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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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-- Now that wasn't a very nice thing to mention, was it?
Helen Mirren
His in Austrilian mite called Dirren [Softers] Another nice easy rhyme [all Australian Crescenters] apologies
And all the corks dangling from his hat
Showed he was a bit of a twat. Further apologies.
Shilpa Shetty
Found the behaviour of her fellow contestants rather petty
Particularly that of the rather ugly and overweight "celebrity" Jade Goody
But the boss of Channel 4 wouldn't condemn it, would 'e?
Richard Harris
Left his cake out in the rain, but him it did not seem to embarrass
When acting, he used to ham a lot
And when shooting the movie musical about the Arthurian legend he was known to shout "Damn!" a lot
Barack Obama - careful now
According to certain rumour-mongerers is a radical Muslim just like Osama
The Democratic party is divided about his suitability as the Presidential candidate
But most of the rest of the country is piqued by the possibility of a leader who actually can orate
D'ye ken John Reid?
Aye, indeed!
some say he has accepted the poisoned chalice
Others detect a degree of malice.
Lord Michael Levy
Founded the label Magnet Records which featured many recording artists, but never ever the Wonder man, Stevie
This avails him naught
'Cos the bugger's been caught
The accused, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair
Obviously does not give a care
That he sometimes appears to be George Walker Bush's eager lap dog
And at other times appears to be wandering in the fog.
King John That last one was a bit earnest, wasn't it?
Everything he did went wrong
Whereas the Abbott of Canterbury
Didn't even make it into Wiki, in fact I think irach made him up...
[IS,P]- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Abbot_(Archbishop_of_Canterbury)
[irach] oops. sorry.
Lou Costello
Was not always a likeable fellow
Whereas Bud Archbish Abbott
Had many a bad habit
Bob Dylan
In 1988 recorded a Woody Guthrie ballad immortalising the life of crime of "Pretty Boy" Floyd, a Depression-era bank robber and villain
He played the guitar
And the harmonica(r)
Bonnie and Clyde
Died
While Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
also did.
Major Major Major Major
Fecked off with Yossarian's pager
While Nurse Duckett
Was the under-age inamorata alluded to by Gary Puckett
Dudley Moore
Phwooar!
Five foot two inches of pure man
And as such many starlets of him became a fan
Peter Cook
Was a founder and contributor to Private Eye and once even wrote a book
He also liked the occasional drink
Better than ink
Ian Hislop
Not much cop
Still, he is the editor of Private Eye
Which must never die.
Anna Nicole Smith
Will become an urban myth
Like many of her peers, she had a romance with silicone
And she remains newsworthy, even though she's dead and gone
Captain Sisko
Had allllll the right moves, and was always a big hit down the disco
What's more, ever since his wife died
He wakes up with stabbing pains down his right side
Sorry, there just don't seem to be enough Trekkies around, so trying to unblock the game
Sir Launcelot
Was famous for using his lance a lot
But Guinevere
In the company of Lancelot's lance was known to delightfully quiver
Richard Stilgoe
Used to have a stilted show
He played his piano while standing on tall stilts
At which one's will to live wilts.
Gordon Brown, texture like sun, lays me down with my mind he runs throughout the night no need to fight...
Perpetual frown (ISP) Can you get me some of the stuff you're on?
David Cameron
Does yammer on.
Gordon Brown, finer temptress, through the ages, he's heading west. From far away, stays for a day, never a frown, with Gordon Brown
Is the MP for what was my home town.
Whereas Robin Cook
Could easily be mistaken for a crook
Stephen Fry
Thinks he is wry
Alan Davies
Doesn't understand the ravies.
Hugh Laurie
Never had a starring role in Corrie
But playing Lord Peter Wimsey
Is, as a claim to having played a great rôle, rather flimsy.
[Softers] When was that, then? I'd like to see that.
William Shakespeare
Addressed many of his sonnets to a young man, the "Fair Youth" who Willy apparently homoerotically held as dear
Whereas Keats
Wrote letters that covered many sheets See for yourself, ISP: Jeeves and Wooster.
[Softers] I've got that DVD set (Excellent) but cannot see Lord Peter Wimsey anywhere. Are you confusing him with Bertie Wooster?
After all, one is a character in humorous P.G. Wodehouse novels, the other is a Dorothy L. Sayers detective so it's an easy mistake to make.
Hercule Poirot
Never knew when to say "no"
Whereas his sidekick Captain Arthur Hastings
Spends more time at wine tastings ISP - Ahhh!...
[ISP] Somewhere on the web there's a crossover story involving Bertie Wooster the amateur cracksman and Lord Peter Wimsey.
[Raak] Any clues? All I can find is Raffles the amateur cracksman.
Georges Seurat
[ISP] Here it is.

Un broad brush n'utilisait pas

Il a préféré des dots.
Bum. Let's tidy this up...

Projoy - Georges Seurat
Raak - Un broad brush n'utilisait pas
Darren - Il a préféré des points

Quant à ses admiratrices, they went "Mwa".
Matisse
Egalement, il était impressionniste
comme Mike Yarwood
Whose soul, like Matisse's, has now gone starward
Geoffrey Chaucer
Few were coarser
But his characters were true to life
Though it's unclear whether any were based on his wife
Garibaldi
Famous for both biscuits and perhaps less importantly, the reunification of Italy
Was abducted by Shadows
Then Hank Marvin presented him to the Pope as one of many cadeaux[Raak] Do you have to go out of your way to find words with no rhymes, or is it a gift?
Margaret Beckett
Is known to yell "Feck it!"
While Donald Duck
Says something altogether different
Mickey Mouse
Has much nous
Goofy, however presented as a candidate for feedline of the month
Was very far from clever [ISP] thanks
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