[BtD] Presumably the publican didn't like the look of their face?

[BtD] You're a Tim Vine fan, aren't you?

I said to the newsagent, "I'd like to read a magazine on the supernatural, please."
Newsagent: Fortean Times?
Me: No, just once.

[MF] In all honesty - I don't know who Tim Vine is - but if you think he'd make me laugh...

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...

Q: what do you call a communist volleyball player?
A: a red setter.

[Lib] That one just sticks in my mind.

Tim Vine writes a lot of this kind of one-liner. Most of the gags on this page are by him, esp. the ones lower down. He's a regular on ITV's The Sketch Show, which is starting next week I think. He's also on tour this year.