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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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Alan Ball
No genius but gave his all
Do we mean the screenwriter or football player?
Neither, our local carpet layer
Stephen King
Wrote that thing
Full of horror
Where Carrie started fires and the evil gor 'er.
Julius Caesar
Was a bit of a geezer
Whilst Brutus
Threatened to shoot us
Nefertiti
Was a bit of a sweety
But what she thought of King Tut
Would have to be editorially cut
Karl Friedrich Gauss
Wrote most of his mathematical formulae on cocktail napkins at his local Bierhaus
However, it is not known if he had a magnetic personality
But he certainly had German nationality.
Jerry Lee Lewis
Never met Peter Brewis
While Dean(and Steve)Martin
Were found dead with a carton.
Brian Perkins
Amassed a vast collection of blond and brunette merkins
While on the other hand, the lovely Charlotte Brown
Would not, despite her alleged horniness, on someone who thus misnamed her, go down.
Peter André
Does his landré
In a place so very large
It resembles a theatre stage rather than un cage
Jaap de Hoop Scheffer
Being Dutch, loves the Fresian heffer
The heifer is not amused
Although, admittedly, somewhat confused
Pete Tong
Has not been around that long
Not everyone's name has passed into Cockney rhyming slang
Not even The Emperor Wang.
Pele
Was never involved in a goalmouth mêlée
Unlike Bobby Tambling
Who, as a Jehovah's Witness, preached in the goalmouth and was oft accused of rambling
Lord Reith (Softers) Yeah, nobody's perfect, but 200 goals will do me nicely.
The first director of the BBC who ruled it like a feudal chief [Rosie] Yes, despite what some people think, football is not a religion.
Determined to inform, educate and entertain
The way it is now would have driven him insane.
Ronan O'Rahilly
Always signs his e-mails with a smiley
Quite unlike Ronan Tynan
Who sends emails without signin'.
Yanni
Probably does not speak Azerbaijani
Which may have helped his defence when accused of domestic battery by his his girlfriend, Silvia Barthes
He wouldn't have done anything to harm his hands, his lawyer says
W. G. Grace
Had a hairy face
But what was really weird
Is that he wore a false beard
Ernest Hemingway
Never wrote a play
Except in Key West
A place most detest.
Steve Punt
****!
Hails from Hackney Wick
D***
Armando Iannucci
A Glaswegian Italian, though never wears Gucci
When he is reminded of the Friday Night Armistice
Dithers around like a Useless Eustace
Dylan Moran
Was wonderful in Black books, but opinion is divided about his lead in the forthcoming Ken Loach production of Desperate Dan
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