Is everyone here for the editorial meeting? Ok, good. Heavy news week this week, so only the best stories are going to get space. We'll start with Cheddar Headlines. Ten words max, and the headline can be self-explanatory as in 'The Independent', or horrendously convoluted, as in, erm, The Cheesy Headline Game. Once the headline is finished, I'd like a few words containing the story in a news style, please. Subs, clear your desks, and let's get the presses rolling. Spike it once we reach the usual back page move.
A startling turn of events led to the collapse yesterday of Faria the Foxhound, on the stage at the annual convention of Canines without Borders, being held at the Hydrant Hotel. Faria, President of the organization, who was voted Top Dog at last year's convention, was apparently very alarmed to hear the statistics on the global feline population explosion presented by conventioneer Salma Saluki. In his comments following Saluki's presentation, Faria commented, "Make no bones about it, these felines threaten us and are the bane of our existence! What is more, they think they're the cat's meow. And what is even worse, we don't have the necessary funds in our kitty to combat this global menace. No, I'm not barking up the wrong tree by thinking so. This is no time for us to pussyfoot around the issue!". Faria got so worked up that he finally fainted from the stress. He was revived and helped to his paws by convention delegates Carlos Chihuahua and Boris Borzoi.