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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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Once hiked the Kalahari, which as everyone knows, is very barren
Fortunately, the local tribesmen explained how water may be found
Underground
Rosie (in that case)
Has a cherished prize posession- a tatted Victorian tea cosy
He wears it on his head
While checking the weather from his shed.
Software
Dare
Says I Say, Potter!
Well, at least he oughtta. Dubious pronunciation to fit whether or not that was a typo
Bill Gates (Chalky) How did you know that?
Mates
But Steve Jobs' not the apple of his eye
You won't find Bill gently stroking Steve's thigh
The inscrutable irach - [Rosie] Just a hunch
Is undoubtedly aware of Nobel Prize-winning physicist Paul Dirac (Chalky) Actually I haven't got a hat of any kind. :-)
But the one he really feels for
Is the misshapen form of Patrick Moore.
Niels Bohr
Was rotten to the core
A singular view, it must be said
Since his study on the way electrons orbit around the atomic core to a Nobel Prize led!
Michael Faraday
Made it a point to frequent at least one bar a day
His consumption of the odd pork scratching
Kept his ideas of electromagnetism hatching.
Dorothy Leigh Sayers
Baked a cake of many layers
One for each circle of hell, in fact, which meant that it was kind of flimsy [irach] You should have shown up an hour sooner :-)
Her pastry concoctions being known for their allegoric connotations, and not for their whimsy
Dara O'Briain
Dreams of being Brendan Behan
Excepting, perhaps, the manner of his death
And alcohol tainted breath
Linus Pauling
Whose intake of vitamin C was quite appalling
Though he lived to be a great old age
Nuclear tests filled him full of rage
Romulus, brother of Remus
Said to Scotty, "To Rome will you beam us"
Or at least, that's what Babelfish translated it to from the original Latin
Which means it's about as likely that Mars' sons wanted to go to Manhattan actually, I wish babel DID do latin translations...
New York City
Big, loud, glitzy, fast, exciting but probably not pretty
Whereas San Francisco
Has only one disco.
Pablo Neruda
Used to rewrite Gabriel Garcia Marquez' limericks in order to make them cruder
Whereas Thomas Bowdler, hardly a writer
Removed the less moral parts of the human body in order to make it lighter
Greyfriars Bobby
Had to find an appropriate place in the graveyard to do a little jobby
But Jennings
Searched for pfennings.
Managing Director of the IMF, Rodrigo de Rato y Figaredo
Whirls in and out of the office like a tornado
While Director-General of the WHO, Dr. Lee Jong-Wook
Just pops in now and then to borrow a book
William Morris
Was very fond of young Doris
However she
Was far too young for some pervy old 19th Century designer who was just too old for she.
I appreciate that was rubbish, but I had to get it out of my system.
Thelonious Sphere Monk
Botherer] ...as the author of The IT crowd should have said.
Not for him the crudities of Punk
His thunk was melodious
And he considered Punk Rock as wretched as Hell...odious
The good Saint Valentine
Had a hearty penchant for sipping too much red wine
So now we commemorate
Him by getting drunk while out on a date
Sir David Frost Bile, please
Has always been determined to get himself on TV whatever the cost
He'll shortly be broadcasting from Qatar
What a way he has to earn his bread and butter!
Richard Dimbleby
No symbol he.
His style was very proper
'Though not a show stopper
General de Gaulle
To the UK's entry into the EU said "non" and that was not all
He took out a big hanky and blew his nose
This act spoke more eloquently of his feelings than any bombastic prose
Nicolas Copernicus
Flatly refused to subscribe to the astronomical model proposed by the Catholic church and thus published De revolutionibus
Thus, and with no pun intended, he precipitated a revolution
Which was to presage a similar one which erupted a few centuries later when Darwin proposed his theory of evolution!
Goya
Painted the Dutchess of Alba nude, but (thankfully) never got to similarly paint Jackson, i.e., LaToya
Instead, he painted himself
Which, in the opinion of the Kray twins, "wa'n't no good for 'is 'elf"
Van Gogh Pronunciation - please yourselves. ©Frankie Howerd.
Whenever asked to pronounce his own last name would fake a loud cough
While not entirely anatomically intact at the end of his tragic life, his brush strokes were bold and fearless
Painting sunflowers? Peerless!
Georges Seurat
His last Hurrah
Got to the point with impressionism
Which interested him more than hedonism.
Moammar Khadaffi
Makes excellent salt-water taffy
Whereas his counterpart in Tunisia
Has no time for such things, being much busier
Alan Ball
No genius but gave his all
Do we mean the screenwriter or football player?
Neither, our local carpet layer
Stephen King
Wrote that thing
Full of horror
Where Carrie started fires and the evil gor 'er.
Julius Caesar
Was a bit of a geezer
Whilst Brutus
Threatened to shoot us
Nefertiti
Was a bit of a sweety
But what she thought of King Tut
Would have to be editorially cut
Karl Friedrich Gauss
Wrote most of his mathematical formulae on cocktail napkins at his local Bierhaus
However, it is not known if he had a magnetic personality
But he certainly had German nationality.
Jerry Lee Lewis
Never met Peter Brewis
While Dean(and Steve)Martin
Were found dead with a carton.
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