Wow, you really do have effigies of the Founder being tortured to death! Just think of the mana the high priests must have got out of that! I can practically feel it radiating from the crucifix!
I really think cheese would be a better combination with the sacramental wine than those dry wafers. Can't you petition the Pope? A nice Brie or Edam, perhaps? Or if it must be Italian, some aged Parmigiano Reggiano would do quite nicely.