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AVMA Take 2
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Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
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Robin Hood
This is going well
[Néa] - religious - NO
[Tuj] - human - YES
[Iroul] - from novel - NO
[Raak] - in film - Has been depicted on film, but originally NO
[Inks] - from mythology - NO
[Kim] - see above
[Dandalf] - SF - NO
[Inks] - Robin Hood - NO - *Huge round of applause*
Someone else who figures in the Robin Hood stories?
Soon be there
[Raak] in the Robin Hood stories? - YES
Maid Marian?
Sheriff of Nottingham?
Friar Tuck?
Little John?
Obviously not you, squire.:-)
BUGGER!, done it again. That last one was me. These drop-down lists are a pain in the posterior passage.
Will Scarlett?
[now firmly intruded) A merry man?
Well, there you go
[Rosie/Rock] Little John it is.
That wasn't very hard then, was it. Just as well, given my infrequent appearance on here in the last few days.
[ImNotLittleJohn] It was good to have a nice short one for a change.
agree .. although Inkspot landing on the precise area of fiction was inspired. How did he know that?
oooh
Maybe Inkspot is INJ's evil twin?
The clue was in how INJ answered Kim's first question it' a middle age thing.
Inkspot] You being middle-aged, or the historical Middle Ages?
[Irouléguy]It was just a poor cross server play on words type joke.
[Inkspot] I don't see how "(some hesitant applause)" would lead you to "Robin Hood", but I can see how INJ's answer to Raak's second question would help.
[Kim] I took the reply to your question to be a fiction based on someone, it was a toss up between 'mythology' or legend. When almost a day had passed I took a shot at the fella in green tights.
Sorry for the delay.
This one is MINERAL. Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.
Anthracite?
Diesel?
A manufactured object?
Are there more than one of these?
Is more than one mineral substance involved?
Anything to do with the weather?
(irach) - No
(Irouléguy) - No
(INJ) - Yes
(CdM) - Oh yes.
(Kim) - Yes
(Raak) - Not even a teensy little bit.
Clarification
(Kim) The object itself is one mineral substance in the way that the term is used in this game.
Is it made of plastic?
Is it used inside the house?
Small enough to pick up with one hand?
Inkspot - No
(Irouléguy) - No - *chuckles from a few members of the audience*
Raak - Yes
Is it made of metal?
Chalky - Indeed it is.
Could it be a component of other things (like a ball-bearing)?
Does it explode?
Is it a dream deferred?
InNotJohn - No
Raak - No
CdM - No, nothing as fancy.
does it always have a defined shape that is chaarcteristic to it, e.g. circular, square...?
Is it a weapon of some sort?
A boule?
A tool of some sort?
A sporting implement?
irach - Yes, a shape but not a simple geometrical one.
Chalky - No
Raak - Non
(ImNotJohn) - Only in an extremely broad sense. The answer really is No.
Kim - No.
Does it have moving parts?
A sculpture by Bathsheba Grossman?
As seen at http://www.bathsheba.com/.
Inkspot - No
Raak - No; functional rather than artistic.
Mobile Phone?
Phil - No (metal only)
Housekey?
A spoon?
A coin?
Is it made of steel?
Forget the coin question; geometric shape.
A car key?
We have a winner! Well done, Dandalf. The "word on the card" is front-door key, but that's near enough. That was too simple, wasn't it? Next time.....evil grin
ABSTRACT with ANIMAL and MINERAL connections
A work of art?
An organisation?
Picasso's 'Les demoiselles d'Avignon'?
A human construct?
(oblig)
Raak - No Rosie - No Irouleguy - Non! ImNotJohn - errrrrm....Yes and No (sorry!)
Oh Dear! - Sorry about lack of linebreaks. (hangs head in shame)
An activity?
A state of mind?
Raak - No
Irouleguy - That could describe the object on the card. *sprinkling of applause*
An emotion?
Thirst?
"The artist in despair at the magnitude of antique fragments"?
The Golden Age of Mankind?
Kim - No
Rosie - No
Raak - No - (laughter)
irach - No
Anarcho-syndicalism?
It had to be right eventually.
Patience on a monument?
(INJ) I'm thinking monkeys, typewriters and Shakespeare. :-)
INJ - No
Rosie - No - no link, however tenuous, to monkeys, typewriters and/or Shakespeare :)
An aspect of conscioussness?
[Kim] Too many "esses", precioussss
Hunger?
Kim - No
Inkspot - No
A hangover?
*yawns*
As this is going so slowly, I'll do a quick recap:

It is NOT:
 a work of art, an organisation, Picasso's "Les demoiselles..", an activity, an emotion, thirst, "The artist in despair ..", The Golden Age of Mankind, anarcho-syndicalism, patience on a monument, an aspect of consciousness, hunger.

It IS:
a state of mind, and may or may not be a human construct.
Is it a state of mind that a normal person would experience on a regular basis?
Is it an agreeable state of mind?
It the mineral part a liquid?
[Chalky]With Dandalf calling in once every couple of days this one is going to take weeks.
A mind as quick as quicksilver?
A cunning plan dancing naked upon a harpsichord and singing "Cunning Plans Are Here Again"?
Is the animal part human?
L'esprit de l'escalier?
Thinking of a snappy comeback ten minutes after the conversation
Absence?
To liken the sound of a harpsichord to two skeletons copulating on a tin roof?
Profound apologies to all for the long pause - I've been having modem problems.
INJ - No
Rosie - No
Inkspot - No
Irach - No (laughter)
Raak - No
INJ - Yes
Irouleguy - No
Rosie - No
Raak - No
Think entertainment. (One of my answers to Rosie contains a hint!)
Can it be experienced on ones own?
Is it an anthropomorphism?
Inspiration?
A film?
Paranoia?
INJ - The entertainment? - Yes
Kim- Yes
Snorgle - No
Chalky - No
Botherer - No
Is it connected to the weather?
Is it religious in nature?
Sorry again - can only use office computer [ ; ) ]
KIM - No
Projoy - No
Time for another hint? I've used one of the three words on the card in one of my answers to R.....
Anything to do with computers?
Anything to do with monkeys?
Is one of the words "no"?
Tears of Laughter?
Pretending to be a snail - literally hours of fun.
[Projoy] No - since it's not an activity.

Hm. Surely the fact that it's "an anthropomorphism" should be the main giveaway, except that I can't really put parameters on what that is, precisely.
Is the anthropomorphism male?
*is bored*
sorry Dandalf - I know it's not your fault - but up until 11 days ago this was the snappiest, sharpest game on this server. Forgive me - you see, I started this game and there's a sense of personal pride. How shallow am I? :-)
(Chalky) You make Hamsey Green pond look like the Marianas Trench. No, not really, honestly.
Methinks its time to put this one to sleep. If you don't get it after this you are all "The w------ ----" and you leave with nothing!
The Weakest Link?
I think I may be right. Hahahah! Thanks Dandalf :-)
In the interests of the game I shall decline the 'chair' - mainly because I won't be able to post regularly during the daytimes.
[Rosie?] would you care to take my place?
Shame
I can't help feeling we should have got closer to that. The 'state of mind' is what put me off the track for quite some time. I sympathise with Dandalf though as I also often find it difficult to look in more than a couple of times a day and once at weekends if I'm lucky.
Chalky - You are the strongest link.
(Chalky) Strictly we ought to wait till Dandalf rubber-stamps it, even though you're obviously right. OK, I'll do one even thought I got nowhere near the answer.
This one is ANIMAL
Non-human?
Non-alive?
non-edible?
Is it native to a particular country?
irach - No
CdM - Yes
ImNotJohn - Probably not, now
Inkspot - Was (see answer to irach and CdM)
Clarification - (INJ) Probably not edible, I meant.
Non-fictional?
Male?
rach - Yes
Raak - Yes
Is he European?
Mozart?
Anything to do with either monkeys, typewriters or Shakespeare?
A broadcaster?
Inkspot - Yes
Irouléguy - No
Kim - Not a thing
Phil - No
Might I make a suggestion? This game went through a period [I think CdM started the trend and I'm sure you, Rosie, amongst others, followed the initiative] of putting the Yes/No replies next to, not just the name of the questioner, but also a C&P of the question. For those folks, like me at the moment, who can only rush in for a few moments, there isn't time to trawl back through the questions to match them to the replies .. so I end up not bothering to frame a question of my own. It may make for more participation ..
Born in the 18th Century?
Is he Welsh?
(Chalky) OK, not a bad idea.
Kim - Born in 18th C - No
Inkspot - Welsh? - Nag'dy (No)
Musically inclined chap?
A poet?
Well that's me stumped.
Born in the 19th Century?
(irach) Musical? - Not known for it.
Inkspot - Poet? - No
Kim - Born 19th century? - No.
- Born in the 20th Century?
Did he hold a political office?
British?
A scientist?
A cultural figure?
Dandalf - Born in 20th C? - No
Raak - Held a political office? - Well, sort of. Not what he's known for
ImNotJohn - British? - No
Inkspot - A scientist? - Yes *considerable applause*
Irouléguy - A cultural figure - No.
An astronomer?
Einstein?
Oops, not borh in 19th or 20th century. Ignore that, try this:
Galileo?
ImNotJohn - An astronomer? -Yes
Raak - Not Galileo.
Was he German?
Inkspot - German? - No
Did he have a silver nose?
.. Or Copper Knickers?
Is it indeed Copernicus? If so, award the win to Chalky.
Kepler?
Yes, his underwear was unusual and cupric, so courtesy of irach, CHALKY is the winner. (Raak) Don't geddit. :-(
[Rosie] Raak is referring to Tycho Brahe.
Here is The Straight Dope on the subject.
Marvellous - y'learn something new every day

V. generous [irach] :-) I now have a little more time to do one of these, so I think we'll go for ...

V E G E T A B L E
Tony Blair's Cabinet?
Does it grow on trees?
Is it edible?
Is it manufactured?
Hey Chalky, it's been more than an hour since Raak's question...
Is it just one species of vegetable?
[Raak] TB's cabinet? No *chuckle*
[Inks] Does it grow on trees? No
[INJ] Edible? Yes
[CdM] Manufactured? um .. Yes
[CdM] Yes - he's very eager, isn't he?
[Iroule] One species? Yes
Does it require cooking to make it edible?
[C/C] I just asked the question, I can wait...
[Raak] Cooking? Yes [with hesitation]
Is it a (culinary) dish?
Does it grow underground?
Porridge?
Is it a root vegetable?
(Raak) re Tycho Brahe - I didn't know that. What is also not too well known is that he died of a burst bladder and the consequent peritonitis. At a boozy banquet with the King of Denmark he dared not leave the table until His Maj had got up despite a certain degree of urgency. Awful.
Does it come in a tin?
Just seen irach's question, so my previous one was superfluous. Tut, tut!
- sauerkraut?
Associated with a particular country?
[Rosie] Ouch. I'm glad I just knew the nose part before!
[INJ] Culinary dish? Culinary = as in pertaining to the kitchen? Yes. Dish? Debatable
[Irach] Underground? No
[Raak] Porridge? No
[Rosie] Root veg? No
[Rosie] Come in a tin? Can do :-)
[Dandalf] sauerkraut? No
[Tuk] Associated with a particular country? Good question. More a particular region, I'd say
Is it a form of offal?
I like the story of his pet elk falling downstairs drunk after too much beer the best.
Ah, vegetable. Ok, is it a veggie imitation of some sort of offal?
Brussels sprouts?
Delicious steamed, or boiled quickly with chestnuts. Curried sprouts not such a good idea though.
[Raak] Fake offal? No :-)
[Iroule] Brussels Sprouts? No

NB: Correction to my reply to Inkspot's first question "Does it grow on trees?" - broadly speaking, my reply should have been Yes.
A fruit of some kind?
[Rosie] A fruit of some kind? No
Is the region it's associated with in Europe?
A spice?
It grows on trees - is it Spaghetti?
[Iroule] Europe? No
[Dandalf] A spice? No
[Kim] Grows on trees? - Yes, but not spaghetti
Associated with Asia?
Does one drink it?
[INJ] Asia? Yes *cheers from audience*
[Raak] Drink it? Yes *even louder cheers from audience*
Darjeeling tea?
[Iroule] Darjeeling tea? ONE WORD is correct! *gasps of anticipation*
Jee, darling, which could it be? Um...Assam tea?
Earl Grey Tea? (©Alan Bennett)
[Iroule] Assam tea? sorry, No
[Rosie] Earl Grey Tea? No to that as well :-(
Is there just one word on the card?
[Raak] There are TWO words on the card [one of them is tea] and I predict you'll guess it very soon ...
Green Tea?
Actually, I hope I'm wrong as I'm just about to go away and be incommunicado until Sunday evening.
Jasmine tea?
Oolong tea?
Isn't it always the way ... ImNotJohn wins it by a short head from his uncle!
I'll hand over the baton - do with it as you will ...
There will now be a short intermission, while ImNotJohn goes away.
And then again
Struggling slightly with an azerty keyboard, as I'm logged in at Hbach's. So here's an Abstract to be going on with. I might get on again tomorrow morning.
The azerty keyboard layout?
Dexterity?
Qwerty?
The notion of nationality?
Is it an action?
Is it a work of art?
Arachno-syndicalism (sic)
Back to normal now
[Raak]: azerty keyboard - NO
[Rosie]: Dexterity? - NO
[Kim]: qwerty - NO
[Tuj]: notion of nationality - NO
[Inkspot]: an action - NO
[Chalky]: a work of art? - NO
[Rosie]: The National UInion of Spiders - NO
One of the seven deadly sins?
[Chalky] a deadly sin - NO
A natural occurrence?
Something mathematical?
[Chalky]: natural occurrence - NO
[Raak]: Something mathematical? - NO (one or two of the audience are raised from their slumbers)
Something geometric?
[Kim]: Something geometric - NO (the level of snoring is rapidly rising towards previous levels)
A human construct? [well - someone had to ask]
Something to do with time?
[Chalky]: human construct? - YES
[Inks]: Something to do with time? - NO
An invention?
Still cold
[Chalky]: invention? - NO
A form of entertainment?
Are numbers involved?
Getting Warmer
[Chalky]: A form of entertainment? - Not in itself (but you've woken the audience up)
[Iroul]: Are numbers involved? - YES (but only loosely)
Is it something that comes in the form of a set of a certain number of things?
7 D S, 3 B M, 4 C V, etc.
[Raak] a numbered set? - NO (but the odd stutter of stifled applause)
Any music connections?
[Chalky] music connections? - NO
Is this a game of some sort?
and if so, more specifically, a card game?
A lottery?
[Chalky]: a game of some sort? - NO, not as such (But some applause)
[Dandalf]: a card game? - NO, not as such (Loud and prolonged applause)
[Raak] - a lottery? - NO
Solitaire?
A competition of some kind?
A sport?
the audience subsides
[Néa]: Solitaire? - NO (I see where you're coming from, but I would have called that a game - I'm not being deliberately awkward)
[Chalky]: A competition? - NO
[Projoy]: A sport? - NO
Anything to do with greetings cards?
A day that celebrates something?
[Raak]: greetings cards - NO (clever but not close)
[Chalky]:A day that celebrates something? - NO
As the audience has indicated - Dandalf is the person who's got closest so far
Is it anything to do with gambling?
[Chalky]: connected with gambling? - YES (applause)
Is a set of playing cards involved?
Bingo?
Betting Slips (especially abstract ones)
Political Voting?
(ignore my last)
Damn, I meant political betting. Although I'm now going to change again and ask whether it's an election.
Quite warm now
[Raak]: Is a set of playing cards involved? - YES
[Raak] Bingo - NO
[Projoy]: Political Voting/Betting/election? - NO
Tarot
[Projoy]: Tarot - NO (neither divination nor the game - since it isn't a game)
A card trick?
[Iroul]: A card trick? - NO
shufflling?
-l
[Projoy]: shuffling - NO
I don't think you need a clue - you've got the information you need to home in on this.
Three Card Monte?
(although I suppose that is probably classified as a card trick, come to think of it)
Dealing?
[CdM]: Three Card Monte? - NO - there's no trickery involved
[Chalky]: Dealing? - NO
Is it the name of one of the suits?
[Projoy]: a suit - NO
You're not taking sufficient account of one of the bits of audience reaction
A full house?
Bridge?
Not a game; war.
"the turn of a card"
Marked cards?
[CdM]: A full house? - NO (gasp from the audience mixed with loud and prolonged applause)
[Rosie]: Bridge? - NO
[Chalky]: the turn of a card? - NO
[Raak]: Marked cards? - NO
A Royal Flush?
House of Cards (the metaphor, hence abstract)
A winning hand?
Two pairs?
We have a winner
And Chalky it is - a Royal Flush.
Over to you.
oops
oh dear - I didn't intend to win that, even though I made a lot of the running. Erm ... how about a nice easy
V E G E T A B L E [with a teensy bit of Abstract]
to get us through the day ..
edible?
A deserved victory, I thought, though CdM's close shave nearly brought about a lurkers win.
Is it a fruit?
[INJ] Edible? NO
[Iroule] Fruit? NO
Manufactured/Processed?
Wood?
[CdM] Manufactured/Processed? YES
[Raak] Wood? NO
Paper?
Cotton?
Textile?
[Dandalf] Paper? NO
[Inks] Cotton? YES *audience cheers*
[Raak] Textile? YES
clothing?
Jeans?
Welsh Rugby shirt
[INJ] Clothing? audience gasps and anticipates a speedy conclusion* YES
[Projoy] Jeans? NO
[Inks] Welsh Rugby Shirt? NO
A Gap t-shirt?
(adding in a teensy bit of abstract)
[CdM] Gap t-shirt? NO (well referenced, though :-))
Incy wincy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini?
A little bit of both
the shirt off my back?
Scrub that... How about "my little cotton socks"?
Knickers?
[Inks] i w t w y p d bikini? Isn't it 'itsy witsy' - you may be confusing said garment with a spider :-) NO
[Projoy] the shirt off your back? scrubbed .... but

.. YOU ARE CORRECT WITH 'LITTLE COTTON SOCKS' [Aw bless]

[Rosie] same to you :-)

*vacates the chair to make room for Projoy*
Hmmm. OK. ANIMAL & VEGETABLE (abstract too, but we needn't worry too much about that). I'm going away at the weekend, so I might hand the answer to some trustworthy person if we haven't got it by then...
A bit of further research reveals there is probably a small MINERAL part to it, but don't get too hung up on it.
A manufactured item?
[Inks, Chalky] I believe it's actually "itsy bitsy".
Is it something to eat?
[INJ] Manufactured - YES, literally
[Raak] To eat - NO.
A sporran?
[INJ] A sporran - NO (out of curiosity, is there anything vegetable in a sporran?)
A musical instrument?
Raak - musical instrument - NO, not musical
Something you wear?
Vegetable in a sporran - surely the authentic ones have real thistles?
[Irouléguy] Something you wear - NO
Is the animal part leather?
[Raak] Leather? Hm. I had to resort to a dictionary to find the answer, which is NO (but only just)
Is the vegetable part some sort of colouring?
[Raak] vege coloring? YES!
Woad?
(INJ) Itsy bitsy it is. I heard it when it first came out ca 1959. Even amongst us horny 16-yr-olds it was regarded as simply pathetic.
Is the not-really-leather part parchment?
Is the animal part a particular non-human animal?...if that makes sense
The Magna Carta?
Is it an object which can fit in the palm of your hand?
Is the animal part (which isn't leather) some other products of animal skin?
A knitted tea-cosy? [something manufactured (literally!) from dyed sheep's wool but which isn't worn]
[CdM] YES!!! - a superb bit of deduction.
and for the other questions, therefore...
[Raak] YES, vellum to be precise
[Inkspot] YES, a goat, I think, although I'm not sure
[Dandalf] NO
[Kim] YES
[Dandalf] Good guess, but NO

Well, that's handy, as I now have to go and catch my train to Manchester to see Lib singing. Over to you, CdM.
OK... This one is ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections.
is the animal human?
Human? No.
Did it happen in the past?
Is the animal a symbol?
Fictional?
Did it happen in the past? Did what happen in the past?
Animal a symbol? That is not its primary purpose, but it can be interpreted in a symbolic way. I'm not sure that's helpful, though.
Fictional? Yes.
Capricon?
Is the animal a carnivore?
Written fiction?
A mythical creature?
Capricorn? No.
Carnivore? Yes.
Written fiction? In part, yes.
Mythical? No (unless you take a very broad definition of mythical).
The lion king?
Lion king? No.
A single specific animal?
Aslan?
A cartoon character?
Agnus Dei?
If we find out the animal, will we have the answer?
Single specific animal? Yes.
Aslan? No.
Cartoon character? Yes (unless you take a very narrow definition of cartoon) *applause*
Agnus Dei? No.
Animal = answer? Yes.
Clarification: I should probably have answered 'Cartoon Character?' with "In part, yes".
Is the cartoon part animated?
Jessica Rabbit?
A newspaper cartoon?
Animated? In part, yes.
JR? No.
Newspaper cartoon? In part, yes.
There is a noticeable lack of applause accompanying these partly correct suggestions.
Did this fictional carnivore first exist in writing?
Was it first illustrated before 1948?
First exist in writing? I could answer "in part, yes", but I think it is fairer to say that 'in writing' is not how one would typically describe its first incarnation.
First inkspotted, er, illustrated before 1948? Yes. *applause*
Rupert Bear?
RB? No.
Is the animal a mammal?
Mammal? Strictly speaking, I think the answer has to be no. *some muttering in the audience*
Was its creator Walt Disney?
Is the animal aquatic?
Disney creation? No.
Aquatic? No.
Summing up: we are looking for a fictional, carnivorous, single specific animal, which is in part a newspaper cartoon character, and in part an animated cartoon character (we don't know if those are the same parts) and in part comes from written fiction, though "'in writing' is not how one would typically describe its first incarnation." It can be interpreted symbolically, though that's not necessarily helpful, and it is not mythical. Strictly speaking, it's not a mammal (though the audience muttered about that answer). It's neither a Disney creation, nor acquatic.

Was its first incarnation in the 19th century?
No wonder the audience muttered - it's either a mammal or not a mammal - nothing in between, however strictly one speaks!
Does it appear in the works of Lewis Carroll?
Is it aimed at an adult audience?
Hobbes?
[Irouléguy] Excellent summation. Minor clues: I would not put too much emphasis either on newspaper cartoons or written fiction.
[Dandalf] Well, we can discuss that when the round is over. :-)
19th Century? No.
Lewis Carroll? No. *some smiles in the audience*
Adult audience? That's not really the target market, although many adults like at least some incarnations.
Hobbes? No.
A clue: When I set this AVMA I expected a question to which I could give a correct but misleading answer. And you fell right into my trap. Mwahahahaha!
Does the animal take human form?
Human form? Yes! *applause*
A superhero?
Superhero? Yes. *applause*
Superman?
*hands the kryptonite rod to Raak*
Superman? YES!

As for "mammal", my uncertainty was the following. As far as I know, Superman has all of the traits that are usually taken as defining a mammal. But I think that the strict definition of the term has an evolutionary basis, and thus cannot apply to someone not from earth. I expect to be corrected by either a biologist or the morniverse equivalent of Comic-Book Man from The Simpsons.
MINERAL
Largely or exclusively metal?
An engagement ring?
Manufactured?
[CdM] Mostly metal? Yes.
[I] Not an engagement ring.
[Rosie] Manufactured? Yes.
Bigger than a phonebox?
Unique?
[GL] Bigger than a phonebox.
[Néa] Unique.
A sculpture?
Is it in the UK?
[Phil] Not a sculpture.
[I] Not in the U.K. (the audience is amused)
Eiffel Tower? [CdM] You win! but (a) not mythical and (b) carnivore (are you sure?) suggested a real biological species.
[Davdand] Not the Eiffel Tower.
Beagle 2
[Inkspot] (APPLAUSE!) Not Beagle 2.
Extant?
[D] You may well be right about my answer to "mythical?". Since I had already said that the answer was fictional, I interpreted 'mythical' more narrowly. But one definition of 'mythical' is 'fictitious', so perhaps I was misleading. As for carnivore, I recently saw an episode of Lois and Clark (not my fault; my daughter is currently Superman-obsessed) in which Clark Kent ate a hamburger...
A more successful solar exploration thingy?
[Cdm]I would agree with you on your interpretation of 'mythical'. Superman could not be described as a mythical creature or person.
[I] Yes. (More applause! )
Voyager?
Not the Star Trek variety.
[Projoy] Not Voyager.
The Tardis?
I'd agree with CdM too, particulaly as Superman is a member of a particular (fictional) species. Is one difference between fiction and myth that a fiction has a specific author, but a myth doesn't? (Although that would make Robin Hood mythical rather than fictional, so hmm...)
[I] Not the Tardis. (the audience look glum)
Skylab?
I don't agree with CdM, Superman is an omnivore rather than a carnivore just like Ordinaryman.
A European mission?
[GL] Not Skylab.
[I] (pause to research this) Partly European.
Cassini-Huygens?
Yes! When I checked up on the telephone box q, I was quite surprised to find out how big it is.
Yay, thank you for that one Raak, and for my first time in the chair in this game ANIMAL
A single animal?
Mammal?
A single animal - Yes
Mammal - Yes
that should read [Irouléguy]A single animal - Yes [Gusset Login]Mammal - Yes
Currently alive?
[Raak]Currently alive - No
Human animal?
[irach] Human animal - Yes
Male?
[I] That's not a distinction I saw in my googling/dictionary checking, but it's an interesting idea. Mind you, at this point Superman certainly has multiple authors as well.
[GL] My bad: I think you're right. It is pretty clear at least that Superman is not an "obligate carnivore" (a term I just learned, meaning solely flesh-eating). And given that I also saw Superman eat a bomb in another episode, "omnivore" seems more appropriate. Googling seems to indicate, however, that the strict definition of these terms has to do with the necessity of different types of food in terms of nutrients. I actually have no idea if Superman has to eat anything.
British?
Scientist?
[Rosie]British - Yes
[irach] Scientist - No
Best known for cultural/artistic achievements?
[ImNotJohn]Best known for cultural/artistic achievements - Yes
Purcell?
[Raak]Purcell - No
Alive in the 20th century?
Musical connections?
[Raak]Alive in the 20th century - Yes
[ImNotJohn] Musical connections - No
An Actor?
You didn't answer CdM's question about maleness
ooops
[CdM]Male - Yes
[Gusset Login] - An Actor - No
A painter and/or sculptor?[sneaking in two for the price of one ;-) ]
A writer?
A mime?
[Dandalf] A painter and/or sculptor - No
[Rosie]A writer - taking the narrowest definition No
[Raak]A mime - No
A performer of some sort?
[Gusset Login] A performer of some sort - No
To do with cinema?
[Dandalf] To do with cinema - No
A poet, then?
[Rosie] A poet - YES
Siegfried Sassoon?
T.S. Elliot?
Rabbie Burns?
Ted Hughes
[CdM]Siegfried Sassoon - No
[irach] T.S. Elliot - No
[Chalky] Rabbie Burns - No
[Phil]Ted Hughes - No
Philip Larkin?
Wilfred Owen?
English?
[Rosie]Philip Larkin - No
[CdM] Wilfred Owen - YES and Yes it was he, and so the chair is yours.
An Easy One
I think the audience was being a little harsh not to give my earlier Sassoon guess at least a smattering of applause. Anyway, this is ABSTRACT, with ANIMAL connections.
Is it a fictional human?
Fictional human? No.
Is the animal connection human?
Animal connection human? Yes.
A mythical human?
Mythical human? No. *some wry chuckling in the audience*
Is this a place where humans go/gather together?
tut tut - ignore the 'together' - that's tautology, I believe.
Place where humans go? No, although it could be a cause of humans gathering together.
Is it an anniversary?
Is it your birthday?
:-)
Is it conected to religion?
Is it a specific date?
Is it an emotion?
An election?
Possibly setting a new record...
The answer is indeed, My Birthday. You can fill in the other answers for yourselves. *hands baton (lit at one end) to Chalky*
Oh, and sorry I didn't answer these sooner, but I was busy drinking margaritas.
.. and many happy returns, dear CdM :-)

OK - in the hot seat again. This time I'll go for:

V E G E T A B L E with M I N E R A L and a smidgin of A B S T R A C T
Is the vegetable wood?
Happy birthday!
A work of art?
Is it a unique item?
very good questions ...
[Iroule] Wood? YES
[Raak] Work of art? Sort of - YES
[GL] Unique? Yes, one could say that.
[Iroule] It's CdM's birthday today - mine is next week :-)
Seen in a museum?
Is the mineral metal?
[irach] Seen in a museum? No
[Dandalf] Metal? A small part is metal
Another crucifix?
[Raak] Another crucifix? No
Larger than a telephone box?
Any religious significance?
A decoration of some sort?
Smaller than a telephone box?
A wooden telephone box?
[Dandalf] Larger than a telephone box? No
[INJ] Religious significance? No
[Rosie] Decoration? Can be decorative - but not primary purpose
[GL] see above
[Raak] wooden TB? No
Is it in Britain?
A door?
[Rosie] In Britain? Yes
[Dandalf] A door? No - but you are moving towards the right area
Is it in a town/city?
A window box?
[Rosie] Town/City? Yes
[Raak] Window Box? No
City?
Is it normally found indoors?
Is it hand carved?
[GL] This one is in a city, yes.
[Phil] Indoors? No
[Inks] Hand-carved? Nothing so exotic.
The fact that Phil has joined the game is a BIG clue .
A pub sign?
[CdM] Pub Sign? YES - that's close enough for a *huge roar of applause from the audience*
Now guess which pub.
The Three Crowns?
[Inks] Not the Three Crowns
Elephant and Castle?
Is there an animal connection in the sign?
Is the pub in Ratby?
The Red Lion?
The Bull's Head?
The Nag's Head?
[Rosie] Elephant & Castle? No
[Inkspot] Animal connection? No
[Raak] Ratby? No
[GL] The Red Lion? No
[Phil] The Bull's Head? No
[all] The Nag's Head? No
Is this just one particular pub?
Head of Steam?
The Hogg's Head?
The words "Straws" and "Clutching" spring to mind
The Clutching Straws?
[Rosie] One particular pub? I'd already replied to GL earlier that it's unique - so Yes.
[CdM] Head of Steam? No
[GL] The Hogg's Head? No
[Raak] The Clutching Straws? No :-)

I'm not sure how many pub names there are in the Cities and Towns of the UK, but yu can be assured that I don't expect you to start guessing them all. C'mon - there HAS to be a hook ....
The Fisherman's Arms?
You said there had to be a hook...
Is this a single famous pub (like The Prospect of Whitby)?
Does the name relate to an MC player?
[GL] The Fisherman's Arms? No
[INJ] Single famous pub? I suppose you could call it famous [in its area] *murmurs of approval from the audience for INJ's line of questioning*
[CdM] Does the name relate to an MC player? No
Is it also the name of an underground station?
Is it in London?
One of the pubs that claims to be the oldest in Britain?
If I don't live in the area would I still have heard of it?
Bolsover Hall?
The Euston Flyer?
The Swiss Cottage?
[INJ] Underground station? No
[CdM] London? No
[INJ] Oldest in Britain? No
[GL] Heard of it? Probably not - but I have :-)
[INJ] Bolsover Hall? No
[Iroule] Euston Flyer? No
[PJ] Swiss Cottage? No
Is it your local?
Is it in Devon?
Is it in Cornwall?
[INJ] My local? Yes it is, as it happens, but I wouldn't expect you to know it because of that! It is well-known around these parts for another reason
[Inks] Devon/Cornwall? No
Is it in Dorset?
Working my around the country
Is it in Wiltshire?
Four down 35 or so to go
[Inks] In Wiltshire - where I live.

In fact to speed things up a bit, it's in Salisbury.
The Haunch of Venison?
(I googled for famous pubs in Salisbury)
The Anchor and Hope?
Loking for pubs with no animal connection
[GL] The Haunch of Venison? good guess - but not the right place.
[Inks] Anchor & Hope? No.

Tip: google for pubs that have brewed their own beer and then become quite famous for doing so ...
Surely not The Wyndham Arms - of Summer Lightning fame?
The Moonraker?
[Phil] The Wyndham Arms? Oh YESYESYES. Just round the corner from me. The answer on the card is 'The Sign Outside The Wyndham Arms' so I shall gladly hand over the chair to you, landlord :-)
[Chalky] I am so jealous, locationwise.
OK - well, I've not done one of these before, but I'm at my desk off and on all day (and night), so here goes.

ANIMAL


Human?
[Projoy] Human? Yes
Still alive?
Female?
A single individual?
[GL] Alive? Yes
[all] Female? No
[CdM] Single individual? Yes
British?
[INJ] British? Yes
Is this person in the news on a regular basis?
Is he under 50?
Associated with the arts/culture?
Is he under 30?
Is he famously involved with sport?
A musician?
Is he a regular in the Morniverse?
[Chalky] Hmmm...not in the news as such
[GL] Under 50? Yes
[INJ] Arts/culture? Yes
murmur from audience
[Projoy] <30 ? No
[all] sport? not any more mixture of confused "huh?" and knowledgeable "ah" from audience
[Inkspot] Musician? Yes another murmur
[Irguy] Morniverse? No
Ian Broudie?
[Projoy] Broudie? No
Nigel Kennedy?
[GL] Kennedy? No
Over 40?
Pop music or classical?
[Projoy] >40? Yes
[Dandalf] Pop or classical? Yes

Hint: Music is not how he makes his living.

Is he a politician?
[Raak] Politician? No
Does he make his living as a writer?
Is he a broadcaster?
Yes Pop, Yes Classical or Yes both?
[CdM] Writer? Sometimes
[Rosie] Broadcaster? Hmmm...is probably best known for TV work, if that's what you mean
[Dandalf] pop/classical? Probably a bit of both, but it's not really important.
Is he a celebrity cook/chef?
[Chalky] Cook/Chef? No

[Clarification for Rosie] Broadcaster - if a broadcaster is someone like David Dimbleby, Jeremy Paxman, David Frost, then the answer is No

An actor?
[GL] Actor? Yes - (applause and sighs of relief from audience)
Primarily known as a film actor?
FORGET THAT
Just seen the 'best known for TV work' - So
Primarily known for comedy?
Well known for his sci-fi work?
Hugh Laurie?
Vinnie Jones?
David Tenant?
[INJ] Comedy? Yes
[GL] SF? No
[Rosie] Hugh Laurie? YES!
[Projoy and all] VJ/DT? See above :-)

Congrats, Rosie, we await your teaser with baited breath. Meanwhile, I'd be curious to know how many people knew what Hugh Laurie's sporting background is?

Rowlocks
Well, I certainly didn't. To save other people having to look it up, HL rowed for Cambridge in the 1980 boat race.
out of tune
I didn't realise he was a musician either. Talented chap.
[mutter, fader] Hello!
I've got one if Rosie's busy.
Although it's not 1am yet, so he'll probably be on shortly :)
And here he is . . . .
(Chalky) Not a bad jazz pianist, Mr L.
And the next object is . . . ABSTRACT
A wild guess?
Climate change?
Sociolinguistics?
Gravity?
A human construct?
Or perhaps a natural phenomenon?
String theory?
Light?
(Irg) A wild guess? - Have another one.:-)
(Phil) Climate change? - No (It's snowing here in bleak upland Surrey)
(Néa) Sociolinguistics? - No
(GL) Gravity? - No
(INJ) A human construct? - No
(Chalky) A natural phenomenon? - Yes *a slight ripple of applause*
(Raak) String theory? - No, or brass either. :-)
(all) Light? - No, but *considerable applause*
A rainbow?
Relativity
Cataracts?
Weather-related?
It's been snowing here in bleak upland Farringdon too
Dark?
Does the answer on the card involve "light"?
sunlight?
(Raak) - Not a rainbow
(Projoy) - Not relativity
(Kim) - Not cataracts
(Irouléguy) Weather-related? - Can be, but no more than that
(Gusset Login) Dark? - No
(Tuj) No, but *a little applause* nevertheless
(all) No, but again *some applause*
Moonbeams?
The vernal equinox?
An Eclipse?
The dawn chorus?
Sunrise?
(Raak) Moonbeams? - No, nor polka dots, alas
(INJ) Vernal Equinox - No
(GL) Dawn chorus - No
(all) Sunrise? - No
Sundogs?
It's some bloody weather thing, isn't it? ;-)
Is the light natural (as opposed to human-generated)?
Aurora ?
Optimism?
(Raak) Sundogs? - No, not page 3 girls
(Projoy) Some weather thing? - No, that would be a bit corny. What do you take me for, sir?
(Irouléguy) Could be either ("Light" is not on the card though some would have put it there)
(irach) Not the Aurora
(Chalky) Optimism? - Regrettably yours is misplaced this time.
I'm possibly being a little particular, but everybody has heard of this and knows what it is.
Lengthening Evenings?
Scratch that, how about "starshine"?
Phosphorescence?
Is it anything to do with the passage of time?
(Projoy) Starshine? - No (or lengthening evenings)
(Raak) Phosphorescence - No, but *a slight murmur of appreciation*
(Chalky) The passage of time - No
Radiation?
photosynthesis?
A mirage?
(GL) Radiation - Yes. - Now, which sort?
(Projoy) Photosynthesis? - No
(Irouléguy) A mirage - No.
Electromagnetic Radiation?
infra-red?
Come to think of it, we seldom refer to infra-red light, so perhaps ultra-violet instead?
Step forth, the immaculately-tanned Projoy! ULTRAVIOLET it is. Ironically there's an article about the current tanning fad in today's Grauniad.
Hmmm...
This one might be very easy indeed or a bit of a bastard. It's NOT ANIMAL, VEGETABLE NOR MINERAL and although it is ABSTRACT in one way it's also a real thing.
Gravity?
A tan?
[Raak] gravity, no
[Rosie] a tan, no
That thing called love?
Fiction?
The speed of light?
[all] Luurrve, nope
[GL] Fiction, nope
[Ig] the speed of light, nope
Atmosphere?
Is it just one thing?
[GL] Atmos, no. [Ig] One thing, yes.
Sexual orientation?
How well you know me, dear Raak, but no, it's not that.
Is it s human construct?
Is it q human construct?
[Kim, all] It is neither, nor is it, for the sake of brevity a human construct, or even an human construct.
Can it be seen?
Is it weather related?
Electricity?
Is it a form of sound?
Is it any form of natural disaster?
[Raak] Can it be seen? No
[GL] Weather related... not really, only in the most unhelpful tangential way
[all] Electricity - no
[Raak] Form of sound - no
[Rosie] Natural disaster - debatable, but you could say yes

(Incidentally there have been a couple of answers so far where I perhaps should have used the studio audience, but thought it would make it much too easy. I'll bring them back if it seems like it's too hard)
Global warming?
[Raak] Global warming - Nope.
[Raak] I should perhaps add that a flat "no" to "Can it be seen?" is perhaps a teeny bit misleading. There are some rather specialised senses in which it can be seen, although most people would say that it can't.
Actually, after further thought, I should think even the specialists, when pressed, would say that it can't be seen.
An epidemic?
A soul?
[Rosie] Not an epidemic
[Phil] Not a soul (and my I be damned for all eternity if I ever claim without caveat that such a thing exists!)
A past event?
[Ig] Past event, yes and no. :)
The Big Bang?
[CdM] The Big Bang, no. *murmurs of interest in the audience, who are now back from their tea break*
The Begining?
[all] The beginning, nope.
Any connection with astronomy or cosmology?
The soul? It's a metaphor. Your eternal damnation is on hold :-)
Evolution?
[Rosie] connected with astronomy/cosmology, YES *applause*
[Ig] Evolution, no.
An orbit?
[Raak] An orbit, no. *sound of several members of audience leaning forward at the same time*
Black Hole?
The Universe?
[Phil] Black Hole, YES
[Kim] The Universe? Only the bent parts of it :)
Yikes - two wins now! I think it was the "can it be seen" explanation that triggered the realisation. Anyway, here goes for a new one.

Mineral - with an animal reference

Is it bigger than a toaster?
Cat's-eye (Chrysoberyl)?
A cat-flap?
Pot-shot from 50 yds hoping the goalie's asleep.
[Projoy] Bigger than toaster, Yes
[irach] Chrysoberyl, no
[Rosie] Cat-flap, no
Is it bigger than a tank? A WW2 one, that is.
Is it metal?
A fish-eye lens?
Is there just one of it?
[Projoy] Bigger than tank, yes
[GL] metal, no
[Kim] fish-eye lens, no
[Raak] Just one, yes
The Dog Star?
The Horsehead Nebula?
[Projoy] Dog star, no
[GL] Horsehead nebula, no
Is this a sea or ocean?
[Chalky] Sea or ocean, no
A sculpture?
[Chalky] Sculpture, no
Man-made?
[Néa] Man-made, no
A geographical feature?
Pluto?
An astronomical feature?
[Raak] Geog. feature, yes - smallish ripple of applause from audience
[Kim] Pluto, no
[GL] Astronomical, no
A mountain?
Is the animal connection figurative, eg The Old Man of Hoy?
The Cerne Abbas Giant?
Is the animal reference human?
[Projoy] mountain, no - applause from audience
[Rosie] Figurative animal connection, yes - considerable applause from audience
[GL] Cerne Abbas Giant, no
[irach] human reference, yes
Is it in Britain?
[GL] in Britain, yes
Is the human reference a name?
[CdM] Name, yes - applause
The Old Man of Hoy?
Forget that, not really a person's name. How about Arthur's Seat?
[Raak] Hoy, no
[Raak - take 2] YES Didn't think that would go so fast.
V. bsy atm so may only lk in cpl times a day.
M I N E R A L with V E G E T A B L E connections
Bonsai Mountain?
[GL] Molehill? No.
Natural feature?
You nicked my "intellectual property", y' bastard. You'll be hearing from Messrs. Sue, Grabbit and Runne. :-)
[Rosie] Not natural.
A mostly metallic object?
[Rosie] Mostly metallic? Tricky. By weight, yes, by volume, no.
Is it one single object?
[I] Single object? No (in the sense that there are many of these).
Can this be consumed?
[Chalky] Cannot be consumed.
It is bigger than a 'phone box?
Is the vegetable part alive?
[Kim] Not bigger than a phone box.
[GL] Not alive.
Is the vegetable wood?
Is the metallic part a sort of framework?
Is it bigger than a breadbox?
[I] (slight murmurings from the audience) No.
[R] No.
[GL] Usually.
Is the vegatable paper?
[Kim] Yes! applause
Is it something to do with money?
[I] Nothing to do with money.
Is it a decoration?
[Rosie] Not a decoration.
A filing cabinet (full)?
An Underground Map?
[Dandalf] No.
[Phil] No, not much metal in one of those.
I was thinking of the sort on display on a tube station, but was wrong anyway.
Is the paper for writing on?
[Rosie] (a ripple of interest) Er, yes and no. (the audience appreciates the questionmaster's Solomonic wisdom)
Is the paper for printing on?
[Kim] Er, yes and no. (the audience responds in the same way)
Is the mineral the bit that does the printing/writing?
Is the paper actually part of the object on the card or is it used in connection with the object?
[Dandalf] In connection with. Vegetable connections, remember.
Please may I have a reply to my last question?
A pen?
A fax machine?
[Chalky] No.
[Chalky] Yes.
[GL] no.
[R] No (but the audience have woken up again).
Toner?
Photocopier?
[GL] No.
[all] No. (the audience eagerly anticipate the final chase)
Laser Printer?
Typewriter?
[GL] No.
[Dandalf] No.
A Printing Press?
[Phil] No.
Stereotype?
A scanner?
[Projoy] No.
[Rosie] No.
Polaroid camera?
Invisible Ink?
Shurely not a Gestetner?
A dot-matrix printer?
Mimeograph?
(although in that case, Rosie already got it. All hail Corflu!)
A shredder?
[all] No.
[Chalky] No.
[Rosie] No.
[I] No.
[Néa] No.
[Phil] YES. A paper shredder.
Well, I seem to be getting rather fluky at these lately. OK, I'll try and think up one that could have no ambiguous answers - or could it?

Vegetable

Edible, in the normal sense?
Alive?
[Rosie] Edible? Yes
[GL] Alive? No
Processed?
Is it normally eaten raw?
Bigger than a breadboard?
A carrot?
A nut?
A bread roll?
[Dandalf] Processed? Yes
[Kim] Raw? No
[GL] >Breadboard? No
[Néa] Carrot? No
[Inkspot] Nut? No
[all] Bread Roll? A careful No - enthusiastic applause
Is bread involved in some way?
A loaf of bread?
A bagel?
[all] bread? yes - more applause
[GL] Loaf of bread? No
Breadcrumbs?
A gingerbread house?
Toast?
A slice of bread?
A Sandwich?
[Tuj] breadcrumb? No
[GL] Gingerbread house? No
[Kim] Toast? No
[all] Slice of bread? Another careful No
[GL] Sandwich? No
Audience starts to doubt that the players will pin this down with wild guesses
I have to go out in an hour or so, but should be back for 9:30pm (GMT)
Was my bagel mouldy?
What is the meaning of life?
Bread and Butter Pudding?
[Raak] Mouldy Bagel? Don't know
[all] Meaning of life? Not sure, but I know the ultimate answer.
[GL] B&B Pud? No
Is it a particular variety of bread?
Is the bread associated with a particular culture?
[Raak] Particular variety? Yes - Audience spontaneously combusts with excitement
[Inkspot] Particular culture? Yes - Audience reaches critical mass
Does this culturally significant variety of bread contain NO *animal* substances?
[Chalky] No animal substances? Hmmm...I'll have to find out...ok, there may be an animal substance, but I have found recipes that exclude it. Apologies to anyone who may have assumed there was no animal involved whatsoever.
Unleavened bread?
Bruschetta?
Pita?
Bara brith?
Ciabatta?
Naan bread?
[all] Unleavened? No
[irach] Bruschetta/pita? No
[Rosie] Bara brith? No, but I can see the logic :-)
[Chalky] Ciabatta? No
[GL] Naan bread? YES
Again, sorry about forgetting the animal content, but well done, Gusset Login!
Gosh I finally got one right.

Animal

Human?
[Kim] Yes
Living?
[Chalky] Living? No
Died in the last 100 years?
A religious figure?
[Projoy] Died since 1906? Yes
[Raak] Religious figure? No
Born in the C20th?
Female?
[Projoy] Born between 1901 and 2000? No
[CdM] Female? No
A scientific figure?
[Irouléguy] Scientific figure? No
Died before 1930?
A performer, of any kind?
[all] Dead by 1930? No
[Rosie] Performer? No
Is he to be found on imdb.com?
Politician?
[Phil] imdb.com? No
[irach] Politician? No
Writer?
European?
[Dandalf] Writer? No.
[Irouléguy] European? Yes.
A sportsman?
Artist?
Any military connections?
Royalty?
[Phil] Sportsman? No
[Dandalf] Artist? No, but he has artistic connections - Audience mummers approval
[Irouléguy] Military? No
[irach] Royal? No
Designer?
Is music a connection?
Film maker?
[Phil] Designer? Yes
[carew] Music connection? No. (But he probably listened to it and I think was mentioned in a song once)
[irach] Film maker? Still no, stop asking
In the world of fashion?
Architect?
[Raak] Fashion? No
[CdM] Architect? Yes - Applause from the audience
Le Corbusier?
[Raak] Le Corbusier? No
Sir Christopher Wren?
[Phil] Wren? No

Summary so far: Human, Male, Architect, Died between 1906 and 2006, born prior to 1901, European, not a film maker.


Correction: Died between 1930 and 2006
Died before 1960?
[Phil] Died before 1960? No
Spanish?
[Raak] Spanish? No
Mies van der Rohe?
Bauhaus school?
[Irouléguy] Mies van der Rohe? No
[Raak] Bauhaus school? Yes - Much applause
Ernst May?
Forget that (sketchy research). Was it Gropius?
[Projoy] Ernst May? No
[Projoy] Walter Gropius? YES

I'd hoped that would take longer to guess, well done Projoy

Rats - I was trying to eliminate Gropius, but mis-read the date. Congrats, Projoy.
Oh damn. Sorry, haven't looked in much today - wasn't expecting to get that one. ** sounds of thinkage **

MINERAL

Man made?
Begins with a P?
Eiffel Tower?
A mechanical device?
Fifth letter is a W?
Three words?
Valuable?
Is there only one of these?
A Bungalow?
Salt?
[GL] man-made, NO
[Tuj] "P...", NO
[irach] Eyeful Tower, NO
[Rosie] Mechanical, NO
[CdM] Fifth letter a "W", NO *titters from audience*
[Ig] Three Words, Depends how articulate you are
[Dandalf] Valuable, NO (subjectively)
[Kim] Only one of these, YES
[Botherer] Bungalow, NO
[all] Salt, NO *the gentlest murmur of interest from just a few members of the audience, as if a light breeze had blown over a doormat*
Ice?
A natural object?
[Raak] Ice, NO.
[Ink] Natural object, YES
The sea?
(more answers this evening, as I'm away from internet this arvo)
[GL] The Sea, NO *some applause*
A body of water?
Is it an ocean?
OK, now I'm *really* going until this evening.
[Ig] body of water, NO
[GL] an ocean, NO
*(but some scattered applause at ocean)*
The White Cliffs of Dover?
The English Channel?
Something on the edge of an ocean?
An island?
Sand?
Coastal wetlands?
The Gulf Stream?
[all] White cliffs, NO
[Ink] Island, NO * a little laughter *
[irach] sand, NO
[Rosie] costal wetlands, NO
[Ig] Gulf Stream, NO *two members of the audience start paying attention again*
Mariana Trench?
Something on the edge of an ocean?
[GL] edge of the ocean, NO, but
[Dandalf] Wow! Excellent bit of intuition. It was indeed the Mariana Trench.
The renewed interest when gulf stream was mentioned somehow triggerred off Mariana Trench. So Ig deserves a share of the Wow! And now for something completely different.....ANIMAL
Michael Palin?
Human?
Alive?
Male?
Mythical?
Palin - NO
Human - YES
Alive - YES
Male - YES
Mythical - NO
Involved with the arts?
European?
Born before 10th March 1976?
Welsh Rugby player?
Arts? NO
European? YES (A slight murmur from the audience)
pre 10/3/76?
Welsh Rugby player? NO
Scientist?
British?
You didn't answer GL's question, by the way. Thanks for the share of the 'wow' - nearest I've come in this game for some time.
Sportsman?
Wayne Rooney?
GL sorry Born pre 10/3/76? YES
Scientist? NO
British? YES
SPORTSMAN? NO
WR NO
Sorry about the poor formatting.
Of a non-European ethnic origin?
(for a value of "ethnic" that might extend to his great-grandparents, say)
Born before 10 March 1956?
[Projoy] non-European ethnic? YES *ripples of applause as audience sits up*
[GL] pre-10/3/56? NO
Paul Boateng?
Appears on TV regularly?
Musician?
[Raak] Boateng? NO
[Projoy] YES *round of applause from audience*
[Inkspot] Musician? NO
Lenny Henry?
[Rosie] LH? NO ripple of applause
A comedian?
Ainsley Harriet
[PJ] Comedian/ -hmmmm
[Phil] Ainsley? Ready, Steady.... YES! Well done and sorry for delay!
I wish I could explain how the name popped into my head - I think it was the "always on tv" aspect with a round of applause. OK, time to think of another.

Vegetable with some Mineral

Ripple of applause for Lenny Henry, might have done it subconsciously, as LH had the title role in CHEF.
Salted peanuts?
Wood that's beginning to petrify?
A club with a nail in it?
Veneered Chipboard?
A household artefact?
A lemon with a sub-machine gun?
Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?
A drink?
Is it edible?
Is it bigger than a box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes?
Whisky and soda?
A wet towel?
A leek?
[Raak] Peanuts? No
[irach] part-petrified wood? No
[GL] Nailed club? No
[Projoy] veneered chipboard? No
[INJ] household artefact? No
[all] armed lemon? No
[Chalky] CN Cornflakes? No
[Inkspot] A drink? No
[Irouléguy] Edible? No
[Kim] Bigger than box of cornflakes? No
- Audience feels we may be getting somewhere at last
[Raak] W&S? No
[Dandalf] Wet towel? No
[Rosie] Leek? No
- Audience loses optimism
cardboard?
Does it have anything written on it?
Bigger t han a coffee mug?
A container of some sort?
A bowl of cornflakes?
A bowl of cornflakes?
Oops sorry - doubleposted!
Is it made of wood?
Is it designed to contain something?
[Chalky] Cardboard? No
[Projoy] Text thereon? Yes
[GL] Container? No
[Dandalf] Bowl of cornflakes? Nay, and twice nay :-)
[all] Made of wood? No
- Some audience members mutter to each other
[Projoy] Designed to contain something? No
A form of some kind?
I say, Bigger than a coffee mug?
Designed to be written on?
[Raak] Apologies - Bigger than a coffee mug? No
- Audience becomes interested again
[Rosie] A form? No
[INJ] To be written on? No
Made of bamboo?
[Raak] Bamboo? No
Clarification: When I said "it has things written on it", to be utterly precise the word "printed" would be better than "written".
Is it bigger than a box of matches?
A postage stamp?
A coffee mug?
A £10 note?
[Kim] Bigger than a box of matches? In terms of volume, using a Bryant & May matchbox (37x55x17mm). No, but it's a close run thing.
- Audience finds this fascinating, but they are a little nerdy
[Chalky] Postage stamp? No
[all] Mug? No
[Chalky] £10 note? No
Long and thin?
[Projoy] Long & thin? No
Is it made of cotton?
A reel of thread?
[Chalky] Cotton? No
[Raak] Reel of thread? No
Is it made of paper?
[CHalky] Made of paper? No
Audience eagerly awaits Projoy or Kim's next question
A calling card?
A Champagne Cork?
[Inkspot] Calling card? No
[Chalky] Champagne cork? No
A beermat?
Can I confirm that it's not made from wood, cardboard, paper, cotton or cork?
Does it play a part in the preparation of food?
Is it normally hand made?
Is the vegetable part alive?
Is it flat?
[CdM] Beermat? No
[Chalky] Not wood, cardboard, paper, cotton, cork? Correct
[Kim] Food prep? No
[Inkspot] Handmade? No
[GL] Live veg? No
[CdM] Flat? No
Is the mineral part a candle?
A potato print?
[all] Candle? No
[GL] Potato print? No
Is it made from a fruit?
A tin of tobacco?
Is it made of rubber?
[Inkspot] Made of fruit? No
[Rosie] Tin o'baccy? No
[Raak] Made of rubber? YES
- Rapturous applause from audience
The wheel of a Tonka Toy?
[Projoy] Tonka wheel? Alas, no.
Unfortunately, I have to work for the next few hours, but should be able to pop back in a couple of times over the course of the evening.
Squash ball?
A packet of three?
[Dandalf] Squash Ball? YES
[Raak] 12-months supply for a married man? Unfortunately, no.
Congrats to Dandalf!
At last I can share the trivia that the volume of a squash ball is only 3% less than that of a standard box of matches, as its diameter is 40mm, giving a volume of 33510 cubic mm, compared with 34595 cubic mm.
[Phil] Thanks. I actually worked out the volume before guessing! Now I have to think of something else..... what about ABSTRACT with ANIMAL connections
A fictional character?
David Attenborough's 'Planet Earth'?
Is the animal connection human?
[Inkspot] Fictional character? NO
[Iroulegey] Planet Earth? NO
[INJ] Human? YES
A character of legend?
Is the animal connection a particular human?
Any artistic connection?
[Kim} Legend? NO
[CdM] Particular human? NO
[INJ] Artistic connection? NO
God?
Is the human connection a particular nationality?
Is it a bird?
Is it a persons title?
Forget last one, put it down to lack of tea and bicuits
Law?
Is it a collective title?
Is it a category of person?
[Phil] God? God, NO
[Irouleguy]Particular nationality? No (murmurings from the audience)
[Inkspot] bird? NO (happily munching on choc digestive while sipping a cup of Earl Grey :) )
[Raak] Law? NO
[GL]collective title? In the sense that it covers a number of items, YES
[KIM]person category? NO
A human construct?
(welcome return of an old favourite)
A golem?
[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO
[INJ] H.C.? YES ( I think!)
[all] Golem? NO
Oh No not again! sorry
Does it have something to do with nationalities?
[Raak] Nationalities? YES,partly.
Does it have something to do with a geographical region comprising several counties?
[Kim] YES, but not geographical.
- Audience suddenly wakes up and applauds loudly
A trading cartel of countries?
County Cricket?
Are we talking about counties, not countries?
Typo alert.
(Trying to summarize) Is it a name given to a group of geographically dispersed people with something in common?
[Inkspot] Trading cartel? NO
[Projoy] County cricket? NO
[Rosie] counties/countries? The one with the R.
[CdM] Such a name is one of the words on the card! Loud applause!
Refugees?
A politiocal grouping (in a wide sense - as opposed to say economic)?
Communism?
A racial grouping?
[Inkspot] Refugees? NO
[INJ] Political grouping? YES but that's not the full answer (Applause)
[GL] Communism? NO (some chuckles from audience)
[CdM] Racial grouping? NO
Is it NATO?
Was it created by a treaty?
neo-fascists?
Is it a formal organization?
[Kim] NATO? NO
[Raak] Created by Treaty? NO, but by the ~~~~~~~ Declaration
[IN]neo-fascists? NO
[CdM] Formal organisation? YES
The State/Citizens of Israel
Associated with the UN?
Balfour?
[Projoy] Israel? NO
[INJ] UN? NO
[Raak] The Balfour Declaration? YES (wild applause) but still some way to go.
The Zionist Federation?
unlikely but you never know
Hamas?
[all] Zionist Fed? NO
Hamas? NO
CLARIFICATION: I've just found out that there are two distinct Balfour declarations, one dated 1917 and the other 1926. It is to the latter that I referred in replying to Raak. Get googling!
The British Commonwealth?
[all] B. Commonwealth? YES - but still not the answer on the card.
The Commonwealth Games?
[GL] Commonwealth Games YES Well Done!
Huzzah! Thank you all for the help
I will seek inspiration from the random function of wikipedia

Animal

Human?
Human? - Yes
Alive?
Alive? - Yes
Male?
European?
Sportsman/sportswoman
SPORTSMAN
Currently in the news?
Political figure?
Male? - Yes
European? - No
Sportsman/sportswoman SPORTSMAN? - No
In the news? - Not that I've noticed
Political? - Yes
Middle Eastern?
Is he now retired from the office/position for which he is most famous?
Merkin?
Middle Eastern? - No
Retired? - Yes
American? - No
Butros Butros Ghali?
Butros*2 Ghali? - No
African?
African? - No
Chinese?
Australian?
Asian?
Chinese? - No
Australian? - Yes *Applause*
Asian? - No
John Howard?
John Howard? - No

Summary: A living male Australian politician who has retired.

Bob Hawke?
Bob Hawke? - No
Bryan Gould?
Gough Whitlam?
Must be getting on a bit.
Bryan Gould? - No
Gough Whitlam? - No - but The audience is looking interested (As they did at the mention of Bob Hawke)
Richard Alson?
sorry - make that 'ALSTON'
Richard Alston? - No
Malcolm Fraser?
Malcolm Fraser? - Yes
There weren't many more left to try! OK here goes - VEGETABLE
Living?
Edible?
Bigger than a pumpkin?
Living? YES
Edible? YES
Bigger than pumpkin? NO
Is it normally cooked before being eaten?
Oops! It seems I was wrong. Not edible! will explain error at the end.
Is it an inedible part of something that also has an edible part?
Edible+inedible? NO
Is its inedibility due to it being poisonous?
Toxic? Not particularly
Green?
Green? YES! Applause
A leaf of some kind?
Leaf? YES Renewed applause
A shamrock?
[Raak] YES! Well done. Re my error concerning edibility, I googled "shamrock recipes" and got loads of sites with "shamrock salad", "shamrock sandwiches" "shamrock pie" etc. I didn't bother to visit any but just assumed that shamrocks were edible. Later I found out these were all sham recipes [ :) ] and did not contain any shamrocks at all but were either green, cut into shamrock shapes or were green cocktails consisting mainly of Irish Whiskey and Chartreuse or lime cordial! And now over to Raak.
The next one is MINERAL
manufactured?
Metal, largely?
[CdM] Partly.
[Rosie] Yes.
Jewelry of some kind?
Bigger than a phone-box?
[CdM] No.
[Ir] No.
Contains Moving parts?
Choking hazard, not suitable for children under 42 months?
[INJ] Er...sort of.
[GL] No.
Bigger than a shoe-box?
A moving part of some kind?
Powered by electricity?
[INJ] No.
[CdM] Er...sort of. That is, part of it does move, but it's not what you would call "a moving part".
[Inkspot] No.
A Zippo lighter?
A tool?
[I] Not a Zippo lighter.
[I] Not a tool.
Bigger than a Zippo lighter?
Does the moveable part have to move for the thing to "work"?
Is the part that moves liquid?
[K] Could be bigger or smaller.
[R] Er...quite the opposite. (Laughter from the audience) But it must move for this thing to be what it is.
[INJ] (Applause!) Yes.
A spirit level?
[I] Clever, but no.
Thermometer?
[C] Ditto.
Is it a particular liquid?
[I] Usually.
A rain-gauge?
Mine needs some exercise.
[Rosie] No.
A barometer?
[Kim] No.
[Everyone] Not a tool, remember. The last few guesses were all tools.
Snowglobe?
[GL] Not a snowglobe. (The audience hibernates in underground caverns while glaciers sweep down from the poles.)
Is the liquid usually oil?
Does it have glass parts?
A lava lamp?
[I] Not usually oil.
[I] No glass.
[R] Not a lava lamp.
Is the liquid a drink?
[I] Erm....the typical liquid is water.
Does the water not move when the thing is working because it is frozen?
Is this thing basically ornamental?
[CdM] (A meteor strike melts the ice sheets and the audience wake up and re-evolve into sentient creatures again.) No.
[Rosie] Not ornamental.
Is it a container?
Kitchen sink plug?
strike thast= not usually metallic.
thast= that-
[GL] Container? Sort of.
[D] Not a plug.
Is this used on its own, or as a component of something?
[I] It's a part of something.
Is it an indicator of some kind?
[Rosie] Not an indicator.
Is this a fair summary of what we know so far?
Summary:
Mostly metal, involves water as it's only moving part.
Is not ornimental.
A container of sorts.
Is used as a component.
May be bigger or smaller than a zippo lighter.
Is not functional?(not a tool).
A washer?
A valve?
[GL] Yes, mostly. It's not a tool but does normally perform a function. And container is onyl sort of.
[all] No. (The audience evolve sentience the better to appreciate the impending conclusion of the game.)
[I] No. (Impressed by this sign of the end times, the audience build a temple to Nicholas Parsons and pray for the rapture.)
A stopcock?
[I] No.
A tap?
A cistern?
[all] Not a tap.
[Kim] Not a cistern.
(The audience can hardly move for stepping on portents of the Second Coming.)
A syringe?
[Rosie] (The heavens cloud over.) No.
Used indoors?
[Rosie] Could be indoors or outdoors.
A pipe?
[Projoy] (He is the Messiah!) Yes (but not the complete answer).
A stand-pipe?
[I] Might be a standpipe or not.
Drainpipe?
[GL] No.
How many words are on the card?
lead piping?
in the study
[I] Yes.
[all] Could be, or not.
Is it for rain water?
[I] Not for rain water.

(A ghostly hand with the word "CLUE" tattooed on it points at CdM's last question.)

a heating element?
[Chalky] Not a heating element.
An ice cube maker?
"Yes" words on the card? We need to remember this #%$*@# pipe could be smaller than a zippo lighter!
Is ice involved?
Raak is playing a straight bat, he should only give Yes or No answers. So yes there are words on the card, the question should realy have been phrased "Are there more than XXX words on the card".
Personally I'm just as far away from any notion of what the answer as I was at the start.
Does it require to be operated for it to carry out its function?
(Inkspot) Traditionally it was legitimate to ask how many words on the card, and the answer could include a helpful addition such as "including the definite article".
Does one carry this object about on one's person?
test tube
...except that that's a tool...
A frozen pipe?
I thought I'd already posted this one, but it seems to have disappeared.
[INJ] I just looked, and you didn't. (Members of the audience prophesy in tongues and cast out demons.) Very nearly!
Oops, missed out all those other qns.
[Inkspot] Not an ice cube maker.
[Inkspot] (Receives similar raptures from the audience.) Yes (usually).
[Rosie,Dandalf,Projoy] (A fiery chasm opens up under your feet.) No.
A burst pipe?
[all] The seventh seal has been opened, the City of God is built on the Earth, and the elect rejoice for ever.) Yes, a burst pipe!
At ----ing last

Mineral

Manufactured?
[Rosie] Manufactured? - No
A geographical feature?
Water, in any of its forms?
Metallic?
[Irouléguy] geographical feature? - Yes
[Rosie] Water? - No - *The Audience mutter to each other*
[irach] Metallic - No
When I say no to "Water, in any of its forms?" I mean the answer isn't water, not that water isn't involved... though it might not be.
A valley of some kind?
Most valleys round here are dry. Soon they will all be.
Is there more than one of these?
[Rosie] A valley? - Of some kind, I guess
[CdM] More than one? - No
a crater?
Is it a named geographical feature?
[Projoy] A crater? - No
[Kim] Named geographical feature? - Yes, how many unnamed ones can you think of?
Cheddar Gorge?
[Rosie] Cheddar Gorge? - No.
Is it in the northern hemisphere?
Is it in the Eastern hemisphere?
[Irouléguy] Northern Hemisphere? - Yes
[Projoy] Eastern Hemisphere? - Eastern hemisphere? What the hell is the eastern hemisphere? At a guess I'd say no.
Is it in the United States?
(all) E Hemisphere is 0° to 180° East. Where I worked you could have a foot in both.
[Rosie] USA? - Yes
The Grand Canyon?
[Rosie] The Grand Canyon? - No
In a National Park?
[unnamed geographical features] Let's start with the 5 metre wooded slope on the other side of the road from my window.
Death Valley?
[InJ] National Park? - No
[Irouléguy] Death Valley - No
Deptford Creek?
[Kim] Deptford Creek? - No.
Is it east of the Mississippi?
Does it have historical significance?
[Irouléguy] East of the Mississippi? - No
[InJ] Historical significance? - I haven't been able to find any
*Is* there any water involved?
A mountain?
[GL] Involves water? - Yes - *Audience wakes up*
[Inkspot] Mountain? - No
Is it a river?
Is it North of Nashvillle?
Is it in California?
[Kim] River? - No
[Inkspot] North of Nashvillle? - Yes
[CdM] California? - Yes
A desert?
Lake Tahoe?
Salt Flats?
[Inkspot] Dessert? - No
[Irouléguy] Lake Tahoe? - YES
[InJ] Salt Flats? - No
Much of Godfather 2 is set on the shores of Lake Tahoe, IIRC, which is what made me think of it.
Feels like ages since I've had the chair - our next is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Is the animal part human?
Is the animal part-human?
Is it a symbolic animal?
Kim] Is the animal part human? No
Kim] Is the animal part-human? No
Raak] Is it a symbolic animal? No
Is it a for legged animal?
A pig in a poke, idiomatically
Inkspot] Is it a four legged animal? Yes
irach] A pig in a poke, idiomatically? No
A Cheshire cat?
Rosie] A Cheshire cat? *murmurs of appreciation from the audience* No
The cat that walks by itself?
The white rabbit?
Projoy] The cat that walks by itself? No
all] The white rabbit? No
A cat of some sort?
Raak] A cat of some sort? No
Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself?
Is is an animal of fiction?
The laughing cow?
A part of an animal?
Rosie] Is the answer some characteristic of an animal rather than the animal itself? No
Kim] Is it an animal of fiction? No
Gusset Login] The laughing cow? No
Raak] A part of an animal? No

*the audience worries that their murmurs may have been misinterpreted*
Is it an anthropomorphism?
One Swallow?
Kim] Is it an anthropomorphism? No
Projoy] One Swallow? No
An animal found in the wild in Britain?
Dog in the manger?
irach] An animal found in the wild in Britain? *the audience prick up their ears* Part of the answer, but not the answer.
Dandalf - Dog in the manger? No
Related to a specific place?
Fox-hunting?
Raak] Related to a specific place? Not a place
Rosie - Fox-hunting? *cries of 'Tally-ho' from the audience* No
Related to a specific region?
Inkspot] Related to a specific region? Not a region
Scottish wild cat?
British Bulldog?
Dandalf] Scottish wild cat? No
Kim] British Bulldog? No

There's a clue in the phrasing of the answers to Raak and Inkspot's questions.
Related to a specific time?
The first cuckoo in Spring?
Phil] Related to a specific time? In a sense, yes, but that's not really useful Dandalf] The first cuckoo in Spring? Four legs right, two legs wrong No - see earlier answer to Inkspot
Related to a specific county?
Related to a specific country?
Related to a specific activity?
Is the animal normally considered edible?
Gusset Login] Related to a specific county? No
Gusset Login - Related to a specific country? No
Raak - Related to a specific activity? No
Rosie - Is the animal normally considered edible? *cries of "Nice one, Rosie" from the audience* Proverbially not
Fine distinctions
Perhaps that should be 'famously' rather than 'proverbially'.
The pursuit of the uneatable by the unspeakable?
*applause* Not the answer, but as a Wilde guess it's definitely on the right scent.
[showing face again after bipedal gaffe! (actually I was hopeful with that since it was so topical!)] Badger?
A crazy fox?
Dandalf] Badger? It's easy to get confused about feet - that's the advantage of the metric system *ducks* No
Projoy - A crazy fox? *applause* Some might think so...
An animal puppet?
Basil Brush?
A rabid fox?
Is "fox" one of the words on the card?
Raak] An animal puppet? No
Projoy] Basil Brush? No
Rosie] A rabid fox? No
CdM] Is "fox" one of the words on the card? *loud cheering* Yes (though strictly speaking it's 'foxes')
Any connection to Leicester?
CdM] Any connection to Leicester? By definition, yes (though that could be misunderstood).
Anything to do with a team game?
Name of a pub?
The Leicestershire Foxes?
Urban foxes?
Buy that man a drink! Yes, it's urban foxes. Over to Phil.
What, me? Wow - that felt like a bit of a lurker's victory, although I see so many semi-urban foxes on a daily basis it jumped straight into my mind. So I'll set a nice simple one for now.

ANIMAL

Basil Brush?
(it's bound to be Basil Brush sooner or later now, it's too good an idea to waste)
Human?
Alive?
[Projoy] B. Brush? Not this time
[Rosie] Human? Yes
[GL] Alive? Yes
Is it you?
[all] Me? No *applause from audience*
Is it a member of the morniverse community?
[CdM] Morniverser? No
Is it someone else called Phil?
Are they male?
Al Murray?
[Kim] Another Phil? No
[GL] Male? No
[Irouléguy] Al Murray? I like your thinking, but no
An entertainer?
A specific individual?
[Rosie] Entertainer? No
[CdM] Individual? Yes
Mrs Trellis of North Wales?
[GL] Mrs T of N. Wales? No, sadly. *audience laughs*
European?
Someone associated with the pub trade?
[Irouléguy] European? Yes
[Raak] Pub trade? No
Musician?
[Kim] Musician? Amateur
Is this female famous for being totally vacuous, ie: a model?
A politician?
Equally vacuous.
[Chalky] Famous for being vacuous? No
[Rosie] Politician? No
*Audience starts to mutter about being ignored*
The lovely Samantha?
British?
Mrs Phil?
[Irouléguy] Samantha? No
[Rosie] British? Yes
[Projoy] Mrs Phil? In a way, yes, but those are not the two words on the card. *excited applause from audience*
Yo Momma?
Your wife?
[Projoy] Presuming you're not "calling" me, then, essentially - YES, it was my mum all along.
OK. This one is MINERAL, mainly, with some VEGETABLE. In another sense, the whole thing is ABSTRACT.
Traffic?
[Rosie] Traffic, no *but applause from audience*
Gridlock?
[Dandalf] gridlock, no
Anything to do with broadcasting?
[Rosie] Broadcasting, not really, no. Not in any helpful way.
Something to do with transport?
A road?
The road to hell?
[Rosie] Transport, YES *applause*
[Ig] Road, no
[all] Road to Hell, no, and, strangely, that doesn't even lead to your getting warmer.
[All] I think it's probably wise not to get hung up on the Abstract bit, since as abstracts go, this one is pretty concrete.
A transport network?
The Motor Museum at Beaulieu?
[INJ] Transport network, no
[Chalky] Motor Museum, no
A form of transport?
[INJ] Form of transport, YES
Was going to suggest "Stairway to Heaven", but..... what about London Bus?
[Dandalf] Nope, not a London Bus
Something to do with the London Underground?
A pushbike?
[Kim] Nope, not LU
[Ig] Nope, not a pushbike
Network Rail?
[Rosie] Nope, on the wrong track there. :)
Land transport?
[Dandalf] Land transport, YES
Passenger-carrying?
(paying or otherwise)
Military vehicle?
An SUV?
An RV?
[INJ] Passenger-carrying, YES
[Kim] Military, no
[Ig] SUV, no
[all] I don't know what that is, but certainly not the words on the card.
A tram?
Paying passengers?
Taxi?
A bus company?
a car?
[Projoy] RV = Recreational Vehicle = Motor home
Not a tram, no paying passengers, not a taxi, not a bus company, but YES, it is a car.
(that's not the whole answer, obviously :) )
stretch limousine?
a Ford Prefect?
[Dandalf] No, not a stretch limo
[Ig] Not a Ford Prefect. *sustained applause*.
Morris Minor Traveller (the estate one)?
[Phil] Nope, not a Morris Minor.
A model-T Ford?
Dagenham Dustbin?
A Ford Popular?
[Ig] *scattered applause*, no
[Rosie] *laughter*, no (at least not by the definition of that phrase I just googled)
[INJ] *more laughter and some applause, no, not at all.
A currently available model?
A Ford Focus?
[INJ] Not currently available
[Ig] Ford Focus, no.
A Reliant Robin?
RR, nope.
Was it a sporty model?
UK manufactured?
[Kim] Sporty - I don't think so.
[INJ] UK manufactured, no.
An Edsel?
*rapturous applause* Congratulations. Specifically THE EDSEL ("an Edsel" wouldn't be abstract at all).
(Projoy) Being a Ford, it would be a Detroit Dustbin, then, though the phrase doesn't quite flow.
Not a de Lorean then?
OK, the next one is ANIMAL
human?
[Rosie] A Detroit Trashcan, if you want to be kolchrally krekt.
[INJ] de Lorean's were manufactured in NI, weren't they?
[PJ] human? - NO
De Lorean's were manufactured in NI, that's why I asked the UK manufactured question.
Mammal?
extinct?
One specific animal?
An anarcho-syndicalist wildebeeste?
Can it fly?
[Iroul ] Mammal - YES
[all ] extinct - Hmmm - (after some hesitation) NO
[Kim ] One specific animal? - YES
[Rosie] anarcho-syndicalist wildebeeste? - Not as such
[GL] Can it fly - YES (some laughter in the audience)
A flying fox?
[Kim] Flying Fox - NO
Can it swim (or could it?)
[PJ] could it swim - YES (I assume so)
Any mythical connection?
(Projoy) Detroit Trashcan? Nah, ain't 'llitrativ.
[Rosie] mythical connection - NO
Animal mentioned in fiction?
[irach] Animal mentioned in fiction? - Not a fictional animal (though I'm sure it has been mentioned in fiction)
Is this animal found in the wild in Europe?
Endangered species?
[Iroul] found in the wild in Europe? - NO
[Dandalf] Endangered - NO
Laika?
Is this animal alive now?
One specific, named animal?
(rather than a species, for instance)
He's done it again
[Raak] Now that's impressive. YES It is LAIKA.
Over to you.
ANIMAL CONNECTIONS
Is the animal human?
Is the animal connected to anything?
[INJ] Partly human.
[C] Is not everything connected to everything else in the great skein of being?
To put my first answer more clearly, the animal connections include human connections.
Roadkill?
[C] Not roadkill.
Is it a human construct?
I'm taking this to be ABSTRACT with ANIMAL CONNECTIONS, unless the answer is dog leads.
Metaphorical shoe-leather?
[INJ] Not a human construct, and not abstract either.
[Projoy] Not metaphorical shoe-leather.
umbilical cords?
struggling to get into this
[INJ] Not umbilical cords (those would definitely be Animal).
To make the initial words more explicit, this thing is neither Animal, nor Vegetable, nor Mineral, nor Abstract, but has Animal connections.
The particle zoo?
A toadstool?
Does it have a sensible physical manifestation?
[Projoy] Not the particle zoo, whatever that is.
[Ir] Not a toadstool.
[INJ] Yes, it has a sensible physical manifestation.
(The audience has just remembered to give an approving murmur to Irouléguy's question.)
Does it exist in the real world?
[Phil] Yes, it exists in the real world.
Are we in the world of the very small?
[Projoy] Yes. (Applause!)
A cell?
[Rosie] Not a cell.
A micro-organism, eg bacterium, virus, etc?
DNA?
E. Coli?
(smacks forehead) Not a cell. Ok, a protein base?
H5N1?
The prion that causes BSE?
[Rosie] Yes, [Chalky] No, [Projoy] No, [I] No...
[Kim] YES! "Bird flu" was on the card but H5N1 will do.
A-tishoo!
Thanks, folks. Let's kick off the week with a nice easy
ANIMAL
A dead swan with bird flu?
Frank Sinatra?
An insect?
Human?
Male?
[Raak] Dead swan? No.
[Irouleguy] Old Blue-eyes? No.
[Inkspot] Insect? No.
[Chalky] Human? Yes.
[Rosie] Male? Yes.
Alive?
A TV personality?
Alive-o?
Born before 1940?
European?
[Raak] Alive? No.
[Chalky] TV personality? No.
[Projoy] Alive-o? No-o. Not in Dublin's fair city, nor anywhere else, for that matter.
[Inkspot] Born before 1940? Yes.
[IG] European? Yes.
British?
Connected with the arts?
Did he die in the 21st century?
A scientist?
Born before 1880?
[Projoy] British? Yes.
[Raak] Connected with the arts? No.
[Chalky]Died in 21st Century? No.
[Inkspot] Scientist? No.
[GL] Born before 1880? Yes.
A titled person?
statesman?
Died in the C18th?
[Inkspot] Titled? No.
[INJ] Statesman? No.
[Projoy] Died in C18th? Yes.
Capability Brown?
Active in politics?
Sir Christopher Wren?
[IG] Capability Brown? No.
[Raak] Active in politics? No.
[Rosie] Christopher Wren? No.
A philosopher?
Is he known through his writings?
A military person?
Composer?
English? (ie not Scottish or Welsh)
[Projoy] Philosopher? No.
[Inkspot] Military person. Hmmm. On balance, I would have to say Yes. *Some members of the audience stir in their sleep*
[Irach] Composer? No.
[IG] English? Most of the audience now sit up, yawn and stretch* The generally accepted answer to this is Yes.
And my question?
Ned Ludd?
Sorry Raak!
[Raak] Your question: known through his writings? No.
[Raak] Nedd Ludd? No.
Royal?
[GL] Royal? No.
Is anything named after him?
a craftsman?
[Rosie] Anything named after him? Difficult to answer fairly without either being excessively cryptic or giving the game away, so I am going to say Yes.
[INJ] Craftsman? Many are called craftsmen with more or less justification and he might have been, but he was not a craftsman in the "skilled artisan" sense.
Did he build things?
[Raak] A builder of things? No.
*The audience feels that the earlier answers that made them sit up should be considered further".
A British artist who painted military themed paintings?
Did he march ten thousand men up and down a hill?
Is there a naval connection?
[irach] Artist? No.
[Raak] Prince Andrew? No.
[IG] Naval connection? Yes. *Some applause*
Admiral Lord Nelson?
Captain Cook?
Edward Teach (aka Blackbeard)?
Arrrr!
Congrtulations, Phil! I would have accepted either answer, but you got both. *Hands over cutlass and ceremonial eyepatch to Phil*
Why are pirates called pirates? Just because they Arrrr!
Dear God, really!? I thought I was just being obtuse, by trying to work out who could be naval, somehow of a military nature, possibly have something named after them, but not into politics etc. Then I searched for pirates that died in the 18th century, and picked the most famous one. I'm somewhat surprised to have got that right, to tell the truth.
Hmmm...another apparently simple one

Vegetable

David Beckham?
A long shot, perhaps.
Edible?
Living plant or product?
A single object?
A host of golden daffodils?
[Rosie] El Beckham? Alas, no
[Chalky] Edible? Yes
[Dandalf] Living plant or product? Yes
[INJ] Single Object? No
[Irouléguy] Host of Daffs? No
Requires cooking?
Is it typically cultivated (as opposed to being gathered)?
Consists of a single vegetable rather than a mix of >1
Is it specific to a particular country or culture?
An herb?
[Rosie] Requires cooking? No
[CdM] Typically cultivated? yes
[INJ] Single "vegetable"? Yes
[Irouléguy] Prticular country or culture? Yes
[Dandalf] An herb? Yes - [Applause from come audience members]
CORRECTION
[Irouléguy] Particular country or culture? COrrect answer is No. Don't try to read anything into my confusion, it's just me being clumsy.
watercress?
Is it green, mainly?
Banana?
(Yes it is a herb)
Does it need to be dug out of the ground?
[Chalky] watercress? No
[Rosie] Mainly green? No
[all] Banana? Not the answer on the card - [Rapturous Applause]
[Inkspot] Dug out of the ground? No
plantain?
[INJ] Plantain? No
A Bunch of bananas?
Banana pepper?
[all] YES! "A bunch of bananas" is the phrase on the card - congrats.
um... thank you
all - Time for a new item, this on is:

Animal

Is it an animal?
[Projoy] Is it an animal? As opposed to Vegetable, Mineral or Abstract? Yes
Is it AN animal?
Human?
[Rosie] Is it AN animal? - As opposed to several? Yes
[Irouléguy] Human? - Yes
Currently living?
Male?
[irach] Currently living? - Opinion is divided on this one, personally I\'d say: No
[Inkspot] Male? - Yes
Jesus Christ?
Osama Bin Laden?
Fictional?
Elvis Presley?
[Rosie] Jesus Christ? - No
[CdM] OBL? - No
[Projoy] Fictional? - No
[Néa] Elvis Presley? - No
European?
Margaret Thatcher?
Oops, male.
Ariel Sharon?
Lord Lucan?
(Raak) Right the first time.
[CdM] European? - Yes
[Raak] Margaret Thatcher? - No
[Raak] Ariel Sharron? No
[Rosie] Lord Lucan? - YES
This one is MINERAL. Nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines or trombones.
Something to do with the weather?
;-)
(Projoy) To do with the weather? - No. I forgot that one.
A barrel of crude?
Something manufactured?
Does it need electric power?
(Dandalf) - Not a barrel of crude
(Irouléguy) Manufactured? - Yes, generally. It's an artefact.
(Inkspot) Does not need electric power.
Is it associated with a particular culture?
Does it have a purpose?
Smaller than a toaster?
Are there multiple instances of it?
Do you own one?
Mostly made of metal?
(CdM) - Not associated with a particular culture.
(Projoy) - A purpose? It certainly does.
(Raak) - Can be smaller than a toaster, but certainly not necessarily.
(CdM) - There are lots of them.
(Phil) - Do I own one? No, not yet.
(Irouléguy) - Made of metal? Usually, but not necessarily.
Is it a household item?
(i.e. rather than outdoors or in a public space)
(INJ) - Indoors household item? No.
Does it contain electronics?
phone box?
Does not need electric power... Solar phonebox?
(Raak) - No electronics.
(Projoy) Not a solar phone box, but *some appreciative murmurings from the audience*.
Is it a device for converting energy from one form to another?
Something to do with gardening?
A sundial?
Well, that was quick because RAAK is the winner. Congratulations. A sundial it its. I'm making one for the wall of the back of the house. It faces south 25 degrees east so there's a nice bit of trigonometry involved.
The next object is ANIMAL and ABSTRACT.
Is the animal human?
[Rosie] Not human.
Roger Rabbit?
A single, named animal?
A character from a book?
[I] Not Roger Rabbit.
[I] Hm, yes and no. Strictly speaking, according to the words on the card, no.
[I] Hm, yes and no (see previous answer). More yes than no.
A four legged animal?
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