An old favourite from the Douglas Adams stable, well-known to anyone familiar with Pants MC. The game of giving dictionary definitions to place names. Please define the place provided by the previous player, and then post one of your own.
And so it begins...
Gusset Login - A suitable place to build a tree house.
Farleigh Wallop
Bigsmith - Farleigh Wallop (pr. farly wollup) To hit a cricket ball a bloody long way
Piddlehinton
Raak - Having parked in a lay-by, to walk inordinately far through the bushes in search of a place to take a leak where you will not be observed from the road.
Cranstackie
JLE - A small building which appears to consist entirely of corners, whether viewed from inside or outside, and generally resembles a cottage for the more architecturally challenged kind of witch.
Mallaig
Breadmaster - An old Lancashire dish - a luxurious pudding made of milk, lard, and slightly off eggs. Utterly revolting.
Bloxham
Rosie - A pharmaceutical trade name, ca. 1950. When you went abroad in those days you always took these little pills with you. You know what the water's like in those places.
Leatherhead
JLE - A slang term which is to football what "punch-drunk" is to boxing: minor brain damage inflicted by repeated blows to the head, in this case incurred particularly by aging centre-forwards from heading the ball too often. Particularly prevalent three or four decades ago, when the football was generally (a) heavier, and more importantly (b) more absorbent of water, therefore heavier still in rainy conditions, which was (and remains) most of the football season. Less prevalent now, for obvious reasons, and Gascoigne is *not* an example (almost never headed a ball in his life, he really *is* that dumb naturally.
Istanbul
Chalky - a sort of hissed expletive made
sotto voce when someone in your company is talking utter bollocks [eg. lunch with the boss and his wife] but it wouldn't be prudent to say so.
Strabane
Rosie - (
pron. St. Ra-barney.) The patron saint of punch-ups.
Hever
Bigsmith - A particularly attractive lady, from the expression "Wouldn't 'hever' out of bed!"
Torlundy
Deek - Was a small settlement established in the year 894ad by two viking invaders, Tor and Lundy. They agreed to name it after the both of them and Tor won the arm wrestle, giving him the right to have his name first.
Tipton
Kim - The experience of suddenly finding oneself under a great big pile of something.
Foots Cray
DrQu+xum - Ronnie & Reggie's personal cobbler.
Fitzpaine
Raak - The discomfort endured by a woman who is convinced that her size 8 feet will go into size 6 shoes.
Sgiogarstaigh
JLE - The feeling you get when taking over half an hour to wake up following a night out on the piss.
Clovelly
Dunx - Attractively overspiced.
Snoqualmie
widey -
the gauge used to define the quality of snow in different areas around the world. eg. wet-snow (uK), powder snow (New York)......
Rosie - Some mothers do 'ave 'em. Try
Crowborough
Dujon - An alternative for 'coven'
Pimlico
Gusset Login -
This is best not discussed in a public forum where children may accidentally let their parents see them reading itNorthington
Deek - When the viking town of TorLundy became a thriving metropolis, the founding fathers were continually arguing over who should be King. Yet again Lundy lost the arm wrestle and Tor stayed as King of TorLundy, which was then renamed Torlundy. Lundy took his friends and family and set off in search of somewhere new to build a settlement. They found a large open space and, upon seeing this, Lundy exclaimed "There's northing there, a whole ton of northing." The name stuck and the town of Northington was founded.
Tadcaster
Gusset Login - [Deek] I don't think you've quite grasped the idea of this game
Tadcaster
JLE - A person who fishes for tadpoles.
Wroclaw
Raak - The ancient right to ignore laws when they obviously don't apply to you.
Anglesey
LotUS - What a Tadcaster aspires to do some day.
Malvern
LotUS -
Are we limited to UK place names?
Raak - [LotUS]
Not at all.
Deek -
Er, yeah, OK, sorry,Malvern
Deek - A person who lives in a shopping mall.
(that's better, but the Viking stuff was quite good.)Skegness
Bigsmith - Description of the amount of incrustation on the gusset of well used underpants. (Deek) The viking stuff made me chuckle. However, I think you may have invented the whole new game of "How places got their names".
Alpe Duez
Gusset Login - The money owed for use of a mountain in Europe
[Bigsmith]I agree, next time there's a game slot available, we should try it for real
Verbier
Deek - A person who uses too many verbs in conversation or writing. verby, verbier, verbiest.
[Bigsmith & Gusset] There is always Tor and Lundy's brothers, Lon and Don.
Catterick
JLE - Something that started out life as a cat basket and has been unravelled, most probably but not necessarily by the cat, enough that it now resembles an extremely disorganised bundlle of straw.
Wagga Wagga
Dunx - A dog whose enthusiasm exceeds his coordination, to the point where he will fall over from over-vigorous tail wagging.
Walla Walla
ZK - Exclamation of French origin, uttered on completion of numerous tasks (walla, walla). Popularised by waiters in East London hotels.
Stoke Bruerne
Raak - A commercial colour palette consisting of shades of brick, mud, charcoal, steel, slate, stone, and dark smoke, giving a feeling of old-fashioned industrial vigour and nostalgia for grinding poverty, and a turning away from modern technology. Matching motifs are belching smokestacks, minehead machinery, cobbled streets, and muted brass bands in the distance. Stoke Bruerne has been
scheduled to be the fashionable colour scheme for clothes, home furnishings, and mobile phones in Autumn 2006.
Deopham (pron. Deef'm)
Raak - (
This is the link I meant to use, not the ICC.)
widey -
A rather large rancid piece of meat from the belly of an old sow Deepdale
KH - 'Carry On' actor Jim's younger brother
Okehampton
KH - New brand of low-fat salad dressing
Camborne
LotUS - To lie on one's back and float gently down the river, wherever the currents and eddies may take you.
Ratnapura
Raak - A butter-like substance made from rats, used as a skin conditioner, lamp oil, bearing grease, moustache wax, or eaten as butter spread on crisped rat skins.
Omsk
widey - Omsk is the fighting stance adopted by 2 Bull Elephant Seals before doing battle. Also the slang for the pose adopted by Tina Turner before launching inot a rendition of "Simply the best"
Earby
Gusset Login - A rare stinging insect that makes it's home inside the aural canal of larger animals. Generally only detected as a quiet buzzing.
Moscow
Raak - Resentful at the existence of people who are younger, happier, and wealthier than you will ever be.
Minsk
Dunx - The pinching sensation in a delicate location caused by a pair of stretch underpants which fitted perfectly when bought but which, ten years and twenty pounds later, are now at the limit of their elasticity.
Frimley
Software - That piece of a sticky price tag that simply cannot be removed from a purchase when you are trying to wrap it as a present for someone.
Crudwell
Raak - The stage name of a female wrestler (lit. "The Rock-ess") who performed in the Paris vaudeville at the turn of the last century.
Portumna
Dunx - The slight hesitation before saying "Yes" to another glass of port, composed in varying parts of politeness, greed, embarrassment, and fear of being pulled over by the police on the way home.
Denio
Angus Prune - Material for making bootleg designer jeans (Kevin Klein etc)
Newport Pagnell
Gusset Login - The aftertaste that comes from drinking fortified wine before it's properly matured
Basingstoke
Software - That inexplicable feeling of utter desolation and loneliness.
Sherston
Dunx - An intense sensation of memetic isolation or disconnectedness provoked by the realisation that everyone has been playing a game, singing a song, or dancing a dance which you have been entirely unaware of.
Clackamas
widey -
A selection of bell hammers ( or collection of clacks) as used by campanologists to creat different sounds using the same set of bells! Minsk
Ziggy - That sort of pinky-grey meat with little nodules of gristle in found in Happy Shopper sausages and cheap burgers, the origin of which is, at best, dubious.
Hindlip
Raak - A deformity of the rectal sphincter.
Clashfern
Kim - A violent dispute between Polypodiopsidae
Strood
Rosie - To walk in a vulgar or suggestive manner.
Totnes
widey -
A legendary Scotish Loch famed for being haunted by the spirits of piggmy like children or highland faries! Garstang
JLE - Garstang (n.) A rare throat complaint, occurring the minute one tries to articulate something important (such as a marriage proposal, job application, or complaint to the manager of a shop), which mysteriously clears up immediately upon leaving the presence of the person you were trying to talk to.
Abergele
Raak - Medical slang, used to keep the patient in the dark, for ointment applied to the rear end. ("Aber" being German for "but", geddit?)
Uist
KH - Estuary English contraction for "You Are"
Truro
Gusset Login - The line in a newspaper column that makes the conjecture of the rest of the article seem to be fact.
Swarraton
Dunx - The particular species of mangled curse words uttered when a very heavy weight lands on a sensitive part and you are too angry to even swear properly.
Clatskanie
JLE - If you are knitting, and manage to drop both needles at once in such a way that they drop most or all of the stitches, as a consequence of which the item you are knitting immediately becomes unravelled into several long strings of thread and forces you to start again from the beginning, you are said to have committed a "clatskanie".
Kirkuk
Deek - The Russian name for the polo mint, as polo means something rather rude in Russian.
Shifnal
Raak - The way a perfectly innocent person looks when taking part in a police identity parade.
Culbokie
Dunx - A small bird not unlike a sparrow, but with the ant-like ability to lift a hundred times its own body weight. It is not known how this is accomplished, but it is used by the bird to make secure mountain nesting sites burrowing into a hillside then placing a huge boulder in front of the hole.
The creature is becoming a pest since it started to make nests in multistorey car parks which closely resemble its mountain home in bleakness and the availability of boulders (also known as "cars").
Killarney
Rosie - Californian liberal's view of Schwarzenegger.
Andover
Dujon - Modesty.
Woolloomooloo
KH - Combined sheep and cattle toilets
Witheridge
Bigsmith - The effects brought about by extreme cold/alcohol/age (delete as applicable, unless you are an old Scottish drunk) on the "gentlemans's trouser department".
Goonhilly
JLE - The madness of the long-distance walker.
Vladivostok
Raak - The reason that your car won't start and needs spending £300 to get it running again.
Langwathby
st dogmael - auld scots/golf: a par 5 over 560 yards on a links course.
Eglwswrw
Uncle Korky - Either
1. The only sound one is capable of the morning after a night clubbing.
2. The noise generated by a small child when confronted by Brussels sprouts.
Canewdon
Raak - A secluded place by the bank of a river in the grounds of a Canadian university where elderly faculty go for nude sunbathing.
Sligo
Rosie - Shorthand domestic phrase, as in "that's the front door - sligo, or will you?"
Stoke Mandeville
Dujon - A free sample offered by a drug dealer to a new client.
(Basically meaning 'It's grass - on the house, man').Shetland
Bigsmith - Old Scottish. Being in that state of badly needing a poo but having nowhere suitable to do the deed.
Durham
widey - Boiled ham that has started to turn a bright green colour
Portmulgrave
Raak - A formerly thriving coastal town which no longer has any reason to exist, having no significant trade, natural resources, historical remains, or scenic vistas, nor being on the way to anywhere else. The East Anglian coast contains many portmulgraves.
Auchtermuchtie
Darren - The traditional cry of someone whose hot teacup has overflowed while they were holding it.
Langwathby
Dunx - An extra long napkin used on the laps of those who are prone to Auchtermucties.
Wauna
JLE - Like a sauna, but lukewarm and with considerably less steam. Generally used when it isn't cold enough to snow outside, either. Believed to be a peculiarly British invention.
Angmagssalik
Gusset Login - The unintelligable sounds made when you suddenly discover that the drink you've just had was a lot stronger than expected
Totford
Raak - Unable to pay bills, due to excessive procreation in recent years.
Egremont
Rosie - A euphemistic catchphrase-type word for shit.
Pimlico
Bigsmith - Posh alcholic ice-cream product.
Knokke-Heist
JLE - (German) A description for the *polite* type of bank job. The kind that DOESN'T blow the bloody doors off.
Brisbane
widey - A cocktail of laxative products designed to clear out the most stubborn of bowels.....Also the slang term used for an out of work Bristish ex-pat forced to survive via the Australian social security system!
KH - A quantity of builder's materials
Exeter
Flix - What was once a word meaning to dissuade the user from employing the letter 'd'. (Come on, think about it...) Pickering
KH - Disgusting habit involving klingon removal
Flookborough
Flix - A wart protruding downwards from a facial extremity by more than 4 millitres.
Stanstead
Tuj - The feeling you get when alone in the dark and see a shadow move... and then realise it's you own.
Gweek
Software - Where Jonathan Ross goes on holiday
Crudwell
Raak - Any space where rubbish tends to accumulate and is too much trouble to ever clean properly: behind the cooker, underneath the wardrobe, and the entire interior of a family car.
Barrow-in-Furness
JLE - A hired gardener's excuse for the fact that, after you've left him to do a day's work in the garden, nothing appears to have changed at all apart from the fact that all the weeds are one millimetre taller.
Ankara
widey - An area of land made available to those seeking sanctuary from the daily grind of life (or the tax man). The isle of man was once described as the great ANKARA of the northwest! Lords is also an ANKARA, but only when its raining and no cricket is being played.
Papworth
Dujon - Nice teats.    
I'm leaving, ... yes ... now, really, ... now .... *sound effect of door closing*Fleetwood
Robin - North Country expression meaning to escape from the forest.
Hagley
CdM - Prone to bargaining
Bukit Timah
Raak - The hat placed by a beggar or street musician to collect donations.
Schleswig-Holstein
widey - A type of Bavarian cow which produces cheese or cream straight from its "Papworths". Its hide is also much sought after for the production of wigs. The type used in court rooms!
Hexam
Robin - To cast an evil spell on others.
Kidderminster
Flix - A cathedral which serves only young goats. Missisippi
Software - The spouse of a social drop-out or new-age traveller.
Brinksworth
JLE - One who never bargains, haggles or compromises, on anything. You cannot have a discussion with such a person, only a flaming row. (cf.
Paisley, the opposite of
Hagley (see above).)
Chewton Mendip
Raak - A superfluous piece of flesh hanging off the face of a very old person.
Omagh
Tuj - South US exclamation.
Raak] Lovely!Ipswich
Nebs - Trendy method of turning on the lights
Basildon
Dunx - Barry is well again.
Shipley
Rosie - In a nautical manner.
Maidstone
Raak - A charm for protecting one's virginity.
Dun Laoghaire
JLE - (Pron. "Dunleary"): Technical term for someone who is so drunk they can't even ogle.
Tralee
Snodgrass - (Pron Trali) Australian wheeled cart used in sheep stations for removal of fleeces after sheering
Chapmanslade
Tina - Jelly used to relieve "athlete's itch."
Tuscaloosa
Raak - Elephant dentist.
Lisbon
widey - The complimentary sweets left on your hotel room pillow. Often foul tasting and made of mocolate (pretend chocolate).
Tintwistle
KH - Yorkshire dialect for "It is not a whistle"
Nottingham
Rosie - New non-invasive form of vasectomy.
Brasted
Software - One of those plastic thingies used in lingery shop windows to display female underwear.
Acton Turville
Rosie - Pretending to be a great Welsh baritone.
(Softers) Unfortunately it's "Bray-sted". :-(Craven Arms
Tina - The feeling of really really needing a hug.
Selma
Raak - The name of a brand of salt substitute consisting of small white crystals but otherwise having nothing in common with salt.
Midgeley
Software - A village half way between Uppergeley and Lowergeley.
Acton Turville
Rosie - You've just
done that, you old codger. 'Ave anuvver go, mate. :-)
Software - Have I? Showing my age. :-(
Let's try:
Upper Seagry
Raak - Losing the contents of one's digestive system through the upper end, due to seasickness. The more inconvenient
Lower Seagry is fortunately less common.
Tirstrup
Dunx - A narrow band of cloth used to bind the feet after removing after removing an inconvenient thorn, drawing pin or Stickle Brick. The middle of the band is wrapped around the affected area of foot, then the loose ends are criss-crossed around the ankle and lower leg to above the point of the calf where they are knotted. A tirstrup is sturdy (it won't come off even if worn under heavy boots) and can act as a tourniquet if necessary (should the would be the result of snake bite, say).
Derwent
JLE - The technical definition of a long hike in heavy rain, usually through inhospitable moorland or over inconveniently large hills, either done by an organised group of people (almost invariably the Ramblers' Association) or over a route well-known enough to have become famous as a long-distance hike in its own right (e.g. the Pennine Way). Ian Botham's famous
derwent from John O'Groats to Land's End raised masses of money for leukaemia research, but caused him to do enough long-term damage to his legs and lower back so as to pretty much ruin his cricket career a few years later. He was never the same player again.
Madrid
Software - Thad fit of peak whereby you throw out a load of junk during a tidying session, only to regret it later.
Pinkney
JLE - The knuckle of your little finger.
Murmansk
Raak - A satisfied semi-somnolent noise made while partaking of a glass of pleasantly strong liqueur in front of a blazing fire on a winter evening.
Edeltoft
Blob - The filling inside the most expensive and luxurious of Norwegian duvets.
Garway
Ella - A border town so named at the turn of the 17th Century due to the townsmens vocalised dislike of visitors.
Ella - Chiswick (Sorry senior moment)
Software - A scented candle used during esoteric Chinese therapy sessions.
Yatton Keynell
Raak - A sudden panic experienced when you arrive home from a three-week holiday in foreign climes, and realise that you have no idea where your house keys are.
Ootacamund
Tuj - A minor disease, caused by impotence.
Nacton
widey - An micro particle, made up of nuclear/radiocative salt. In its natural state it is deemed to be quite harmless but once processed becomes unstable! In this form it is used as the main flavouring for Knick-Knacks!
Edale
JLE - Cheese flavoured with beer.
Kirk Yetholm
Bob the dog - A retirement home for starship captains.
St. Dogmaels
JLE - The resting place of the self-declared patron saint of Mornington Crescent. (Or, at least, it WILL be, when I catch up with the bugger. *evil grin*)
Otago
widey - The African name for a label or name tag, often seen attached to small school children whilst visiting a place of interest on a school trip!
Cebu
Raak - A Romanian brand of hair oil.
Iskandriya
Software - A device for removing condensation from tinnies freshly removed from the fridge.
Dursley
Deek - A 1920's dance that, for a short time, rivalled the Charlston. Unfortunately, due to a high number of sprained ankles, the Dursley faded into obscurity. It enjoyed a short revival in 1933 but the cost of the reinforced ankle boots (required to avoid said ankle problems) made it prohibitive for the working classes.
In 1975, the music for the Dursley was rediscovered by Richard O'Brien and incorporated into his musical 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. He changed the name of the dance and re-wrote some of the choreography but the tune stayed the same.
"Let's do the Dursley again" bacame the world-wide hit "Let's do the Time Warp again".
Mallaig
Raak - Exclamation uttered by a Scotsman marching through the heather, on being bitten by a cleg beetle.
Chorban Suburgan
widey - The work often carried out by middle aged gents (and upwards) on a Sunday and only on a Sunday in suburbs all over the world. Examples of such jobs are; Mowing the lawn, Washing the car, Painting the garden shed or garden fence, fitting a new spoiler to your Morris minor....
Delph
Chalky - The Middle Earth equivalent of a wide-boy-bit-of-a-geezer type creature.
Findo Gask
Raak - Findo Gask was a hobbit who left the stiflingly boring Shire and went to seek his fortune among the southron lands. While the minor northern fracas between some jumped-up hedge-wizards obsessed with an overvalued ring passed by, he was by turns a trader, thief, bandit, horse-dealer, merchant, beggar, mercenary, spy, and many other things, told in a series of richly textured fantasy adventure novels which Tolkien never got around to writing.
Esh Winning
Bif - The malicious premature playing of a winning move in a game on a Mornington Crescent server is formerly known as "Esh Winning". The furore this usually causes amongst the other players is informally known as "Esh Whining".
Ystradfelti
Horatio Townsend - Accusation made against a gentleman who has wrapped his legs around a chair and started touching himself
Chalky - South Wonston is quite near where I live and reminds me of stuff I'd rather not be reminded of. Can someone do it - quick - and put another name in there? Please :-)
Raak - South Wonston was, in fact, the stiflingly boring Shire village from which Findo Gask (qv.) shook off the dust from his heels and never looked back. He would never, ever, speak of the place afterwards, and grew murderously violent with anyone who did. In his declining years, settled in a land where nobody had ever heard of hobbits and taking to drink, he was liable to accost anyone of short stature and hairy feet with the words, "Ye a Wunster, eh? eh? Are yez? ARE YEZ?" and attempt to beat them senseless with a stout walking stick.
Changue
Tuj - To bash the keyboard in frustration as you spot
yet another typo!
[Chalky] Sorry... Where I am (wouldn't say quite near, but not light years) it's colloquial for a long relieving of the bladder. Well, just me really...
Perth
Software - Thomething in whith girlth keep their money and thtuff.
Dauntsey Green
Raak - A village in the Shire known for having a large proportion of gay hobbits.
Great Blasket
Tuj - A rare diving bird found off the coasts of the Scilly Isles, the Great Blasket feeds on tourists, and so its numbers are threatening to grow.
Hugh Town
Dujon - A place where grants are available to the gormless.
Waitara
widey - The thing you have to constantly say to Tara PT when your out shopping for a new Porsche....
Palma
Rosie - Her Majesty's cheese.
Armitage
Raak - A place where a knight makes a solitary vigil the night before a quest.
Gweedere
widey - The Manx name for a gardener who's job it is to remove weeds from flower beds and moss from lawns.
Heyrod
plump - Constables follow up picture that never quite made the grade
Flitwick
Rosie - Awkward sleeping posture.
(plump, Softers) Top stuff!Connah's Quay
Raak - The place where a tourist ferry pulls up, and touts of various sorts try to fleece them.
Cleethorpes
widey - Clee is the old slang word for clay and Thorpes is the old English word for pipe or pipes. Hence, Cleethorpes are Clay-pipes (of the smoking variety)
Blacon
plump - Large round tea bags made for groups rather than the individual ones
Podington
Raak - Podington is the temporary camp set up for the podingers who gather annually for the Great Pode Hunt. What the Pode is is a closely guarded secret.
Whauphill
ZK - A common athletic muscular strain believed to be one of the more easily curable causes of impotence.
Stoke Goldington
widey - Very potent Ganja. It has 4 times the strength of "Skunk Weed" and can make all but the hardiest of users go blind.......Bob Marley used to smoke at least 7ozs of Stoke Goldington a day!!!
Tetbury
plump - A French ostrich farm
Bexwell
Raak - A purported tourist attraction which consists of something rather uninteresting given a picturesque and largely fictitious historical background. For example, a natural spring in a corner of a field that someone put a wall around way back in 1932 and called "Beck's Well".
Dunfermline
widey - The mystical art of laying out (lining out) any large sports arena, playing field. Once finished the head lines man will utter the mystical chant DONE FER MY LINE, which signals the job done and the area is then ready to play on...
Fleetwood
Kim - A type of mac.
Roxbourne
Danno - The principal activity in the Geological Maternity Ward.
Plymouth
Raak - A vocal affliction common among those who ply their wares in the street. To reduce the strain on their voices, they make as little use of the vocal articulatory apparatus as possible, reducing the words to barely recognisable grunts and moans.
Cornwall
Danno - The home-run boundary in the film
Field of Dreams, which would have been shot partly in southwestern England if the local lobby that had the region renamed had been successful. Not specifically mentioned in the film because of the obvious irrelevance of any part of the field more than five feet ahead while Kevin Costner is batting; cf. "Irrigationditchdugout," "Cowdroppingshomeplate," "Nameyourownagriculturalimplementpairedwithbaseballterm," and the particularly ornery "Bullpen."
Leeds
widey - Old English term meaning the meeting place of sheep.
Sandbach
ImNotJohn - A small Welsh bricklayer's mate.
Borrowash
PennyLane - To recycle the bath water, ie putting multiple children in the same bath then using the water to wash the pots afterwards. Also a slang term used for those dodgy memebers of society that pinch ladies underware from washing lines!!
Laxey
Bigsmith - The state of the "Ais Gill" (qv.) after six pints of Winter Warmer and a Dansak Madras.
Biblins
Raak - Multiple chins.
Pomerania
Bigsmith - Australian fascination with all things British, verging on the obsessive.
Down Hatherley
Rosie - Non-clinical depression, Yorkshire style, as in " . . .tha's lookin reet Down 'Atherley".
There's been some good stuff here recently, ignoring this one. :-)Sole Street
Puckoon - A thoroughfare in which most businesses are shoe markers or shoe repairers.
Cobblers
Sir Henry - Sorry - (one day I shall leave HTMHell)
Folkstone
Software - The average pitch of the human voice.
Stroud
Sir Henry - A noisy walking movement
llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch
Dujon - Medical term: speech impediment.
Pontefract
Raak - A bridge that has become unsuitable for HGVs ever since one tried to drive over it.
Wenlock Edge
widey - The secret stash of nasal crumblies (Crows/Bogies) that children often collect under school-desks when a sleeve or handkerchief is not to hand!!
Bolton
Sir Henry - Attached by a mechanical device
[Major Dennis]'tis on the railway sign!
Wirral
Major Dennis Bloodnok, Military Idiot, Coward & Bar - A squirrel with a heavy cold.
[Sir Henry] It may be now, but my 3d (3 old pence) "Souvenir Platform Ticket" (148mm x 50mm) has it as one word. Also I seem to remember that the Guiness Book of Records, (Longest place name in the UK,) has it as one word.
Liskeard
Raak - Adj., descriptive of a beard that is impregnated with saliva, food, and drink, due to its impractical voluminousness and the messy eating habits of its wearer.
Gdansk
penelope - A badly perfomed galloping polka with a man who doesn't realise his own strength. Usually results in a sprained wrist.
Skegness
Sir Henry - The state of being skeggy
[Major Dennis] Aha - but go back a little more in time and it was called simply
"Llanfair Pwllgwyngyll"Devil's Dyke
Rosie - Only used as the past participle,
writtled, meaning old and decayed, like dried leaves etc.
Yeovil (Bloodnok) Llanfair PG is what the locals call it.
Software - Where all the cool dudes live.
Ashton Keyhes
Robin - Not got very far with cutting the grass.
Wookey Hole
Bigsmith - 1. The longest par five on any golf course in Somerset
2. Intimate part of large hairy lady alien's anatomy (coat!)
[Major D/Sir H] LPG?
[Softers] Best one for a while!
Widdenhill
Tuj -
No move, but just lurking and praising Software!
nights - RP reference to the stairs: 'tyme to clymb thee widdenhill to bedforsharr'.
[Bigsmith] no no no no NO!
Walcot
Raak - The proper term for a type of space-saving storage consisting of a curtain of fabric to be hung on a wall, into which are sewn many pockets for storing shoes and the like.
Bere Regis
Rosie - A more potent and tasty version of Lager-and-Lyme Regis.
Er, sorry about that.Fawkham
widey - Bernard Mathews latest TV dinner gimmick in the form of "under" Boiled Ham complete with plastic fork layed to rest in a styrafoam tray on a bed of dodgy cheese. The slogan runs along the lines of " If you can't be botherd with grilling and microwaving is not so thrilling then Fawkham!"............its bootifullllllllllllllllllllll
Denton
Sir Henry - As in 'the Den-ton precedent' - procedural point of law involving cast members of TV soaps and exceeding the speed limit.
Worthing
Raak - Geordie for "Cosa Nostra".
Bootle
Rosie - "Expenses" paid to rugby players in days gone by. (Raak)
Top drawer!Horwich
widey - A female Wizard that makes more money by selling her body than she does casting spells and making potions!
Diggle
Tuj - Dance involving shovels.
[Raak] Bravo!Dorking
Raak - Trainspotter hunting.
Sleaford
plump - A dramatic announcement made by a ventriloquist
Chagford
Raak - A river crossing guarded by a fierce ugly female troll.
Fukuoka
Rosie - To hell with your yellow pigment!
Woolfardisworthy
Sir Henry - Clothing material put aside for a particular and well deserved recipient.
Bristol
ImNotJohn - The weight-throwing competition in
The World's Strongest Man Tissington
Raak - One of the two sides (the other being called
Tissnington) in a dispute that has degenerated into exchanges of "Tis!" and "Tisn't!" Hansard, 6 December 1878: "Uproar in the House, followed by Tissington-Tissnington that continued for fully twenty minutes."
Poznan
Software - Asserting the affermative to noe's grandmother.
Purton
Rosie - Trade jargon, referring to the price of bulk industrial chemicals, eg methanol is about £200 Purton.
(Softers) 'Oo's this noe
, then? Noe needs to know. :-)Mortlake
Software - Yorkshire dialect meaning: "There is still a considerable amount of time before the final whistle."
[Rosie] it were just a tpyo, mate.Blunsdon
Raak - A cock-up, a hash, a pig's breakfast, as in, "You made a right Blunsdon of that, didn't you?" Also, the act of removing with extreme prejudice the person responsible for such an event, or a person marked for such removal. The word comes from Viscount Blunsdon, eldest son of Lord Cox-Bramley, who, rightly fearing that his heir lacked the business acumen to manage the family estates at such time as he might inherit, attempted to train him up by setting him to such tasks as managing the piggery, inspecting the drains, and collecting rent from the tenant farmers, but he displayed a complete lack of competence and initiative at everything his hand was set to. It was during the last of these appointments that he met an untimely end at the bottom of a well. Foul play was never proved, Lord Cox-Bramley's more industrious second son took his place in the line of succession, and everyone was satisfied.
Riveaulx
Sir Henry - Norman word - the acts of removing permissions
Horsted Keynes
plump - A new development of small fields built on a grid layout for race horses which will be available as soon as the unsightly houses on the site can be demolished
Lambeth
Mr J - Affectionately named ewe.
Chesterfield
Software - Named after the famous revolutionary meaning "The place where terrorism is carried out" The final truncation being largely due to the slurring applied by George Dubya
Westonbirt
Raak - Someone who gives directions in terms of compass points, disregarding the existence of walls, buildings, railway lines, rivers, oceans, and all the other obstructions in the places where the roads aren't, that make it a physical impossibility to "go west for a few miles, then bear north, and you can't miss it".
Trabzon
Robin - Expression uttered by northeners whenever Rab is seen posting here.
Blakedown
st dogmael - The Japanese equivalent of the AA.
Leighton Buzzard
Rosie - University Challenge contestant with slow reactions.
Louth
Raak - A gum disease of horses.
Snape
Rosie - Very simple quick-fire upper-class card game.
(Raak) Horrible, but good. :-)Stoke Mandeville
Dujon - The position accorded to new arrivals in Hell which involves keeping the fires burning.
Hindhead
Raak - A comic jape which involves thrusting the victim's head into the fundament of a horse.
Ploufragan
Botherer - Corruption of
Plough for a Gran, 18th Century Agricultural competition in which first prize was an elderly relative.
Wyre Piddle
Blob - Molten plastic found inside overheated electrical equipment.
Bothenhampton
Raak - A town-twinning arrangement that absolutely nobody cares about, not even the town councillors who performed the ritual. (From
Böthen, a stereotypical name of a small village in Germany, and
Hampton, the same in England.)
Abruzzi
Puckoon - A nasty/painful dark mark under the skin.
Medellin
Rosie - Getting your sticky fingers into the drug trade.
Bovey Tracey
Chalky - The flamboyant and slightly camp uncle who made a fleeting appearance in the original TV series of
Thunderbirds.
Ampleforth
Irouleguy -
Lancs. dialect Euphemism for an overweight bridge player.
Heckmondwyke
Raak - Someone who heckles and, as the Scots would say, has his gas put on a peep by the wit of the performer's response, is said to be
heckmondwyke. Etymologically, there is buried in the history of the expression a derogatory reference to oral sex.
Potters Bar
Botherer - When a snooker player inadvertantly targets the wrong colour, he is said to be suffering from
Potters Bar.
Bude
stehvelo - - the mild mental confusion experienced when confronting foreign plumbing for the first time
SANAIGMORE
Raak - A "snymer" (to suggest its correct pronunciation) is someone who delights in vexing other people by having a surname that no-one can spell from hearing it.
Mornington
Botherer - Something that stehvelo's foreign plumbing would struggle with.
Crescent, IO
Tuj - A sort of curvy shape. Didn't you know tat, Botherer?
*Sharpens axe* Any objections?
Dujon - Yes. We await your move.
Botherer - [Tuj] Anyone who sees my wardrobe knows that I know tat.
nights - do it, do it, do it, do it...
Tuj - Botherer] Frantastic.
Audience -
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Tuj*
This is the end of the line. There is no more.