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World's Worsest
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Start with World's Worst Chat Up Lines, till it wears out then start a new topic.
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Why not give the goldfish a cuddle?
Do you think your little sister will fit in the washing machine?
Hello I'm Plump
The tooth-fairy is a no-good racketeer- a very bad lady. She leaves you just 25p for your tooth and then goes and sells it for two whole pounds. And Santa Claus, ho ho, could I tell you a thing or two about that guy!
We could surprise mummy by putting the television on ebay. Shall we try it?
Have you ever wondered what's inside the television? Here's a screwdriver and a pair of pliers.
You know that moral statements have no objective truth, don't you?
Your parents are mistaken, cats and dogs do get along well together. It will be perfectly safe to drop Fluffy over the fence so she can make friends with the Wilson's Bull Terriers.
Have you ever wondered what's inside a dog? Here's a carving knife and a saw. Watch you don't cut yourself!
You say daddy loves you, but ah, how can you know anything?
And, for that matter, Ah, you say that 3+5 is 8, but what stops it being 18? Consider rejecting the arbitrary axioms of mathematics, and you will see that it could just as easily be 235 or 835 or even five million! Hang on, I'll draw you a diagram.
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord