mc5 - 101 Uses For A Black And Decker Workmate

Botherer

21 b A handy V-Day present a week after V-Day. She'll love it and forgive you...

Tuj

21 c Device for raising and lowering encasted or enslinged bodyparts (TBC) when in hospital.

Tuj

21 d ... or, if adjusted at high speed, excellent for flicking wellwishers' grapes into your invalid mouth.

Raak

25 Cut a suitable set of semicircular holes in the jaws and use it as a pair of stocks.

penelope

26 When in the lowered position, as a prayer kneeler (for instance when begging 'Lord, pleeeease give me strength and forebearance when dealing with these idiots')

Uncle Korky

27. Lower legs at one end. Attach elastic band to handles at other end. You now have a launch ramp with which to propel Matchbox cars into the ether.

Darren

28. A clamp to help one keep a stiff upper lip.

Botherer

29. If one were to attach a series of rod-mounted beads, it could form a basic abacus.

rab

30. With one end tilted lower than the other, an extremely short but rather portable dry-ski slope

Boolbar

31. Partly opened, it can be used as a tribute to Robert Recorde.

Tuj

32. Impromptu stumps for an impromptu game of cricket. Other suggested items: ball made of sellotape, 3/4 full bottle of water, players.

Raak

33. An accomplice in providing excuses for acquiring power tools.

Darren

34. An artificial woman, for the extremely lonely.

rab

35. Portable crazy-golf kit.

Falstaff

36. As a more reliable, [less prone to human error], means of circumcision.

st dogmael

37. Obtain several, turn some of them upside down and enter them in the Turner Prize.

Boolbar

38. Just cooked a pasta meal and embarrassed by the length of your spaghetti? Simply attach the spaghetti to your workmate and turn the handle to increase to the desired length!

Tuj

39. An inyeresting sidetable for displaying any Oscars you might happen to win. Wow, Tuj goes topical!

Bob the dog

40. A fully washable table for use as an aid to natural childbirth.