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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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Cyber pilg
How did it go? Will there be more?
chattermongers
[Bob] Mayhem and insanity - and yes :-)
If you can be bothered there's some postings in here a couple of pages back.
please ignore my dreadful grammar
*resists urge to make a horrific pun*
Boo!
I wanted to call it: "Lost Consonants: this time its persona!"
woooooooooooooooo
It's pretty quiet in here - mind you, my home computer has fallen over and can't get up, so I can only access from work for now..*sniff*
Wakey-wakey
[snorgle] I'd wondered where you'd been...

[all] Good weekend?

Weekend Loveliness
It was until I was awoken at 2:30 am this morning by a mouse which sounded like it was tearing floorboards apart with its teeth.
Rugby club bonanza
Boolbar] Are you sure it wasn't a giant, white, unbearably cute mouse?
I had a good weekend apart from the R A I N. I was also vaguely aware of England’s rugby victory (I found out on Sunday morning) - which was pleasant. What was unpleasant, however, was Christmas shopping on Sunday and having to tip-toe through a minefield of pavement-pizzas - a memento of local folks celebrations.
Weekend
Mac Expo on Friday afternoon, where I picked up a copy of Panther (MacOS 10.3), followed by spending the weekend in a hotel on a personal development course. Someone announced the rugby result at some point, and half the people went "YES!" and the other half "hm?". 20-17 in the last twenty seconds of extra time, apparently.
hm?
Raak] Do you feel personally developed as a result of your course?
Ooops - re reading that it sounds dreadfully rude - I didn't mean to be. What I mean was ...erm ..well, what is a personal development course?
personally developmented
[Raak] I would love to hear more. When I worked on a national newspaper many moons ago - they sent a group of us on one of those weekends. If I remember correctly, it was a hoot. I'm wondering if 2003 methods are less ... ahem ... aggressively american.
ISIHaC - round 2
Tonight at 1830 GMT. It was much funnier than the first episode broadcast last week.
Are we meeting tonight?
ce soir
[Rab] Usual tme, usual place. I'll be the one wearing a pink mink.
yesyesyes
... and I'll be cunningly disguised as a bricklayer's mate.
The enlightened being is [IN]
[Btd] Well, I found it worth while, though it would really be up to whoever knows me to judge the effect, if any. [Chalky] Do you remember what group it was? There are a lot of these things (perhaps less so now than ten or twenty years ago), and yards of self-help books in all the bookshops. I expect that Sturgeon's Law applies. I'll write more when I have time this evening.
Pilgy Pilgy
Probably won't be along this evening since I've a lot on at work today, what with the three day week and all.
Uselessness
Apologies for uselessness but what's the "usual" time? 8ish?
Excuses . . . .
Alas, I'll be working out in the gym. Then I'm chasing mice and putting doors up.
chasing through rooms
[Boolbar] If you put the doors up first, you can then shut them and therefore won't have so far to chase the mice. Also (if the mice co-operate) can the chase not be part of your workout? Could you persuade them to run at half-pace for the first ten minutes, then full-pelt for 15 minutes, then a cool down pace for the final ten? It would seem to be the organised thing to do.
Lost Consonants
[Kim] Surely that should be "his tie is personal"
M/R/S INKSPOT - HELP
A rather red faced Dujon appears before his accusers; "It wasn't me, Guv" He says. "The blasted Windows machine suddenly started opening windows everywhere and in my desperation to stop such infidelity I clicked all over the bloomin' place." He added, "Then I found I was no longer a member of the celebrated..." *sobs* "Mornington Crescent League on the Internet."
"Can you please put me back in there?"
"Sorry!"
Member No.: 3256726, Reg. Name: DUJON2774
Back in
Look what you have done! zipped in at No2.
The last time I looked I was the father of wonderful three boys ;)
Patch the dog
Last nights ball-gown cyberpilg was very amusing. By an incredible coincidence, this was in my mailbox this morning...

Its New, Its Safe!
Its The Most Advanced Penile Enlargement Solution! !
It's 100% Guaranteed To Enlarge Your Penis. 3+ INCHES!
MAGNA-RX PATCH! Etc etc

So now I know…

PS. I was under the impression that someone was transcribing events – or at least cutting and pasting. Is this correct, and if so, can I have a copy?
Transcript
I've got a bit of it, but I think DrQ's got the whole lot waiting for him on his machine at work. I guess it'll put in an appearance sometime this afternoon.
Weapons of Mice Destruction
[pen] Now why didn't I think of that . . . I used chemical warfare on the mice. Peppermint oil down the gaps in the floorboards that they want to get through. Didn't get as far as hanging the door.
As I was leaving the gym a young slim female was looking my way so I tossed my towel nonchalantly over my shoulder, only for the towel to land slap over my head. I guess it's a good job I'm already married.
throwing in the towel
[Boolbar] But you would have made her laugh - and that, probably above all, is what women like. Speaking personally, making me laugh would go a long way to making a man attractive to me. Our mate Phil the Landlord (who was working on a business proposal at the time) kindly help me draft a marriage proposal in the chatroom last night, but unfortunately it expired before I could use it. :o(
Laughter
Women like MONEY and IDIOTS.
an unvarnished truth
[st d] Yes, because both make them LAUGH. QED.
Dr Q has posted the link to the transcript of last night's cyberpilg in Orange 'Pilg game' - it's taken me a whole HOUR to speed-read it.
Yes. By the way, is Buttercup a regular visitor to the Crescent? I've been looking around for him/her.
Buttercup
Someone mentioned last night, when asked the same question, that 'Buttercup' is the person known as pl ... the pl person was around last week and is very funny.
Yes, I'd picked up on that... so presumably this is a 'chat-only' guise. Well the more the merrier, certainly! And it was pretty merry last night I thought. Toga party next week?
chat-a-tat
Aww! I'm sorry I missed that.. I have a blokie coming to look at my home computer tomorrow and hopefully he'll sort it out. It's acting very strange and will only boot in safe mode now. I can't work out what's wrong with it. Very annoying!
Diagnosis
[snorgle] I think the problem is that it's broken.
[Chalky] Before my intention to say some more vanishes off the top... The course I was on does come from the States originally, founded by two Anglican priests (although there's nothing specifically religious involved) something like 25 years ago. Difficult to say much concrete, really. It's mainly about learning to see things as they are, and noticing when we stop doing that. Just look at a lot of the postings in the Advice game at MCiOS for examples of the stuff people come out with when that happens. They're posted there in fun, of course, but how often do you hear people saying things like that in real life?
beta-talk
I had not been in a chat room before last night and enjoyed it greatly. Although I did not contribute very much(sorry), I'll try and do better next time, but my typing speed is tortoise slow.
paws are not so good to type with...
Inkspot] Thank heavens someone else is in the same boat! I nearly fell over in awe at the laser-wit demonstrated by some contributors - very notably Néa and Pen. Great evening – especially following on from the classic ISIHAC earlier.
Apologies for not being able to make it last night. The internet was broken. Or at least the bit of it that leads to my house was. However, an internet-fixer came by today, and so I have home connection again. See you all next week, maybe.
Mr Inkspot!
Thank you kind sir.
Aunty's slow
'Tis ok.
Is it just me at the moment, as I'm getting error messages and pages just not loading when looking round BBCi news.
I was barely there Monday night after the initial flurry of activity - the phone line and/or/therefore the internet decided to die, slowly and horribly. Am not going to be around the next two, probably three weeks. A pity.

and Dujon: please check your email, see if mine got through to you, and let us know what you think... Thanks.

flerdle
Your message has been responded.
Typos notwithstanding
[BtD] I'm flattered - and encouraged that my distinctive typo style didn't detract from your enjoyment :o). Mostly it comes from snorting with laughter so hard that I can't see to type.
keyboard madness
[Dunx] I managed to access the internet last night, but then the keyboard doesn't seem to be working. Then it started beeping and random numbers appeared. I'm sure it must be a virus, as I can't think why my keyboard would suddenly go mad..

Also, when I switched my computer off, it seemed to switch off, but I realised later that the screen was off but the power was still on in the base unit..

[snorgle] I think your computer needs a good defenestration.
[snorgle] Or some good, old-fashioned percussive maintenance.
quick fix
BB/Wol] You are both wrong. I would rather suggest hitting it with a hammer or throwing it out of the window. Far more effective.
fencing
[Boolbar]That sounds rude! [Wol]Tried it already. [st dogmael]Sorely tempted..
a window on the world
Ooh, I love a good defenestration first thing in the morning...
Seriously ...
[snorgle] sounds like it could be a virus (My father-in-law had - I think - Bugbear, which stopped him from turning his machine off. Of course, he could just have unplugged it ... It also seemed to disable Norton anti-virus, but AVG found it in the end.) grisoft.com have a good, free anti-virus (AVG), and also utilities for extracting individual viruses once they have been identified.
*Wandering through dragging a teddy bear and sleeping bag*
I'm off to have my second nap of the day. Ooh! Aren't I lazy?!?!
awooga!
[Wol]The faults make it difficult to get to websites and do things.. Hopefully, the blokie tonight will sort it out.. [Lib]Yes you are! Wake up now!
[Raak] Thanks for that. Your experience sounds altogether less pushy, for want of a better word, than mine. Yes, it was about 18 years ago and to be truthful, I've been raaking my brains trying to remember the name of the organisation - I've even looked for the notes I made at the time. I recall that the lady who did most of the front work was called Ross. As well as being highly articulate, she was also extremely funny, which may be why my abiding memory is that of an immensely enjoyable experience. Your interesting observation regarding the Advice Game in MCiOS has prompted me to revisit, reread and revise my interpretations of some entries. Fascinating :-)
Training
I used to have great fun watching training videos for a well-known electrical company borrowed from a friend who worked for them. Themes included "How to recognise a customer" and "What do customers need?” My own experience of corporate indoctrination was when I worked for a record company and was sent on an induction day. It was a disaster. We had to offer our perceptions about customer responses to their TV ads. I told them the truth, that the ads were patronising and superficial. I lasted two weeks.
Can there be any better time to say the word "pendulum"?
hanging time...
[Thos] I don't think so. It shut us all up for five hours!
Disappointing news :o( My first new staff member was supposed to be starting on Monday but she's accepted another job instead. Poo. The next one starts on 15th December though...
Today I read a sign in the hosptial foyer.

"Due to difficulties we are unable to serve hot food in the resturant tonight. Please bare with us".

Not entirely sure how taking our clothes off will help, but willing to try!

Dr in Undressed Salad Scandal!
Uh...no comment. :)
Celebdaq
[Inkspot] I'm confused. After kneecapping on Monday, I used my ten grand to buy shares in J Wilkinson. I don't appear to have received any dividends at all. Does one have to stay with the same celeb for a full 7 days to qualify? Also - where to we find the 'Dividend Payout' List for today?
Just a final word about that course...I've actually done several of their courses over the last 10 years or so, as well as being on the organising team a few times. It's called "The Life Training", and in London it's put on every two months.
Johnny who?
Chalky] I am suprised that you have no divis as the payout is proportional to how long its been held, if a dividend is £7, and you hold that celeb from Tuesday, you will get £3, the big winners will be those that had like evil_edna who had the shares for all seven days. You can request a daily update email from the daq towers which on Fridays gives your payout plus details on divi of the week. Otherwise it means waiting till Monday when the full list will be published.
ps the reason for my long tem minus weekly gain is I have a cunning plan!
*cackle*
Jonny Wilkinson is my pretty boy! And I made it to No. 81 in the national table :o)
feeling a bit short-changed
[evil cackling woman] Perhaps there wasn't enough of him to go round - everyone wants a slice of him now :-(
Anything interesting happening in MCiOS or Orange? My ISP isn't allowing me into either server - very annoying, especially as I'm having a quiet day at home and I've got time to play .... *sound of gnashing teeth*
Hmmm
I made the mistake of getting some Michael Jackson as well. Never mind. Well done miss evil :)
daqy
I got Michael Jackson as well.. better than nothing, I suppose.. it's probably not work going for Johnny next week now. At least my computer's working again! It was the keyboard, so one new keyboard later, and everything's fine.
ISPants
[Chalky] Hmm, I can't get into outer space either...
Nnnnoooo...no pars-s-s-slow....
No chat...GAAAH!
dubious parentage
Now look here all you ex Pants chaps, it's just not cricket, shutting up the clubhouse like that when a fella's off writing a novel and not leaving a forwarding address! It was a good job a small trail of crumbs was left at the profiles page and a friend of mine called Lycos knew where you'd all gone. Consider yourself heartily rebuke, nay, castigated.
Novel post
Welcome Mr Coyote, yet another Pants refugee. I believe we are distant cousins?
Wile E Smiley!
*popping in to flash a grin at Wile E*. Am watching Channel 4's 100 Best Sexiest Scenes from the Movies and it's really rather good.....
Channel Phoar
*Curses the day he through the TV out*
Super Genius!
Welcome to our new home, WEC! And how is Marie these days?
Hello again!
[WEC] Sorry to find out that various messages were not passed on - it's so hard to find decent help these days! ... :-) Anyway, you have found a few of us; did you employ Sherlock?
[DrQ] I'm more worried about Jeeves, to be quite honest, after all he's the one who serves the drinks. Marie simply, well, err, serves otherwise.
The lovely Marie
Ah, it's heart warming to be greeted by friends both new and old alike. [Bob] Would you be the Bob of the Kensington 'the Dogs' who was splashed all over the society pages last year? [DrQ and Duj] I found Marie stood on the steps of the old Clubhouse scraping a living selling sacks (at least I thought that's what she said) and she must have been down on her luck poor girl because it seemed she had hardly a stitch to wear! I did indeed send her to procure the services of the great Mr Holmes but the last I heard he had employed a new housekeeper and had retired to bed. I fear he may be ill because that was two weeks ago and not a sound has been heard from him or Marie since! No news of Jeeves, I assumed he had been packed up with the other chattels of the club when everyone moved. I'll keep my ear to the ground.
carpet bugger
wec] 'Fraid not. No I'm one of the Bromsgrove chapter. However, I did make a splash in the society pages. As a result, I had to spend the rest of the day outside.
monopoly
Every time I look down the Home page I feel like an evil taking-over-type person! Just clarifying here that I don't do it on purpose...
jeeves update
[Anyone even remotely interested] Popped round the old place looking for any clue of Jeeves' whereabouts and heard an odd scratching sound. Turned out the old chap was asleep in the billiard room when you all locked up and he's been surviving on the contents of the belowstairs larder and discarded podumes ever since. He had planned to dig a tunnel to escape and the plan was well, advanced, he had just unupholstered a couple of the old wing chairs from the servant's lounge to make the top of the vaulting horse that he had fashioned from the Dom Perignon crates in the member's cellar when I broke in and tok him home. He was beside himself with glee and ached for news off 'his gentlemen' and I tol him that I had tracked some of them down at a swanky new club. He seemed utterly delighted and asked to come down in order to seek employment and to meet you all agan but I put him to work immediately, buffing up my favourite 'Crescent Jacket' and digging out my Lumpton Jr texts from the library so that I may fully immerse myself in play once more. It's for his own good. See you soon, must fly, he's preparing a sumptuous dish of Bernard's Turkey Drummers and Alphabites and I don't want to miss that.
Termination of Face Pyjamas
May I suggest a game of "Christmas Cards you wish you'd never received"?
Goodnight
[gil] Hmmm... sounds interesting. Perhaps one could also pastiche those "newsy" letters that people insist on sending round this time of year.
stupid pewter
Agh! My computer has flipped out again! It refuses to even start up now - I must complain to computer blokie as I think it was something he did.. (v. stressful, this..)
Pastiche and chips
Newgame] How would Christmas cards work? Like postcards from Hell? That never seemed to take off.
Round robin game? Yes! Finish off previous sentence, start next sort of thing?
This year Mary and I decided to
Takeoff
[Bob] Really?
Bob the dog sentence
murder our parents, who had long been
Erm, no then.
All] Same time same place tonight?
Rab] Ah! I've not seen that one, it looks better than the last one on !York.
snorgle] blackmailing us with photographs they took of us on holiday when we were three. Fortunatly for my parents they had
silly sentence
[Btd}...thought of this, and had boobytrapped their...
sn] catflap with gelignite. I was most suprised, a little singed and completely failed to
..effect a surreptious entrance. Seconds after the blast..
Aside
(sounds like a player - shall we get it going?)

...Mother responding by getting...

Tear in the space-time contiuum thingy!
Reverse the polarity! Divert all power to deflector! Issue 'date 1201190703.34' as root! Hopefully dialling the server's clock back an hour won't break MC5 too much...
Another vote for the Bob-the-dog sentence spectacular.
...out her feather duster...
Or of course we could always do Good News / Bad News.
Too late! The deed is done
Tuj] coming to the Online cyber-pilg tonight on the MCiOS chat server? The dress code is Cowboys 'n' Injuns.
New Game
OK. It kinda worx.
New Game
[gil] It seems to have turned rather quickly into Random Prose, though.
*** game
I was grateful to be reminded, at about 6.50pm or so yesterday, of the fantastic potential of Censored Songbook (from the King and I - 'shall we *****, shall we *****, shall we *****?'). Any takers? Possibly only subtly different from the Pants Game but, for me, right at the other end of the comedy spectrum (ie funny).
****
[Wol] Yes indeed. I second that one.
I **** it.
Item of cutlery in a hot place.
I guess we could all give it a ***.
Is it just me or is a huge chunk of the 'net unavailable today?
nonet
[Wol] I think it's ******
Did you have a good time in the chatserver last night? I spared you a thought but was too busy chasing after a puppy with paper towels and wetwipes.
I so hate Geocities!
***** game
[Wol] Is that a vote for ****ing the pants game?
Tried to access the chatserver last night but ***** internet connection in my residence won't let me. Hope a good time was had by all.
*Warning, self promotion moment approaching* I was on national radio this morning! (Well, me and about 100 of my friends). Singing a Christmas Carol (recorded in June) from our CD. Rather exciting!
*****
[rab] Why yes, I believe it is. [Boolbar] I **** cute little puppies. [Lib] Oooh - which choir? Which radio station? Which carol? I've dropped out of the singing world a bit (job, studies, baby, etc) but I remember the thrills.
sick puppy
That is a very pretty puppy. I would like to ****** it.
it is ****
I did it. I ****** the pants game. :o)
i bet you do
pen] I've heard that you like ******** as well.
So was it an early night in the Chat Server last night? I say that, because I breezed in at 11.45 dressed as The Gal Who Cain't Say No to be greeted by a party of two. Thankfully, they had mildly silly names, so i didn't feel like a complete twonk. There are times when it would be useful to have a 'peep through the window' facility :-)
chat windows...
[Chalky] We don't encourage voyeurs! You are always welcome to come in as you are, we don't mind if you're inappropriately dressed (we always have spare costumes in the cupboard anyhow.) I was calamity pen, by the way, and Ma Whisky (I think Projoy recognised me as his mother), and also the Dusty Missionary. Ooh - and Zak from the Pony Express and Will Bill Hiccup. I was not, nor ever have been, the Spittoon or the Daddy of All Spittoons. And I'm sorry I sat and wriggled on Breadslinger's knee, I was in character and I got a little carried away.
Down with ****s
[Chalky] Yeah - we were being tired, methinks. Peeping through the window would be handy - but would anyone ever enter?

So the *** game - is it entire songs, just titles or indeed non-song specific?

[pen] I was one of the spittoons and the daddy, but not concurrently.

Massive Missive Musses Trellis
[gil, Raak] With the missive, I wonder whether it would be best to push this one to the end of the year, and perhaps set down some sort of 'theme' or similar for the next?
******* Whiskey and Wild Wild Women
[pen, rab] Sounds more fun than a stuttering dress rehearsal. Three of the principals have lost their voices and it's the First Night tonight. Ho hum.
Fer Gawd's Sake someone start the new game before some bozo drops by and claims it for a round of Spit the Pontoon.
[Chalky] Be my guest.
first night breakages
Break A Leg tonight, Chalks! I had great fun in the wild west saloon, and the theme was all down to your mention of Oaklahoma, so thanks for that. I'm womdering what the venue for next week's meeting will be... the Sports Centre? A restaurant? A Country House Hotel?
small squeak
... not quite brave enough to start a new game ...

Thanks pen :-)

*CLANG!*
I was the original spittoon. How they teased me at school.
Pro Joy
Projoy] You made me so much last night I'll be sending you the laundry bill.
I think I was all the misspelt 'spitoons'...

[*** game] I would start this, but I need clarification on whether it's strictly a songbook (i.e. song titles), songs themselves (as I believe is the case on ISIHAC) or a more general game.

Missive T
Rab] You are right about MT game - it'd be better in bite sized portions. I wondered about a Jekyll and Hyde theme where player alternate personas. Bit like Goodnewsbadnews in letter format...?
Executive decision
Right - it's verses of songs (for now) but feel free to do poetry, short stories, or whatever else tickles your ****.
**** advice
I tried to start one of these **** games back at !York, but my poor attempt at explaining it (and its lack of having appeared on a then-recent ISIHAC) caused it to mutate and ultimately perish. Use it wisely, citizens of MC5.
[Wol] Hallé Orchestra and Choir, Christmas CD, on Classic FM at 7.50 this morning.
Missy Penny-lope, any time y'all wanna wriggle on ma knee, y'all go right ahead. Just watch out for ma spurs. Hhhhhhwaaaa-ding!
knee-sittin'
[Breadslinger] Did you have your cotton-pickin' eyes shut? It weren't no Miss Penny-lope a-sittin' on yer knee, it was mah own beeeootiful self!
blackballing Ma Whisky
Can we do something about that woman? She keeps following me around!
Wasn't Brian Ma Whisky the chairman of the Conservative Party under John Major?
Eeeew! And I let him sit on my knee!
Hmmph!
[Breadmaster] Pffft!
*CLANG*
* rolls slowly across the plain *
Ewired
I've just got me an evoke digital radio. Oooooooooh its soooooo good!
digirad...
Oooooh! Lucky you! I might treat myself to one for the kitchen after Christmas. Then I can listen to it while I'm surfing at home :o)
evocative
[Btd]I've had my eye on one of those..staticy radios are so-o-o-o-o annoying..
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord