A skeleton walks up to a bar and orders a pint . . . and a mop.

I believe the joke you meant to put there was
What do you call a spider with no legs?
a raisin!

I was in a Chinese restaurant and I said "Waiter! This fish is rubbery!", and the waiter went "Ah, thank you velly much sir"

[pen] You've found my weak point. I do get confused with body parts! And this is rather worrying to the general public at large. Its a bit of a shame that there's no the 'ask the audience' moment at graduation ceremonies that there is at church weddings. I can just see the moment now, about to recieve my degree certificate and someone pipes up from the audience "No, don't let her be a doctor, she doesn't know the difference between legs and wings, and once she forgot what the heart was called (and refered to it as the big muscle that pumps blood round the body!)". Then they'd refuse to give me the certificate and I'd be pubically humiliated! Stockport (Stepping hill hosptial) is the place to avoid!

[Lib] Stockport? No problem. I'm well away from there. Once you've got some practice in, I daresay you'll be very good, but thankfully I'm feeling very well at the moment, living here in the south east! And as for your nightmare scenario... several years after I graduated I had a nightmare in which I found out I hadn't actually graduated at all - I failed the maths module because the lecturer had lost my coursework. *shudders*