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101 Uses For A Black And Decker Workmate
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As played in the Furcation Game (plug). Could the panel please suggest uses for a Black and Decker Workmate?
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29. If one were to attach a series of rod-mounted beads, it could form a basic abacus.
30. With one end tilted lower than the other, an extremely short but rather portable dry-ski slope
31. Partly opened, it can be used as a tribute to Robert Recorde.
32. Impromptu stumps for an impromptu game of cricket. Other suggested items: ball made of sellotape, 3/4 full bottle of water, players.
33. An accomplice in providing excuses for acquiring power tools.
34. An artificial woman, for the extremely lonely.
35. Portable crazy-golf kit.
36. As a more reliable, [less prone to human error], means of circumcision.
37. Obtain several, turn some of them upside down and enter them in the Turner Prize.
38. Just cooked a pasta meal and embarrassed by the length of your spaghetti? Simply attach the spaghetti to your workmate and turn the handle to increase to the desired length!
39. An inyeresting sidetable for displaying any Oscars you might happen to win. Wow, Tuj goes topical!
40. A fully washable table for use as an aid to natural childbirth.
41. A paperweight.
42. Need to saw a piece of wood? First, ask a friend to hold the wood with one hand. Then clamp his other hand in the workmate so that he can't run away.
43. Keeping one's mouth shut to stop guffawing like an idiot at the previous suggestion.
44. Submerge in a very large vase of water to provide an adjustible support for flower arrangements.
45 A great jar opener and should grace every kitchen in the land.
46 A gum shield for hippopotamuses.
47 A device to remove excess skin from your shins, best done in a darkened shed whilst looking for the white spirit.
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