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You know you're getting old when.......
help
As life moves on there are signs which tell us, without any chance of doubt, that we are getting older, going downhill, coming off the final bend or generally ready to turn off the lights, lock the door and depart gracefully. What is/are your particular tell-tale symptoms?
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Going to the library is the highlight of your week
Last of the Summer Wine reflects your choice of lifestyle.
You forget bold tags twice in the same game.
Toys that you played with as a child often turn up on Antiques Roadshow
You hold your teeth in your hand as you brush them. [toothless grin]
- You look forward to going to bed to sleep.
You know all the solutions to all the episodes of Murder, She Wrote
You can spend a whole morning writing a letter and taking it to the Post Office.
You find that peer pressure has significantly reduced.    I stole that one; the first time ever ... sorry.
You think Salisbury is in Southern Rhodesia. (Falstaff) Shurrup!
The phrase "To be or not to be ..." becomes more than just a literary quotation.
- You can add numbers quicker in your head than on a pocket calculator.
You begin every other sentence with the words "In my day..."
You can have a nap after lunch without being disturbed
[Raak, re: Post Office] Blimey. I must be older than I thought.
You keep noticing that you're older than you thought.
You feel that a video game needs at least four hands to be played.
You feel that videogames have never been the same since colour and sound was introduced.
You understand specifically what the "everything" refers to in "sans eyes, sans taste, sans teeth, sans everything."
You don't care any more if you sound like a Tory.
You feel that pinball has never been the same since flippers were introduced.
Nothing impresses you.
(well, this means you're either old or a teenager)
You have a great idea for a posting in a game but then something distracts you and you think of something else for a second and ... um, ... where was I?
You smile indulgently after you fart, saying "pardon", but not really meaning it.
You get irritated by people who talk in like up-speak?
You smile into the mirror and a stranger is frowning back at you. *sigh*
- you are able to remember things that happened in the '60's clearer than last week.
When you have to admit the truth of "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my father after all"
When you still refer to something built in 1965 as "the new . . . ."
- When you can't be bothered to upgrade your mobile unless its broke.
When a new piece of technology is already obsolete by the time you notice it.
You vote
High Court judges seem to be getting younger.
Your defence lawyer describes you as 'an innocent elderly gentleman/spinster'
It's not the flies that bother you it's those pesky things which you see out of the corner of an eye that you think are flies.
An allotment is only 6' x 3' x 6'.
All the good jazz musicians are dead.
Lowering the tone a bit: Rigor Mortis is the only way to get it up. ---- *slam!*
You just don't give a damn anymore.
- You have a good crop of hair everywhere except on your head
Breakfasttime seems to come round again ever so fast
You used to like snow, but not any more. (Dujon) Fear not. There are some brilliant young ones around.
The place for chat with old friends is the chemist's and not the barber's.
When your wife says she has a headache she means it.
You have to sit down to put on your socks.
The only way you can tell what gender someone is is by their clothes.
You cannot rise up from or relax down into a chair without making a noise [grunt!] Disavower: some sounds may vary from others and might cause the grandchildren to giggle.
You realise your kids are older than the girls you're looking at in the pub.
You start to think that Frank Sinatra probably did have a reasonable voice.
In youth, you can do more and better things each year than you could the previous year. In old age, it is the reverse.
When contemplating doing anything new you wish you didn't know now what you didn't know when younger. (Raak) Not entirely true . . . . :-)
You take more drugs than a teenager but these keep you alive rather than hasten your death
You tell your friends how good Radio 2 has become.
You buy a drink for the sweet young thing chirruping on the barstool beside you and she responds with: ["Thanks Pops"]!!!
[Falstaff] And you respond: "Pardon?" :-)
You can remember when Tony Blackburn broadcast from a boat in the Thames.
You start thinking that you've reached middle age.
You stop looking after your children and start looking after your parents
[Projoy] That's middle age. Old is when your children look after you.
It's a bit late for suicide
You are genuinely pleased to receive socks as a birthday present.
You are genuinely pleased to have made it to another birthday
You are resigned to radical life-extension technology not arriving in time for you.
You really do need reading glasses. It creeps up on you. :-(
People referring to your age begin to say you're so many years young. It happened to me the other day. Bah!
...and tell you you're looking very well.
High Court judges start looking young. (Softers) NO!
When your arms are no longer long enough to read a newspaper. [Rosie] this is the marker :-)
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