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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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Was not always a likeable fellow
Whereas Bud Archbish Abbott
Had many a bad habit
Bob Dylan
In 1988 recorded a Woody Guthrie ballad immortalising the life of crime of "Pretty Boy" Floyd, a Depression-era bank robber and villain
He played the guitar
And the harmonica(r)
Bonnie and Clyde
Died
While Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
also did.
Major Major Major Major
Fecked off with Yossarian's pager
While Nurse Duckett
Was the under-age inamorata alluded to by Gary Puckett
Dudley Moore
Phwooar!
Five foot two inches of pure man
And as such many starlets of him became a fan
Peter Cook
Was a founder and contributor to Private Eye and once even wrote a book
He also liked the occasional drink
Better than ink
Ian Hislop
Not much cop
Still, he is the editor of Private Eye
Which must never die.
Anna Nicole Smith
Will become an urban myth
Like many of her peers, she had a romance with silicone
And she remains newsworthy, even though she's dead and gone
Captain Sisko
Had allllll the right moves, and was always a big hit down the disco
What's more, ever since his wife died
He wakes up with stabbing pains down his right side
Sorry, there just don't seem to be enough Trekkies around, so trying to unblock the game
Sir Launcelot
Was famous for using his lance a lot
But Guinevere
In the company of Lancelot's lance was known to delightfully quiver
Richard Stilgoe
Used to have a stilted show
He played his piano while standing on tall stilts
At which one's will to live wilts.
Gordon Brown, texture like sun, lays me down with my mind he runs throughout the night no need to fight...
Perpetual frown (ISP) Can you get me some of the stuff you're on?
David Cameron
Does yammer on.
Gordon Brown, finer temptress, through the ages, he's heading west. From far away, stays for a day, never a frown, with Gordon Brown
Is the MP for what was my home town.
Whereas Robin Cook
Could easily be mistaken for a crook
Stephen Fry
Thinks he is wry
Alan Davies
Doesn't understand the ravies.
Hugh Laurie
Never had a starring role in Corrie
But playing Lord Peter Wimsey
Is, as a claim to having played a great rôle, rather flimsy.
[Softers] When was that, then? I'd like to see that.
William Shakespeare
Addressed many of his sonnets to a young man, the "Fair Youth" who Willy apparently homoerotically held as dear
Whereas Keats
Wrote letters that covered many sheets See for yourself, ISP: Jeeves and Wooster.
[Softers] I've got that DVD set (Excellent) but cannot see Lord Peter Wimsey anywhere. Are you confusing him with Bertie Wooster?
After all, one is a character in humorous P.G. Wodehouse novels, the other is a Dorothy L. Sayers detective so it's an easy mistake to make.
Hercule Poirot
Never knew when to say "no"
Whereas his sidekick Captain Arthur Hastings
Spends more time at wine tastings ISP - Ahhh!...
[ISP] Somewhere on the web there's a crossover story involving Bertie Wooster the amateur cracksman and Lord Peter Wimsey.
[Raak] Any clues? All I can find is Raffles the amateur cracksman.
Georges Seurat
[ISP] Here it is.

Un broad brush n'utilisait pas

Il a préféré des dots.
Bum. Let's tidy this up...

Projoy - Georges Seurat
Raak - Un broad brush n'utilisait pas
Darren - Il a préféré des points

Quant à ses admiratrices, they went "Mwa".
Matisse
Egalement, il était impressionniste
comme Mike Yarwood
Whose soul, like Matisse's, has now gone starward
Geoffrey Chaucer
Few were coarser
But his characters were true to life
Though it's unclear whether any were based on his wife
Garibaldi
Famous for both biscuits and perhaps less importantly, the reunification of Italy
Was abducted by Shadows
Then Hank Marvin presented him to the Pope as one of many cadeaux[Raak] Do you have to go out of your way to find words with no rhymes, or is it a gift?
Margaret Beckett
Is known to yell "Feck it!"
While Donald Duck
Says something altogether different
Mickey Mouse
Has much nous
Goofy, however presented as a candidate for feedline of the month
Was very far from clever [ISP] thanks
The new Justice Ministry (departing, for a moment, from human subjects)
Is a little bit sinistery and from words with rhymes. I dunno, man of your calibre.
But the Home Office, however
Is a fundamentally oppressive endeavour
America's "Department of Homeland Defense"
Must cost a few cents
While the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms
Relies on congressional alms
Morgan Tsvangirai
Has one hell of a black eye
Even for an African, if the frivolity may be pardoned
Though after so many years of Mugabe, his physique may have hardened
Robert 'Honest Bob' Mugabe
I always at The Derby
Pisspots! For "I" read "Is".
With Zimbabwe's rate of inflation, he looses less with every race
But don't tell him that to his face.
Ronnie Corbett
Should be sent into orbit
- Just my little joke
Well, he is a little bloke
Judas Iscariot
Had such a burden of guilt that he could barely carry it
Borges wrote a story in which Judas was the Saviour
How else to explain such odd behaviour?
(Apols for taking two lines, but they came to me fully formed.)
The great prophet, peace be upon him
Surrounded in the heavens, by cherubim and seraphim
Must be pissed off at what those fundamentalists are up to
And, consoling himself in drink, found that one was insufficient, so supped two.
John Cleese
Has remarkable knees
Whereas those of Terry Jones
are knobbly old bones
Eric Idle
Studied at Heidel-
berg
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