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The Banter Page
help
If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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black humour
One should expect it really ... the inevitable round of e-mails following a major news story, in this case, Harold Shipman's suicide. This morning I received the one relating to the plans for a film of his life [starring De Niro] called 'The Old Dear Hunter'. Tasteless, maybe, but I have to confess I chuckled. Do only we Brits have a propensity for laughter in the face of appalling events?
No, there are people with this quality born all over the planet; it just seems that in the UK the concentration is substantially higher and/or less secretive about it. Perhaps UK society is more at home with, or based around, this tendency. After all, it's not so long ago ('help! Help! I'm being oppressed!') that we had little else but each others' misery to find amusing. Oh, and that is a superb pun.
Today
Bit quiet today. And moist, I note.
E-pilg
I'm in right now -- and as I'm not at work today, I won't have to leave at 5 PM EST. :)
Downtime
There will be downtime. I don't know how much, or when. I'm having my ADSL regraded from engineer-installed to wires-only, because Nildram are currently doing so for free. I'm using the opportunity to upgrade to 1mbps (downstream only, unfortunately). Whee!
nuttin' at all...
No-one has chatted here today at all, so I thought I'd make an inconsequential start. I'm having a tricky day - three awkward letters to write to clients trying to ditch us (that's only three out of about 100, so all is not lost yet) but we can't have that. Anyway, I'm obviously doing as much as I can to put off actually having to write the letters, so already today I have reported the malfunctioning traffic lights outside the office (three and a half minutes cycles??? I ask you! I had to wait through two changes of lights this morning before getting though - that's nearly seven minutes) made coffee for everyone, stared at the screeen for ages, and posted to a few games. And soon it will be time for lunch.
clients
Surely it is nmore effective to go and see them or to call them up on the phone. Why are they trying to ditch you ?
ditchiness
Long story - to do with the perceived value of advertising v. news press, Head Offices streamlining procedures without informing branches, and the fast turnover of staff in the moto trade which means that no sooner have you got one contact briefed and primed than he changes jobs and you have to start all over again, etc etc. And We would have been to see them but for the fact that I have only recently gained the extra member of staff which has relieved me of the pressure of doing two people's jobs. There was no way I could have taken enough time out of the office to visit this lot in the last quarter of last year while I was qwriting news for the other 97 clients. They're all in the North of england and Scotland.
CrM
I agree with st d. Call them. :-)
like I said...
[CdM](I nearly swore at you there)... you don't have to sit at my desk trying just to get put through to the people I have to talk to. Let's not talk about it any more - I've had enough for today.
getting through to people
pen] you obviously aren't doing it very well if they aren't coming to the phone to talk to you. I mean ...(joke joke joke joke joke joke joke) ;o)
getting the 'joke'
I'm pleased you pointed out it was a joke, because I wouldn't have spotted it otherwise. :op
Anyway, who's for pizza?
e-pilg
I was certain that I put a move in here - and I can't find it anywhere else..have we lost anything?
Marbles?
Well that goes without saying..
anything else?
Very strange feeling - I'm meeting someone this evening and was told to be at Mornington Crescent at 8. I wanted to say something like - "Direct from Paddington? I'm not sure that's allowed under the Walsh-Hemerington Allowance of 1932, at least with an unstacked podume," but I didn't.
more warnings
Just in case anyone on Celebdaq has any shares in Arnie, the Board have issued a statement to suspend his shares from midday on Thursday, 22nd January 2004, so sell any shares in him now.

The other sensational news for D class celeb watchers is the return od I'm a Celebrity Get me Out of Here. The line up being
John Lydon
Neil Ruddock
Alex Best
Kerry McFadden
Jordan
Mike Read
Lord Brocket
Peter Andre
Jenny Bond
Diane Modahl
I will admit even at this early stage, that my shares will be on my adolescent hero from the Sex Pistols, to become King of the Jungle.

Bliss.
How ignorant I am. Of the list above I recognise only Lydon, Jordon, Read and Peter Andre (Although I haven't a clue what or who he is).
Whoops.
Hungover :) And it seems there are those who think this site is a search engine. Odd.
Ask Jeeves
What is a Fairy Hammock??
which Mike?
Which Mike Read? Is it:
*sings*
Mike Read, Mike Read
275 and 285
Mike Read, Mike Read
National Radio 1!
or is it Mike Read of 'Runaround............ NOW!
*Drags head out of Seventies TV and Medium Wave radio back to the noughties and the fact that she *still* can't get a digital TV signal*
junglers
So who's Lord Brocket?
And .. Jenny Bond? The 'royaller than the royals' lady?
Also ... notice that all the first names have either 4 or 5 letters in them [apart from Jordan who's a whole country anyway]
[pen] You should be able to get a radio signal - why not use the dosh to buy a DAB radio?
It's yet another indication of how woeful TV has become these days. Anything with the word "celebrity" in the title, you know will be dire; furthermore, you know that it will push the word "celebrity" so far that it will lose all meaning. I mean, George Best's wife? Someone who reports on the royal family? And those are the ones I have vaguely heard of. Remember "Celebrity Wife Swap" with the bloke who cheated on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Neither does anyone else. I was on Zig Zag when I was 10. I'd probably qualify as a "celebrity" for one of these programmes.
john Lydon
I think it is a very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very sad thing indeed that he is appearing on that show. Very sad. I mean, really, what's the point anymore ? Why go on ?
unless.....
unless of course he just tells everyone to faaark orffffff and refuses to do anything at all. That might be quite entertaining.
effing offers
[st d] I think that's the idea. And frankly I hope it happens.
BTW, I'm having a slightly better afternoon today - my boss has just stopped riding his electric scooter around the office to serve me a cup of Earl Grey and a gingernut.
damn DAB
[Chalks] I've thought about it - but Digital TV was supposed to be an economy, because you can get digital radio through the TV. It was £60 to receive Digital TV + Digital Radio through the digibox, OR £70-odd for just digital radio through a DAB set.
Run Around
[pen] Apropos of Run Around, it struck me that the Iowa caucusses which have just been held were reminiscent of Run Around.
cor cussing
One might think the plural of caucus would be 'cauca' [what a corker!] or even 'caucii'. My Chambers English Dic is non-committal by suggesting that the etymology is dubious and it might be derived from John Smith's Algonkian word Cawcawaassough, an adviser. I'm sure someone over can shed more light .... ?
surreal spam
I got some spam - normal get-rich-quick rubbish, but the following was on the end of the mail..
I have no difficulty in starting or holding my bowel movement. Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions. `With a torch.' `Very deep,' said Arthur, `you should send that in to the "Reader's Digest". They've got a page for people like you.'"
S'not fair snorgs - you always get the most exciting spam :-)
Corkers
[Chalky] That's more or less the etymology I've heard as well, from no less eminent a source than Bill Bryson (Made In America). "caucii" seems an unlikely plural since "caucus" isn't of Latin origin... All the same though, the one thing I do know is that the real trick with spelling the plural of "caucus" is knowing when to stop.
the Latin theory
[Duncussessesesess] After the Caucus Club of Boston (in the 1760s), possibly from Medieval Latin caucus, drinking vessel. [Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.]
Caucii
Simple - the plural of caucus is caucuses. That's from the lexicon I keep here in the shack - The New Penguin E.D. - etym. 'probably of Algonquian origin'. Algonquians being of east coast American peoples; ergo - N.Y slang! ... ;-)
Why is it?
At 0500 hours I get a craving for chips with lots of vinegar? I'm the wrong genda to be pregnant. Maybe if I get a sex change the cravings will be justified????
DAB radio vv TV
Pen] The value of the set-top box has to be off-set against TV licence (going up to £121 in April). So cost of TV (£70) divided by life of TV (£10 + 7 years x £121) = £875 for 7 years viewing. I personally feel that it is not worth it. I have no TV, watch DVDs on my PC and get all my news/current affairs/entertainment from The World Service, R4, R6 & R7 on my DAB radio (£70). OK, so I miss out the quality stuff like I'm a Celeb, Emmerdale, Kilroy and The Bill, but I'll live :o).
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