Do motorways have a Clio Lane specially for samll Italian cars?

[Rosie] It's probably the same lane that a Mini Driver would use.

(Boolbar) V good. ROFLMAO. I've had five of the little buggers and if you're not careful I'll give you all their numbers.

Despite all the extra protocols, checks, tests, paperwork, swimsuit competitions and tie-breaker round ("In ten words or less, explain why you should be allowed to enter France"), the drive back home was excellent and I have brought back more PG Tips and Club biscuits than is strictly necessary.

Le premier thé Anglais!

And may I be the first to wish my lovely friends a happy, properous and cheerful 2022! The evening was spent with a small group of friends, LFTs in hand, playing Mysterium, and drinking a reasonable quantity of beer.

[Nights] Good to hear you were allowed back - and you successfully managed to drive on the wrong side of the road for a bit! Apparently tea and chocolate bars are OK (vegetable origin) but filled chocolates (truffles, bonbons) are not - they contain something more closely related to dairy - so the Dutch Marechaussee told me. And if you can't eat the whole box of chocolates in the car at Customs, then just order them all from Amazon in France or Germany. That's where I get my Yorkshire Tea and Fry's Chocolate Cream bars from.

(pen) I get Yorkshire Tea from Waitrose. Good stuff is that.

[Rosie] Waitrose? There’s posh.

(CdM) Not really. Not ridiculously expensive either. Nicer people than the Co-op.

(CdM) and wider aisles. Better loos too.

The radio in the car on the way to work told me that there are signs that the pandemic may be slowing down. I then get into the office, open my inbox, and reel at the number of students off with COVID. It's almost as if... the media... has some kind of interest... in getting people... to worry about something else...

[nights] It may well be slowing down, but only after it got up to a fairly high speed to begin with.

Oh FFS. Vax-refusing neighbour over the road was ill last week but won't even take a home test - she's convinced there's something on the cotton swabs. There's no helping some people.

(pen) What's her name? Mrs Djokovic?

Well, back to doing some classes online, which pleases absolutely nobody.

[nights] Least of all those of us who have to teach the bloody things

[Pablo] Tell me about it. I had fourteen in my Friday morning class, not a face amongst them. Feels like I'm teaching my houseplants.

[nights] So, much the same as teaching in the classroom then?

[Raak] Somewhat, yes, although I do find that it is frowned upon if I take things to their logical conclusion and teach in my pyjamas.

I have started telling my team that they have to turn up in the video conferences with the most interesting background they can make.

[nights] Have an on-screen hat day. Also, have you tried the 'hold up something green if you agree' or 'hold up something red if you disagree' rapid-fire quizzy-type thing instead of relying on mentimeter or other electronic gizmotrickery?

[pen] Nope and that is absolutely happening in my next online thing.

In my last in-person thing, in the IT lab, I was practising using the software that allows me to look at the screens of my students from my desk. Not only does it nip any potential misuse of university facilities in the bud, but it allows me to send messages to all terminals in the session.

My favourite message I sent ended, for a lark, "Please stand up and sit down again briefly to acknowledge receipt of this message." Within moments, there was a gentle wave of students gently bobbing up and down. Absolutely splendid.

[pen][nights] Loving all this, only wish I had the wit to think of this stuff. As I teach music, perhaps I could declare that everyone must turn up with a sousaphone?

[Pablo] Surely you'd insist on a kazoo or Swannee whistle? Let battle commence.

Well, off work for a week. I've celebrated this fact by getting up just as early as ever on a Saturday morning to have a cotton bud inserted into what felt like my frontal lobe. Anyone else had particularly sadistic COVID tests?

(nights) Not a COVID test but can I bid One Prostate Biopsy?

[Rosie] Oh that doesn't sound nice. Hope the results are good!

(nights) It was nearly 5 years ago, very painful but brief and the results were not good. Extensive treatment has cured it - it can be done. The Gland Of My Fathers, a naughty boy. Bachgen drwg!

[Rosie] Glad to hear that things are better now. I went for an endoscopy at our local public-private-partnership hospital on Monday, and while I was impressed at how well everything went (it being my first time under general), I'm now slightly dreading the bill.

(nights) That's one thing I don't have to worry about - I even got a free car park pass as a regular patient. Radiotherapy, i.e. 37 consecutive zappings with high-energy X-rays but at least you get the weekends off.
Are you dreading the bill more than the result? I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad one. Whichever it is I hope they didn't find anything nasty.

[Rosie] There aren't many things I miss about the UK, but the NHS is one of them. Something of a stereotype I know. Anyway, went in for the followup visit today and all is well. Have also paid the bill, and informed the children that Christmas is cancelled.

[nights] They gave me the best drugs for the drainpipe-up-the-rear session I underwent. Much better than the carpal tunnel general. Needle went in after the usual faffing about trying to find a vein under the layers of manly blubber relaxed muscle I cultivate in my arms, turned on the faucet and the sitar music began almost straight away.