Ah-ha! Each move shall be accompanied by some classic show-foolery - and the following moves must somehow follow on in topic or style!
Yes, The Goon Horne'd Crescent express is here!!!
Expose all
Pave - Would sir prefer something a little more, let us say...Holland Park like? or a slug?..I have a slug.
Néa - *explodes*
Mrs Shazam - Oh, Néa's exploded.
Mrs Shazam's son - Good thing too.
Mrs Shazam - She was my best friend.
Mrs Shazam's son - Oh, mother, don't be so Sentimental. Things explode every day.
Mrs Shazam - Yes, I suppose so. Anyway, I didn't really like her that much.
Narrator - Now then now then...this is getting rather silly. Let's carry on with the game now!
The Knights Who Say "Harrow and Wealdstone" - Harrow and Wealdstone
I Say, Porter! - Well it's spelt 'Raymond Luxury Yach--t' but it's pronounced 'throatwobbLad brokeGrove'.
Pave - Oh Kings Cross
Pave - Oh Kings Cross, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society?
Irouléguy - 'ere, squire, your wife, your wife - does she ever go to Southfields, know what I mean, know what I mean, eh, eh?"
The other narrator - And now for something completely Debden
I Say, Porter! - ... does anyone fancy a pint?
Chalky - Aaargh ... that be a WOMAN'S question.
Kim - Leicester Square. That's where I took out my appendix.
Ed Winchester - Hi! I'm Ed Winchester!
I Say, Porter! - He's down in the cells now, we're holding him on a charge of 'grievous bodily odour'.
I Say, Porter! - It's a far cry from small boys in the park, jumpers for goalposts, three and in...
Chalky - Fockcosters declaring Pismronounciation for 3 moves
I Say, Porter! - Marble Arse
Pave - Arsefull Oh you naughty lad!
Tuj - Ladies, gentlemen and knights of the realm, may I present without further needle-nardle-noo a small dishevelled child.
*sound effect: heave, splash*
"He's fallen in the Canada Water"
I Say, Porter! - White BITTY!
I Say, Porter! - ... I'm afraid that I was very, very drunk...
I Say, Porter! - Naaah, fork 'andles. 'Andles f' forks.
Pave - 'ave you got any "O"-vals?
Botherer - Yes you did! You invaded Poplar!
I Say, Porter! - So that's one sack of coke, two King's Cross, one pair of pink boobs, and a large bare lady on the house.
I Say, Porter! - This game is no more, it has ceased to be. Bereft of life it rests in peace.
I Say, Porter! - I'm not dead
I Say, Porter! - 'Ere! 'E says 'e's not dead!
I Say, Porter! - After all, what is bad? I mean, here we are in Lambeth.
I Say, Porter! - I'm afraid God just wants you to have a rotten life. God's like that. He hates poofs.
Inkspot - When things are slow God loves nothing better over a pie and a pint than to beat Satan at Mornington Crescent.
Hunter - Damn Caruthers I missed .
Inkspot - Now try Mornington Crescent to disarm any opponent coming at you with a banana.
Audience - *shouts, screams generally goes wild for Inkspot*
I Say, Porter! - In the words of John Cleese, "when two or three are gathered together in my name then they shall perform the Parrot Sketch"
I Say, Porter! - By their constant repetition knob in the media they become part and parcel and, and pubes of everyday conversation.
This is the end of the line. There is no more.