It's sheer hard work putting on a slick performance of the Game itself. Here, we have an insight into the producer's woes, the director's final, fraught instructions, the referee's frantic consultations with the rule book(s) and the performers' last-minute nerves. This might be useful. For One Night Only, unless The Audience decides otherwise.
And so it begins...
penelope
assistant stage manager is on shaky ground
*leaves Top Hat token on the tube at Arnos Grove*
Inkspot
props manager smooths out lace table cloth
*looks for french windows at Pimlico
Software
lighting technician checks loose connections
*plunged into darkness in power failure at Warren Street*
Bigsmith
Sound mixer finds blown fuse
*power restored at Custom House*
nfras
Stage Manager checks stocking of dressing room fridges
*Barry's beer truck tips going round Hyde Park Corner*
Kim
Director smokes 20th cigarette of the afternoon
*ASM dispatched to kiosk at Piccadilly Circus*
Tuj
Performer arrives, immediately checks fridge
*bellows at nfras so loudly it can be heard at Heathrow Terminal 4*
penelope
Ladies and gentlemen
*peers into the back of the auditorium*
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Unfortunately our star performer is unable to be here tonight, and without the help of an understudy, or indeed, any other performers, props, script or direction, we are unable to put on this performance of Mornington Crescent tonight. We hope to bring you this performance at a later date, and our box office will be happy to give you a refund or exchange your ticket.
Audience
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for penelope*
This is the end of the line. There is no more.