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Shortlived Christmas Cheer
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A Christmas continuous verse similar to the inside those wonderful cards in barbed rhyming couplets. The winning move to be played on Boxing Day or soon as possible thereafter. Bah humbug!
Once more it is the time of year
When folks quaff copious cups of cheer
And crackling fires illume the hearth
And peace and love reign o'er the earth
When robins sing upon the bough
There's no more joyous time than now
When we recall the Angel's words
As sweet to me as smelling turds Aren't these supposed to be barbed?
And roasting Rudolph on the spit
A haunch of moose feeds well our wit.
Now comes the moment to give thanks ... steady now
For the credit given by our banks is that what you were worried about
As we eat and drink ourselves to debt
While hiding from the cold and wet
In bars where we forget the poor
Drink past 'Time', and break the law
Let's hoist a pint of evil brew
Say "Sod the rest, let's me and you (dangling sentence and quote alert) BTW, here's a picee in a similar vein.
Praise God in voices loud and clear"
and for Christ's sake sound sincere.
Deck the halls with poison'd holly
Resist the urge to stab Aunt Molly let's get black .. mwahaha
Put some mistletoe in the pud
Use the tree for fire wood
Use the tree for bonfire wood
Let bells put forth their tuneless peal
Whilst we unwrap with greedy zeal
A pair of socks from Auntie Flo
And a blow up doll from Uncle Joe    I used to have a great aunt called Flo(rence) who married my great uncle Joe. I suspect that they would not approve.
Let us sing a cheerful carol
Wrapped in winter's warm apparel
Which we nicked from Marks and Sparks
Ripping off the stores for larks
Then we'll guzzle alcopops
Keep a lookout for the cops
They'll come down like a ton of bricks
Our heads cracked open with their kicks
We'll spend the night locked in their cells
Then wake up to the sound of bells
With Anti-Social Behaviour Order
Just for taking one camcorder
To the flicks to pirate "Troy"
They call this Christmas joy?
As for all the starving millions...
(unlike, say, the Old Millhillians)
"I'm all right Jack" is our motto
As we head for Santa's grotto
"Three quid, guv," For some old junk
Far east tat sold by smelly punk
Let's hope it snows - and sod the bookies!
[Advert break: buy Millie's Cookies!]
Time for TV's festive fare
Re-runs of Where Eagles Dare
Then adverts for our summer hols
(It makes a change from chav tart dolls)
The Wise and Morecambe Show repeats
Will keep us snoring in our seats
The "Message" from our dear old Queen
Would me more fun if done 'obscene'
er... be, obviously...
As dear old Gran nods off to sleep
And cherubs through the windows peep
At couples having Christmas gropes
Dashing all their D.I.N.K.Y. hopes (Double Income, No Kids Yet)
The turkey only half-consumed
daily from the fridge exhumed
For pies and sarnies, soup and curry
Get salmonella if you don't hurry
Now the New Years Eve approaches
An infestation of huge cockroaches Unfinished sentence alert
Gather in huge public places I guess we're talking about revellers here...?
to invade our most private spaces
Drunks in fountains and on walls
And Mornington Crescent's ticket halls. Bah humbug!
*shouts, screams, generally goes wild for penelope*
That's enough of that! New Year, new game....
Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord