An old favourite from the Douglas Adams stable, well-known to anyone familiar with Pants MC. The game of giving dictionary definitions to place names. Please define the place provided by the previous player, and then post one of your own.
Software - The spouse of a social drop-out or new-age traveller.
Brinksworth
JLE - One who never bargains, haggles or compromises, on anything. You cannot have a discussion with such a person, only a flaming row. (cf.
Paisley, the opposite of
Hagley (see above).)
Chewton Mendip
Raak - A superfluous piece of flesh hanging off the face of a very old person.
Omagh
Tuj - South US exclamation.
Raak] Lovely!Ipswich
Nebs - Trendy method of turning on the lights
Basildon
Dunx - Barry is well again.
Shipley
Rosie - In a nautical manner.
Maidstone
Raak - A charm for protecting one's virginity.
Dun Laoghaire
JLE - (Pron. "Dunleary"): Technical term for someone who is so drunk they can't even ogle.
Tralee
Snodgrass - (Pron Trali) Australian wheeled cart used in sheep stations for removal of fleeces after sheering
Chapmanslade
Tina - Jelly used to relieve "athlete's itch."
Tuscaloosa
Raak - Elephant dentist.
Lisbon
widey - The complimentary sweets left on your hotel room pillow. Often foul tasting and made of mocolate (pretend chocolate).
Tintwistle
KH - Yorkshire dialect for "It is not a whistle"
Nottingham
Rosie - New non-invasive form of vasectomy.
Brasted
Software - One of those plastic thingies used in lingery shop windows to display female underwear.
Acton Turville
Rosie - Pretending to be a great Welsh baritone.
(Softers) Unfortunately it's "Bray-sted". :-(Craven Arms
Tina - The feeling of really really needing a hug.
Selma
Raak - The name of a brand of salt substitute consisting of small white crystals but otherwise having nothing in common with salt.
Midgeley
Software - A village half way between Uppergeley and Lowergeley.
Acton Turville
Rosie - You've just
done that, you old codger. 'Ave anuvver go, mate. :-)
Software - Have I? Showing my age. :-(
Let's try:
Upper Seagry
Raak - Losing the contents of one's digestive system through the upper end, due to seasickness. The more inconvenient
Lower Seagry is fortunately less common.
Tirstrup
Dunx - A narrow band of cloth used to bind the feet after removing after removing an inconvenient thorn, drawing pin or Stickle Brick. The middle of the band is wrapped around the affected area of foot, then the loose ends are criss-crossed around the ankle and lower leg to above the point of the calf where they are knotted. A tirstrup is sturdy (it won't come off even if worn under heavy boots) and can act as a tourniquet if necessary (should the would be the result of snake bite, say).
Derwent
JLE - The technical definition of a long hike in heavy rain, usually through inhospitable moorland or over inconveniently large hills, either done by an organised group of people (almost invariably the Ramblers' Association) or over a route well-known enough to have become famous as a long-distance hike in its own right (e.g. the Pennine Way). Ian Botham's famous
derwent from John O'Groats to Land's End raised masses of money for leukaemia research, but caused him to do enough long-term damage to his legs and lower back so as to pretty much ruin his cricket career a few years later. He was never the same player again.
Madrid
Software - Thad fit of peak whereby you throw out a load of junk during a tidying session, only to regret it later.
Pinkney
JLE - The knuckle of your little finger.
Murmansk
Raak - A satisfied semi-somnolent noise made while partaking of a glass of pleasantly strong liqueur in front of a blazing fire on a winter evening.
Edeltoft
Blob - The filling inside the most expensive and luxurious of Norwegian duvets.
Garway
Ella - A border town so named at the turn of the 17th Century due to the townsmens vocalised dislike of visitors.
Ella - Chiswick (Sorry senior moment)
Software - A scented candle used during esoteric Chinese therapy sessions.
Yatton Keynell
Raak - A sudden panic experienced when you arrive home from a three-week holiday in foreign climes, and realise that you have no idea where your house keys are.
Ootacamund
Tuj - A minor disease, caused by impotence.
Nacton
widey - An micro particle, made up of nuclear/radiocative salt. In its natural state it is deemed to be quite harmless but once processed becomes unstable! In this form it is used as the main flavouring for Knick-Knacks!
Edale
JLE - Cheese flavoured with beer.
Kirk Yetholm
Bob the dog - A retirement home for starship captains.
St. Dogmaels
JLE - The resting place of the self-declared patron saint of Mornington Crescent. (Or, at least, it WILL be, when I catch up with the bugger. *evil grin*)
Otago
widey - The African name for a label or name tag, often seen attached to small school children whilst visiting a place of interest on a school trip!
Cebu
Raak - A Romanian brand of hair oil.
Iskandriya
Software - A device for removing condensation from tinnies freshly removed from the fridge.
Dursley
Deek - A 1920's dance that, for a short time, rivalled the Charlston. Unfortunately, due to a high number of sprained ankles, the Dursley faded into obscurity. It enjoyed a short revival in 1933 but the cost of the reinforced ankle boots (required to avoid said ankle problems) made it prohibitive for the working classes.
In 1975, the music for the Dursley was rediscovered by Richard O'Brien and incorporated into his musical 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show'. He changed the name of the dance and re-wrote some of the choreography but the tune stayed the same.
"Let's do the Dursley again" bacame the world-wide hit "Let's do the Time Warp again".
Mallaig
Raak - Exclamation uttered by a Scotsman marching through the heather, on being bitten by a cleg beetle.
Chorban Suburgan
widey - The work often carried out by middle aged gents (and upwards) on a Sunday and only on a Sunday in suburbs all over the world. Examples of such jobs are; Mowing the lawn, Washing the car, Painting the garden shed or garden fence, fitting a new spoiler to your Morris minor....
Delph
Chalky - The Middle Earth equivalent of a wide-boy-bit-of-a-geezer type creature.
Findo Gask
Raak - Findo Gask was a hobbit who left the stiflingly boring Shire and went to seek his fortune among the southron lands. While the minor northern fracas between some jumped-up hedge-wizards obsessed with an overvalued ring passed by, he was by turns a trader, thief, bandit, horse-dealer, merchant, beggar, mercenary, spy, and many other things, told in a series of richly textured fantasy adventure novels which Tolkien never got around to writing.
Esh Winning
Bif - The malicious premature playing of a winning move in a game on a Mornington Crescent server is formerly known as "Esh Winning". The furore this usually causes amongst the other players is informally known as "Esh Whining".
Ystradfelti
Horatio Townsend - Accusation made against a gentleman who has wrapped his legs around a chair and started touching himself
Chalky - South Wonston is quite near where I live and reminds me of stuff I'd rather not be reminded of. Can someone do it - quick - and put another name in there? Please :-)
Raak - South Wonston was, in fact, the stiflingly boring Shire village from which Findo Gask (qv.) shook off the dust from his heels and never looked back. He would never, ever, speak of the place afterwards, and grew murderously violent with anyone who did. In his declining years, settled in a land where nobody had ever heard of hobbits and taking to drink, he was liable to accost anyone of short stature and hairy feet with the words, "Ye a Wunster, eh? eh? Are yez? ARE YEZ?" and attempt to beat them senseless with a stout walking stick.
Changue
Tuj - To bash the keyboard in frustration as you spot
yet another typo!
[Chalky] Sorry... Where I am (wouldn't say quite near, but not light years) it's colloquial for a long relieving of the bladder. Well, just me really...
Perth
Software - Thomething in whith girlth keep their money and thtuff.
Dauntsey Green
Raak - A village in the Shire known for having a large proportion of gay hobbits.
Great Blasket
Tuj - A rare diving bird found off the coasts of the Scilly Isles, the Great Blasket feeds on tourists, and so its numbers are threatening to grow.
Hugh Town
Dujon - A place where grants are available to the gormless.
Waitara
widey - The thing you have to constantly say to Tara PT when your out shopping for a new Porsche....
Palma
Rosie - Her Majesty's cheese.
Armitage
Raak - A place where a knight makes a solitary vigil the night before a quest.
Gweedere
widey - The Manx name for a gardener who's job it is to remove weeds from flower beds and moss from lawns.
Heyrod
plump - Constables follow up picture that never quite made the grade
Flitwick
Rosie - Awkward sleeping posture.
(plump, Softers) Top stuff!Connah's Quay
Raak - The place where a tourist ferry pulls up, and touts of various sorts try to fleece them.
Cleethorpes
widey - Clee is the old slang word for clay and Thorpes is the old English word for pipe or pipes. Hence, Cleethorpes are Clay-pipes (of the smoking variety)
Blacon
plump - Large round tea bags made for groups rather than the individual ones
Podington
Raak - Podington is the temporary camp set up for the podingers who gather annually for the Great Pode Hunt. What the Pode is is a closely guarded secret.
Whauphill
ZK - A common athletic muscular strain believed to be one of the more easily curable causes of impotence.
Stoke Goldington
widey - Very potent Ganja. It has 4 times the strength of "Skunk Weed" and can make all but the hardiest of users go blind.......Bob Marley used to smoke at least 7ozs of Stoke Goldington a day!!!
Tetbury
plump - A French ostrich farm
Bexwell
Raak - A purported tourist attraction which consists of something rather uninteresting given a picturesque and largely fictitious historical background. For example, a natural spring in a corner of a field that someone put a wall around way back in 1932 and called "Beck's Well".
Dunfermline
widey - The mystical art of laying out (lining out) any large sports arena, playing field. Once finished the head lines man will utter the mystical chant DONE FER MY LINE, which signals the job done and the area is then ready to play on...
Fleetwood
Kim - A type of mac.
Roxbourne
Danno - The principal activity in the Geological Maternity Ward.
Plymouth
Raak - A vocal affliction common among those who ply their wares in the street. To reduce the strain on their voices, they make as little use of the vocal articulatory apparatus as possible, reducing the words to barely recognisable grunts and moans.
Cornwall
Danno - The home-run boundary in the film
Field of Dreams, which would have been shot partly in southwestern England if the local lobby that had the region renamed had been successful. Not specifically mentioned in the film because of the obvious irrelevance of any part of the field more than five feet ahead while Kevin Costner is batting; cf. "Irrigationditchdugout," "Cowdroppingshomeplate," "Nameyourownagriculturalimplementpairedwithbaseballterm," and the particularly ornery "Bullpen."
Leeds
widey - Old English term meaning the meeting place of sheep.
Sandbach
ImNotJohn - A small Welsh bricklayer's mate.
Borrowash
PennyLane - To recycle the bath water, ie putting multiple children in the same bath then using the water to wash the pots afterwards. Also a slang term used for those dodgy memebers of society that pinch ladies underware from washing lines!!
Laxey
Bigsmith - The state of the "Ais Gill" (qv.) after six pints of Winter Warmer and a Dansak Madras.
Biblins
Raak - Multiple chins.
Pomerania
Bigsmith - Australian fascination with all things British, verging on the obsessive.
Down Hatherley
Rosie - Non-clinical depression, Yorkshire style, as in " . . .tha's lookin reet Down 'Atherley".
There's been some good stuff here recently, ignoring this one. :-)Sole Street
Puckoon - A thoroughfare in which most businesses are shoe markers or shoe repairers.
Cobblers
Sir Henry - Sorry - (one day I shall leave HTMHell)
Folkstone
Software - The average pitch of the human voice.
Stroud
Sir Henry - A noisy walking movement
llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch
Dujon - Medical term: speech impediment.
Pontefract
Raak - A bridge that has become unsuitable for HGVs ever since one tried to drive over it.
Wenlock Edge
widey - The secret stash of nasal crumblies (Crows/Bogies) that children often collect under school-desks when a sleeve or handkerchief is not to hand!!
Bolton
Sir Henry - Attached by a mechanical device
[Major Dennis]'tis on the railway sign!
Wirral
Major Dennis Bloodnok, Military Idiot, Coward & Bar - A squirrel with a heavy cold.
[Sir Henry] It may be now, but my 3d (3 old pence) "Souvenir Platform Ticket" (148mm x 50mm) has it as one word. Also I seem to remember that the Guiness Book of Records, (Longest place name in the UK,) has it as one word.
Liskeard
Raak - Adj., descriptive of a beard that is impregnated with saliva, food, and drink, due to its impractical voluminousness and the messy eating habits of its wearer.
Gdansk
penelope - A badly perfomed galloping polka with a man who doesn't realise his own strength. Usually results in a sprained wrist.
Skegness
Sir Henry - The state of being skeggy
[Major Dennis] Aha - but go back a little more in time and it was called simply
"Llanfair Pwllgwyngyll"Devil's Dyke
Rosie - Only used as the past participle,
writtled, meaning old and decayed, like dried leaves etc.
Yeovil (Bloodnok) Llanfair PG is what the locals call it.
Software - Where all the cool dudes live.
Ashton Keyhes
Robin - Not got very far with cutting the grass.
Wookey Hole
Bigsmith - 1. The longest par five on any golf course in Somerset
2. Intimate part of large hairy lady alien's anatomy (coat!)
[Major D/Sir H] LPG?
[Softers] Best one for a while!
Widdenhill
Tuj -
No move, but just lurking and praising Software!
nights - RP reference to the stairs: 'tyme to clymb thee widdenhill to bedforsharr'.
[Bigsmith] no no no no NO!
Walcot
Raak - The proper term for a type of space-saving storage consisting of a curtain of fabric to be hung on a wall, into which are sewn many pockets for storing shoes and the like.
Bere Regis
Rosie - A more potent and tasty version of Lager-and-Lyme Regis.
Er, sorry about that.Fawkham
widey - Bernard Mathews latest TV dinner gimmick in the form of "under" Boiled Ham complete with plastic fork layed to rest in a styrafoam tray on a bed of dodgy cheese. The slogan runs along the lines of " If you can't be botherd with grilling and microwaving is not so thrilling then Fawkham!"............its bootifullllllllllllllllllllll
Denton
Sir Henry - As in 'the Den-ton precedent' - procedural point of law involving cast members of TV soaps and exceeding the speed limit.
Worthing
Raak - Geordie for "Cosa Nostra".
Bootle
Rosie - "Expenses" paid to rugby players in days gone by. (Raak)
Top drawer!Horwich
widey - A female Wizard that makes more money by selling her body than she does casting spells and making potions!
Diggle
Tuj - Dance involving shovels.
[Raak] Bravo!Dorking
Raak - Trainspotter hunting.
Sleaford
plump - A dramatic announcement made by a ventriloquist
Chagford
Raak - A river crossing guarded by a fierce ugly female troll.
Fukuoka
Rosie - To hell with your yellow pigment!
Woolfardisworthy
Sir Henry - Clothing material put aside for a particular and well deserved recipient.
Bristol
ImNotJohn - The weight-throwing competition in
The World's Strongest Man Tissington
Raak - One of the two sides (the other being called
Tissnington) in a dispute that has degenerated into exchanges of "Tis!" and "Tisn't!" Hansard, 6 December 1878: "Uproar in the House, followed by Tissington-Tissnington that continued for fully twenty minutes."
Poznan
Software - Asserting the affermative to noe's grandmother.
Purton
Rosie - Trade jargon, referring to the price of bulk industrial chemicals, eg methanol is about £200 Purton.
(Softers) 'Oo's this noe
, then? Noe needs to know. :-)Mortlake
Software - Yorkshire dialect meaning: "There is still a considerable amount of time before the final whistle."
[Rosie] it were just a tpyo, mate.Blunsdon
Raak - A cock-up, a hash, a pig's breakfast, as in, "You made a right Blunsdon of that, didn't you?" Also, the act of removing with extreme prejudice the person responsible for such an event, or a person marked for such removal. The word comes from Viscount Blunsdon, eldest son of Lord Cox-Bramley, who, rightly fearing that his heir lacked the business acumen to manage the family estates at such time as he might inherit, attempted to train him up by setting him to such tasks as managing the piggery, inspecting the drains, and collecting rent from the tenant farmers, but he displayed a complete lack of competence and initiative at everything his hand was set to. It was during the last of these appointments that he met an untimely end at the bottom of a well. Foul play was never proved, Lord Cox-Bramley's more industrious second son took his place in the line of succession, and everyone was satisfied.
Riveaulx
Sir Henry - Norman word - the acts of removing permissions
Horsted Keynes
plump - A new development of small fields built on a grid layout for race horses which will be available as soon as the unsightly houses on the site can be demolished
Lambeth
Mr J - Affectionately named ewe.
Chesterfield
Software - Named after the famous revolutionary meaning "The place where terrorism is carried out" The final truncation being largely due to the slurring applied by George Dubya
Westonbirt
Raak - Someone who gives directions in terms of compass points, disregarding the existence of walls, buildings, railway lines, rivers, oceans, and all the other obstructions in the places where the roads aren't, that make it a physical impossibility to "go west for a few miles, then bear north, and you can't miss it".
Trabzon
Robin - Expression uttered by northeners whenever Rab is seen posting here.
Blakedown
st dogmael - The Japanese equivalent of the AA.
Leighton Buzzard
Rosie - University Challenge contestant with slow reactions.
Louth
Raak - A gum disease of horses.
Snape
Rosie - Very simple quick-fire upper-class card game.
(Raak) Horrible, but good. :-)Stoke Mandeville
Dujon - The position accorded to new arrivals in Hell which involves keeping the fires burning.
Hindhead
Raak - A comic jape which involves thrusting the victim's head into the fundament of a horse.
Ploufragan
Botherer - Corruption of
Plough for a Gran, 18th Century Agricultural competition in which first prize was an elderly relative.
Wyre Piddle
Blob - Molten plastic found inside overheated electrical equipment.
Bothenhampton
Raak - A town-twinning arrangement that absolutely nobody cares about, not even the town councillors who performed the ritual. (From
Böthen, a stereotypical name of a small village in Germany, and
Hampton, the same in England.)
Abruzzi
Puckoon - A nasty/painful dark mark under the skin.
Medellin
Rosie - Getting your sticky fingers into the drug trade.
Bovey Tracey
Chalky - The flamboyant and slightly camp uncle who made a fleeting appearance in the original TV series of
Thunderbirds.
Ampleforth
Irouleguy -
Lancs. dialect Euphemism for an overweight bridge player.
Heckmondwyke
Raak - Someone who heckles and, as the Scots would say, has his gas put on a peep by the wit of the performer's response, is said to be
heckmondwyke. Etymologically, there is buried in the history of the expression a derogatory reference to oral sex.
Potters Bar
Botherer - When a snooker player inadvertantly targets the wrong colour, he is said to be suffering from
Potters Bar.
Bude
stehvelo - - the mild mental confusion experienced when confronting foreign plumbing for the first time
SANAIGMORE
Raak - A "snymer" (to suggest its correct pronunciation) is someone who delights in vexing other people by having a surname that no-one can spell from hearing it.
Mornington
Botherer - Something that stehvelo's foreign plumbing would struggle with.
Crescent, IO
Tuj - A sort of curvy shape. Didn't you know tat, Botherer?
*Sharpens axe* Any objections?
Dujon - Yes. We await your move.
Botherer - [Tuj] Anyone who sees my wardrobe knows that I know tat.
nights - do it, do it, do it, do it...
Tuj - Botherer] Frantastic.
Audience -
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for Tuj*
This is the end of the line. There is no more.