfortunately on a SparcClassic 50MHz box....