[Rosie] Being able to use headphones is incredibly liberating, isn't it? To say nothing of being able to select from a wide range of voices. Since getting my Yamaha wind midi synth about 15 years ago, my sax has sat in its case, its leather pads slowly turning to stone. Every now and then I think about getting it serviced...

[Rosie] I look forward to the time you will tell us of the triumphant performance of "The Ride of the Valkyries" at 2am, the removing of the headphones to discover the blue flashing lights and banging on the door and the dawning realization that the headphone plug was not pushed all the way into the socket.

Mrs Stevie is an expert at doing this with her iPad so I get to listen to her dreadful musical theatre stuff at full blast because she did not realize that the reduced volume in the headset was due to half the signal still going to the external speakers.

(Dan) Play your sax, man. It's not an instrument I can play but picking up the 'bone and giving it a whirl is most satisfying especially if you find something to play along with (stuff on YouTube usually).
(Stevie) I've occasionally forgotten to plug in and muttered to myself "this doesn't sound right" followed by "plug it in, twatface". The neighbours are upstairs, sleeping the sleep of the just, and are not disturbed, so I have ascertained.

[Simons] Do you dance the mashed potato to their tunes? Are they called the Tuber Tunes or Tater Tunes?

Has anyone gained a new skill during enforced home-staying? I've been at home for 7 months now, but worked 40 hours a week throughout.

[pen] I learned the front crawl. Actually, I had a series of lessons before lockdown, and then the pool closed, but since it opened a couple of months ago I've been practising. I can just about do a 25 metre length without stopping. The skill of breathing air and not water is the difficult part.

I've improved my typesetting and CSS skills. And finished (bar user feedback) a writing project that's been lingering for years.

I have had more work to do since I've been working from home. I'm sure my boss thinks I'll go idle otherwise.
Other than that I've learned how to play a few modern board games and apply liquid eyeliner without looking like a ham-fisted goth.

I can now reliably get a top D on the 'bone and as a result all the windows in the house are broken.

[Boolbar] Are you interested in roleplaying games? My project was a rewrite of Star Wars 1st Edition D6.

[Simons] I've never tried. As I now live alone I needed something to do in the Covid evenings other than stare at a screen. I've been pitting my wits against various board games' solo modes.

[KagomeShuko] I'm trying to work something round 'Spud-u-kelele' but I haven't managed anything yet

As travel and eating out has been off the table for the past few months I have expanded my cooking horizons by doing a different cuisine each weekend. My youngest is fairly fussy but I've managed to do French, Spanish, Italian, Greek, Israeli, Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Brazilian, Jamaican, Southern US. I've learned some new techniques and discovered some great recipes. But the waistline has taken a hammering so the adventurous cooking has stopped for a while.

Nothing thrilling, but I did finally get a job in May. I don't like it, but I've learned how to do the job.

Broken windows, liquid eyeliner, breathing water...
I wear far less make-up now BTW. I used to wear it six days a week, now only on Saturdays. I'm saving a ruddy fortune.

[nfras] When you start up again I've got a recommendation for a chicken recipe so simple even I can make it: a Fillipino staple called Chicken Adobo. I do have to admit, there's only about six data points on the entire graph of Things Simons Mith Has Successfully Cooked, but that's one of 'em. It's a really everyday dish, so there are many variant recipes to choose from.

[Simons] I'd love it, thanks. I like to try new foods, even if the youngest can be a pain in the bum when deciding she doesn't like it before she has tasted it.
[KS] Doing a job you don't like is really hard, so I definitely feel for you.
Mrs Nfras decided to try crocheting. She bought the wool and hooks and stuff. Anyone want some second hand wool and crochet hooks?

Chicken Adobo. I think that's the recipe I used, but there's dozens of variants readily findable online. If I did it again I'd try one of the variants that uses ground pepper rather than peppercorns. But the overnight marinade is definitely a bit to keep in. I got the recipe from a Fillipino Google plusser I used to follow, for whom adobo was a much-loved childhood dish.

The past year has allowed me to ignore the garden to a great extent, but being out of work has forced me at least to plan stuff and mow the grass. The Bismarckette decided that this year's project would be tomatoes, and bought a bunch of grow-stuff necessary for the production of the red veggies-fruit-whatever. They were supposed to grow into big, fat tomatoes, but stubbornly refused to get above the smallish size, and the plants tended to brown, apparently due to a lack of calcium in the soil. This was addressed by decorating the soil with crushed eggshells (Bismarckette, success 0/10) and mixing gardeners chalk into the soil (yours truly, success 10/10). The final crop ended up with a unit price of about three quid, which is about par for the course with the Bismarckette's projects.She was then miffed to see that tomato seeds that Mrs Bismarck had thrown around the side of the house had actually grown into two full-scale tomato plants with absolutely no effort.
We've been here for fifteen years and have finally found out what the tree at the bottom of the garden is. The previous owners planted it, but it was in the shade of a massive Leylandii hedge and grew hardly at all. When we chopped the hedge down a couple of years back (as a result of The Neighbour Who Does Not Like Trees invoking a local by-law that no hedge can be more than one metre 50 tall), the tree took off and this year produced eight fruits which on inspection by the health authorities were pronounced to be quinces. Quinces are massive fruits and have a very strong pear-like perfume. Mrs Bismarck has Plans for them, though what remains to be seen.
Funnily enough, The Neighbour Who Does Not Like Trees was hoist by his own petard this year, when the inheritance of the next-door house was sorted out. The old Italian Neighbour Who Grows All His Own Food died at an advanced age last year, and his son of 75 years turned up with wife and dog. It seemed that the laurel hedge forming the border between their gardens was a matter of inches inside the wrong garden (I was called out to verify the position of the boundary markers and swear on oath that the small fence between us was mine, and not his), and he was forced to dig the lot up. They don't joke about property limits around here, I can tell you.
Now I have to research in depth the pruning of quince trees, nut trees, and figs, and also think of something to do with The Shady Patch Where Nothing Grows under The Neighbour Who Doesn't Like Christmas's hedge. Which I did not pay to have trimmed, that did NOT happen.

I'm one of the lucky ones who (a) still has a secure job and (b) can work from home. But the downside is that the WFH has been much harder work than NWFH, as I have had to adapt a lot of materials and plans for distance/online learning. My video editing skills are improving, but that's about it. Though I have welcomed the opportunity to cook and bake more: those are not new skills for me, but in recent years I had been doing less and less due to being time-poor and having lots of good restaurants and cafés nearby.

[Bis] wow - a Quince! That's quite a thing to have. They are rare.
A couple or four years ago I did a fruit-tree pruning course with the local protected landscape foundation (in Dutch - I was v proud of myself) and did a few volunteer January pruning sessions in a heritage orchard. The point was to get myself out of the house on January Saturdays and get more involved in Dutch stuff. Anyway. I've successfully pruned our baby fruit trees (they all came from Aldi) and the neighbour's pear tree (which is much bigger and gave a bumper crop as a result - phew). I imagine quinces are similar in that fruit-bearing wood is last summer's growth so you only cut off enough twigs to make sure that every fruit-bearing stick is strong enough to carry the weight and that every twig can see the sun. The Dutch are pretty good at growing fruit, so maybe I've learned the high-production method, but there you go. There'll be videos on YouTube I'm sure. And it's coming up to tree-pruning season - when the trees are dormant and you really don't feel like going outside and stretching up so that your vest becomes untucked, baring your midriff flesh to the elements. Or maybe that's just me. Good luck!

[nfras] I'm at least blessed that I can do thejob as long as I have my laptop, headphones, and WiFi and that it can be done from anywhere with those things.

I work Customer Support or Restaruant Support for Bite Squad - which is a third party food delivery service like Postmates or Dash.

Restaurant support is better than Customer support, but both can get irritating. Customers complaining are the worst, though. There are some that are fine, but plenty that are very rude.

I am in sales, so working from home is not a new habit for me, and for the first time in months I have all of the kids and Mrs Nfras back at school.
My previous company decided to shut down all of APAC on the 1st of April but I was lucky to pick up another job pretty quickly. My previous manager is still not working so things are pretty tough in the job market.

I thought quince was a made-up thing eaten in medieval banquets like hippogriff or capon. Learn summat every day. Is your tree now a listed structure? Some years ago The Neighbor from Hell broke another of our fences so we decided to replace the lot, had the land re-surveyed and it turned out we owned about 12" of one corner that had been on the other side of the broken fence. Then, he put up chainlink alongside our stockade fence. Why, I'll never know since by code we had to show him the pretty side. Now TNFH periodically trims the honeysuckle that grows between our fences and throws the debris over into our yard, presumably because he has forgotten that we fenced to the property line so the vines are growing on *his* land. Total git.

(Stevie) I have two quince bushes in my garden and at this time of year they drop their fruit which are yellow and somewhat smaller than a cricket ball. One year I thought I'd have a look at them. They're as hard as nails and if you really chucked one at someone it wouldn't do them a lot of good. Heavy equipment is needed to open one then you find a large cavity full of seeds and a tooth-breaking outer part with a pH of about 0 like conc. sulphuric. I would have more success making jam out of boiled-up breeze blocks than I would out of these buggers.

Have any of you participated in the delightful sport of cracking macadamia nuts? This a tough game involving plenty of hilarity for spectators, loads of frustration for the nominated cracker and much exuberance exhibited by all when the aim is achieved.

(Dujon) Macadamia? Isn't that what road surfaces are made from? Not surprising they're hard to crack. Maybe that's a British joke.

How the hell did that happen? Here I am, sitting in my home office (the top bedroom) eating instant noodles at my desk and working through lunch again as if it was perfectly normal and I had been doing it for for nearly nine months.
Which I have.

Oh, is that why everyone else disappears for an hour and leave me to take all the phone calls...

[Boolbar] Phone calls? I don't talk to anyone anymore.

[penelope] Good policy. You wouldn't believe how much bollocks people are talking these days.

The Stevieling and Mr Stevieling celebrated their first anniversary in lockdown.

That'll be one to tell the grandchildren, assuming there are still human beans on the planet by then.

I can hardly wait until this pandemimc is over. I know, we can't have a timeline because who knows when it will be over. I still hate this and REALLY want to be able to hug people again.

People on my street are now out on the walkways in front of their houses making noise with whatever's to hand: pan lids and ladles are popular. Many still in their pyjamas. In the rain, I might add.

(Dan) Glad you live in a civilised place but what about Banjo Crossing, S. Dakota? ©P G Wodehouse.