8. With only one pair of opposite-corner legs fully extended, sit a small child atop it, and - hey presto - a post-industrial rocking horse!

9. Put several in a row on their sides and add black and white paint to create large barcodes for large barcode readers.

10. By painting it green and secreting it in long grass in the 'open' position, and being close at hand to wind the handle at very short notice, it would make an excellent legtrap for giraffes or other long-legged ungulates.

11. An instrument of torture. Details left to the imagination.

12. An instrument of interrogation. Should anyone refuse to tell you how best to use it to torture people, threaten them with it until they do. If you don't know how to use it to threaten them, it doesn't matter. They do.

13. A lucky charm. It can be for good luck or bad, it's your choice. It's your workmate, after all!

14. A handy place to store 10,000 Celerity CDs.