..."The Suburbanites" formed a cohesive plan for world domination. They would...

... first establish a supersecret underground base in an uninhabited island in the Pacific. Unfortunately, the construction of the base triggered the long dormant volcano into activity, causing ...

...an entire volcanic chain to erupt as the Pacific and Nazca tectonic plates pulled apart. Enough ash was thrown into the atmosphere to cast the whole Earth into darkness...

...leaving the way open for moles to establish dominance over humans. The moles forced humans into slavery, digging vast networks of tunnels underground, until the stability of the Earth's crust was reduced so much that the whole surface of the earth collapsed inwards...

...the increasing mass and gravity of the centre of the earth overcame nuclear forces and not only sucked in the remaining mass of the earth into an area the size of a football, but also dragged in nearby neighbouring planets and the sun, meaning...

...the entire universe was about to do down the plughole. God...

...took one look at the situation and decided to power down reality, so he quickly pulled the power cable out of the reality server rack...

...and an errant spark from the socket started a fire amongst the rest of the equipment. In an instant...

... several hundred million other universes also vanished. "Bugger it," said God, as he rummaged for backup disks. Unfortunately, he loaded...

...himself with too much weight, and his back went into an extremely painful spasm. Because of this, his deputy had to take over the task of rebooting all the various universes, and unfortunately that deputy turned out to be...

...The Hornèd One, himself. Empowered by such a task, he decided to replace our universe with...

... the one that is made up mostly of anti-matter and where time runs ...

... sideways and is made up mostly of anti-matter and where time runs ...

... chaotically and xj frhjibbb gnk!xiiii %*( bifurcation point :::

:::...The maths classroom was hushed except for the hurried tapping sound of chalk on a blackboard and whispering from the back. The teacher spun around and flung the piece of:::
:::...white chalk at the culprit...
:::...red chalk at the culprit...

:::...Gnngxu looked around him. How did he get here? And what was that strange:::
:::...pink thing with all the appendages...
:::...green thing with all the appendages...

:::... who ducked sideways pushing the girl next to him off her chair…
:::... which missed his head and hit the back wall splintering into a million pieces showering the asmatic boy below in a shower of dust...

:::... and bit into the McDonald quarter pounder...
:::...and throwing disgusting red lumps of squerk at his head ...

Attempting reunification...
:::... causing laughter, the likes of which nobody had heard since...

...due to the fact that the combined laughter produced a frequency resulting in worldwide deafness. No longer able to hear, world leaders...

...people ran for cover and the safety of Mornington Crescent.