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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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Starred in Beyond Our Ken without which it is unlikely that the more often quoted Round the Horne would never have been born.
But Kenneth Williams
Was in 'Carry-on' filliams
Milli Vanilli
Were very silly oblig.
So was Screaming Lord Sutch
Of talent neither had much.
Freddie Flintoff
Not really an In toff
Bur Shane Warne
Bur = but
Has been since the day he was born
Uriah Heep
Was unctuous, selfish and cheap
Why did Dickens write such an antagonist?
no particular reason.... he was pissed
Wayne Rooney Let's have an easy one.
A complete loony I guess that's what you had in mind, Rosie
He thinks a red card
Is well 'ard sorrysorrysorry
Alan Bennett . . . . not so easy . . . (pen) Naughty but good. :-)
When not appearing on TV tinkers with making cheeses without rennet
He is famous for his Northerness [pen] good one.
Which shone through in an accent he made no attempt to suppress
Kate Moss ...topical or what?
Who gives a toss?
What supermodels snort
I care naught
.
Hugo Weaving
Acts in films unlike those from Ealing
His films these days tend to have lots of effects
But not enough sex.
Juan Pablo Montoya
A veggie, into soya
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
His combined realism and fantasy batters your head
Madonna
Or, more boldly,
Madonna
Her husband's new film, Revolver seems to be a gonner
While she dabbles in Kaballah
An activity that will do little to improve her pallor.
The Sultan of Brunei
Knows of only two things he cannot buy:
My undying love,
And Allah, above.
Ashton Kutcher
Halal butcher Could be. Day job.
As far as I am concerned it doesn't matter
How the meat gets from the field onto my platter
Muhammad Ali
Was better than even Mr. T in Rocky III
However, the latter had the upper hand
Over Henry Cooper in this land.
Long Ben, The Pirate
Had a musket but couldn't fire it
d'Artagnan, on the other hand
Seemed to use his sword, just like the rest of the band.
Ken Clarke
Would make an excellent Bellman if they ever filmed 'The hunting of the snark'
Whereas Michael Howard
His career is soured. Rule 1 - All Welsh Tories shall have names beginning with H. (Howe, Heseltine, Howard). Rule 2 - None shall have a Welsh accent, ever.
David Davies Based on Rosie's analysis, obviously unelectable
Has been distracted from the leadership battle by his love of gravies
His attention to diet (Softers) I think he's a Davis, and not Welsh AFAIK.
Was cleverly instilled subliminally by his opposition to keep him quiet. Bizarre conspiracies #11603
The late, great Ronnie Barker Re - Tories. The disturbing thought has occurred to me that I am of 100% Welsh descent, have a surname beginning with 'H' and do not have a Welsh accent. Dear Agony Aunt, am I a Tory?
For television commedians, the marker
Four candles we'll light to remember
And keep lit 'til just before it turns November. fitting tribute, even by accident
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