Ah, it's heart warming to be greeted by friends both new and old alike. [Bob] Would you be the Bob of the Kensington 'the Dogs' who was splashed all over the society pages last year? [DrQ and Duj] I found Marie stood on the steps of the old Clubhouse scraping a living selling sacks (at least I thought that's what she said) and she must have been down on her luck poor girl because it seemed she had hardly a stitch to wear! I did indeed send her to procure the services of the great Mr Holmes but the last I heard he had employed a new housekeeper and had retired to bed. I fear he may be ill because that was two weeks ago and not a sound has been heard from him or Marie since! No news of Jeeves, I assumed he had been packed up with the other chattels of the club when everyone moved. I'll keep my ear to the ground.

wec] 'Fraid not. No I'm one of the Bromsgrove chapter. However, I did make a splash in the society pages. As a result, I had to spend the rest of the day outside.

Every time I look down the Home page I feel like an evil taking-over-type person! Just clarifying here that I don't do it on purpose...

[Anyone even remotely interested] Popped round the old place looking for any clue of Jeeves' whereabouts and heard an odd scratching sound. Turned out the old chap was asleep in the billiard room when you all locked up and he's been surviving on the contents of the belowstairs larder and discarded podumes ever since. He had planned to dig a tunnel to escape and the plan was well, advanced, he had just unupholstered a couple of the old wing chairs from the servant's lounge to make the top of the vaulting horse that he had fashioned from the Dom Perignon crates in the member's cellar when I broke in and tok him home. He was beside himself with glee and ached for news off 'his gentlemen' and I tol him that I had tracked some of them down at a swanky new club. He seemed utterly delighted and asked to come down in order to seek employment and to meet you all agan but I put him to work immediately, buffing up my favourite 'Crescent Jacket' and digging out my Lumpton Jr texts from the library so that I may fully immerse myself in play once more. It's for his own good. See you soon, must fly, he's preparing a sumptuous dish of Bernard's Turkey Drummers and Alphabites and I don't want to miss that.

May I suggest a game of "Christmas Cards you wish you'd never received"?

[gil] Hmmm... sounds interesting. Perhaps one could also pastiche those "newsy" letters that people insist on sending round this time of year.

Agh! My computer has flipped out again! It refuses to even start up now - I must complain to computer blokie as I think it was something he did.. (v. stressful, this..)

Newgame] How would Christmas cards work? Like postcards from Hell? That never seemed to take off.
Round robin game? Yes! Finish off previous sentence, start next sort of thing?
This year Mary and I decided to

[Bob] Really?

murder our parents, who had long been

All] Same time same place tonight?
Rab] Ah! I've not seen that one, it looks better than the last one on !York.
snorgle] blackmailing us with photographs they took of us on holiday when we were three. Fortunatly for my parents they had

[Btd}...thought of this, and had boobytrapped their...

sn] catflap with gelignite. I was most suprised, a little singed and completely failed to

..effect a surreptious entrance. Seconds after the blast..

(sounds like a player - shall we get it going?)

...Mother responding by getting...

Reverse the polarity! Divert all power to deflector! Issue 'date 1201190703.34' as root! Hopefully dialling the server's clock back an hour won't break MC5 too much...

...out her feather duster...
Or of course we could always do Good News / Bad News.

Tuj] coming to the Online cyber-pilg tonight on the MCiOS chat server? The dress code is Cowboys 'n' Injuns.

OK. It kinda worx.

[gil] It seems to have turned rather quickly into Random Prose, though.

I was grateful to be reminded, at about 6.50pm or so yesterday, of the fantastic potential of Censored Songbook (from the King and I - 'shall we *****, shall we *****, shall we *****?'). Any takers? Possibly only subtly different from the Pants Game but, for me, right at the other end of the comedy spectrum (ie funny).

[Wol] Yes indeed. I second that one.

I **** it.

I guess we could all give it a ***.

Is it just me or is a huge chunk of the 'net unavailable today?

[Wol] I think it's ******

Did you have a good time in the chatserver last night? I spared you a thought but was too busy chasing after a puppy with paper towels and wetwipes.

[Wol] Is that a vote for ****ing the pants game?

Tried to access the chatserver last night but ***** internet connection in my residence won't let me. Hope a good time was had by all.
*Warning, self promotion moment approaching* I was on national radio this morning! (Well, me and about 100 of my friends). Singing a Christmas Carol (recorded in June) from our CD. Rather exciting!

[rab] Why yes, I believe it is. [Boolbar] I **** cute little puppies. [Lib] Oooh - which choir? Which radio station? Which carol? I've dropped out of the singing world a bit (job, studies, baby, etc) but I remember the thrills.

That is a very pretty puppy. I would like to ****** it.

I did it. I ****** the pants game. :o)

pen] I've heard that you like ******** as well.

So was it an early night in the Chat Server last night? I say that, because I breezed in at 11.45 dressed as The Gal Who Cain't Say No to be greeted by a party of two. Thankfully, they had mildly silly names, so i didn't feel like a complete twonk. There are times when it would be useful to have a 'peep through the window' facility :-)

[Chalky] We don't encourage voyeurs! You are always welcome to come in as you are, we don't mind if you're inappropriately dressed (we always have spare costumes in the cupboard anyhow.) I was calamity pen, by the way, and Ma Whisky (I think Projoy recognised me as his mother), and also the Dusty Missionary. Ooh - and Zak from the Pony Express and Will Bill Hiccup. I was not, nor ever have been, the Spittoon or the Daddy of All Spittoons. And I'm sorry I sat and wriggled on Breadslinger's knee, I was in character and I got a little carried away.

[Chalky] Yeah - we were being tired, methinks. Peeping through the window would be handy - but would anyone ever enter?

So the *** game - is it entire songs, just titles or indeed non-song specific?

[pen] I was one of the spittoons and the daddy, but not concurrently.

[gil, Raak] With the missive, I wonder whether it would be best to push this one to the end of the year, and perhaps set down some sort of 'theme' or similar for the next?

[pen, rab] Sounds more fun than a stuttering dress rehearsal. Three of the principals have lost their voices and it's the First Night tonight. Ho hum.
Fer Gawd's Sake someone start the new game before some bozo drops by and claims it for a round of Spit the Pontoon.

[Chalky] Be my guest.

Break A Leg tonight, Chalks! I had great fun in the wild west saloon, and the theme was all down to your mention of Oaklahoma, so thanks for that. I'm womdering what the venue for next week's meeting will be... the Sports Centre? A restaurant? A Country House Hotel?

I was the original spittoon. How they teased me at school.

Projoy] You made me so much last night I'll be sending you the laundry bill.

I think I was all the misspelt 'spitoons'...

[*** game] I would start this, but I need clarification on whether it's strictly a songbook (i.e. song titles), songs themselves (as I believe is the case on ISIHAC) or a more general game.

Rab] You are right about MT game - it'd be better in bite sized portions. I wondered about a Jekyll and Hyde theme where player alternate personas. Bit like Goodnewsbadnews in letter format...?

Right - it's verses of songs (for now) but feel free to do poetry, short stories, or whatever else tickles your ****.

I tried to start one of these **** games back at !York, but my poor attempt at explaining it (and its lack of having appeared on a then-recent ISIHAC) caused it to mutate and ultimately perish. Use it wisely, citizens of MC5.

[Wol] Hallé Orchestra and Choir, Christmas CD, on Classic FM at 7.50 this morning.

Missy Penny-lope, any time y'all wanna wriggle on ma knee, y'all go right ahead. Just watch out for ma spurs. Hhhhhhwaaaa-ding!

[Breadslinger] Did you have your cotton-pickin' eyes shut? It weren't no Miss Penny-lope a-sittin' on yer knee, it was mah own beeeootiful self!

Can we do something about that woman? She keeps following me around!

Wasn't Brian Ma Whisky the chairman of the Conservative Party under John Major?

Eeeew! And I let him sit on my knee!

[Breadmaster] Pffft!

*CLANG*

I've just got me an evoke digital radio. Oooooooooh its soooooo good!

Oooooh! Lucky you! I might treat myself to one for the kitchen after Christmas. Then I can listen to it while I'm surfing at home :o)

[Btd]I've had my eye on one of those..staticy radios are so-o-o-o-o annoying..

[Btd, pen, snorgs] I'm still waiting for them to go down in price.
[pen] Sounds as though your PC is in your kitchen. Not so unusual really. I have a kitchen-cum-diner-cum-office, which rather places me in the centre of ground floor activity; fine if I'm home alone. It does lend itself to easy raiding of fridge, though.

This one was on special offer - I think because it is a 'classic fm' model and has a button to get you straight to there. I do not like classic fm very much so that button will (mostly) remain unused. Its the other channels I'm enjoying - BBC radios 6 and 7 are top of my list at the moment. 6 'cos it has interesting music and 7 because of the archived comedies including ISIHAC. And it has a pretty blue screen too.

I bought a new stereo in september. When I was looking around I wanted a CD player, tape and digital radio combo, preferably in a mini hi-fi system with good speakers. However such a device is not made 9which seems a bit daft to me). Grrrr. So I just bought the stereo and will wait for a digi-radio to get cheaper. My bro has one though, so I might pinch it when he's not looking (in the evil-little sister way of doing things!).

[Btd]The one I saw at Boots was £99, so how much is the Classic FM model? Is that the one at WH Smiths?

Yup - reduced to £71.

Personally I'd want a hi-fi separate digiradio, cos although these retro-style portables are all well and good I don't understand why you would want a high-quality, distortion-free digital signal piped through a three-inch speaker.

rab] This one has line out on the back (I checked before buying) - so I can (and will) use it with my seperates. And the speaker isn't bad at all!

What countries are we all from on this place? I sometimes detect language/ideas from the other side of the pond, and I find it all very interesting.

USA. Although I try to use the British spelling when I think about it.

Why, I'm in London. Where are you, ZK?

UK - Statford-upon-Avon.

[Bm] Kicking about a messy student flat in Birmingham :)

Kicking a dog about in a messy house in Bucks!

UK also..Birmingham also..Sutton Coldfield exactly

[AP] (ignoring the obvious rspca-needing overtones) You just told me it wasn't that bad! :)

Kicking about in a small, scruffy semi in Herts. [Angus - where are you in Bucks? I'm just 500 yards from the county line, sheriff]
[Chalky] It's a laptop on the kitchen table. Very handy for grilling sausages while I surf, although there's never anything interesting left in my fridge. Sometimes I take the laptop upstairs to watch DVDs in bed :o)

[Pen] Does that mean that it is used as an electric frying pan cum hot water bottle? How often do you need to wash the bedding?

[Dujon] It only really needs doing if I fry fish.

When I was small, I read a book in which a character declared that mangos should always be eaten in the bath, because of the mess. For years, eating mangos in the bath has been my idea of utter decadent pleasure. But I have since revised this to watching DVDs in bed on a laptop, which I now do frequently and with enormous satisfaction.

[Pen] *Urrgh!* ... ;-) [Pen & Breadmaster] Without mentioning names, there are some who frequent this web site who worry me!

Not those kinds of DVDs. Dear me...

I'm in Cardiff - which has finally got rather cold..

Pretty chilly in Mancatraz this morning too.

Got a delightful letter from my Grandma this weekend. My favourite comment was "The things that go on in the Villages. I could write a book about it, but they'd have to bin it.". I presume she meant that it would have to be binned because of the scandalous content, but with that combined with her rather free-form jazz writing style, there could be a Booker Prize in her...

Narrrch here, in the flatlands north east of London. Cold and sunny today.

[Dujon] Lord no, not those kinds of DVDs! The ones I can remember watching in bed are the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon...and it's generally when I get 'flu, which isn't very often at all.
The NW London 'burbs are very bright and sunny. At 11.30GMT, my car is still thoroughly frosted over.

Icy here. The water inside the chicken coop froze last night. Poor chooks.
Is there a dress code for tonight? May I suggest Inuit?

[Bob] Bring your own igloo party? As long we can speak in English this week...

It's -10 C here in balmy Pittsburgh, after Friday's 8-10 inches of thick, wet snow. Woo-hoo!

As my damn 'puters still doolally, I probably won't be there again.. :( I'll take a hammer to it tonight and try to threaten into submission, we'll see how that goes!

Currently lurking in the Essex suburbs, to answer the earlier enquiry...

[ZK] Portland, Oregon USA now, but formerly of various parts of the UK, and originally growing up in the fine Surrey outpost of Ilkley, W. Yorks.

Alan Titchmarsh grew up in Ilkley. Fact. Is Oregon east or west?

[ZK] Of what?
[Location] Currently, just in Bucks (by about 300 yards from Beds) Very close to the Herts border, too - in fact, I drive through all 3 counties to get to work.

[Watty] Well that's a coincidence. I was born in Chorleywood, which happens to be on the Herts/Bucks border: I was born on the Herts side, by a couple of hundred yards. (A road actually runs along the border, and is appropriately called "Shire Lane" - the odd-numbered houses are Herts, the even numbers are Bucks. Or it may be the other way around.) Not so near to Berks or Beds, though.

Whereas, having gone to school in darkest mid-Somerset, now I live in Manchester...

[ZK] Indeed he did - he's a patron of the theatre where I did some acting when I was growing up, and where my sisters still do.

Oregon is west coast. It's the state between California and Washington (Washington state being a completely different place from Washington DC, of course).

This has taken a bit longer than needed and its still not right I'm not happy about the table layout, the colours, border but finally, with my apologies for the late arrival, Dec 5 and Chalky has topped the Celebrity MC League.

At least I know slightly more than I did two weeks ago about style sheets, attributes, values and syntax, but I still need to do boxes and margins.