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The Banter Page
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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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Checking in from Mum and Dad's
Wireless networks are great! Pleased to inform that everything seems fine on the server front. Will check with Andy when I next see him. Trust everyone's Christmas was good (mine was) and that the impending calendar-related novelty is as fun.
filling The Gap
Hang the expense, I'll put the central heating on now.
hny
*drops lump of coal*
[Rab] Ouch!
you couldn't make it up
News story from the Grimsby Evening Telegraph last week begins... 'A Man and a chinchilla were rescued by firefighters after a chip pan caught fire.' I'd say that's better than a kitten up a tree.
(pen) A fireman I know says that more than half his work is not involved with actual fires and they are trained in many other forms of rescue.
[Rosie] As a local news reporter, a long, long time ago, I wrote a report of a chip pan fire which was reported at at 7.30am... deep fried Weetabix, anyone? And I also wrote a story during the run-up to xmas of a brussels sprout harvester catching fire in the field. The pickers extinguished it using wet leaves before the arrival of the fire brigade. I headlined the story: "Sprouts Come in From Field Ready-Cooked!" and it made the front page of my local rag :o)
What's a comma or two between friends?
Version 1

Dear Mother,

In law, there is nothing to make me say thank you, but the quality of your gifts compels me at least to write to tell you how I feel. Thank you so much for the presents! I was expecting nothing more than a token yet, again, you have exceeded even your own incredible standards.

It was a shame you had to stay here for such a short time. I thought I might have coped, but it was unbearable seeing you leave. The relief was immense when I heard we might see you again soon. I wanted to end it all by saying goodbye now. I hope I will not have to say it to you again for a long time. If you have the opportunity to spend Christmas elsewhere next year, please do not.

Much love Matthew

Version 2

Dear Mother-in-Law,

There is nothing to make me say thank you, but the quality of your gifts compels me at least to write to tell you how I feel. Thank you? So much for the presents I was expecting. Nothing more than a token, yet again! You have exceeded even your own incredible standards.

It was a shame you had to stay here. For such a short time, I thought I might have coped, but it was unbearable. Seeing you leave, the relief was immense. When I heard we might see you again soon, I wanted to end it all. By saying goodbye now, I hope I will not have to say it to you again for a long time. If you have the opportunity to spend Christmas elsewhere next year, please do.

Not much love
Matthew

[Kim] Your BBC website plagiarising secret is safe with me :o)
Qualidy control
In the light of recent comments over at Orange, previewing of moves is now mandatory in the Limericks game. (And, for this move only, on this game so I can check it works). Are there any others that might benefit from a similar treatment?
Testing Fred
That'll teach me to read rab's posts properly.
The Fine Art of Limericks
I would be delighted to see a return to quality limericks in which the following maxim were applied by all: "If you can't think of a line that scans, rhymes and fits the context, let someone else write that line."
The Limerick is the only form of poetry I really enjoy, so I'm delighted that some effort is going into restoring their former greatness.
(Phil) Agree absolutely. "If you cant't say it nicely, don't say it at all. Your turn will come."
And if you can't spell can't you're pissed.
Speling
I managed to misspell a two-letter word once. And I was stone cold sober at the time. It wasn't a complicated two-letter word either. It was 'do'.
rab's QC
I am pleased by the mandatory preview. When I first came across 5 (although I still feel like a neophyte), the limericks being posted were on average outstanding. Being pedantic is no fun, but the general high standards made me try harder.
We probably should have mandatory preview on all games. I was thinking that after putting the unwanted hr into Regurgitated Cheddars.
Hmm.. Not sure about mandatory preview on chat games, or things like AVMA. But cheddars is certainly one that could benefit, as could poetry games more generally. What do people think?
I think the more you use a mandatory preview, the less notice people will take of it. At the moment, limericks is marked out as special, which I think is probably right.
Previews
(Projoy) This is probably true, but at least there's a chance one will notice an error. I'd be in favour of a mandatory preview, and I nearly always preview anyway. It's little bother.
Are you really really REALLY sure?
Well, clearly we should then have mandatory preview on every game, and double preview on limericks. In fact, why stop there? The number of previews in a given game should be a parameter to be set at the beginning, based on the importance of avoiding error.
Should we even allow anything beyond preview at all?
(Darren) Indeed. Should we shut the whole thing down on Health and Safety grounds?
Maybe I should move over to a probabilistic model: you have a single button which, when clicked, may or may not post the move to the server....
[rab] Good idea. Maybe there could also be a low probability of it picking a random move with no relation to the one you actually intended to place, too.
Why not replace the players with bots, who post moves from a list of past greats? Then it would be very entertaining to read, and a lot less trouble to contribute to.
"replace players with bots"?
And will players without posteriors be allowed to stay? *grabs coat and runs*
Or we could extend the preview facility - pressing the preview button would e-mail the suggested move to all other players, who would then vote on whether or not to allow it.
Yes, and vote on whether the player should be permanently banned or not because of their move.
... until eventually, there will be just the one player left who will descend into a preview hell of their own making.

Joking apart (who says we're joking? Ed.) how about a small variation called, say, Second Post - where we have to post TWO lines at a time. So you'd either cop the first two lines, the second two, the last and first, the second and third or the fourth and fifth. Might make for more cohesion. Or lunacy.
Two by two
That sounds fun.
2nd post
(Chalky) Lines that rhyme should not be permitted as a combination, as I have pointed to someone out in Another Place. Makes it too easy. But other combinations might work.
The two posts must also not be allowed to share any letters.
[Rosie] Why not include lines that rhyme? Just makes it a different sort of challenge. In any case, you'd have to sometimes as lims are 5 lines long, so play would go 1+2 / 3+4 / 5+1 / 2+3 / 4+5.
[Rosie] Two lines that rhyme? An absolute necessity for some I'd say. That's why I suggested it. After all, aren't we supposed to be upping the quality?
again ... it will give those fly-in-and-fly-out-and-post-any-old-bollocks merchants [yup - that includes me!] a reason to stop and think.
[Chalks] Surely that's "fly-in-and-post-any-old-bollocks-and-fly-out"? ;)
[re: Lims] If you don't want to let one player enter 2 rhyming lines so frequently, why not alternate between 1 line and 2 (ie 1 / 2+3 / 4 / 5+1 / 2 / 3+4 / 5 / 1+2 / 3 / 4+5)? Maybe we could fill the vacant game spot with experiments along these lines - try some different number of line postings, maybe even posting by a number of words at a time, or even just slipping into Limacres if the going gets tough?
I have taken the liberty of opening an experimental game. The rubric doesn't say that it has to be two lines, so I guess it could sometimes be one, sometimes maybe even three or above if there seems a good enough reason. Should be interesting to compare the results of this lim game with the others, on the same sort of principle as Blockbusters (are five heads really better than three?!)
double top
Cracking finish to the World Darts Final.... I can't believe I just watched it all, hehehe! I wish I'd had a bet on him at 100/1...
Tannoy
Would whoever just started the Round Robin thing please let us know how it's supposed to proceed.
I didn't do it...
It wasn't me, but it looks like an example of the game formerly known as Film and Crescent Styles
Guilty as charged
Sorry - a long time away has caused me to forget my logic - and manners. Twas I that started the round robin letter. I'll do my best to set the thing rolling but just in case it proves unpopular, please consign it to MC heaven. By the way - I like the new style Rab!
*waves hello to Bob the dog*
[rab] Any chance of a compulsory Preview in the new Multiple Limericks game?
Chancer
[Bob] Hello again.

[Chalky] In the words of Jim Hacker (or it could have been Sir Humphery) your wish is my cooperation.

Chalky] Shouldn't that be two obligatory Previews?
*thanks rab*
Iroule] aaaarghhh!
[rab] Hello again too!
[Chalky] *waves back*.
My 10 year old daughter has obtained a copy of Vic Reeves Big Night Out on DVD. This morning I was presented with a cocktail stick with a tiny bag on the end and a tab bearing the message "What's on the end of the stick, Vic?". What was on the end of the stick? The tip of a carrot! I like it.
I had no idea that was out on DVD. Is it the full set?
Darren] The full set of the first two series on Channel 4 - and it is currently on special offer in HMV. If like I could (highlight) copy them for you...

And that was my idea.
Bob the dog
(avoiding over capitalising) Hello!
[Bob]
Hidden textThanks, but if you did, you wouldn't know where to send them, though, would you?
[Darren]
Hidden textEmail me an address. james at nettlesoupdotcodotuk.
[Bob, Darren] That's how we prefer to do things round here.
[rab]
Hidden textneat
rab] HTML ignoramus alert! How do you do that?
[rab]Language!
It is true!
Hidden textWhen your stance is submitted, a thousand fairies raise themselves from a deep slumber and hide your secrets away until brushed upon by passers by.

[Tuj]
Hidden textHello!
Good day
Some good news, at long last... My girlfriend, having finally completed her PhD, moved up to Edinburgh to be closer to me (ahhhh) without a job and very worried about a miserable period of unemployment soaking up what little savings one has after being a student for six years. Having traipsed around Edinburgh in order to visit every company working in her area to drop off her CV, one of them called her back and invited her in yesterday for a "bit of a chat". After an hour-long interview (hmmm, nice "chat") they offered her a permanent job on the spot. She wasn't even asked to leave the room for the panel to discuss it. Now that's what I call a result.
*is very happy for rab and rabfriend*
new jobbers
Wow... good news rab. Talking of new jobbers, we're about to interview the 4th candidate for the open position here at Cock&Bull PR. Out of the three we've interviewed so far, I'd offer it to two of them. We'll see what today's is like.
And I got a new red car today *grins*
[rab] Congratulations! (Through enviously gritted teeth...)
I'm still resolutely fixed-term, unfortunately. However since "rabfriend" has today received a counter-offer from a rival firm, I think I can look forward to a future as a kept man...
pfffft
[rab] tut tut! It means learning to keep house, y'know...
little buglet
[rab] This may or may not be relevant, but I've noticed that a few of the games, when you load their full form, tend to slip out of their table after a certain number of moves. This is under IE, of course. e.g. The Furcation Game.
[Projoy] Do you mean it runs over the right-hand side?
round robin
Just to let all know - I've started posting some ideas re the Rugby Pilg on the Orange pilg page. For anyone new to all this - the Rugby Pilg is (becoming) an annual event where as many players of these bizzare games as possible congregate at a superb venue at a specially negotiated low price to play silly games live. This year May 27 - all welcome!
[rab] No. The table simply stops after a certain amount of time, and all the remaining text appears underneath it as regular text. I haven't actually looked at the source for more detail than that yet.
There doesn't appear to be anything in the HTML source that does it, AFAICS.
[Projoy] It's possible there's a mismatched quote. But I suspect it's one of IE's idiosyncrasies.
tag, not quote.
It doesn't appear to affect all games in the same way, if that helps. Come to that, it doesn't affect my enjoyment of the affected games, if that helps.
Boris is standing for Rector of Edinburgh Uni. Should I vote for him?
[rab] Don't do it - he won't appreciate that it was an ironic gesture.
Oh, vote Boris, he's harmless. And in case it hadn't been realised I'm back, for the moment. How is everyone?
[nights] Hello again!
[rab] Do you think Boris will bother to turn up when needed?
I'd go for John Pilger myself.
*waves from Cambridge*
I've got a whole two-bedroomed house to myself. It's beautifully quiet. And either some rich college, or maybe the taxpayer, is paying for the heating. Woo.
toasty boasty
Good for you, rab. I dont have my central heating on any more, s'too 'xpensive.
Smash Hits is closing down, boo-hoo!
[Smash Hits] I thought it already had. Shows I'm not a 'youth' anymore.
Rah hey
It's been a long time since I participatoried in a good game of MC....or any game of MC for that matter. I recognise some of the names from years gone by (when I was called 'Pave'). Love, death, marriage and pregnancy (not me - the wife) have kept me from the game, but I'm older, wiser and back...apart from the wiser bit.
That name rings a bell...
[Pave] How goes the equestrian centre?
fugging admin
I'm still at work at 6.20pm on a Friday night. I have a backlog of 80 press releases to write (I'm mid-campaign) and I've spent the whole day doing bloody admin. *gnashes teeth* Saves me spending money, I suppose, which is just as well, as someone has nicked it all out of my bank account anyway.
(Mine the Gap was a daft name anyway!)
[Projoy] Still a dream! The fiancée is now the wife (with mini-pave on the way. Still, when I win the Euro-millions.....
Euro Millions? Does that mean NZ didn't happen either?
Old Zealand
Ah, forget I asked that. Just checked the chat in Another Place.
Dreams
The world likes nothing better than the taste of chewed up dreams! You never fail if you never give up. The world loves a fighter. And all that tosh that makes you feel better when you aren't where you want to be yet....!
Hello!
Ee, lad, 'aven't seen you since the days of t' YAMCS. Welcome back to the Morniverse :)
Tuj!!! I think I owe you an apology...Were we in a championship game when I vanished? Was it YAMCS that had the play window to the bottom right, and games/players to the right?
There was some sort of tournament going on when YAMCS met its maker, though I can't recall if I was playing you at the time... The main thing I remember about the YAMCS layout was the big list of games down the left hand side. And it was a big list - 30 game slots!?
Yup, I recall once having a name on every game. Proud day. I need to get out more don't I....
If you do then I do by extension ;)
Tuj
We'll have to go head to head in the Lockisseum...although I can see you are still a formidable player, with new tricks no doubt.
Something like that ;) Mind you, my Lockisseum match with Darren hasn't exactly been all grace and flair!
Play softly and carry a railway sleeper?
Jeeeepers Tuj
That challenge game with Darren is pushing all new boundaries! I was lost by move yellow!
You know, spending the day with 19 13-year-olds from Ontario has made me somewhat tired. Odd that.
Not as tired as had it been 13 19-year-olds.
At least then they would have made more sense. The whole experience left me feeling rather old.
If it's any consolation, that feeling just gets worse and worse the older you get. :)
Youth is wasted on the young.
...and wisdom is wasted on the old.
And wasps are waisted in the middle. (Sorry!)
Ah well - I'm enjoying the Lockisseum. I don't think it was around when I was last into MC (before the break). Tough game though.
[Projoy] Oh, thanks, that makes me feel better. At least they're going home today.
Server unavailable
Hello. My network provider seems to have lost their border router. While they have more than one route to the internet this component is common to them. No ETA on when they'll get it fixed.
Okay. Back as of a half hour ago. Pardon me for disturbing you.
Update
[Dan] Thanks for the update. And here's one of my own. I got engaged last night. It was a very pleasant, if emotional, experience. I can highly recommend it.
Wooo-hooooooooo!!!
[rab and rab-darling] Congratulations! Excellent news. :o)
[rab] Congratulatoryay!
[rab] Well done. Who to?
[rab] Good show!!!
rab] Congratulations!
[rab] W000T! Congratulations to the both of you! I'm gonna have to get my suit drycleaned now...
Chiming in
[rab] Congrats!
Thanks for the kind words. I shall pass them on to my lovely darling as she doesn't read any of the MC sites herself.
Rings 'n Things
[rab] It has been said that "I am." is the shortest possible sentence; "I do." can be the longest.
No, joking, my friend. All the very best to both of you.
"I got engaged" ?
You have much to learn - it's "We got engaged" now that you're engaged :-) Seriously, congrats !
[rab] Well done that man. Happy, contented and in Edinburgh. Life has little better to offer than that combination.
[rab] Congratulations!
[rab] Nice one ! xx
Yeah! Fab, rab!
rab has a girlfriend!
Congratulations!!
[Néa] Now, now. Don't confuse me, I've spent the whole weekend trying to work out the correct number of 'e's and accent placement in the word fiancée...
[rab] The word is "finance".
[Darren] financé surely?
Congrats
[Rab] Slightly slow off the mark, but all the very best to you and the future Mrs Rab.
[penelope] Now you mention it, since rab's finance is female, it should be financée.
If he's lucky, perhaps she is a financiée
[rab] Congrots.
As a French speaker, might I step in? As the word comes from French, I'm assuming that it follows French rules. Therefore Rab has a fiancée, whereas Rab himself is the fiancé, as French takes an extra 'e' to signify femininity. Of course, you might already know this, in which case my apologies. I'll keep my teaching to my job.
*gives nights a little three-legged wooden stool so the jokes no longer waft over his head*
[penelope] snnrk!!!:-)
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