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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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Would you like a cold beer?
Sure your grandma bakes you nice cookies and cupcakes. But that's just to fatten you up, you see. She's actually Hansel and Gretel's witch in disguise.
Here, read this copy of Leviticus and take these doves and sacrificial instruments to your mother whenever she seems in a bad mood this month.
Why not give the goldfish a cuddle?
Do you think your little sister will fit in the washing machine?
Hello I'm Plump
The tooth-fairy is a no-good racketeer- a very bad lady. She leaves you just 25p for your tooth and then goes and sells it for two whole pounds. And Santa Claus, ho ho, could I tell you a thing or two about that guy!
We could surprise mummy by putting the television on ebay. Shall we try it?
Have you ever wondered what's inside the television? Here's a screwdriver and a pair of pliers.
You know that moral statements have no objective truth, don't you?
Your parents are mistaken, cats and dogs do get along well together. It will be perfectly safe to drop Fluffy over the fence so she can make friends with the Wilson's Bull Terriers.
Have you ever wondered what's inside a dog? Here's a carving knife and a saw. Watch you don't cut yourself!
You say daddy loves you, but ah, how can you know anything?
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