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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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In fact, they loved him (at least posthumously)
And now he is hailed almost unanoomously. mercy killing
Arthur C Clarke
Doubted the very existence of a quark
He believed the true nature of subatomic particles would be forever unexplained
(At least until God had been named)
John Wyndham
Was distraught when he wrote stories and others binned 'em
The Midwich Cuckoo did not suffer this fate
Nor did The Day of the Triffids, which was great.
James Tiptree, Junior
Wrote her books with a pen made from a petunia
Thus did her career flower
Although her act of killing her husband, and then shooting herself made some of her loyal readers really cower.
Barry Cryer
Could have joined the Church and become a Friar
In a school pantomime he once played the comical Friar Tuck
His bad luck.
Noah
Was a bit of a goer
He built The Ark
But not the Cutty Sark.
Lot
About his wife he gave not a Jot
He sneered at her as he drank his favourite malt
But her subsequent mineralisation was entirely her own fault.
Job
Was generally thought a snob
While Zachariah
Became a bit of a pariah (I always thought "Job" was pronounced to rhyme with "robe.")
The Apostle Paul (Darren) It is. This must've been a job lot.
Was also known as Saul
But Mark
Was never known as Clark.
Judas Iscariot Balancing the ying and yang
Hung himself from a tree using a noose on his lariat
His hair was red
It was said.
Adam and Eve
Wouldn't believe
That the simple apple
Would lead to them being immortalized in Michelangelo's painting in the Sistine Chapel.
Prince Charles
Rarely snarls
Although he does talk a lot of drivel
And on occasion is known to snivel.
Louis Pasteur
Preferred Mademoiselle to Monsieur
Apologies and an alternate more suited to the game.
Found prevention more viable than cure
While Marie Curie
Pressed on regardless, to her Safety Officer's fury.
Anton Lavoisier
Had absolutely nothing to do with the brassiere
But that's not to say
That he wasn't loved by Mrs. Lavoisier
Cary Grant
Married my aunt
And Garfunkel
Was described as Simon's carbuncle (avoiding the obvious...)
To boldly draw the line....
Was described as Simon's carbuncle
Sid James
Was adept at card games
Not so Hattie Jacques (Dandalf) Neat.
Hardly a card shark
[irach] Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Hattie Jacques' surname pronounced to rhyme with "rakes"?
Oh well, I stand corrected. Here's an alternative line...Who, when playing gin rummy made such terrible mistakes.
Sherpa Tensing
Was never obsessed with skin cleansing
Therefore, he led a lonely life
Shunned by one and all, including his wife
Sir Edmund Hilary
Was surprised to find himself in the pillory
Because he thinks that modern mountaineers are too blasé
About considering human life just passé.
"Dave" Cameron
His political rivals would like to put him in the slammer on
The basis that he attracts women like flies
They do admire his shapely thighs
Magellan,
Or "Ferdie-baby" as addressed by Sir Ian McKellen Crap, but what else is there?
Did a bit of circumnavigation a while ago which has led to his name being used for a Global Positioning Satellite system because there is a tenuous connection
Why not vote for him at the next General Election?
Michelangelo (Rosie)- there was "felon, melon, Helen, no tellin'..."
Liked to indulge in the odd fresco
Whereas J M W Turner (Softers) I am far too innocent to know about felons or indeed melons. :-)
was a bit of a watercolour churner
W. G. Grace
How could he be such a good cricketer with such a hairy face?
Consider the baby-faced Babe Ruth
Who hit seven hundred and fourteen home runs! Streuth!
Svennis Yeah, I know you don't call him that. At least this should be rhymeable.
Became known as "The Swedish Menace"
While Bjorn Borg
bored.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Gets someone to do his dhobi
While Luke Skywalker
Watches Night Stalker
Alec Guiness
Was a great fan of Neil Innes
He used dream of being in the Rutles with Neil
Until someone told him he didn't have the right 'feel'
Johannes Brahms
Possessed the standard number of arms
Which limited the type of music he was able to write
Yet, on the other hand, playing Chopin's piano pieces is facilitated by one's possession of supernumary digits on one of one's hands- the right.
Humph
Triumph
Brooke-Taylor
Failure (As if Brooke-Taylor rhymed with Failure... I ask you)>
Graeme Gardner
Seldom, if ever, greeted people saying "Howdy, Pardner!"
Unlike Graeme Garden (who is Graeme Gardner?)
Even when he visits Henley-in-Arden. (Darren) I think Chalky's been working too hard and by way of compensation may be in her cups at this late hour.
Bill Oddie oblig.
What a body!
So hairy!
No fairy!
Sam Loyd
Created the 14-15 Puzzle that any smartarse would avoid
Whereas Erno Rubik
Had ideas more cubic
Laszlo Bíró more world-famous Hungarians . . .
Was on the ball and is now upheld as a writers hero
Whilst Marçel Bich
Failed to click pronunciation assumed
Hieronymus Bosch
Thought by some to be the inventor of power tools, but that's tosh. (Softers) :-)
But Salvador Dali
Considered a genius by some, but, by God, didn't he over do it? Some of his work wouldn't even be accepted by the people of Mali.
Not that I'm claiming Malians have no taste in art. If you can show me the proof, I'll retract...
Roy Liechtenstein
Thought pop art was very fine
While Andy Warhol
Might have come with something worthwhile if he'd dug a borehole.
Tom Cruise
Makes me snooze
And Katie Holmes
Inspires no pomes.
Houdini
Drank Martini
Whereas Cyrano
Played with Meccano . . . one for the oldies . . .
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