And, Of course, as a doctor, if a woman screams during childbirth I know she's faking it. Scientific studies show that the quantities of dopamine released during the birth process render pain impossible while giving birth. It's basically just hysteria and a failure to control the emotions.
And, conversely, I've given birth to three children of my own, and I have to tell all the women listening that my birth process was much more painful than theirs, any day.
And continuing with our popular "Successful Women" series, we are most priveleged today to have with us Ethel Hauskochen, the author of "How to Bake a Successful Souffle".
...It is unimportant whether Cherie is benefiting from her position as Prime Minister's wife or not. But I have to admit that I can have little faith in the Labour government when she shows such a blatant lack of understanding for simple style etiquette. I mean - crushed velvet so eighties and green is just not her colour.
We've been having a chat here in the Woman's Hour production office and we've noticed that this whole programme is predicated on the idea that a whole 51% of the populace has interests in common merely on the basis of their sex. Since this assumption is completely patronising and insupportable, we've decided to stop producing the programme. Next on 4, the news for humans.OK, how aboutWorld's Worst Thing To Say When Visiting A Friend's Church
You hold services in a .... modern building? Well of course one can worship anywhere, but really, isn't this just a group of friends chatting in some meeting room?
(to a female vicar) My dear, I thought you read the service very well, but I bet you can't wait until they appoint someone to the vacancy. When's he arriving?
It was so nice and thoughtful of you to pass me that dish with all the money in it during the service. It will make a most wonderful addition to my coin and banknote collection back home in Thailand.
"Erm.... s'cuse me parson, I don't mean to be interruptive of your indoctrination of us miserable sinners but your sermon has been a grueling one up to the moment and a man builds a thirst sitting here made to sweat like dear Ol' Job in these dusty pews. Could we maybe have a short intermission and you have them pretty choir girls pass out the libations!"
Umm.., Father, could you please settle an issue for us? My friend Tom here and I have a bet going on whether priests wear anything under their frocks. I was right about, and won our last bet on Scotsmen and kilts.