Is everyone here for the editorial meeting? Ok, good. Heavy news week this week, so only the best stories are going to get space. We'll start with Cheddar Headlines. Ten words max, and the headline can be self-explanatory as in 'The Independent', or horrendously convoluted, as in, erm, The Cheesy Headline Game. Once the headline is finished, I'd like a few words containing the story in a news style, please. Subs, clear your desks, and let's get the presses rolling. Spike it once we reach the usual back page move.
'Man about The House' Richard O'Sullivan, the new voice of snooker on TV, was today sacked by the producers of 'Pot Black' after missing an entire frame of play when he dashed into the kitchen to empty two tenners from the pocket of a pair of jeans he had just loaded into the washing machine. More than 50 viewers rang into complain that snooker commentary was actually more interesting with a soundtrack of audience coughing and shuffling than with O'Sullivan's attempted commentary, conatining mostly 'umms' and 'errs'.