arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right
AVMA Take 2
help
Yes, it's another round of that classic guessing game - Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, Abstract [or any combination thereof]. This effort - '03/'04 should address any queries, but then again, may just serve to confuse and baffle which some might say is the point of the game. Patience, integrity and a decent search engine may be useful ....
arrow_circle_up
Did it exist before the year 1000 A.D.?
Was it a gateway or entrance?
[Bismarck] Not built by a religious order.
[hi again!] Did not exist before 1000 AD.
[Boolbar] Applause! It was a gateway or entrance!
triumphal arch?
[B] Not a triumphal arch.
Is the AOTC a book title?
[B] Not a book title.
Are the 5 words of the AOTC in English?
[Bismarck] The words on the card are in English. (One might quibble about foreign proper names, but I won't.)
Was this gateway/entrance at the perimeter of a city?
I hear the song of the nightingale. The sun is warm, the wind is mild, willows are green along the shore - Here no Ox can hide!
[Boolbar] (more applause!!) Yes, a gateway at the perimeter of a city.
(going back to a happy hunting ground) Is this in the Ukraine?
I seize him with a terrific struggle. His great will and power are inexhaustible. He charges to the high plateau far above the cloud-mists, Or in an impenetrable ravine he stands.
[Bismarck] Yes, it is (was) in the Ukraine!
[We're showing our age there. It's "Ukraine" these days, not "the Ukraine".]
[Raak] "The Ukraine" still exists. It's a region, whereas "Ukraine" is the country.
Do precious metals come into this?
[Raak] is so close to nirvana that it seems a shame to hinder the process. For only on super-Himalayan heights may the Answer be revealed.
[Bismarck] Strictly speaking, no precious metals are involved in the building itself, although there is a popular connection.
All quietened down a bit now - how about the golden gate of Kiev?
Mounting the Ox, slowly I return homeward. The voice of my flute intones through the evening. Measuring with hand-beats the pulsating harmony, I direct the endless rhythm. Whoever hears this melody will join me.
[Bismarck] (a round of applause!) Hm, should I award the prize? (Whispered conference with Mycroft, ending with Mycroft shaking his head.) The mineral thing is indeed the Golden Gate of Kiev (named golden only for the domes of a nearby church). But the words on the card name both this thing and an abstract thing which is not called the Golden Gate of Kiev.
Are we looking for a piece of music here?
I don't think it is anything to do with Chicken Kiev.
Astride the Ox, I reach home. I am serene. The Ox too can rest.
[Boolbar] We are indeed looking for a piece of music.
Gates, gold, Raak, Mussorgsky, all merge.
This heaven is so vast, no message can stain it.
Bismarck has it: The Great Gate of Kiev.
Winners comments
I said what? Plausible deniability, take a bow.
So let us return and mingle with this blissful world.
Right, this next one is Mineral, to keep the ball rolling, and there are three words on the card.
Is it man made?
Is it bigger than a toaster?
Is the first word "The"?
Is there only one of this?
[GL] Artificial? No.
[Kn] Bigger than small? Yes.
[Ra] Definite article? Yes.
[Bo] Unique? Yes.
A precious stone?
[Ra] Gem-quality? No.
Liquid?
Is it a mountain?
Is it a natural feature?
[GL] No.
[Bo] No.
[Ro] Yes, on balance.
A waterway?
Is it larger than Wales?
[Ra] Wet? No.
[Bo] Fwy na Cymru? Yes.
England
Oi! Mwy na Chymru, 'sgwelwch yn dda.
Is it not on the Earth?
[Ro] Anglo? No.
[Bo] Extraterrestrial? Yes.
Mars?
[Ro] Red planet? No.
The Milky Way? (Other chocolate bars are available)
Is it within our Solar System?
[Kn] No.
[Bo] No.
Is it a galaxy?
Chocolate bar theme continuing.
A nebula?
Applause and the odd Janx spirit all around
[Bo] Yes!
Hidden textThey should have praline centres, all that black hole-at-the-centre theory is due for revision

[Ra] No.
The Magellanic Clouds?
[Ro] Star cluster? No.
The Andromeda Galaxy?
Take a bow, Boolbar!
The winning move and within twenty questions, a fine effort. Take this complimentary Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster and proceed to the winner's enclosure.
Recovers from hard hitting but lemony hangover
Wow! Winning this is out of this world! And thanks for the bow, I'll pop it in my hair. Um, the next one is
ABSTRACT & ANIMAL
Aslan?
A painting?
Animal part fearsome?
[Raak] No wardrobe based lion.
[Bismark] No framed masterpiece.
[Rosie] To some I'm sure. Frightening. Audience nodding
is the animal one that might be found in the wild?
Is the animal a snake?
[Bismarck] You wouldn't really say that about this animal, so let's go for no.
[Rosie] No.
Thinking about it, the AOTC is abstract involving an abstract animal, so my answer to Rosie's "fearsome" question is more to do with the abstract animal and not the isolated animal alone. Sorry for any confusion caused. I'm more awake today. As you were.
Is the animal extinct?
[Bismarck] Definitely not!
A sacred cow?
Is the AOTC an idiomatic phrase?
[Software] No.
[Rosie] No.
A mythological creature?
An heraldic animal?
Wonders when someone will ask the usual "animal" question.
[Raak] The AOTC is not a mythological creature, but the animal part does appear in myths.
[Superman] I can find examples of the animal part in heraldic crests, but is not usually thought of as such.
A snake in the grass?
[Raak] Alas no.
Cheshire cat?
[Bismarck] No grins for you either.
A quadruped?
Is the abstract bit a literary reference?
[Superman] No.
[Bismarck] Yes!   Audience wake up and applaud.
Is the animal a human?
[Gusset Login] Yes!
So we are looking for somebody in a book... Is the perspn one of those Hero With a Thousand Faces types?.
The man with no name?
[Bismarck] Not one of those types.
[Gusset Login] Not without a name.
An historical (real) personage?
Is the personage male?
[Superman & Bismarck] Can you share this "No" between you? I'm running out of them. Neither real or male.
Is she a religious figure?
Does she have a statue in Denmark?
Liberty?
Britannia?
[All] No! Although I can't guarantee that there is not a statue somewhere in Denmark made by a bored sculptor and placed in their garden :)
Associated with a particular country?
[Raak] Yes!
Is that country in Europe?
[Superman] Yes!
British Isles?
Bernadette Soubirous?
[Bismarck] Yes!
[Raak] Not her.
Boudicca?
The Old Lady of Threadneedle Street?
[Raak] Not her either.
[Gusset Login] I like the way you think, but no.
 
The basics so far... Animal=Human (humans are found in myths, not extinct, etc.) Human=female with a name, not a religious figure. Overall a literary reference and connected with the British Isles.
Alice in Wonderland?
[Superman] Not her. Even through the looking glass.
Does this character have a pib named after her?
-pib+pub..
[Superman] Not that I know of (pibs or pubs). Without a list of all pub names worldwide it is hard to be certain. But a google search shows nothing, although I did find a pub in the UK with a very connected name.
From Arthurian legends?
Does the good lassie turn up in a play?
[Raak] No.
[Bismarck] If she does (and she has) it is not the original source, so don't be distracted by that.
Maid Marian?
[Raak] No.
Was the literary reference made after 1900?
[Bismarck] Not that recent, no.
Royalty?
[Raak] No.
Involved with the occult?
Scottish?
[Bismarck] No.
[Raak] Smattering of audience going 'oooh'   There is an aspect of the AOTC that would come under the broad sweep of the occult. However the fictional female in the AOTC was not involved with the occult.
Mother Shipton?
Though I have admit she might have been real.
[Superman] Not her.
Originating after 1600?
[Raak] It is my great pleasure to say "yes".
Shakespeare's Dark lady?
[Raak] Nor her.
 
Just to clarify and hint : when I said earlier "...but the animal part does appear in myths." I was referring to humans in general for the animal part (as people were trying to identify the animal at that point), not this particular literary fictional human female character.
One of the royalty?
The White Lady?
Would it help to define the geographical appurtenance of said female more closely?
[Superman] No to Royalty and not The White Lady but the latter gets the audience murmuring.
[Bismarck] I suspect it would help.
I'm game... Welsh lady?
[Bismarck] Best hide from those people with shotguns then... As for Wales, no.
it's the leg i was referring to, thanks for the sympathy. Ireland?
[Bismarck] Nor Ireland. That should narrow it down a bit :)
Wilkie Collins' Woman in White?
(arriving late here, I am just reacting to the recent murmur from the audience)
[gil] Nice try, but no.   Audience are looking more expectant now.
Irene Adler?
[Raak] To Sherlock Holmes she may be always the woman. But not this time.
Lack of inspiration leaves brute force... North of Manchester?
[Bismarck] Yes!
19th century?
[Raak] Yes! Yes!
from Dickens?
from the Bront?s?
Try ë for ë
[Raak] Not the Dickens.
[Superman] Shouting over the audience cheering   Yes! From the Brontës!
Oh great, never read any of them. Wikipedia suggests Jane Eyre as a possibility, is that it?
[Superman & Wikipedia] Not that possibility.
Bront?s, Brontë, Bront. Testing. Still no idea, though.
Is the AOTC a personage in 'Jane Eyre'?
[Superman] Not that book no.
Start to overheat with anticipation : someone opens a window.
Oh, go on then: Agnes Grey?
[Superman] Not her, or any other shade of grey.
Lucy Snowe?
C'mon Boolbar, we all want to know if gil has it!
[Superman] Busy weekend and...
[gil] No. [hint : wrong Brontë]
Nelly Dean?
[Superman] No but... Some audience applause and whooping
Isabella Linton?
[Superman] No. Still the wrong character. The audience fall silent. Only the sound of a branch tapping on the window can be heard.
 
Note that the AOTC does have an extra part than just the character's name : see murmur above.
Is there nobody out there that has ever read this stuff and can put us put of our misery?
Nobody wants to take the baton at this time of year. :)
I give up
Not a ghost of a chance of anyone getting this? While I wait I shall listen to some music.
Did I really start this game 14 years ago? (see wordy intro above)
To narrow down to 1, hopefully: is she already dead at the beginning of the novel?
It's one of 2 I had suspected... but I've had a go relatively recently
[Knobbly] At the beginning of the novel she is dead.
[Knobbly] Don't apologise, it's been me and Boolbar in here for the last how long, and Stockholm syndrome was beginning to set in.
Catherine Earnshaw?
Audience goes wild with excitement
[Knobbly] That'll do as I'm sure you muttered "The ghost of" just beforehand.  Plus I need a rest.  Have this baton made from a fir bough which oddly feels like a ice-cold hand...
Where did my post go?
Did I forget to click Stand again?
Anyway, as everyone drifts back from extended New Year breaks, this one is ANIMAL.
The dog ate it.
Is it a human?
Is it Arthur Pendragon?
Made of meat?
`
[Boolbar] Not human
[GL] Not -King Arthur
[Tuj] I'll say yes, but only on the basis that all animals are made of meat, so that's not particularly helpful.
Mammal?
Fictional?
A bird?
More than four legs?
[Gil] YES, mammalian ([Boolbar] and therefore not a bird)
[Rosie] Not fictional
[Bismark] No more than 4 legs.
A specific human?
A lolcat?
Larger than a 2 slice toaster?
Extinct?
[Raak] No specific human
[Bismarck] No can has cheezburger
[Chalky] YES bigger than a small toaster
[Superman] The species is not extinct.
bigger than a goat?
[gil] No bigger than a goat
Is it a member of the subfamily Caprinae?
A pet?
[Boolbar] Not Caprinae
[Rosie] YES, a pet.
Sounds doggish
Carnivorous?
Is it a Thing That Should Not Be?
[gil & Bismarck] YES, extremely doggish and indeed carnivorous
[Raak] I had to Popular Search Engine it, but no.
Irish Wolfhound?
[Superman] Not an Irish Wolfhound.
Winner of Best In Show at Crufts 2016?
Is it a specific dog?
[Chalky] Not BIS
[Boolbar] YES a specific dog.
Lassie?
[Bismarck] What's that, Lassie? No, not you.
Is this specific dog still alive?
Laika?
[Boolbar] Not still alive
[Raak] Not Laika.
Greyfriars Bobby?
Recap
So we are looking for a dead pet dog Knobbly once knew. Hmmmm.
[CdM] Not Greyfriars Bobby
[Bismarck] Choosing to interpret that as a question: No, I didn't know the dog personally.
Did or does the dog advertise something?
Did the dog appear on children's TV?
[Boolbar] YES, it is an advertising dog *Audience wakes up and begins to murmur excitedly*
[Raak] Not children's telly, no.
... the Andrex puppy?
The Dulux Old English Sheepdog?
[S & B] Neither of them.
Used in a logo?
[Boolbar] Logo, YES. *Murmuring increases - they were worried you'd been misled by the yes to adverts*
The HMV/RCA dog?
Jumping on the bandwagon
[Software] YES - The AOTC was actually its name (for an extra point?), but I'm minded to give you that.
Listen to this recording of me telling you you've won...
And the winner of the invisible AVMA game is... Can't read it, it's faded.
It is undoubtedly that much commented storm. His cable out to the islands has probably been cut and he is working feverishly to recover from the outage. With a wee bit of luck Stevie et al will sort out a piece of code and float it over in a bottle in order to help us all out. Of course that code will, of necessity, be in plain French.
Anyone going to be bold enough to start another?
Right, then. This is quite straightforward.

It's MINERAL. and nothing whatsoever to do with steam engines.

Is this an element in the periodic table?
Is it an individual object?
Is it a human-made object?
Is it a rock?
Is it a plane?
(Bismarck) One of the elemnts? NO. *some muted giggles from the audience*
(Raak) An individual object? YES
(Boolbar) Human made? YES.
(Gusset Login) A rock? NO.
(Tuj) Aircraft, geometrical concept or carpentry tool? NONE of the above.
Was it human-made over 200 years ago?
Is it in the UK?
Is it a work of art?
Is it a monument?
Possibly misleading
It is an object but there are many of them. Loads of 'em, in fact.

If the questions had been phrased "Are they.....?" the answers would have been:
(Boolbar) YES, probably
(Superman) They're probably found in almost every country.
(Raak) Not a work of art.
(Bismarck) Not a monument.

[Rosie] It's an individual object, but they're found all over the place?
(Raak) It's an object, a thing, a whatsit, an oojamaflip. Individual in the sense of being different from other things. Not individual in the sense you meant though I suppose you could have a monogrammed one. Mea culpa.
A milestone?
A tool?
(Bismarck) A milestone? NO
(Raak) A tool? NO.
Are these items usually made of metal?
Is it mobile?
(Boolbar) Metallic? YES, but they don't have to be.
(Superman) Mobile? NO.
Can a person lift one of these?
(Raak) Can it be lifted? YES, very easily.
A marble?
(Raak) NO, not that easily.
A weapon of some sort?
An anchor?
(Boolbar) NO, not a weapon.
(Bismarck) An anchor? NO. Not terribly liftable.
Is this a household object?
Is this usually attached to, or part of, a building?
(Bismarck) Household object? YES
(Boolbar) Part of a building or attached thereto? YES.
A spoon?
A brick?
(Softers) NOT a spoon.
(Superman) NOT a brick.
A piece of door furniture?
Is it as big as a toaster?
(Raak) YES, though it stretches the imagination to call it furniture.
(Bismarck) Toaster-sized? NO.
Footrest?
Knockers!
(Software) Footrest? NO.
(Superman) Knockers? Where? Show me! NOT a percussive call-attention device..
A door-hinge?
(Raak) NOT a door-hinge but there is some association with the AOTC.
A jamb?
A door lock?
Knockers?
(Raak) Not a jamb.
(Bismarck) Not a door lock.
(Software) Knockers have been done, if you'll pardon the phrase. See Bismarck penult.
A gentle nudge: Not every house has one of these.
A cat flap?
A tradesmen's entrance?
Is this visible when the door is closed?
Letterbox?
(Raak,Boolbar, Software) None of those things but Superman has it. It's a cat-flap.

Over to you, Superman.

So this is a cat-flap?
Just let me sit here and meow plaintively for the next hour...
Ok, this one is ANIMAL. Let's hear your suggestions.
Is it human?
Is it food (for humans)?
We are off to a flyer!
[Boolbar] YES.
[Rosie] NO. Definitely not available for cannibalism.
A particular person?
Still alive?
First fence... going strong
[Software] YES, a particûlar character.
[Boolbar] Good question - the character is fictional, and as such never was alive, but nor has any death ever been mentioned.
A detective?
Was this fictional person created before the year 1900?
Second fence... jockeying for position
[Raak] NO, not their style.
[Boolbar] NO, more recent.
Female?
Early showing
[Raak] NO, definitely male.
A character created for a television show?
Does the character appear in only one work?
Tarzan?
Originally in a written work?
Third fence, a faller, leaders bunching
[Boolbar] NO, not for TV.
[Bismarck] NO, not an isolated incident.
[Software] NO-OOOO OOOO OOOO (sorry)
[Raak] YES, originally published on paper.
The principal character of the fiction?
Is this work the character appears in, a comic strip or graphic novel?
Fourth fence causes no problems to the leaders
[Raak] YES, this is the central character.
[Boolbar] YES, the character does appear in a comic strip or graphic novel.
A superhero?
Does the character appear in Viz?
At the fifth, over to Michael O'Hare
[Raak] Hero yes, superhero... On balance, NO. [Rosie] NO, not Viz.
Was a film made of this character?
A character from the Eagle comics?
That's going back a bit.
Loose horse, the field is split as they come to the sixth
[Bismarck] YES, a film was made with this character.
[Boolbar] NO, not from ye "Eagle".
Cow pie
Desperate Dan?
Did the character appear in a DC Comics publication?
Is the character a Marvel Comics creation?
At the sixth, a refusal, difficult landings but the race goes on
[Rosie] NO, not Dan.
[Bismarck] NO, not DC.
[Boolbar] NO, Marvel not.
Created by Neil Gaiman?
Dennis the Menace?
Did this character appear in a DC Thomson comic?
A character from 2000AD?
The water jump slows a few, but who is this coming up on the outside?
[Boolbar] NO, but good inspiration.
[Software] NO, though the character is certainly menacing.
[Bismarck] NO, no Beano, Dandy, Bunty etc.
[Raak] YES - Zarjaz! Won't be long now.
King Kong?
Judge Dredd?
Johnny Alpha?
Neck-and-neck finish!
[Software] NO, not the monkey.
[Gusset Login] NO, but it could have been the Dog.
[Raak] YES, it's everyone's favourite bobby on the beat in Mega-City One.

So Raak, you are the law! Please enter the winner's enclosure where Tharg will give you the keys to an enormous motorcycle: The rest of you into the weighing room where the Judges will execute a summary verdict.
The next is ANIMAL.
Does it begin with P?
[Tuj] Does not begin with P.
Is it human?
Is it fictional?
[S] Um... it is human, but not a human.
[B] Not fictional.
A nationality?
Not a nationality.
A profession?
A Band?
[B] Not a profession.
[GL] Not a band.
Does this human collective still exist today?
[B] (Q1) Not a human collective. (Q2) Exists today.
Unique?
[Tuj] Unique.
Is it a part of a human?
[B] Yes, a part of a human.
Is it a visible part of said human?
[B] It is visible (and not just to those who happen to know them rather well).
Is it still attached to the rest of the human?
[B] Still attached.
What Rak said.
Is it a sense organ?
Who nose?
Is it a hand?
Skin?
[R] Not a sense organ.
[B1] Not a hand.
[B2] Not skin.
Is it the hair on the head?
[B] applause It is the hair on the head.
A quiff?
[S] applause!! Having done a google search to determine what is and is not a quiff, I believe that this is not, strictly speaking, a quiff.
A duck's-arse haircut
Very fashionable when ah were a lad.
An Afro?
[R] Not, er, one of those.
[B] Not an afro.
Is it an individual person's hair?
[B] It is an individual person's hair.
This must be the hair of the Deal Leader whose initials are DT (and I don't mean Donald Tusk)
setting myself up for a big fall here :)
It is indeed Donald Trump's hair, and I have a really great baton for you, because our batons are the greatest in the world.
What a great baton I have got. Carefully ignoring all the previous administration may have done, I and only I have the answer you are all looking for. This will be done speedily, and is Vegetable.
Is it a tree or part of a tree?
Is it unique?
Commonly part of the human diet?
This is a great start, I am expecting to be able to choose my staff from among you boys and lady. Thanks for the questions, which are aligned to our solution and to which the following statement from Kellyanne, you know the one, will suffice:
[Boolbar] Yes, great question
[Tuj] Yes, of course, I don't do ordinary
[Rosie] Not unless you're North Korean, and my solution delegated to our great ambassador Mr McDonald will soon sort that out.
Is it a work of art?
Is it alive?
Is it a piece of furniture?
Amidst all the mess left by the previous incumbent and with no help at all from China during the eight days of our presidency, we are pursuing our way for greatness to become yours. Good thing! and in reply to these beauties, let me just say this:
[Raak] Bigly, no, and certainly not to my taste. Some more paint and gilt might rescue it. Sure, I could sell it to the Mexicans.
[Bismarck] I can deny that. Only Democrats could imagine it alive, though there is a resemblance in its aliveness to certain politicos I could mention. Wait for the revelations.
[Boolbar] Well, listen, I'm not biased, it's standing against a wall and I can put things on it, just like the Sec of State. But it doesn't speak or fall over, so it's either furniture or in line for a promotion.
A type of table?
Wait a moment while I hang up on some lady who thinks she's important. Ok. Yes, it is one of greatest types of table.
The desk in the Oval Office?
Delay caused by having to go out for a Chinese. The staff are whooping an' hollerin', that's not a bad guess, they think. So yes it has been but we need more clarification.
Presumably a specific OO desk? The "Resolute" desk?
King Arthur's Round Table?
Night, night.
Well now, that's mighty close. Not the Round Table, that's plain wrong. I sign all my presidential stuff on that Resolute desk, 'cos "resolute" is my middle name, like "you're fired." But while the staff are applauding you, Jared tells me you'll need the name of the desk given by a real industry dealer, not made out of some Limey boat.
The C&O desk?
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
And the winner is...
I've just opened this envelope that Jared gave me and the winner is Emma Stone. A great, great lady, even if she doesn't support the NRA. Oh but wait, Pence us telling me that's his error, the prize of this baton round goes to Bismarck. Good military name, that. Now I have to deal with some bad, bad guys over a major, major issue, so bye, bye.
Oh, cheers, and by the way it looks like your communications are tapped, there's an echo.
Here's one for the weekend: ABSTRACT, for a change.
An emotion?
Anything to do with politics?
[Gil] NO, not an emotion.
[Rosie] Whilst fairly universal, this should be associated less with politics than many other occupations.
A quality not associated with politics? Veracity?
[gil] NO, not truthfulness.
Is it a quality that is normally regarded as good?
Is self respect closely related to the AOTC?
[Dujon] NO.
Politics really isn't the way to go.
[Rosie] Neither good nor bad, but neutral.
Anything to do with numbers?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] YES, numbers are very frequently associated with the Answer.
[Tuj] NO, though a closely allied concept does. Maybe we can do it next time.
Solidity?
Is it a human invention?
[Sup] NO, not solidity. [Tuj] NO, not a human invention.
Is it a physical constant?
Gravity?
[Bo] There are several physical constants and at least one law that describe the AOTC, or attempt to fudge it, but no self-respecting physicist would admit that that AOTC as stated comes into it. They might use Tuj's P-word, though.
[Ro] NO, not gravity.
Chemistry?
The vagaries of the weather?
[Super] NO, not chemistry
[Rosie] Applause breaks out but dies away. NO, not the weather.
Murphy's law?
Is it... spooky?
Is it... sleazy?
[Superman] Scattered applause... M's law is often invoked, but on reflection it indicates the opposite of the AOTC.
[The Mighty Tuj] NO, unless you consider Forteana spooky
[Boolbar of Asgard] NO, even if you're lucky.
BTW it's none of the other five dwarves either.
The movements of the planets?
Something to do with quantum mechanics?
[Rosie] NO.
[Boolbar] YES, though more common as the P-word.
The structure of the atom?
Chaos theory?
[Ro] NO. Hint - more general concept than physics.
[Ra] NO, although the AOTC plays a role in it as well as in the film.
Is the P-word physics?
Philosophy?
[Dujon] NO. [Rosie] NO.
Probability?
[Boolbar the Not Improbable] Yay, that's the P-word, of which the AOTC is a synonym.
Statistics?
[Raak] NO, not stats.
Chance?
The winner of the lottery is...
ROSIE, it's your lucky day, you have selected the six winning letters in the correct order! Come down into the arena and take this baton, as well as your cheque for sixpence, redeemable at any branch of the Midland bank.
There with the C-word, as usual.

Now this one is

MINERAL and VEGETABLE and nothing whatsoever to do with steam locomotives.

Is it pea gravel?
Salted licorice?
A building?
Kew Gardens?
A grandfather clock?
NO, five times NO. Gusset Login is closest but still a long way off.
Is it something made by a human?
Stonehenge?
Does it still exist?
(Boolbar) Human-made? YES
(Software) Stonehenge? *Brief audience excitement*. NO
(Superman) Still in existence? YES, just about.
Was it deliberately made (rather than being the side-effect of having humans around)?
(Bismarck) Deliberately made? YES.
Is there only one?
Woodhenge?
Is it a path?
(Boolbar) YES, there is only one.
(Softers) NO, not Woodhenge.
(Superman) A path? NO, but some will regard it as such.
Is it in Europe?
The continent, obvs.
Did it have a defensive purpose?
Did it exist before 1 AD?
(Tuj) In Europe? YES
(Superman) Defensive purposes? YES, very largely.
(Bismarck) Before 1 AD? NO.
The Berlin Wall?
Is it in Wales?
Was it built by a bloke called Offa?
(Raak) Not the Berlin Wall.
(Boolbar) YES, most of it.
(Superman) Obviously not; he was a king FFS. For some reason or other his name is always associated with it.
I think we can say Superman has won, so well done you, aye. Take this baton, run with it and try not to fall into a ditch or make jokes about lesbians.
We go again. Here we go again...
Thank you, dear. Llwbr coeheddus and all that.

Without further ado, let me announce an
ANIMAL subject on the card. Listen carefully as the mystery voice reads out the clue.

Is it me?
Is it a human?
And as the game kicks off...
[Tuj] I honestly don't know. Let's get to the answer and find out, shall we?
[Boolbar] YES, and also NO.
A person also in fiction?
[Software] NO, not fictional.
*trying to think of something that both is, and is not, human* Is this a class of people?
Is it alive?
Is it a trade or profession?
Play is defensive...
[Bismarck] A clarification is needed. *clears throat*
Mystery Voice:The Yes was for "human", the No was for "a".
[Tuj] YES.
[Boolbar] NO, although one comes into it.
The human genome?
Yer, roight, but is it a class of people?
Anything to do with elections?
A foray tries to break the defensive line...
[Raak] NO, genetics doesn't come into it.
[Bismarck] YES. This will come back and bite me.
[Boolbar] NO, thank goodness, there has to be some respite somewhere.
Is it everyone who is going to win this game in the future?
[Boolbar] NO. Though I wish I had thought of it.
Are they found (or associated with) a single country?
Something to do with their names?
A physical characteristic?
Still early doors, tackles and possession going backwards and forwards
[Tuj] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Rosie] NO.
All good questions, though.
Do these people have a common interest? (e.g vole-polishing, trainspotting etc)
Politicians?
Have they all won or been awarded something?
Crossing the half-way line
[Rosie] YES, on the grounds they must have or they wouldn't be doing what they're doing.
[gil] NO. At least that was an easy one.
[Boolbar] NO, not yet, although traditionally being there involves winning something.
Anything to do with sport?
Rosie spots an opening and is off like a hare
[Rosie] *stands erupt in applause* YES.
Are these people spectators?
Drinks break
[Raak] No, this is happening on the pitch.
Does the AOTC mention a specific sport?
Is this a football team?
Something to do with cricket?
Play slows as referee's guide dog takes a leak
[Rosie] NO. Which surprised me when I looked it up.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Anyone for Tennis?
An aquatic sport?
An umpire?
NO to all of you.
A team?
A groundsman?
Stepovers and missed passes...
[Raak] "YES!!" shout the assembled multitudes.
[Rosie] NO, despite the valiant work of that undervalued person.
Are the team sitting down while competing?
An indoor sport?
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
The line-breaking attack fizzles out...
[Boolbar] NO, definitely not.
[Rosie] NO, this goes on out in the elements.
A sport using a ball (or balls)?
Does this sport take place with large numbers of spectators?
They build patiently...
[Boolbar] YES, this is a ball game.
[Rosie] YES, it's quite popular.
Is rugby the name of the game?
Boolbar rises above the fray to claim the throw
[Boolbar] YES! A chorus of a rugby song breaks out.
So, it's a team, and it's rugby, could it be a rugby team?
Swing low, sweet chariot
[Raak] YES.
A specific rugby team?
Coming for to carry me home
[Raak]'Ot, innit... Since you didn't win the contest outright for saying "rugby team", it is logical that we are looking for a specific rugby team. Orrigh'?
The British Lions?
Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi...
[Rosie] The massed ranks break into male-voiced harmony. NO, but only because that's not their full name, which will spell trouble in the green community of it ever gets out. However, it's closer than I came to winning last time out, so you'd better catch this pass from the bottom of the ruck and power onwards, leaving kiwis scattered in your wake like Barry John reincarnated. The British and Irish Lions it is.
Gwyddwn i ddim dy fod Cymro.
Actually I find Rugby absurd and incomprehensible but we had to play it in school.
Never mind all that, the next one is

ANIMAL
Rats?
Shouldn't that be Prats?
(Tuj, Dujon) Not the intention of the AOTC, but could be.
A beast of myth and fable?
Human?
(Bismarck) Mythical beast? NO.
(Boolbar) Human? Yes.
Does politics come into this?
Alive?
One human?
(Superman) NO politics in this.
(Tuj) Alive? YES.
(Boolbar) One human? Could be, but rather unlikely.
Has this anything to do with a game?
(Bismarck) - NO, nothing to do with a game.
Anything to do with railways?
A family?
(Boolbar) Surprisingly, NO
(Superman) A distinct possibility, but not a requirement. *some audience animation*
Something to do with food?
The staff in a business?
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with food.
(Superman) NO, not the staff in a business.
Does this group of people share a common goal?
Does this group of people share a common country?
(Bismarck) YES, but a rather undefinable one.
(Boolbar) Share a common country? YES.
Has this group of people been around for a long time?
A group of musicians?
From the answer to Bismark's question
The Tory Party?
(Bismarck) In some form or other, YES
(Boolbar) Musos? Essentially NO, though the AOTC does not exclude the possibility.
(Software) The Tories? NO.
Is this a mixed group, or unisex?
(Bismarck) Could be unisex, but unlikely.
Does this group gather in one place from time to time?
(Boolbar) A very strange way to describe it but strictly speaking YES.
The Mafia?
Is the common country the UK?
(Superman) The Mafia? NO
(Bismarck)UK? Need not be but all members of the group have a common country.
This sounds so much like the entrants for the Eurovision or the ruling party in a country or the footie team that it's annoying me that that has all been ruled out. It seems that a national interest group with no link to politics, sport or music is required. Even family connections are tenuous. The heads of the Commonwealth?
(Superman) NOT those worthies. Try not to explode. The AOTC is an instantly recognisable entity but has few if any definite characteristics except one which is of course the AOTC itself.
Do these people observe something?
(Boolbar) Observers? NO.
Mornington Crescenters?
(gil) NO, not us lot
An orchestra?
(Bismarck) An orchestra? NO
Has this anything to do with an astronomical event?
Could this be the Merthyr Tydfil travelling supporter/s?
Shareholders at an AGM?
(Boolbar) Anything to do with an astronomical event? NO, not a thing.
(Superman) NOT those intrepid worthies, nor those of Cefn Druids, Stenhousemuir or Warlingham and Whyteleafe Rovers.
(Bismarcke) Shareholders at an AGM? NO.
Do the people in this group change from day to day?
(Boolbar) NO, not from day to day.
Does alcohol come into this at all?
Shopping?
Can you become a member of this group by being born?
(Superman) Booze? - NO
(Bismark) Shopping? - NO.
(Boolbar) A member of the group simply by being born? YES. *audience senses some insight into this utterly banal subject*
Queuing?
(Bismarcke) NO, not queueing.
The population of planet Earth?
(Raak) NO, not that extensive.
Something to do with royalty?
(Boolbar) Royalty? Could be theoretically, but extremely unlikely.
All people who share your birthday?
(Superman) Wot? Peter Cook, Jonafan Woss? NO, but you're moving towards the essential banality of the AOTC.
Hidden text17/11/42 if you must know :-)
Could this be found in Pittsburgh, PA, USA?
(drquuxum) In Pittsburg, Pa., USA? YES, it certainly could.
Er, Pittsburgh, that is.
Perhaps we're nearly there, but here's a recap:
The AOTC is a group of living humans (less than the population of Earth; could be just the one person but not likely, and could be unisex but not likely) who have been around a long time in some form or other; who share a common country (which could be the UK but not necessarily; they could be found in Pittsburgh, PA); who could be a family but not necessarily so; who share a common goal but a rather undefinable one, and could be said to gather in one place from time to time (but this would be a very strange way to describe it). You could become a member of this group just by being born.
The people in this group do not change from day to day, and they are not mythical, the staff of a business, a group of musicians (though this isn't excluded by the answer), the Tories, the Mafia, the heads of the Commonwealth, people who observe something, MCers, an orchestra, travelling football supporters, shareholders at an AGM or people who share a birthday, and are not connected with politics, a game, railways, food, an astronomical event, booze, shopping, queueing or royalty (well, could be, but extremely unlikely), and who are not intended to be rats or prats but could be.
Do the people in this group share a notable physical or medical trait?
(Tuj) NO - no typical physical or medical trait.
Does age come into it?
Does everyone belong to such a group?
Are hospitals involved in any way?
[Rosie] Your spelling of "Pittsburg" was canon from 1891-1911.
(Bismarck) Age? NO, not relevant.
(Boolbar) Not everyone but in a lot of countries nearly everyone. So in essence YES.
(drquuxum) NO, no hospitals involved. The pronunciation fits the old spelling, yes? In England with the new spelling it would be Pittsbra, approximately.
Is it something to do with where you are born?
Is a monetary exchange generally involved?
(Boolbar) Where you were born? NO
(drquuxum) Money? NO, not involved.
Religion?
(gil) NO, religion is not relevant.
Do addresses come into this?
(Boolbar) Addresses? In one way, YES, certainly. In a more general way, NO, not really.
People applying for a passport?
(Superman) NO, not that.
The residents of a named location?
(Boolbar)YES, literally so but not the AOTC.
The general population?
(Softers) NO, more specific than that.
Those on the voter rolls?
(Superman) NO, not the electoral register.
Anything to do with education?
(drquuxum) Hedgumacation? Nope.
That part of the population living in cities?
(Superman) City dwellers? NO.
The AOTC involves the location of people with respect to other people.
Do these people share their names with a television programme?
(dr Q) A TV programme? YES. *prolonged applause from audience, previously somnolent, not to say comatose*
Neighbours.
I eschewed the American spelling just for this.
(Dr Q) A noble act and a winning one. The actual AOTC is "next-door neighbours" but this is near enough if we're not to be here until the sun goes supergiant. I declare drquuxum the winner.
Thank you, Rosie. It's good to be back. Your next clue is…
ABSTRACT
Is this something that would exist without humans?
[Boolbar] NO.
An association of individuals with a common purpose?
[Rosie] NO.
Something to do with language or writing?
To do with art?
Can I perceive this through senses other than sight?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Bismarck] YES.
Anything to do with music?
[Rosie] NO. (or at best tangentially)
Anything to do with food or drink?
To do with philosophy?
Does it begin with P?
[Boolbar] NO. [Raak] NO. [Tuj] NO, and that's a little cheaty IMO ;-)
An aesthetic quality, e.g. beauty?
[Rosie] NO.
To do with mathematics?
[Raak] *thinks long and hard, trying to figure out how to answer this, and a sheepish reply emanates* YES?
A logical construct?
[Bismarck] Please define further?
Boolean logic?
Associated with a particular group of people?
[drq] =P
Something to do with sleep?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] NO. ;-D [Boolbar] NO.
Do maps come into it?
[Superman] NO.
Does set theory come into this?
[Boolbar] NO.
A symbol?
Would this have been known to humans over 100 years ago?
[Bismarck] YES. [Boolbar] YES.
A weather forecast?
[Rosie] NO.
A mathematical symbol?
Is this named after some person or people?
[Bismarck] NO. [Tuj] YES. *smattering of applause*
A unit?
A theorem?
[Bismarck] NO. [Rosie] YES. *full audience applause*
That of Pythagoras?
[Software] NO. (Note: I changed around the order of Bismarck's and Rosie's posts for dramatic effect)
Electrical?
All units are named after someone with the exception of a Wales, an Olympic swimming pool and a London bus. This will be a long haul.
Tesla?
[Rosie] YES. [Bismarck] NO.
A three-letter word?
Does it contain a non-ASCII character?
[Rosie] SOMETIMES. [Raak] NO.
An Amp(ère)?
A British Thermal Unit should be good enough for anyone, what?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
*rupturous applesauce* YES, it was the Ampere, the SI unit of electrical current.
Ohm eye Gawd, I've won. What now?

Well, it's ANIMAL

Human?
Or are we dancer?
Primarily an aquatic being?
Female?
(Boolbar) Human? YES
(drquuxum) Aquatic? The mind boggles. NO.
(Bismarck) Female? YES
Charlotte Green?
It's been a while, but I still remember some of your proclivities, Rosie ;-)
Still alive?
Just the one person?
(Dr Q) The mellifluous Ms Green? Alas NO. Did you know she now reads the football results on Five Live? Such a relief from the routine snarly sports types.
(Boolbar) Alive? YES.
(Tuj) Just the one person? YES.
Fictitious?
A political figure?
A factual non-political figure?
(Dr Q) NO - Not fictitious.
(Boolbar) Political? - NO
(CdM) Factual? Not quite sure what you're getting at. This is a live non-politician.
European?
Athletic-type?
(Boolbar) European? YES
(drquuxum) Athletic type? NO. *audience crease themselves*
The Queen?
(Bismarck) Her Maj? NO. *audience amused*
Someone in the entertainment field (or at least purports to be)?
(drquuxum) Entertainment? YES.
British?
(Tuj) British? YES.
Has she ever appeared on Just a Minute?
(Bismarck) Just a minute? I don't know. I'd have thought not.
Hidden textI can't stand the programme
Known for singing?
(Boolbar) Known for singing? Er, NO. *some amusement in the audience*
Anything to do with the TV news?
Does she appear on-stage (that is, in person) with any regularity?
(Bismarck) News? NO.
(drquuxum) Not so much regularly as frequently.
Is she a Dame?
(Duj) A Dame? NO, at least not yet.
Does the person usually work with a comedic bent?
(Dr Q) Comedian? YES, but there are other strings to her bow.
Has she appeared on Have I Got News For You?
(Boolbar) HIGNFY? YES. *audience cheers*
Does she change the colour of her hair frequently?
Scottish?
(drquuxum) Hair colour change? I can't say for certain, but the answer is probably YES.
(Boolbar) Scottish? NO.
Jo Brand?
The splendid JO BRAND it is! Well done Dr Q. Your turn.
Woot! I've only seen a bit of Jo Brand's work on QI & HIGNFY; I hope to see more. In any event, the new category is:
MINERAL
Stone?
Is it something created by humans?
Was it once alive?
The Angel of the North?
[Rosie] YES. [Boolbar] NO. [Bismarck] NO. [Gusset] NO.
Is it not on planet Earth?
[Boolbar] YES, it is not on the Earth.
Is it real?
An exoplanet?
An asteroid?
A comet?
The Moon, now it's back after the eclipse?
Sorry for the delay.
[Superman] YES.
[Raak] NO.
[Rosie] MAYBE.
[Boolbar] NO.
[Bismarck] NO.
[Rosie] PS - Jo Brand has been on Just A Minute, but not since 1999.
Pluto?
I'd have thought Jo Brand is too laconic for Just a Minute.
[Rosie] NO. Probably why she hasn't been on in 18 years.
Is it a collection of objects?
[Boolbar] NO.
A moon of another planet?
[Bismarck] YES. *audience woooooos*
Phobos?
In the Jovian system?
ROSIE IS CORRECT
Indeed, the Martian moon Phobos. That was quick.
Your turn, Rosie.
Does it be-
Oh, too late!
And the next object is:
ABSTRACT WITH MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Is it a process?
(drquuxum) NO, not a process.
Is it Art?
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
(Raak) Art? NO.
(Boolbar) Phrase etc, NO.
Is it something that has existed/would exist without humans?
(drquuxum) Would it exist/have existed without humans? YES.
A physical theory?
Chemistry?
(Raak) A physical theory? NO.
(Superman) NOT chemistry.
Is the mineral stone?
(Bismarck) Stone? NO.
A figurative expression?
Is it associated with a particular location?
(Raak) A figurative expression? CAN BE, but there is an equally valid literal meaning.
(Tuj) Associated with a partcular location? NO.
Geology?
(Bismarck) NO, nothing to do with geology.
Radioactive decay?
(Superman) Radioactive decay? NO.
Is it known to happen/exist anywhere outside of the planet Earth?
Anything to do with earth?
As in soil.
(Dr Q) Elsewhere than Earth? In a literal sense YES but that is not at all helpful.
(Boolbar) NO, nothing to do with earth in that sense.
Anything to do with communication?
(drquuxum) NO, nothing to do with communication.
Weather related?
(Boolbar) Weather related? YES. *audience cheers*
A sh*t storm?
[Software] I feel like that would be more of "Animal connections". :D
is the mineral water?
(Software) Explosive diarrhea? NO.
(Superman) Water? YES.
Are clouds anything to do with this?
(Boolbar) Clouds? YES and NO.
Cloudy with sunny intervals and occasional rain spreading from the east with possible patches of fog and later on if the sky clears there may be some frost through the night?
The shipping forecast?
Red and yellow and pink and green, purple and orange and blue?
They don't write them like that anymore.
(Raak and Bismarck) NO. It's not a forecast.
(Boolbar) Most definitely NOT a rainbow.
Lightning?
Contrails?
A t(r)opical storm?
(drquuxum) Lightning? NO.
(Raak) "Aircraft cirrus"? NO.
(Superman) NOT a storm of any kind.
Humidity?
(Dr Q) Humidity? NO. *some rather unkind sniggers from the audience*
Precipitation?
Is the water standing? (As opposed to running. Or sitting with its legs crossed)
Is the water frozen?
Flooding?
(Boolbar) Precipitation? NO. *audience sniggers turn to giggling*
(CdM) The water is not standing, it has withdrawn.
(drquuxum) Frozen? Impossible to say.
(Superman) Flooding? NO. *audience quite bewildered*
Is it something to do with a lack of rain?
The sudden withdrawal of the sea before a tsunami?
(Boolbar) A lack of rain? YES. *prolonged applause from the audience*
(Raak) Preparing for the inundation? NO.
Evaporation?
Drought?
(Superman) NOT evaporation.
(drquuxum)YESSSS! A total or very nearly total absence of aqueous entities. Well done Dr Q. We've got this little game sorted, haven't we?

Your turn again.

Given that Boolbar gave the clear winning clue, I'd be willing to let them have a go if they agree. [Offer expires in 48 hours]
The DrQ-Boolbar summit
Are the negotiations proceeding well, and will a communiqué be released in due course?
I suppose I'll defer to Boolbar at a later date. In the meantime, let's continue with the lesser-used...

VEGETABLE

Trump?
Can you smoke it?
Is it a foodstuff?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Rosie: YES.
Dairy-free yoghurt?
Raak: NO. *audience oohs already*
Does it grow from a grain?
Bismarck: PARTIALLY.
Is it used in making a drink?
Rosie: NO. *mild chortling from the audience*
Muesli?
A vegetarian form of imitation meat?
Superman: NO.
Raak: PARTIALLY.
Does soya come into it?
Superman: POSSIBLY.
In the AOTC, is the foodstuff for human consumption?
Superman: YES, but what does Star Wars have to do with this?
Ahem, WE'RE asking the questions, laddie. Is this fast food
Vat-grown meat?
Bismarck: NO, and that's "lassie" to you >:P
Raak: NO.
A vegetarian sausage?
I see I should pop by more often...
Boolbar: NO, and possibly so.
A breakfast cereal?
Bismarck: NO.
Quorn?
Whatever that is
Software: NO.
A complete meal?
Boolbar: YES.
A TV dinner?
Bismarck: NO.
Quinoa?
Whatever that is.
A breakfast meal?
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
Boolbar: NO, except if you're reaaaally hung over and just don't care.
"Pop tarts"?
I preferred the metal tarts, myself
Superman: NO.
One of these meal replacement mixtures fashionable among geeks, like Solyent, Huel, etc.?
Raak: NO.
Frozen pizza?
Bis: NO.
Does this meal include potato?
Boolbar: NO.
Do you find this in a fast food outlet?
Raak: NO.
Is this barbecued food?
Recap
Not sure we're getting close to the doctor's order. A recap:
IS a human foodstuff, and a complete potato-free meal thereof.
IS PARTIALLY grown from grain, vegetarian, and it might have some soya in it. You would only have it for breakfast if you're really wasted.
IS NOT ... pretty much everything else, including a drink constituent, pizza, breakfast cereal, ready dinner, veggie meat substitute, and fast food.
We're still waiting to find out if it's quinoa or barbecued.
Leftover question regarding quinoa: NO.
Boolbar (BBQ): NO.
Bis: Per Raak's question of "Vegetarian form of imitation meat", the answer was PARTIALLY, not NO.
Is the food/meal associated particularly with a country?
Bismarck: Debatable, but let's say YES.
Is it customarily eaten with chopsticks?
Steak and kidney pudding?
Raak: NO.
Superman: NO.
Are we looking for the constituent name of the ingredients like "Meat and two veg"?
Are looking for a name as It might appear on a menu, like "Waldorf salad"?
Bismarck #1: NO.
Bismarck #2: YES.
Is it Waldorf salad?
Bismarck: NO.
Nasi goreng?
Superman: Wot?
Well, obvs ain't that, then *ticks another tofu-containing dish off the list*
Is it a spicy meal?
Full English breakfast?
A vegie breakfast?
Rogan josh?
Boolbar: CAN BE; NOT OBLIGATORY.
Bismarck: NO.
Software: NO (but see previous commentary)
Superman: NO.
Some sort of soup?
Does salad come into it?
Can one obtain all the ingredients in the typical supermarket?
Boolbar: NO.
Bismarck: NO.
Raak: MAYBE? I'm not sure what would be considered "typical" in a British supermarket. A sufficiently-large USA supermarket would be a YES.
A quick lorainney? (as they say in my parts)
Superman: Wot?
Sheesh... a quiche lorraine?
Some type of pie?
Sup: NO.
Bool: NO.
Is it usually eaten hot?
Bool: YES.
Anyone? Bueller?
Does the meal include pasta?
Superman: YES. *wave of applause emanate from the audience as they are awoken from their slumber*
A spaghetti dish?
Bool: NO.
Lasagne/Lasagna ?
Gusset: YES. *Audience in resounding applause*
Lasagne pescatore?
Bis: NO.
Lasagna vegetarian?
Close enough
I was specifically going for "Vegan Lasagna" (with non-dairy Ricotta and TVP-like meat), but I figure with this lot it'd be a bit too pedantic.

Superman takes the victory and the next subject!

Oh like wow
I'd just like to thank you. And my lawyer. And my mother. And my brain surgeon. Without you it wouldn't be the same. And to all those millions who have contributed to this success, you're wonderful. Most of you are anyway. I sincerely hope vague praise is enough for you, because I'm keeping the rest.

But on with the show! Now greater, better, yellower, and it's...
ANIMAL !
Is it Tuj asking if it begins with P?
Edible?
Mammal?
Can you eat it?
Human?
Can you eat it? I dunno. Stupid old fool.
Unique?
Is it alive?
Incidentally, my first post in this game for nearly 17 months. oops!
Hello class
Your marks, in order:
[Boolbar] NO, leave Tuj alone.
[Raak] YES, but even so wait for lunch break
[Rosie] NO, we are not cannibals, and do fifty lines "I must not insult myself, others are there to do it"
[Tuj] NO, there are uncounted examples
[Phil] YES, unlike certain pupils in class 2B. Don't forget to give your name for the register.
Yeah, but is it human?
If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?
[Rosie] NO, now move on to exercise two.
[CdM] I see you have reached exercise 421, well done! NO, of course. Maybe you can sit next to Rosie and help him along.
Repeating: Mammal?
Is it a fish?
[Drq] NO.
[Boolbar] NO.
Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Is it a bird?
Hmm, so you answered "No" to 'If Boolbar had instead asked "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?" would you have said no?'. So you would not say "No" (ie. you would say "Yes"*) to the question "if Tuj were to ask if it begins with P, would you say yes?". Hence it does begin with "P".
* Or you might have answered "Maybe" which throws any attempt at logic out of the window.
A parrot, dead perhaps?
Does it fly?
Is it alive?
Ill logic
[Boolbar] I always wondered if "Bool" meant a Boolean logical construct and "bar" meant the logical inverse of that construct, thus permitting the assumption about the local valid of "true" and "false" of the "Boolbar" referential. Is it true?
[Software] NO, unwanted dead or alive.
[Raak] It does not fly of its own accord.
[Bismarck] Dead or alive makes no difference, it's the name of the thing I'm after.
Does it begin with P?
Hopefully collapsing the waveform.
Repeating: Green (or a relatively close shade)?
Catching up
[Boolbar] NOT a bird.
[DrQxm] Colour is not important.
[Tuj] One of the words on the card does.
A mushroom or fungus?
Macroscopic?
[Bism] NO, not fungus. [DrQx] errrmmm... This cannot be seen by the unaided eye.
botulism?
Applause from the audience
[Software] NO.
A bacterium?
A virus?
[Bismarck] Yes! Audience start clapping.
[Raak] NO.
Yeast?
Salmonella?
Clostridium botulinum?
Would Porton Down take any interest in it?
Wee beasties
[Raak] NO, that's a fungus.
[Software] NO, this won't poison you.
[Rosie] NO.
[drquuxum] NO, though for all I know they might take a passing interest.
Amoeba?
Does it have a flagellum?
[Raak] NO, amoebae are eukaryotic.
[drquuxum] NO flagella.
E. coli?
Streptococcus thermophilus?
Back-to-bacteria
[Raak] Audience starts clapping, but it's NO.
[Software] Audience now cheering! Still NO.
Staph?
Lactobacillus delbrueckii subsp. bulgaricus?
?
[Raak] N.
[Software] NO. You were hot, but you're cooling.
Reminder: One of the words begins with Tuj P.
Pneumococcus?
Oohs from the audience
[drquuxum] NO, we're going around the answer without quite getting there.
Streptococcus pneumoniae?
© Lurkers Я Us
Top of the class
CdM has it! Streptococcus pneumoniae it is. Take this very small baton along with the Mrs Joyful prize for raffia work and look smug over there while the audience applauds.
Uh-oh
Well, that technically wasn't quite a lurker's victory, because I did ask one previous question. But I have been basically absent here for a long time and have almost forgotten how to play this game. Let's go for an ABSTRACT with ANIMAL AND MINERAL CONNECTIONS.
Medusa?
Stony silence from the audience
Medusa? No.
On reflection it might be more accurate to call this: ABSTRACT and partly MINERAL (with ANIMAL connections).
Is it art?
The audience doesn’t know, but they do know what they like
Art? No.
Is it a well known phrase or saying?
Is it a representation, in a mineral substance, of an animal?
The green eye of the little yellow god?
Well-known phrase or saying? The words on the card make up a 12-word phrase (including the definite article) that is certainly not a well-known phrase or saying. However, I will also accept other shorter and more familiar phrases (the most common of which is five words long, including the definite article). That said, the point of the answer is not that it is a well-known phrase, if you see what I mean.
Mineral representation of an animal? *smattering of applause* The mineral piece does include a representation of an animal.
Green eye of yellow god? No.
Is this a part of Arthurian legend?
Arthurian? No. *a slight smile appears briefly on the face of a particularly well informed audience member*
Does it exist on this earth?
Is it a representative symbol or logo?
Earthly? Yes.
Swoosh? No.
Is it part of some other body of legend?
Legendary? No. (You should ignore the smiling audience member; I guarantee it won't help.)
Is this found in the works of Shakespeare?
Shakespearean? No.
Is it representative of a person?
Representative of a person? *some audience applause*     Taking this first as a narrow question, following on Raak's question before last, I would now amend my answer to say: Yes, The mineral piece does include a representation of an person. Thinking about the AOTC more generally, it depends a bit on how you interpret the word "representative", but the best answer is No.
The demolishing of the statues of Civil War generals in the South of the United States?
A few o many words...
But is it art?
Would the AOTC have been known in the year 1950?
Confederasing? No.
Art? No. *some laughter from the more cynical members of the audience*
Known in 1950? No. *while this answer is indubitably correct, it nonetheless prompts some discussion in the audience*
Something to do with winning an award or a competition?
To do with winning award or competition? Yes. *sustained applause*
An Oscar?
Connected to a sporting event?
Oscar? No.
Sporting? No.
A trophy or medal of some sort?
Does this refer to them what has won a game on this here page?
Trophy or Medal? *applause* The mineral part of the answer is a medal.
Local game winner? *laughter* The AOTC is not a winner of an MC game. And I am highly confident that no game-winner here has one of the aforementioned medals.
Is this medal awarded for scientific achievement?
Is this medal awarded for bravery?
Is a new medal created for each recipient?
As opposed to passing it around.
Scientific achievement? Yes. *some laughter from exactly the same cynics who we’re laughing previously*
Bravery? No.
New medal for each recipient? Yes. *applause for the question*
The Swedish National Bank's Prize in Economic Sciences in Memory of Alfred Nobel?
Also known as "The Nobel Prize in Economics".
Well, technically, my card says "Sverige Riksbank", which is why it has 12 words as advertised, not 13. But, YES, Raak now has a gold baton with his name inscribed on the edge.
Your Royal Highness, members of the Nobel committee, jealous also-rans, ladies and gentlemen. To begin a brief informal sketch of the work that led to this award, consider the topos of Liesenring-Schmethold operators over a symplectic manifold equipped with the Swale cohomology on its cotangent bundle...(contd. p.94)

The next is MINERAL.

Stone?
By volume, almost entirely stone.
Sculpted into the likeness of something, like me for instance?
Not a likeness.
Is it a mountain?
Not a mountain.
The pyramids?
A heavenly body?
[S] Not the pyramids.
[B] Not a heavenly body.
Inscribed in any way?
Is it unique?
Well solved, btw!
Does it possess Buddha-nature?
Is it a geological formation?
[R] Not inscribed.
[T] Unique.
[S] Mu.
[d] *applause* A geological formation.
Is it entirely within one country?
Is it a desert?
[B] Not within one country.
[d] Not a desert.
Was it formed within the last fifteen million years?
[S] Not formed within the last fifteen million years.
Is water or ice involved?
The African Rift Valley?
Long shot. I'm not sure how old that is.
[d] No water or ice involved, except incidentally.
[R] Not the African Rift Valley.
Is it primarily underground?
[d] I think you could say that any geological formation is primarily underground, even Mount Everest. If the question is whether it is entirely underground, the answer is no.
A specific archipelago?
[D] Not an archipelago.
Mountains?
[B] (Confers with Mycroft) Mountains would be part of it.
Big? (More than 1000 miles in any direction except up)
[R] (polite applause) Big.
A continent?
[C] (more applause) A continent.
Does this continent exist today?
[S] (even more applause) This continent does not exist today.
Rodinya?
[B] Not Rodinya.
Gondwanaland?
[R] Not Gondwanaland.
Pangaea?
Laurasia?
[S] Not Laurasia, but...
[B] Pangaea it is.
Moving quickly on a geological timescale, pausing only to thank the tectonic forces that fashioned this earth with the odd helping hand from extraterrestrial meteorites, read this carefully-arranged eruption which spells

ABSTRACT
(as well as trouble for a few geological theories when it's discovered).

Is it a thing known to exist on the planet Earth?
The theory expounded by the Flat Earth Society?
Themyscira?
Counter-Earth?
Hell?
Hadean epoch
Welcome, welcome to one and all.
[DrQ] It's abstract. Really quite abstract. So yes, if only in our minds.
[Duj] Not the flat-earthers.
[Boo] No Amazons here (with Black Friday coming, that may be a relief)
[Raak] Not our twin from the dark side.
[Gus] Topical in this epoch, but not relevant.
Is it a human feeling?
[Rosie] No, it isn't.
Is it something found in a work of fiction?
Archean eon approaching
[DrQ] It is often used as a word and a concept in many forms of writing.
Let me add that there is one word on the card.
Does it begin with M?
Does it end with M?
Utopia?
Is there an M in the AOTC anywhere?
Mesoarchaean
[Tuj], [Boolbar], [Gusset Login], there is no M.
[Raak]Utopia is nowhere to be seen.
Is it an emotion?
Is it something mythical?
Proterozoic
[Tuj] This cannot be felt.
[Raak] Your myth does not hit.
Is it something that you might find on this website?
[drquuxum] Most definitely.
Time?
Life appears with enough appendages to applaud
(Sup) NO, but the audience wakes up and claps. A bit.
Language?
Does the word on the card have more than six letters?
Wit?
[Boolbar] Not language.
[Superman] No.
[Rosie] Not wit.
Scattered applause here and there for all that.
Is it typographical in nature?
The Ding an sich?
Phanerozoic here, how are you?
Lots of good stuff coming now. Both on the right evolutionary branch.
[DrQuuxum] If you mean ems, ens and that sort of thing, no.
[Raak] No, though in a sense, as you taught us to say, isn't everything?
Is it a figure of speech?
[Tuj] I don't think you could call it that.
A guess?
Cambrian era, when all was Welsh
[Boolbar] Not a guess.
Is the word a noun?
Dinosauria?
[Superman] oh boy, the difficult one... No, but there is a phrase in which this gets nouned.
Is it the title of a film?
Any ideas for a plan of attack anybody?
Time for Snowball Earth
[Tuj] Not a film title. Doesn't begin with P either, but it does begin with a letter that is a rotation or reflection of P.
Beauty?
Tectonically...
[Bool] That's pretty good guess, in a way, but... No.
Could you say it was discovered?
Discovey of time
[Tuj] No. But someone did, I suppose. Probably Eve when you look back at it.
Evil?
[Raak] No, not the good answer.
Related to the Grim Reaper?
Is it a verb?
[Lurk] No, don't think so.
[Soup] no, but as in your previous question, there is a famous phrase where it is treated as a verb.
Does it begin with B?
[Boolbar] Yes!
I have not played this game before . . .
Is it Bang the Drum Slowly?
[KaShu] No but it doesn't half feel like it.
Banter?
Doesn't time fly
[Boolbar] No, still simpler, still more abstract.
Black?
Be?
[CdM] Not a colour.
[Boolbar] That's getting close in abstraction to the answer. Not a verb
Being?
[Raak] Unbearable lightness? No.
Begin?
Borrowing Raak's letters.
[Boolbar] No, but I regret it.
Does the answer on the card have exactly 1 letter "e" in it?
Random guessing now.
Anything to do with mathematics?
Anyone else have any ideas?
A move!
[Boolbar] No "e" whatever, nothing to do with maths.
Look, it begins with "b", it's short (hint: 3 letters), it's not a verb, a noun (notwithstanding a famous phrase in which it gets used as both a noun and a verb),or adjective and I'm regretting having used it. Not enough to give the answer?
But?
The winner
[Raak] finishes the game in style. That'll teach me to take something small and easy.
But...ah. The next is MINERAL.
Is this an astronomical body?
Not an astronomical body.
Unique?
Not unique.
Is it natural?
Not natural.
Predominantly made of metal?
IS it the Angel of the North?
[Tuj] Not predominantly metal.
[Bismarck] Not the AotN.
Are they still being made today?
Still made today.
Made largely of plastic?
Not largely plastic.
Larger than a toaster?
Can be larger than a toaster.
Is it made of brick?
Not made of brick.
Does it have moving parts?
No moving parts.
A piece of furniture?
Not furniture.
An ornament?
Stone?
[B] Can be an ornament.
[S] Not stone.
Made mostly of wood?
Smaller members of the audience fidget and ask, "Are we nearly there yet?" "Soon," say their parents unconvincingly.
Not at all made of wood.
Actually...
On further study, this IS made mostly of metal.
Does it begin with P?
Where these being made before the year 1900?
[T] Does not begin with P.
[B] (a ripple of applause) Were being made before 1900.
Used in the kitchen?
Not used in the kitchen.
Does it have glass in it?
Strictly speaking, the thing itself does not have glass in it.
Is it used to measure something?
Not used to measure anything.
A lamppost?
Not a lamppost.
Summary: mainly metal (but note the "strictly speaking" concerning the glass question), made now and before 1900 (perhaps predominantly the latter, judging by the audience reaction), can be larger than a toaster, not unique, not naturally occurring, no moving parts, not furniture, not a measuring device, not a kitchen item, not a lamppost.
Yeah, well, that pretty much sums it up, innit, Raak?
- A mirror?
Not a mirror.
Connected with illumination?
One could say that it is indirectly connected with illumination.
A window?
Not a window. More indirect than that.
Electrical?
Not electrical.
An oil lamp?
Not an oil lamp.
Usually used or found outdoors?
Not usually used or found outdoors.
Connected with a fireplace?
Nothing to do with a fireplace.
Something to do with beverages?
Nothing to do with beverages.

Hint: the connection with light might be the most promising approach.

Candles?
Does the light connection involve natural light?
[B] Not candles.
[R] Can involve natural light.
Is it connected with photography?
(The audience erupts at this sudden relief from their ordeal.)
It is connected with photography.
Some sort of reflector?
Not a reflector.
Camera lens?
Not a lens.
Photo paper?
(a ripple of applause) Not photo paper. (Made of metal, remember.)
A camera tripod?
(the audience sit with firmly folded arms.) Not a tripod.
A photo plate?
(applause) Yes, a type of photographic plate.
The audience fumes impatiently while the hare decides to take a nap just short of the finishing line.
A lantern slide?
Not a lantern slide.
A speculum?
Copper plate?
[B] Not a speculum.
[R] Yes, it is a copper plate.
A Daguerrotype?
YES, a daguerrotype. Have this framed daguerrotype of the baton used by the conductor at the opening ceremony of the Great Exhibition of 1851.
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas daguerre. Oh yes it is.

Right then, the next one is

MINERAL with an ABSTRACT feel

A sculpture?
(Raak) Nice try but not a sculpture.
is it fictional?
(Superman) Fictional? NO, it's real.
Is it on planet Earth?
(Boolbar) On the earth? NO. *some audience titters*
Can it be seen from Earth?
Is it within planet Earth?
The centre of the Earth?
(Bismarck) Visible from earth? NO. *audience visibly animated*
(Boolbar) NOT within planet earth.
(Raak) NOT the centre of the earth.
The centre of the universe?
(Superman) Centre of the universe? Who knows where that is? It's not the AOTC.
Is it in our solar system?
(Tuj) YES, it's in the Solar System.
A dwarf planet?
Pertaining to the Moon?
(Boolbar) NOT a dwarf planet.
(Dujon) Pertaining to the moon? YES. *audience frenzy*
Tranquillity Base?
(Bismarck) Tranquility Base? NO.
Sounds like a mood-altering alkaloid.
Is it man-made?
(Superman) Man-made? NO.
The dark side of the moon?
(CdM) The dark side of the moon? CLOSE but no cigar. *Confused reaction from audience. Some fighting.*
Eclipse?
(Bismarck) Eclipse? NO.
A specific feature on the far side of the moon?
(CdM) NO, not a specific feature.
The moon itself?
(Superman) The moon itself? NO.
A crater?
(Boolbar) NO, not a crater.
A sea?
(Superman) NOT a sea. I have a feeling the questioners have run past the target.
The Moon-Earth Trojan points?
(Raak) Well, grab me by the Lagranges. Nothing so technical.
The near side of the moon?
(Raak) Near side of the moon? NO. *audience jumps up and down in frustration*
The centre of the moon?
*roll of drums* The Crescent moon?
The roughly 41% of the moon's surface not visible from Earth?
YES! The synchronously rotating BOOLBAR has it. It's The far side of the moon. OK, your go.
Oo! Let's end that phase and begin another. Something hopefully quick as I will be busy soon.

ABSTRACT ANIMAL

I'm not really sure how to play this
Is this a mythical creature?
How to Play
[KagomeShuko] Welcome. Others who've played more will correct me if I get this wrong I'm sure, but I think it's pretty straightforward - ask a question to narrow down the possibilities (just as you have!), then await the answer from Boolbar - later on make specific guesses, once you've an idea. Scroll back to earlier rounds for the flavour of it...
Q: Is it a heraldic animal?
Off to a flying start.
[KagomeShuko] Questions should be those which can be answered with a simple "Yes" or "No". Speaking of which...
(KagomeShuko) Mythical?  YES. But that wouldn't be the first thing you'd think of when the answer on the card is revealed. So I predict a lot of questions which are going to go down the wrong path.
(blamelewis) Heraldic?  NO.
A metaphorical animal?
I think it is better to say
Mythical creature? NO as the AOTC is not a creature of ancient myths itself, but belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth.
(Raak) A metaphorical animal? NO.
The komodo dragon?
As in a not so mythical beast, though I shall attempt to emblazon one on the family crest.
Dragging on.
(Bismarck) Komodo NO.
The Beast from the East?
Originating from a specific work of fiction?
Still skirting around the edges.
(Rosie) Cold weather? NO.
(Tuj) Originating from a specific work of fiction? YES.
Begins with P?
The Hydra?
Was the fiction concerned written in the last twenty years?
[Tuj] P? - pNO.
(Rosie) Hydra? NO.
(Superman) Last 20 years? The original origin, NO.
Are we looking for a family or genus of animals
(Superman) Family or genus? NO
Is it Frankenstein's Monster?
Wild guess :)
(blamelewis) Frankenstein's Monster? NO. But I believe we are starting to head a teeny tad in the right direction.
Double Identity?
Does this monster exist within the same body as a "Dr."?
(KagomeShuko) Monster/Dr.? NO (for both) but some of the audience got exited at the mention of double identity...
Is the source of the myth Scandinavian?
It's a mythtery.
(Superman) From Scandinavian myth? NO
Are we in the world of Tolkien?
(Knobbly) Tolkien related? NO
Is the original origin piece of fiction something that was originally published in English?
(blamelewis) Origin fiction in English? YES
Belonging to a class of mythical creatures, the specific animal was originally from an English piece of fiction from over twenty years ago (but possibly re-used since). Not a heraldic animal, nor a monster, not from Tolkien, not Scandinavian.
Is the animal a canine?
Was a song written about it?
Who let the dogs out?
Note : English language but not necessarily English. And as I put it "belongs to a group that is based on creatures of myth" but that won't help much.
(Bismarck) Doggy? NO
(Bismarck) A song? YES (more of a by-product) and at least one other obscure and dreadful song that I know of.
Is the animal bit human?
Reckon the animal bit us the wrong track. There's bet free that aren't heraldic, or monstrous.
Auto-correct strikes again!
(Bismarck) Human? YES (in the broad sense of being human).
Audience give a hearty cheer.
Is it from Chaucer?
Or originally in American English?
Flying Chaucers
(blamelewis) Chaucer? NO   American English? YES
Is it a ghostly apparition in human form?
(blamelewis) Ghostly? Woo! NO
A figure in American folk tales, like John Bunyan?
(Bismarck) Folky? NO
Just to confuse: I've found that the AOTC was a ghost on one occasion but I doubt that will help anyone here.
Was the original American English story written in the 20th century?
[Superman] 20th Century? YES!
Transformation?
Is this a human that turns into another creature?
Is science fiction involved?
*Some of the audience hums at the mention of transformation*
(KagomeShuko) Human that turns into another creature? NO but within their history, the AOTC has had a few methods of "changing" :)
(Bismarck) Science fiction? Hmm, there are many Sci-fi elements that come into this, so it is involved, yes.
I thought this could be simple but I forgot the AOTC has had so much variation over the years.
Little green men?
(Superman) Little green men? I like your thinking, but NO. (The AOTC has met little green men though).
A superhero?
What is AOTC? And hatching?
Is transforming not necessarily transforming, but like hatching from an egg?
(KagomeShuko) AOTC = "Answer on the Card" or in other words : the answer you are looking for. As for the tiny hint about transforming: it is an everyday transformation that we are all capable of doing. The AOTC has a few nifty ways of doing it.
(Raak) Superhero? YES. *cue audience going wild with excitement*
Superman?
(If it's not that, I *bet* it's either a bird or a plane!)
(Superman) Superman? (NO) NO.
(blamelewis) No birds or planes, at least not that I can see. *some audience tittering*
The Incredible Hulk?
Having a smashing time
(Bismarck) Hulk? Incredibly NO.
Is the superhero concerned a baddie?
(Superman) Baddie? NO
A Marvel character?
A marvellous guess, but...
(Bismarck) Marvel? NO
This is bothering me. Everything I can think of that involves superhero persons changing doesn't involve little green men, and everything I can think of involving little green men doesn't involve changing. I'm stuck.
Can this superhero move incredibly fast?
Sorry... been busy
(Raak) Fast? YES. "Incredibly fast"? Possibly. The AOTC can move faster than us, some versions extremely fast. Not usually as fast as the previously mentioned Superman though.
(Bismarck) See note I made just above about changing to KagomeShuko. And "little green men" was only one or two story lines of many. Neither are particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Non-Marvel superhero : that does narrow things down a tad. :)
Anything to do with Star Trek?
Beam me up...
(Superman) Anything to do with Star Trek? NO. (Aside from any actors who have appeared in roles connected with both Star Trek and the AOTC. Oh, and the occasional transporter use.)
(sound of possible penny)
Is the hero occasionally invisible?
penny spins around...
(blamelewis) Invisible at times? *Some muttering in the audience* Well, the AOTC can't become invisible themselves but can use something they own to make themselves invisible (even though within comics and other media they are usually still visible, otherwise you'd be looking at scenery for a few frames!)
Caped crusaders - as a general class?
Supergirl?
(Superman) Caped crusader? Given that the AOTC comes from the same era as most of the famous caped crusaders and has often appeared alongside other caped crusaders then I guess they would belong to that class. However the AOTC does not usually wear a cape (except for ceremonial or official duties).
(Chalky) Nice to see you. And Supergirl? NO *Audience applauds guess though*
Catwoman?
Something from Thunderbirds?
(Raak)  Catwoman?  NO, but I have a comic with Catwoman fighting the AOTC on the cover...
(Bismarck)  Thunderbirds are NO.
Batgirl?
I think the "invisible thing" gave me the answer . . .
Is the AOTC Wonder Woman?
Merciful Minerva!
(Chalky) Batgirl? NO
(KagomeShuko) Wonder Woman? Great Hera! That is the right answer!

Let me pass you this invisible baton... which I'm sure I left around here somewhere.

I THINK I've got this, maybe? Sorry if I don't quite get it yet . . .
OCCUPATION ANIMAL
Is the animal a canine?
Some of the audience gets a little too excited at the mention of a number
A canine? Not even close.
Human?
Is it unique?
Human
The audience laughs, but also hums at human The animals itself isn't a human, but a human can certainly have that occupation.
Unique
There are certainly more than one person that holds the occupation and there are certainly more than one animal of this kind.
A donkey?
(KS) You are giving a little too much away. Your replies can be one-word if you want.
Hmm, I'd have to say that guess is a bit "Ass"inine.
Definitely not a donkey.
Would the word used for this animal also be used to describe an illicit carrier?
illicit
I've not heard of either word being one for an illicit carrier.
Does this animal provide any useful material?
This animal doesn't provide us with any useful materials.
A lion tamer?
Is the animal a bird?
Are we trying to guess a griffin here?
There' no lion about this - no lions and no birds.
Is it unicellular?
O HAI ERRYONE
Does it have a little light? :-)
Cells and lights . . .
While prison cells need more lights, this animal definitely has more than one cell (and nothing "uni" that I know) and definitely doesn't not have a light.
Is the animal a fish?
Here fishy, fishy
No fish jump into your boat. No fish here . . .
Is the animal a mammal?
Many members of the audience start questioning . . .
The animal itself isn't a mammal, but the descriptor of the animal in the front is . . .
Is this a mythological being or beings?
Nothing is mything. This animals is completely realistic.
Does politics come into this?
No politics at play - or work - or rest.
A hybrid creature?
Vroom Vroom
Hybrid? I thought those were cars . . .
Nope, not a hybrid creature
Does theatre come into it?
Four-legged?
Theatre? There's nothing theatre specific, though the creature might come into the theatre and the human descriptor might be in the theatre, too.
Audience oohs and ahs . . .
Four legs? Definitely not a four-legged creature.
An insect?
Is the human reference the word "man" or "woman"?
The audience leans towards Boolbar in anticipation
Yes, indeed, the animal is an insect!
The descriptor that is human could be either a man or a woman, but it doesn't contain either word.
Butterfly catcher?
Is this a flying beastie?
The audience makes uncertain noises
This animal definitely does not catch butterflies (nor is it a butterfly). It can fly, but it usually isn't common to see them flying - nor is it usually a good sign, but that always depends on where they are flying and why . . .
Some sort of beetle?
Nope, not a beetle.
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home...?
Or stay put . . .
Not a ladybird or a ladybug. The human descriptor could refer to either gender and thing in total is two words, not one word.
Some type of ant?
Queen bee?
The audience gasps in anticpation
Not a bee, but definitely some type of ant! Getting warmer!!
The carpenter ant?
Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner, winner, Have a berliner!
Yes, indeed Bismarck, it is the Carpenter Ant!!!!
Well that was a surprise. Nice subject, thanks Mr Shuko. Here we go with a

MINERAL

objectithing for your ongoing delight.

Is it found on planet Earth?
Metalic?
Manufactured?
A spaceship built of stone?
[Boolbar] Earthly? YES.
[Software] Metallic? NO, not essentially.
[Rosie] Artificial? NO.
[Raak] NO. But a very good guess.
A meteorite?
?Oumuamua?
That should have been 'Oumuamua.
Is it in Australia?
Is it unique?
This might be over quite quickly...
[Rosie] NO, not a celestial object
[Raak] NO, see above
[Superman] YES, it's down under
[Tuj] YES, there can be only one.
Uluru?
Well blow down my didgeridoo
Yup, that was easy enough. Ayers Rock did finish a little-known Australian SF story called The Mountain Movers by being revealed as a stone space ship. Nevertheless Rosie gets there first and will take this boomerang-shaped baton for the next round. Well done!
Here we are at last
Talking of boomerangs, I made one in 1974 from instructions in the New Scientist, which explained the aerodynamics. I've still got it; it's probably under a pile of junk in the garage somewhere. It really works but you need an area the size of a football pitch and preferably no wind. Boomerangs are chiral, i.e. -handed and mine, to suit, is a southpaw. Having said all that, it's now deduction time.

The next object, which has but the most tenuous link with steam engines, is:

VEGETABLE and MINERAL

Who knows she (Yes, Bismarck, KagomeShuko is female) is not making any sense, but wanted to be silly
Is it a potato iron?
Salt and vinegar crisps?
A lemon battery?
A fossilized tree?
The Golden Arrow?
(KagomeSuko) Ace silliness, but wide of the mark by some distance.
(Raak) Well-known dehydrating agent? NO.
(Boolbar) Lemon battery? NO. Nor a Van de Grapefruit machine.
(Superman) NOT a fossilised tree.
(Softers) The flesh door? NO, not even when steam-hauled, alas.
Any wood (or trees) in this?
(Boolbar) There ought not to be. Basically, NO.
A bowl of vegetable soup?
Restaurant Car?
(Bismarck) Well, that's scrumptious thought but it ain't the answer.
(Softers) Not a restaurant car. You wouldn't get this in a decent restaurant car.
Coffee in a paper cup?
s/paper/plastic/
Is the mineral metal?
(Raak) Coffee in a paper cup. NO. *audience perks up*
(Superman) Mineral metal? NO. *some tittering among audience*
A carbonated beverage?
A beverage and its receptacle?
Mineral = stone?
(Boolbar) Carbonated beverage? Burp! NO.
(Raak) Beverage + receptacle? NO.
(Softers) Mineral not stone.
Is the mineral part glass?
(Bismarck) Glass? NO. *horrified laughs from the audience*
Is the vegetable human-edible?
Be it liquid at room temperature?
Lovely boomerang anecdote, Rosie :)
Massage oil?
Any chocolate in this?
(Superman) Veg part human edible? YES.*audience applause*
(Tuj) Liquid at room temperature? NO, but *some uncertain and quickly stifled audience reaction*
(Raak) NOT massage oil.
(Boolbar) Alas NO choccy.
(Tuj) I dug out the boomerang - it still exists. Tomorrow I'll see if I can still chuck it - theres a playing field at the back.
Is this anything to do with cookery?
[Rosie] Good luck with the boomerang. I got one as a lad and after reading the instructions and having a long debate about whether '5-15 degrees inclination' was from the vertical or the horizontal, I chucked it into a tree thirty yards away in a dead straight line.
(Bismarck) Cookery? Well, strictly YES, but I wouldn't quite dignifiy it with that term.

(boo meringues) I'm not sure the throwing angle is all that important but you must hold the asymmetric end and impart as much spin as possible. Mine is quite big (14" arms, 2" wide, marine ply) and I wouldn't like to be hit by it.

Is the mineral part edible?
(Bismarck) Mineral part edible? NO, though it probably wouldn't do you much harm.
Some sort of preserve?
[boomer angles] Many happy returns!
(Boolbar) NO, not a preserve.
Hidden textNot even a preserved steam engine
Is this something normally stored in a freezer
?
Clumsy fingers hitting first the enter key by mistake and then managing to bypass the "whoops" button.
Is the mineral part a wrapping?
I'm thinking British Rail sandwich...
(Boolbar) Store in a freezer? NO.
(simons Mith) Mineral part wrapping? Essesntially, YES, though this is not normally referred to as wrapping. But it's not a British Rail sandwich. *audience now showing considerable signs of animation*
q
oops
Is the mineral water?
(Raak) Is the mineral water what? Oh, I see. The mineral is NOT water.
A plastic-wrapped lettuce?
And the subsidiary question - is the mineral plastic?
Is the mineral part sand or soil?
(Superman) Plastic wrapped lettuce? NO. Subsidiaritily, NOT plastic.
(Boolbar) Mineral part NOT sand or soil.
Does the mineral part contain the vegetable part?
Could you swallow one whole?
Yes, I'm more baiting the audience than being useful, but at least I'm not asking about what letter it starts with.
(Raak) In one sense of the word "contain", YES.
(Tuj) You probably could but it would defeat the purpose of the AOTC and people would start worrying about you.
Is the AOTC usually spherical in shape?
(Boolbar) The AOTC is NEVER spherical.
Is the mneral part gold leaf?
(Raak) Mineral part gold leaf? NO, nothing so fancy.
Does it contain chocolate?
Is it something decorative?
(Raak) Contain chocolate? NO. *audience somewhat amused*
(Boolbar) Decorative? NO, very functional.
Is the mineral part made of crystals?
Is the mineral part an eggshell?
Is the mineral part clay?
(Boolbar) Mineral part made of crystals? NO.
(Raak) Mineral part an eggshell? NO.
(Superman) Clay? NOT made of clay.
Recap v1
I'm running out of ideas for minerals here. It's a sort of container but it's not made of any metal, plant material like paper of course, clay, crystal, soil, sand, stone, plastic, eggshell, or glass. What's left? The veggie bit is edible, but not chocolate or lettuce. The whole thing is functional and not spherical and has a link to cookery. It's not too big as you could swallow it whole.
Some sort of medication?
Is hot or boiling water used with the AOTC to make something else?
(Raak) NOT The Tablets.
(Boolbar) Hot water? YES. *audience goes wild*
Tea?
(Raak) Tea? YES, but not quite the AOTC. *audience goes even wilder*
Green Tea?
Is the mineral aluminium foil?
(Softers) NOT green tea.
(Raak) Mineral NOT aluminium (foil or any other form).
A tea caddy?
(Superman) A tea caddy? NO.
Is the mineral mixed with the tea?
(Raak) Mineral mixed with the tea? NO.
If you dropped one of these on a hard floor would it break?
(Raak) It would NOT break. *a few cruel audience sniggers*
Is the mineral rubber (synthetic, presumably)?
Is the mineral some sort of perforated container?
(Raak) NO, not rubber, synthetic or otherwise.
(Boolbar) Perforated container? YES. *audience goes completely potty*
A nylon teabag?
(Raak) Near enough. The AOTC is actually one of those accoutrements of haute cuisine, the teabag. I declare RAAK the winner and hand him the boiling kettle.
The next is MINERAL, VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, and ABSTRACT.
Is it everything?
[Boolbar] Not everything.
Animal = human?
Obviously not JRM or BoJo etc
[Software] Partly human.
The statue (Mineral) in my local park of someone riding a large cow and surrounded by other people (Animal) and carrying a cornucopia whence fall fruits of all kinds (Vegetable), which is entitled "Plenty" (Abstract)
[Bismarck] Not a statue.
Is it fictional?
[Boolbar] Can be fictional.
Are horses involved?
[Rosie] No horses (except perhaps abstractly).
Is it proverbial?
Is transport involved?
Not necessarily a steam train, of course.
[B] Not proverbial.
[R] In a sense, everything could be involved with this, but in the sense you're thinking, there is no transport involved.
A product of the brain?
[Dujon] Yes! A product of the brain.
An allegory? (AL / Leg / Egg / allegory)
[Superman] Not an allegory.
A dream?
[Rosie] Not a dream.
Perhaps I should note that the MINERAL, VEGETABLE, and ANIMAL aspects of this are not at all abstract. So not a dream, an allegory, a figure of speech, an idea, a philosophy, or a dread foreboding of doom.
Is the Mineral/Vegetable/Animal part a particular area and its contents?
[Boolbar] If I understand you, yes, this thing is made of its Mineral/Vegetable/Animal parts.
Does geography come into it?
[Bismarck] Geography does not specifically come into it.
Is it the Crown?
[SM] Not the Crown.
Does it cost a lot?
[Superman] Yes, one of these does cost a lot. (This is not a unique object.)
A mind map?
An image of The Buddha?
Long shot.
[S] Not a mind map.
[R] Not an image of the Buddha.
A private island?
[Superman] Not a private island.
An island?
[Boolbar] Not an island of any sort. Not a geographical feature, in fact.
Do these objects have strong links to reproduction?
[Dujon] No link to reproduction.
Any connection to research?
Do you own one?
[Rosie] applause! YES, there is a connection to research.
[Tuj] Yes, I think I could reasonably claim to have one.
A library?
[Rosie] Yes, a library. Have this scroll containing the rules to Mornington Crescent, rescued from the Library of Alexandria.
I say! Bravo, R & R
(Raak) A valuable historic document. Trouble is I can't lift it.

Forever onwards with ABSTRACT with strong ANIMAL connections

.
Is it an ostrich that has yet to be spotted?
Is it wild?
(Boolbar) The elusive ostrich? Unsurprisingly, NO.
Bismarck) *audience cackles* In a restricted sense, to some people, YES .
Rewilding?
Is it fictional?
(Raak) Rewilding? NO.
(Tuj) Fictional? This question is intrinsically unanswerable with present knowledge.
Is it associated with a particular animal species?
Well! There's an intriguing response.
Is it a story of uncertain factuality?
Extraterrestrial?
(Tuj) Particular animal species? YES, but that's not actually very helpful.
(Raak) Uncertain factuality? YES. *mixed audience reaction. Some murmurs of approval; some belly laughs*
(Boolbar) Extraterrestrial? NO, very much earth-bound.
A shaggy dog story?
A stand-up comic's act?
Is it a future event?
Does death play a part in this?
(Superman) Shaggy dog story? NO.
(Raak) Stand-up? *some suppressed giggling* NO.
Tuj) A future event? NOT KNOWN. It is certainly a possibility.
(Dujon) Death? NO.
Is a specific individual involved?
(Raak) Specific individual? NO.
Is sex involved?
(Superman) Sex? The mind boggles. NO, none whatever.
The afterlife?
(Raak) NO, not the afterlife. *cynical giggles from some of the audience*
A prophesy?
The horsemen of the Apocalypse?
(Raak) Some prophecies have been made in relation to this but essentially NO.
(Bismarck) NO, no gee-gees.
Is it related to politics?
(Tuj) Related to politics? YES. *prolonged audience applause*
Related to Brexit?
(Raak) Well, I think that's near enough. It is actually BREXIT and I hand you this toxic stick. Wear gloves.
looks for a Brexiteer's arse to bury it in

The next is MINERAL (I think, mostly) with ABSTRACT connections.

Is it found on the Earth?
It is found on the Earth.
Is it in Europe?
Is it a weapon?
[B] Some are in Europe.
[S] Hmm...not, strictly speaking, a weapon.
Is it a geographical feature?
[Rosie] Not a geographical feature.
A meteorite?
[Software] Not a meteorite.
Is it a monument?
[Bismarck] Not a monument.
Human made?
[Boolbar] Yes, human made.
Did it originate in Germany?
[Superman] Not from Germany.
Is it predominantly metal?
[Tuj] Not metal.
Did any of these exist over 1000 years ago?
[Boolbar] None of them existed over 1000 years ago.
Millennium Stones?
[Software] Not Millennium Stones (whatever those are).
Is it a work of art?
[Rosie] applause! It is art.
One or more Henry Moore mobiles?
[Bismarck] Not by Henry Moore. Not a mobile.
Does it have any watery connections?
[SM] No watery connections.
Is it an island wrapped by Christoph?
[Superman] Not an island wrapped by Christoph.
Is it associated with any particular date(s)?
Is it a representation of a fictional character?
[SM] No particular date.
[B] Some examples are representations of fictional characters.
Are these all by one artist?
[Boolbar] Applause! Works of a particular artist.
The Dali museum in Barcelona?
[Bismarck] Not Dali.
Hm, are they Banksies?
[SM] A winner! Yes, A Banksy graffito is the words on the card. Excuse me while I run this baton through a woodchipper before presenting it.
Whoops, now I've gotta think of one.

Um.

OK. These are usually MINERAL.

Even worse, I gotta remember what I picked!
Garden Gnomes?
Decorative?
Stones?
No again.
Trolls?
... No.
Found on Earth?
Oh good, a YES at last. Found on Earth.
Is there just one of these?
No, many.
Are these likely to be found in Antarctica?
No, not likely. (Very minor hint in comments)
Man-made?
YES, without exception. Well, um, except for all the ones that are woman-made, or any other gender variations.
Is it likely to be found in the home of an average Morniverser, if there is such a thing?
Yep, they're present even in a Crescenter's house.
Used for preparing or eating food?
YES. [Applause]
A chopping board?
No. Besides, I wouldn't have said chopping boards were usually mineral; I'd tend to assume wooden first, mineral second.
Is it a cast iron pan?
Nuh uh.
A container?
A tool for turning pieces of food into smaller pieces of food?
A piece of cutlery?
[Raak] Not really. [Bismarck] YES. [Audience checks contract, then whoops stamps and cheers.]
A Fork?
Which way shall I go?
No, not a fork. You're so close!
A spork?
I thought that might happen :-)
No. But you're even closer than Boolbar was.
A sporknife?
No, and it's probably not spopsticks either.
Does this magnificent utensil have a brand name ending in "ayd"
[Dujon] Alas, no.
Does it rhyme with 'swoon'?
YES! [Stretchers arrive to ferry out a couple of audience members who fainted from excitement.]
Can it be preceded by the word "dessert"?
YES, it can. By Jove you're really narrowing it down now.
Can it be made from wood?
I can see a theme coming through here.. it must be a - but I'll let Raak answer that.
Wood? YES.
Has the existence of this thing been notably denied?
Can this object be bent, as if by magic?
YES. They may even have been a Japanese anime about it, although I could be wrong there.
[Raak] Utensil denial: YES.
Should one count these at the end of a dinner party, especially if a guest has talked overmuch of his honour?
Utensil census: YES.
Can two of these be used as a makeshift percussion instrument?
Utensil chorus: YES.
arrow_circle_down
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord