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101 Uses For A Black And Decker Workmate
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As played in the Furcation Game (plug). Could the panel please suggest uses for a Black and Decker Workmate?
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29. If one were to attach a series of rod-mounted beads, it could form a basic abacus.
30. With one end tilted lower than the other, an extremely short but rather portable dry-ski slope
31. Partly opened, it can be used as a tribute to Robert Recorde.
32. Impromptu stumps for an impromptu game of cricket. Other suggested items: ball made of sellotape, 3/4 full bottle of water, players.
33. An accomplice in providing excuses for acquiring power tools.
34. An artificial woman, for the extremely lonely.
35. Portable crazy-golf kit.
36. As a more reliable, [less prone to human error], means of circumcision.
37. Obtain several, turn some of them upside down and enter them in the Turner Prize.
38. Just cooked a pasta meal and embarrassed by the length of your spaghetti? Simply attach the spaghetti to your workmate and turn the handle to increase to the desired length!
39. An inyeresting sidetable for displaying any Oscars you might happen to win. Wow, Tuj goes topical!
40. A fully washable table for use as an aid to natural childbirth.
41. A paperweight.
42. Need to saw a piece of wood? First, ask a friend to hold the wood with one hand. Then clamp his other hand in the workmate so that he can't run away.
43. Keeping one's mouth shut to stop guffawing like an idiot at the previous suggestion.
44. Submerge in a very large vase of water to provide an adjustible support for flower arrangements.
45 A great jar opener and should grace every kitchen in the land.
46 A gum shield for hippopotamuses.
47 A device to remove excess skin from your shins, best done in a darkened shed whilst looking for the white spirit.
48. Making a large Waldorf salad? Why crack those walnuts one at a time? Use the Workmate and do them all at once!
Legal tender.
50 Diversionary tactic. Following on from ph21rw's sublime offerering
51 A fully adjustable xylophone stand. Also takes marimbas.
52. Adjustable modern art plinth.
53. Use it as a handy aid in your carpentry hobby.
st d] Crazy, man.
54. A dual purpose operating table for small operations on small people.
To pinch one from my good friend Marmaduke: 55. a terrible opponent in a football match.
56. I plan to rip it from its moorings, hoist it high over my head and smash it thru a large plate glass window in a daring and spectacular escape from MC5.
[Falstaff] That reminds me.
57. The collapsing prop for an impromptu comedy routine; for the finale i will drop it on my foot.
58. Holding open an angry lion's mouth to avoid being mauled.
59. A cow branding iron for poorly sighted farmers.
60 A limb replacement
61A Black & Decker Workmate tidy. Takes about 4.
62 A cheap alternative to visiting the dentist.
63. A seat for a high court judge.
64. Squeeze out those last drops of toothpaste! An economy-saving model!
65. My submission for the Turner Prize.
66. Combined with a clockwork monkey and a CD player playing fairground music, you too can pretend to be an organ grinder.    This came to me while winding the handle on my own B&DWM.
67. Adjustable wooden leg.
68. A prop for the next Doctor Who adventure: Revenge of the Trees. All the wood in the world turns on mankind in revenge for the brutal murder of trees to make furniture!
69. An adjustable birthing-stool.
[Kim] See No. 40.

69Contemporary stocks for naughty children.
70. Striking one's forehead in realisation. Just spotted I put "web-vased" in move 2... wondered what move 3 was about for a long time...
71. Subject for a list of uses of it
72. Use it to cut off your bold tag a little earlier...
73. My tombstone.
[Falstaff really!] "i shall own up."
74. A stocking stuffer!
76.line twenty up and jump them on a motorcycle.
77. Scatter a number around the garden (mix the sizes: there are 'home', 'industrial' and 'Stevie' models available) to create a wonderful arty display for your next candlelight supper.
78 As a suicide parachute.
79. Parallel bars for a new event at Crufts.
80. And then for standing on at the subsequent award ceremony.
81. To replace the falling anvil in old Tex Avery cartoons.
82 Novelty Key Fob.
83. Bedside table
84. Hamster activity centre.
85. Use 2 to replace a Corby Trouser press (one for each crease)
86. Tie a note to it and throw it through a window if a brick's not handy
87. Nutcrackers
88. Inverted, and with the addition of a strong rubber band, a handy catapult for flinging stones from the back door at neighbours' cats in the process of defecating on your newly-prepared flowerbeds.
89.Clothes horse for working clothes.
90. Blockade for stopping an angry mob smashing in your workshop door. Useful if you're Dr. Frankenstein, for instance.
91. Clothes horse for working horse.
92. Blunt instrument.
93. Exhibit A.
94. Attached to a rope it could make a novelty swingometer for Peter Snow.
94 b [Attached to a rope] it could be shoved from the bed of a moving truck
to pull [i.e. yank i.e. extricate] my wisdom tooth.
94 c [Attached to a rope] it would make a splendid wrecking ball.
94 c [Attached to a rope] a swinging pendant for hypnotizing a Cyclops.
94 e [Attached to a rope] Goliaths' slingshot for [Round 2] against David.
94 f [Attached to a rope] Prison Soap!
94 g [Attached to a rope] As a counterweight for use in hanging myself by the neck from a pulley in the closing act of Shakespeares 'King Henry IV' Unfortunately our good William took that page of the script into the privy with him and the entire scene was marked over, thus depriving the play of a meritorious conclusion.
I reckon all of Falstaff's contributions can be counted individually, therefore
101 British interpretation of a Japanese-style wooden pillow.
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for penelope*
*fashions guitar out of B&D workmate, strums E minor chord*
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for rab*
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild*
*shouts and generally goes wild, but doesn't scream*
Community Theatre prop for re-creating the final scene in the original version of the movie 'The Fly'.
Placed next to the coffe table in a darkened room, will help to totally disable you from the waist on down.
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