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You know you're getting old when.......
help
As life moves on there are signs which tell us, without any chance of doubt, that we are getting older, going downhill, coming off the final bend or generally ready to turn off the lights, lock the door and depart gracefully. What is/are your particular tell-tale symptoms?
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You cannot rise up from or relax down into a chair without making a noise [grunt!] Disavower: some sounds may vary from others and might cause the grandchildren to giggle.
You realise your kids are older than the girls you're looking at in the pub.
You start to think that Frank Sinatra probably did have a reasonable voice.
In youth, you can do more and better things each year than you could the previous year. In old age, it is the reverse.
When contemplating doing anything new you wish you didn't know now what you didn't know when younger. (Raak) Not entirely true . . . . :-)
You take more drugs than a teenager but these keep you alive rather than hasten your death
You tell your friends how good Radio 2 has become.
You buy a drink for the sweet young thing chirruping on the barstool beside you and she responds with: ["Thanks Pops"]!!!
[Falstaff] And you respond: "Pardon?" :-)
You can remember when Tony Blackburn broadcast from a boat in the Thames.
You start thinking that you've reached middle age.
You stop looking after your children and start looking after your parents
[Projoy] That's middle age. Old is when your children look after you.
It's a bit late for suicide
You are genuinely pleased to receive socks as a birthday present.
You are genuinely pleased to have made it to another birthday
You are resigned to radical life-extension technology not arriving in time for you.
You really do need reading glasses. It creeps up on you. :-(
People referring to your age begin to say you're so many years young. It happened to me the other day. Bah!
...and tell you you're looking very well.
High Court judges start looking young. (Softers) NO!
When your arms are no longer long enough to read a newspaper. [Rosie] this is the marker :-)
You start making repeat postings about the age of High Court Judges
You start making repeat postings about the age... you're too slow on the drawer not to get simulposted
You forget which is right out of draw and drawer, and you don't care any more.
You're smaller than your pants.
Warming to the theme, Your underwear covers more of your body than your entire daywear collection used to conceal.
You actually go to a Well Man Clinic. Well, I might, sometime, if I remember. (Kim) They are not identical. :-)
....and they refer you to a priest.
You get chatted up by schoolgirls, just practising. it has happened . . . .
You get chatted up by mothers whose children have left home, for real Not yet, thank God.
The undertaker starts tipping his hat to you in passing.
You wish you had enough hair to get dandruff.
You finally accept that both greying hair and lack of hair are natural and begin to treat such as badges of honour.
You worry when you find that part of your skin isn't wrinkled.
The tiniest scratch takes weeks to heal.
When youffs on the train refer to you as "Grandad".
your CV is thirty pages long, typed up on a word-processor, and stops in 1987.
you have fogotten how to do bold tags
(if you look at the source for that last one it is even funnier - which wouldn't be hard)
You've worked out most of the rules of Mornington Crescent
Or more likely when You've forgotten all the rules of MC that you used to know.
You remember William Hartnell as the Doctor and think that no-one since has come close.
You can remember watching the last game which won England The Ashes.   Sorry, sorry, unfair, I know.
The Queen Mother kicks in the viagra.
You can remember when The Long Game started.
People around you start whispering the word "conclave" sorrysorrysorry
Every other discussion where your friends and acquaintances are mentioned usually involves the phrase "of course, he/she's not around any more"
O-Levels and A-Levels still sound new-fangled
You still count money in 'bob' Although to be fair, thanks to healthy Jimmy Clitheroe exposure as a child I still do this
You agree life just hasn't been the same since commercial televisionAnd how can you watch 2 BBC channels at once?
You still think aids should make things better They can't all be funny
*twigs* or spelt correctly
You still refer to Coca-Cola as "that Yankee drink"
You still refer to coke as "that Yankee drink"
You have a 17-inch TV and need to squint to see it properly
You can remember when you needed to squint at the TV because the screen was smaller than the average matchbox
You can actually remember watching the 1966 World Cup - as it happened
You think O and A levels as an educational qualification not a service
The Bypass means something rather more than the road that avoids the town centre.
The ties hanging in your wardrobe are fashionable.
You remember at least ten of the fashions currently in vogue from the first time round....and the celebrities who started them look like your grandmother
People never speak up properly.
You can remember when The Long Game started.
You can remember when this game started Time for a conclusion?
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