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Cleri Who's Who
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Four lines rhyming AABB - scansion, rhythm, metre and all that malarkey is as random as-u-like. Oh yes - the featured subject, usually a person, is mentioned in the first line.
Here's a full and frank(ly better) intro by Thos along with some that were made earlier.
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Told the residents of Basel off
For selling him a faulty signature line Mel Tormé "Swatch"
They offered him some scotch.
Batman begins
Almost as fast as Hurricane Higgins It's easy rhyme day, I see...
But cartoon mouse Speedy Gonzalez (Andele, Andele! Arriba, Arriba!))
fortunately frequents the bar less.
Katie Holmes
Allegedly prefers shorter men and gnomes
This predeliction
Surely must be fiction.
Speilberg's interpretation of War Of the Worlds
Makes your hair stand on end and straightens out your curls
While the 1938 broadcast by Orson Wells
Let loose all Hells.
Alfred Hitchcock
set his alarm clock [Software] that's Welles, please.
To a time that remains a mystery - invoking blindingly obvious feed-rhyme
The rest is history, Happy to oblige, Chalks
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
Is fluent in Bengali
This should serve him well
But who can tell?
Bob Geldof
Thinks the world of
Catherine Zeta-Jones (as so many do)
He'd like to jump her bones.
Stephen Fry
What a guy!
A prince, a pearl, a polymath
But not (as far as is known) an osteopath
Groucho Marx
enjoyed his larks
While brother Harpo
Parodied the Gestapo.
Leif the Lucky, viking gent
Gave up mead and strong ale for Lent
But Hagar the Horrible, contrarily
Continued to indulge, keeping it from Helga, warily.
Edward Heath inevitably
On losing the leadership of the Conservative Party to Margaret Thatcher was for the rest of his life fed up to back teeth
But, nevertheless, enjoyed his sailing
That is, when he wasn't bailing.
Ken Livingstone Nice one, Rosie
With his Estuarine drone
As Mayor of London
Has left a lot undone.
Former Transport Minister Stephen Byers
Hoped to impose a tax on frequent flyers
And on railways he told porkies
Hoping that we'd all go walkies
Franz Liszt
For all we know may well have met Johannes Brahms in Vienna and got pissed
Whereas, when he encountered Johann Strauss
He had the presence of mind not to ask about his latest spouse.
The noble canine Lassie *wince*
Was played in the movies by male dogs as bitches were far too sassy.
While Toto in "The Wizard of Oz"
Didn't care which sex it was. So they say.
Elizabeth Arden
Laces her cosmetics with 2-chloro-3-ethoxyphenyl-5-methylparaben
Which makes her lippy shiny
But has the side-effect of making sipped coffee taste briny
Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams
Has a strange rapport with bordello madams
This sounds like a Loyalist smear
Or something very near.
Sigourney Weaver
Is fascinated by the natural history of the beaver
And the fact that petting beavers is so much fun
Gave her the idea for her character in 'Alee-yun' erm...
[pen] Bravo!
Domenico Scarlatti
When ordered to his room after being naughty
Composed unplayable sonatas
And seven operas for Queen Maria Casimira apparently
Salvador Dali
Was as hypnotic as the legendary Svengali
Had a discerning eye for women but in the case of Amanda Lear
It seems to have deserted him, I fear.
Gaston Leroux's Phantom of the Opera
Was made into films several times but never by Frank Copra
Neither did he re-make Bram Stoker's "Dracula"
Although some of the movies he did make are considered quite spectacular.
The Three Musketeers
Sorry - could have sworn I saw a line there. Encore une fois
The Three Musketeers
Were queers Oh come on, it was begging for that line
But the Three Men in a Boat
Were more into Deep Throat.
Jerome K. Jerome
Is remembered for that one book alone
And that character of his, old Uncle Podger [I can see the obligatory next line already...]
A literary bastion as memorable as Dickens' Artful Dodger [I couldn't.]
Enid Blyton
Unlike Stephen King, didn't write stories that would frighten
Her Noddy books and the Famous Five
Made one glad, or perhaps not, to be alive
Lorna Doone
Had a personal genie who granted her a boon
Or am I confusing her with Alladin?
, or possibly Aladdin.
Robin Cook
Was principled and such a stand he took
Unlike Clare Short
Of whom it's difficult to find as glowing a report.
Bonnie and Clyde
Lied
But "Dangerous Dan" MacGraw
Swore.
Benjamin Disraeli
Dressed gaily
While William Gladstone, his arch rival
Had a sombre, almost funereal style, of which the only recollections now are archival
Gloria Estefan
Would be unlikely to do a gig in Esfahan er . . . Iran.
While Celine Dion
Quite often does one in Lyon.
(New lymerik) the idaho lisence plate offers eating suggestions
Good heavens, Holmes, what does this mean?
Clement Attlee
Intoned flatly
Unlike Winston Churchill
Who, in private, squeaked like Julie Burchill
Plato
His Republic wouldn't have joined NATO
He wrote: "Everything that deceives may be said to enchant"
And his books are both shorter and much easier to read than those of Kant
Peter Gabriel
Creates and lives his own bizarre unreal world - an unsavoury 'ell
Whereas Phil Collins
Thinks he's Henry Rollins
(Although I did consider "Doesn't.")
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