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The Banter Page
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If you're wanting to get something off your chest, make general comments about the server, or post lonely hearts ads, then this is the place for you.
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Here's a thought - learn to not live out of the freezer! (Pablo ducks as various rock-solid tupperware containers of unidentifiable foodish products are hurled at him, but stands firm in his unwavering belief in fresh food. Unless it's all run out, of course)
[Pablo] You're an urban dweller, I take it?
Learn ...
Excellent advice Pablo. Also, everyone stop whining about pollution, just learn to breathe only healthy O2/N2 mixture.
Something very weird is happening with AVMA. I keep trying to post to the game, and it won't accept my post. Meanwhile the front page now describes it as a "Brand spanking new event"
Never mind. I think I broke it by trying to include some Japanese characters. I took those out and normal service appears to have been restored.
I don't seem able to load the home page of that wily Scotsman McIos today.
Seems ok from here... http://mcios.pathetech.com/
[Micky Os] I had a problem after a recent Windows "update". My browser then claimed Mcios had a wonky certificate. I found tipping my laptop to one side helped.
(Bools) Did your browser actually use the word wonky?. If so, there is hope for the world.
[Pen]Yes, very urban, but if I were rural I'd be into stealing vegetables, strangling chickens, eating grass (both sorts), foraging for mind-bending mushrooms, punching cows and generally making a bloody nuisance of myself. Only way to have an interesting life as far as I can see.
hullo clouds hullo sky
[Pabbers] No need for stealing vegetables - they drop off the harvest wagons as they turn the corner in front of our house. And once the harvesting machines have been through the fields, gleaning is tolerated, so you could easily get 50-60kg of potatoes for nowt if you put your back into it. Other aspects - such as the peace and quiet (ignoring loads of tractors, obvs), open views and panoramic skies - make it worthwhile. I'm hating cities more and more, to be honest, but then I'm in the lucky position of being able to do that from a distance.
Free Veg
[penelope] So did you go for the speed bump or water-filled pothole to enact your nefarious-yet-brilliant veg "acquisitions"?
Desperate measures
We already have the water-filled pothole - everyone knows it's there. I feign reversing out of our parking bit in front of tractors to make them brake suddenly*.

*Seriously, I don't need to - there are enough idiot drivers causing tractors to take avoiding action and there are spuds all over the roads.

All round penelope's windmill for some chips done in beef dripping then!
<*drools*>
Chips in dripping
There's still one chip shop around here that does them like that.
Nothing in particular
And,um, where ... exactly ... is "around here"? Asking for, er, a friend.
Aaaaarrrghgurglethrobflutter
Hogs y sglods!
Hidden textproperly Hogia sglodion (chip lads)
Sling this into Google Maps and you'll see it.
F67M+5C Morlanwelz
Chips
I just found that it has a website, too. The name is Friterie de Mariemont.
For the anecdote: A few years back, Belgian law changed because the chip shops were semi-mobile affairs with propane stoves which tended to explode. The majority of the shops were classed as "mobile" - that is temporary construction by the side of a road on public land, and prohibited. The idea was that anyone who wanted to remain open had to construct a proper building, but most got around it by putting a veranda up in front. This one was moved fifteen metres from the road on to private ground, and then they put the veranda up.
Patat, Pataje, Friet, Frites, Chips met mayonnaise.
[Bismarck] I see it - tucked into the back of the car park. We used to occaisionally drive the 15km over the border into Belgium to have chips for dinner at something similar They're everywhere. Our dog is called 'Chip' (or 'Chippie') after the food, BTW.
[pen] I expect he has a 'chippie tea' at feeding time
[Chalks] We call it a 'Chippie dinner' (but the windy miller doesn't get the allusion to the colloquial chippy at all).
(pen) How do you know what carpenters have for din-dins?
[Rosie] Dunno, but they probably eat it with a wooden chip fork.
While digging around in an old bookmark file...
... I found my MC bookmarks! I'm so pleased to see everyone still here!
Greetings, nights!
resurrections and aging
(nights) Good to see you.
(Rosie) MHR OM.
[nights] Pleased to see you too! (And to have more than 8 words to say so)
I honestly can't remember the last time I played. But (to put on my serious hat for a moment) I find that with the world being so grim, some light hearted fun is all the more precious. It's also nice to see that community online is still a thing.

With that said, doffing my serious hat with a flourish and putting my balaclava of fun back on, I return to trying to find my rhyming dictionary...
Anyone else having trouble reaching MCiOS?
(Proj) No problem here.
Belated Birthday Greetings Rosie!
MCiOS
Yes, Projoy.
MClostiOS
Yes - me too.
I'm not seeing any problems at MCiOS.
(Chalky) Cheers, m'dear.
Anniversaries
(Rosie) It's got to be 20 years since WildPants? I know other MC servers existed in the last century but vaguely recall I didn't venture into them until Rab fashioned this one.
[nights] Welcome back! Do stick around for a while.
Wildpants
(Chalky) I remember posting something in WildPants which for some reason mentioned my age, a mere 58. So yes, over 20 years ago. I seem to remember there was a Rogues' Gallery associated with it. Maybe we could have one here.
MCiOLOSS
[Projoy et al] I'm also having problems getting to MCiOS...
MCiOS
I too cannot access MCiOS. I seem to remember something recently about changing its domain or IP or some such techobabble?
Finding MCiOS...
It appears to be accessible again. It's always in the last place you look, isn't it?
Mr Logic
(nights) Sorry to be a clever c*** but can I cautiously point out that it must be in the last place you looked because once you've found it you stop looking.
Censorship
Wow, who knew rab hates Dutch shoes?!
Another string to my bow is theatre tech. I've just spent ten hours plugging things in, unplugging them, bonking myself on the head with them, turning them around the right way, programming them, and that was just the actors.
So. Decision made. We're not going back to England for Xmas for a second year. Luckily I managed three trips between September and November (the latter for my mother's 80th birthday) before it all went loopy again. We've had half a shutdown in the Netherlands for the past 3 weeks (all evening stuff is closed, except supermarkets and petrol stations). The rate of booster vaccinations is speeding up so it might be before or just after Xmas for me and the windy miller.
But folks, I'm curious. Who is still stupid enough to spread it after nearly two years of this shit? Come ON.
My sister, apparently. I'm told she thinks 'healthy people don't need vaccines'.
[pen] Students. "I'm young, I won't get sick even if I do get it." It's getting to the point that I dread going to work, which is a new and sad feeling.
(pen) Not just that, but practically all patients in Intensive Care Units are unvaccinated. They are brainless, selfish and completely up their own arses.
I despair, I really do. Looks like the Dutch government is also going to eschew closing schools early for a firebreak over Xmas and the new year holidays so as 'not to interupt education'. Seems to me it would be the obvious thing to do at this stage. Co-worker's husband is a maths teacher and yesterday he tested positive. She's pregnant with twins. They are both vaccinated.
This sucks.
Gathering rosebuds
Off to London this Sunday for some culture. I wonder if this is the last time it will be possible for a while.
Glub glub...
Off to the UK via the tunnel on Saturday in my little COVID-safe Clio. Haven't driven on a British motorway in a good ten years. This is going to be entertaining!
Traffic report
Apart from a minor contretemps near Heathrow, I have safely arrived in the Midlands. My little car behaved admirably and is going to be valeted as a reward.
Clio capers
[nights] Have a wonderful time with your nearest and dearest.
Do motorways have a Clio Lane specially for samll Italian cars?
[Rosie] It's probably the same lane that a Mini Driver would use.
(Boolbar) V good. ROFLMAO. I've had five of the little buggers and if you're not careful I'll give you all their numbers.
1000kms later...
Despite all the extra protocols, checks, tests, paperwork, swimsuit competitions and tie-breaker round ("In ten words or less, explain why you should be allowed to enter France"), the drive back home was excellent and I have brought back more PG Tips and Club biscuits than is strictly necessary.
Le premier thé Anglais!
2022
And may I be the first to wish my lovely friends a happy, properous and cheerful 2022! The evening was spent with a small group of friends, LFTs in hand, playing Mysterium, and drinking a reasonable quantity of beer.
[Nights] Good to hear you were allowed back - and you successfully managed to drive on the wrong side of the road for a bit! Apparently tea and chocolate bars are OK (vegetable origin) but filled chocolates (truffles, bonbons) are not - they contain something more closely related to dairy - so the Dutch Marechaussee told me. And if you can't eat the whole box of chocolates in the car at Customs, then just order them all from Amazon in France or Germany. That's where I get my Yorkshire Tea and Fry's Chocolate Cream bars from.
(pen) I get Yorkshire Tea from Waitrose. Good stuff is that.
[Rosie] Waitrose? There’s posh.
(CdM) Not really. Not ridiculously expensive either. Nicer people than the Co-op.
(CdM) and wider aisles. Better loos too.
The radio in the car on the way to work told me that there are signs that the pandemic may be slowing down. I then get into the office, open my inbox, and reel at the number of students off with COVID. It's almost as if... the media... has some kind of interest... in getting people... to worry about something else...
[nights] It may well be slowing down, but only after it got up to a fairly high speed to begin with.
Oh FFS. Vax-refusing neighbour over the road was ill last week but won't even take a home test - she's convinced there's something on the cotton swabs. There's no helping some people.
(pen) What's her name? Mrs Djokovic?
Can you hear me now?
Well, back to doing some classes online, which pleases absolutely nobody.
[nights] Least of all those of us who have to teach the bloody things
Can you turn your cameras on please?
[Pablo] Tell me about it. I had fourteen in my Friday morning class, not a face amongst them. Feels like I'm teaching my houseplants.
[nights] So, much the same as teaching in the classroom then?
[Raak] Somewhat, yes, although I do find that it is frowned upon if I take things to their logical conclusion and teach in my pyjamas.
I have started telling my team that they have to turn up in the video conferences with the most interesting background they can make.
[nights] Have an on-screen hat day. Also, have you tried the 'hold up something green if you agree' or 'hold up something red if you disagree' rapid-fire quizzy-type thing instead of relying on mentimeter or other electronic gizmotrickery?
IT mischief for pedagogical amusement
[pen] Nope and that is absolutely happening in my next online thing.

In my last in-person thing, in the IT lab, I was practising using the software that allows me to look at the screens of my students from my desk. Not only does it nip any potential misuse of university facilities in the bud, but it allows me to send messages to all terminals in the session.

My favourite message I sent ended, for a lark, "Please stand up and sit down again briefly to acknowledge receipt of this message." Within moments, there was a gentle wave of students gently bobbing up and down. Absolutely splendid.
[pen][nights] Loving all this, only wish I had the wit to think of this stuff. As I teach music, perhaps I could declare that everyone must turn up with a sousaphone?
[Pablo] Surely you'd insist on a kazoo or Swannee whistle? Let battle commence.
Well, off work for a week. I've celebrated this fact by getting up just as early as ever on a Saturday morning to have a cotton bud inserted into what felt like my frontal lobe. Anyone else had particularly sadistic COVID tests?
Sadism
(nights) Not a COVID test but can I bid One Prostate Biopsy?
[Rosie] Oh that doesn't sound nice. Hope the results are good!
(nights) It was nearly 5 years ago, very painful but brief and the results were not good. Extensive treatment has cured it - it can be done. The Gland Of My Fathers, a naughty boy. Bachgen drwg!
[Rosie] Glad to hear that things are better now. I went for an endoscopy at our local public-private-partnership hospital on Monday, and while I was impressed at how well everything went (it being my first time under general), I'm now slightly dreading the bill.
(nights) That's one thing I don't have to worry about - I even got a free car park pass as a regular patient. Radiotherapy, i.e. 37 consecutive zappings with high-energy X-rays but at least you get the weekends off.
Are you dreading the bill more than the result? I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad one. Whichever it is I hope they didn't find anything nasty.
[Rosie] There aren't many things I miss about the UK, but the NHS is one of them. Something of a stereotype I know. Anyway, went in for the followup visit today and all is well. Have also paid the bill, and informed the children that Christmas is cancelled.
[nights] They gave me the best drugs for the drainpipe-up-the-rear session I underwent. Much better than the carpal tunnel general. Needle went in after the usual faffing about trying to find a vein under the layers of manly blubber relaxed muscle I cultivate in my arms, turned on the faucet and the sitar music began almost straight away.
After a fractious meeting or two and some very colourful emails, I have now made sure that the right ticks are in the right boxes for all of our students will be able to do their external English exams (rhymes with STOIC) at no cost to them. It's the small victories, eh.
Ticks
Not ... the dread Brotherhood of Luxor Death Ticks?

Death Tick
Death ticks are clockwork menaces resembling ticks, but about the size of a man’s hand. They are programmed to seek out a living target, jump onto that target, and siphon the victim’s life fluids. Once the enemy is a dry husk, the tick returns to its sender. Any tick failing to reach the sender in 10 hours releases a corrosive acid and destroys itself.

Ticks
And you surely can't mean ... the foul Prairie Tick?

Prairie Tick
Prairie ticks are the scourge of the High Plains. These horrid bloodsuckers live in underground burrows and are controlled by a single, giant queen that rules over each nest.

Ticks
[Stevie] The only ticks I am experiencing are those of the clock marking off the seconds of the exam that I spend thinking of all the ways I could be using this time more productively if I wasn't required to be here watching students do an exam.

Never mind, at least Saturday is open day, an entirely DIFFERENT way of wasting time...
This Saturday
I'm running another episode of the increasingly hysterical Planet Mercenary RPG. You could join us if you weren't doing something else.
Last Saturday
[Stevie] Ta verymuchly for the invitation, but I'm already part of two RPGs that never have the time to meet up - three would be an extravagance, I fear. That being said, I can confirm that D&D in French is hilarious when you don't know the right vocab.
Well, May 7th we're back on Mars for some Space 1889. Dead easy Savage Worlds rules. Offer stands. Noon EST. Well, DST I guess.
D&D off-planet
[Stevie], how easy is it to learn?
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